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ADVENTURES 


OP 

AN ATTORNEY 


Search of Practice. 


BY 

SAMUEL WARREN, 

AUTHOR OF “DIARY OF A PHYSICIAN,” LAW STUDIES,” ETO. 


BOSTON : 

ESTES AND LAURIAT 
1 8 8 0 . 





©0 

Sill attornegs toljo toant 
a (Client. 














ADVENTURES, &c. 


CHAPTER I. 


* Quos clientes nemo habero valit.”— Cic. 

There is something vastly agreeable in th« 
first day of a professional life ; clerkship, servi- 
tude, and drudgery are all at an end ; one no 
longer asks the hour, with sore consciousness 
of being too late for office, or dire misgivings 
of having being inquired for; and racking 
one’s wits in vain for some new excuse, not yet 
exhausted, of “ gone to the Temple,” “ examin- 
ing an abstract,” or “ serving a notice ! ” I 
was in such a desperate hurry to begin, that 
though I had not a client nor the dream of one, 
and was filled wuth lofty ambition to do the 
thing well, and start with all the magnificence 
of a house, I had not patience to wait till I 


2 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


could find one, but engaged a first floor over a 
shop, bought a desk and half-a-dozen chairs 
second-hand, incarcerated the first strav lad I 
could catch, in a dark cell eight feet by six, 
tied up old precedents with new tape, and then 
painted my name gorgeously on the door posts 
with all the dignity of “ Mr. Sharpe, Solicitor,” 
at full length. 

Such was my self-complacency at the inde- 
pendence of my novel position, that I believe I 
rung my hand-bell for my clerk half a score of 
times in the course of an hour, merely for the 
pleasure of having it answered; though there 
was charity in the act, for without this stimulus 
to attention, he would inevitably have gone to 
sleep for lack of better employment. “ Well,” 
I thought to myself, “ here I am at last, and 
there’s an end to Blackstone and Tidd, and 
Barton’s Precedents, and all that for the pres- 
ent; and as to leases, and settlements, and 
wills, they are bad enough to be sure, in any 
view of the case, but at all events I shall draw 
them to pay myself, and that is something.” 
And thus comforting myself for the plague of 
prospective labor, I eyed the grave red-lettered 
calf-skin, resumed the newspaper, read every 


IN SEARCH OP PRACTICE. 


advertisement, and finally gaped out of the 
window in vain speculation of finding a client 
in some passer by. 

How long this interesting state of indolent 
expectation might have continued, had I waited 
for clients to come to me, I cannot say, but 
after a week or two I began to find it as ennuy- 
ant as it was profitless, and resolved, as nobody 
seemed willing to find me out, to try my luck 
in finding out them. It was very clear that my 
extraordinary merits were still unknown, and an 
attorney, though he ought certainly to “ blush 
unseen,” if he blushes at all, cannot by any 
means afford to waste his sweetness on the desert 
air. Hence I changed my plan ; left word with 
my clerk that if any body called I was “ gone 
to the Temple,” and sallied forth on a Paul Pry 
expedition among all my friends and acquaint- 
ances ; but I verily believe that the demon of 
ill-luck, if there is such a deity in heathen 
mythology, presided over my first essays. Hot 
a. soul had called on me for three weeks, except 
two or three idle lads to see “ how I got on,” 
when, while engaged on one of my marauding 
expeditions, a certain noble lord of very large 
property, hitherto unprovided with a solicitor, 


4 


ADVENTURES OE AN ATTORNEY 


and to whom I had been favorably mentioned 
by a common relative, drove up to my door, and 
called to instruct me to file an information 
against the trustees of an important charity. 
“ Gone to the Temple ” was as unintelligible to 
his noble ears as if my clerk had reported me 
“gone to the devil;” perhaps, in his opinion 
the expressions were synonymous, as in truth, I 
have often considered them myself: however 
this may be, I never saw any more of his lord- 
ship, or heard another syllable of his instruc- 
tions, (except that another solicitor had filed the 
information,) though on three successive morn- 
ings I left my card at his mansion in Grosvenor 
Square; at no cost of time, for I had nothing 
else to do, but at an immense expense of coach- 
hire, omnibuses not then being in fashion. It 
is all for the best : I have since seen and heard 
much of his lordship ; he is a worthy man, but 
his notions, however becoming his high rank, 
would never have agreed with my temper at 
that early time of day; and had we quarrelled, 
I should have lost clients in his connexion that 
I have still retained, and value far more highly. 

This was a bad beginning, but I made the 
best of it, as has been my rule through life ; a 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


6 


wealthy client of noble rank is a prize to any 
man, but to a beginner at the age of four-and- 
twenty, the loss of him is a serious aflair ; so I 
complained to my friends of my bad fortune, 
wondered how anybody, noble or plebeian, 
could be so unreasonable as to expect to find a 
man of business always at home without mak- 
ing an appointment, and a few days after was 
solaced by a call from a gentleman that 1 had 
long known, who wished for my advice on a 
case where he clearly had not a leg to stand on ; 
and so I told him. 

“ But must I lose the money, Sharpe ? ” 

“ I am afraid so.” 

“ Then you think there is nothing in it ? ” 

“ I won’t go so far as that, but I think you 
are wrong.” 

“ Umph ! a pretty joke to let this villain rob 
me in this way ! I thought you would get me 
out of it ; but you say you are not certain. I 
should like to ask Mr. Scarlett.” 

Lord Abinger at that time ruled the day. I 
suggested the opinion of a junior counsel, as 
more easily attainable, and the opinion was 
taken. It confirmed mine, but my client was 
still dissatisfied ; he went to another attorney, 


6 


ADVENTURES OP AN ATTORNEY 


who brought the action, and succeeding by 
Scarlett’s aid, against law and reason, swamped 
my credit; for though the plaintiff has been my 
friend, and a kind one too, for more than 
twenty years, he has never again been my client 
from that day to this. I met him a few days 
after the trial, and our conversation was rather 
amusing. 

“ "Well, Wright, you have gained the day ! ” 

“ Yes, to he sure : hut little thanks to you.” 

“ I admit it ; for I still think you were all 
wrong.” 

“ Ay ; but wiser folks thought me all right.” 

“ Scarlett never thought so, whatever the jury 
might.” 

“But Scarlett did think so, and said so.” 

“ Oh yes ! he told the jury so of course, and 
they were fools enough to believe him ; hut did 
he tell you so, at your consultation ? ” 

“He said nothing at the consultation! he 
never once asked me to sit down; hut he 
cocked his eye at the attorney, nodded to the 
other counsel, poked the fire, and I saw at once 
it was all right. I paid two guineas or more 
for that cock of the eye ; hut it don’t matter for 
that, so long as that rascal can’t roh me and 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


7 


laugh at me to boot ; and he would have done 
both, had I followed your advice.” 

“Well, don’t cry till you are out of the 
wood ; he’ll move for a new trial, and will get 
it, take my word for it ; and then Scarlett him« 
self will tell you who is right.” 

My friend made a wry face at this prediction, 
and had his opponent then chanced to meet 
with him, and taken him between wind and 
water, he would gladly have drawn stakes ; but 
as my ill-luck would have it, I was again out, 
for a new trial was not moved for, my friend 
recovered damages and costs, and has ever since 
voted me a fool, and himself the very cleverest 
biped in creation : yet the case was as clear as 
the daylight. I earned, by this matter, £2. 145. 
6d., and lost my client and my legal repute into 
the bargain 

Weeks and even months rolled on, and my 
neat new floorcloth was still scarcely soiled by 
a trace of rich city mud, my desk was yet un- 
stained by ink, my red tape retained its virgin 
bloom, my papers had not gathered an ounce 
of “ blacks” my clerk had acquired an habitual 
deze, and even my hand-bell seemed to have lost 
its power of disturbing his siesta! Matters 


8 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


looked desperate, and some extraordinary effort 
must be made to maintain appearances ? Thi ngs 
were in this state when I received a. call from a 
venerable old gentleman, for whom I had been 
actively employed in my clerkship. Though I 
had almost jumped up in ecstacy at the un- 
wonted sound of voices in the outer room, I felt 
bitter disappointment when my visitor was 
ushered in ; for I inferred that his object could 
only be to discuss old business of which I 
thought I had taken leave for ever, or to bother 
me with the yet more provoking inquiry after 
papers or documents long since sent to the 
tomb of the Capulets. I was mistaken. 

“ Mr. Sharpe, I have been at a stand-still ever 
since I lost you : nobody understands my case : 
nobody will read my papers : I have to begin 
again, and go over all the old ground, — what 
can I do ? ” 

“ Tell me how I can help you, and I will with 
all my heart.” 

“ You must take the business into your own 
hands.” 

“ That would be unfair to my late masters.” 

“ They wish it themselves.” 

I inquired into the fact, and found it was so 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


9 


I cannot consistently, with the mask that I am 
obliged to assume, mention their names ; and 
if I could, my testimony to their liberal and 
generous behaviour could add hut little to the 
very distinguished station which they have 
long and deservedly occupied in the profession. 
This old gentleman was the claimant of prop- 
erty exceeding half a million sterling. I believe 
that it was nearly double that amount, hut I 
never accurately learnt the sum. lie was a 
man of first-rate abilities and wonderful reso- 
lution ; he had been engaged for a quarter of a 
century in prosecuting this claim, and had 
accumulated papers upon it sufficient to load a 
coal-wagon. Disappointment, however, had 
attended all his efforts: he had three times 
memorialized the special tribunal which parlia- 
ment had appointed for the investigation of his 
and similar cases, and he had three times been 
turned back. In this dilemma, he was recom- 
mended to apply to the eminent house to which 
I have alluded; his papers were in a foreign 
language which I alone in the office under- 
stood; and hence he was handed over to my 
care. When I left the office, I had, by dint of 
immense exertion, reduced his voluminous 
1 * 


10 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


papers to a manageable form, and put the mat- 
ter in sucb a simple train for explanation, that 
I never dreamt of my further aid being required. 
It is difficult, however, for the ablest man to 
take up another’s work ; and poor Mr. Boyle 
soon found himself at sea with my successor. 
Had I at this time made a bargain with him, 
he felt his case so beset with difficulties, and so 
likely to survive, if not to murder him, for he 
was then seventy-two, that he would gladly 
have allowed me live per cent, on all that I 
might recover ; indeed, he hinted as much ; but 
I neither then nor now think such a mode of 
doing business quite honest, or at least, respec- 
table. When relieved from all scruples of deli- 
cacy, by the kindness of his former solicitors, I 
resumed the case with all the energy I could 
command. His age prevented his daily coming 
to me; and consequently, I spent my time, 
often extending far into night, at his house. I 
succeeded for him to the full extent of his de- 
mand; but not till my statement of it, and 
my proofs, had been submitted to the keen 
scrutiny and close consideration of that clear- 
headed statesman, the late Mr. Huskisson. I 
shall not soon forget the grateful elation with 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


11 


which Mr. Boyle announced to me his success. 
He had been laboring for years in vain. He 
had spent life’s best existence in painful re- 
search, in self-denying privation, in prison, in 
want, and in personal danger ; resolved never 
to abandon, hut with life itself, the prosecution 
of a case which afforded him the only prospect 
of satisfying creditors who owed their losses to 
his most unmerited misfortunes. He had at 
length triumphed. He frankly and gratefully 
acknowledged that he owed that triumph essen- 
tially to my intelligence and industry. He was 
placed by it in circumstances, not only of inde- 
pendence, but of wealth, even after paying to the 
uttermost farthing every sixpence that he owed ; 
and to his honor it should he added that efflux- 
ion of time had long extinguished every legal 
liability. His creditors nobly acknowledged 
his merit, for they not only returned him the 
interest on their debts, but presented him with 
an estate which cost them sixty thousand 
pounds. He called for my bill, and I looked 
on my fortune as made : it somewhat exceeded 
forty-one pounds, five shillings, and sixpence, 
and was paid to a fraction; but I lost my 
client ! I did afterwards conduct for him an 


12 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


appeal to the privy council, involving a com- 
paratively trifling sum of five or six thousand 
pounds, and I lost it on a point of law. He 
was too noble-minded to have resented this, as 
the failure was not mine. I attribute his deser- 
tion of me to a very different cause, and one 
which, I fear, vindicated it to his own mind. 
Having paid his creditors in full, he wished to 
supersede his bankruptcy. The commission 
was of nearly thirty years’ date ; he was very 
old and infirm ; and I collected from him that 
complicated and serious accounts were still out- 
standing between him and the estate of his de- 
ceased partner. I deprecated the supersedeas 
of his bankruptcy, lest it should rip open 
differences which costly and perennial litigation 
alone could settle : he could not comprehend 
the difficulty, and, I fear, ascribed it to motives 
that he disdained, — a wish to protect him by 
technical defense, from obligations that he 
knew were just. If this was not the cause of 
his alienation from me, I know it not to this 
hour; but so dire was the offense that I un- 
consciously gave him, that he limited his grati- 
tude strictly to my demand, and cut me from 
that day, or nearly so, to the day of his death, 


IN SEARCH OE PRACTICE. 


13 


twelve years after. I have met with many un- 
accountable disappointments in my professional 
career, hut few of them have been more myster- 
ious to me, than how I happened to offend this 
venerable client, by recovering for him half a 
million of money under desperate circumstances, 
at a cost of £41. 55. 6d. 

This disappointment mortified me much at 
the time, and even still I feel it ; hut somehow 
or other I gradually crept on in connexion, 
though still destined to lose my clients as 
rapidly as I acquired them. I have always had 
the credit of being a good-natured fellow : it is 
the worst reputation that an attorney can enjoy; 
he may he as acid as Sir Yicary Gibbs (my 
younger readers will scarcely understand the 
allusion), as roguish as Ikey Solomons (this 
comes nearer the present day), as ignorant of 
law as my Lord B (nobody will misunder- 

stand this), and yet, if he is not unluckily a 
good-natured fellow, he will make money and 
retain clients. A reverend clergyman, whom 1 
had known intimately at Cambridge, had a 
pretty servant-girl. The pretty servant-girl had 
previously lived in a wealthy family of rank, 
where she had given great satisfaction; so 


14 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


great, that she looked for higher wages, and 
these being refused, she took herself off. A 
pretty girl is not likely to he long out of 
place, if she conducts herself decently, and very 
soon she found one to her heart’s content ; hut 
character was required, and her former mistress 
being piqued at her abrupt departure, declared 
her to he all that was excellent, hut nodded her 
head, and added that she was “ unsteady.’* A 
nod of the head, whether from a prime minister 
or a prima donna, is no trifle; the pretty, hut 
“ unsteady ” services of the girl were rejected ; 
the fair one took refuge with the reverend 
gentleman; and he appealed, with Quixotic 
benevolence, to my confounded good-nature to 
see the girl “ righted.” I brought an action 
for the libel, against my pleader’s advice this 
time, for I had had experience enough of being 
too clear-sighted; I laid the damages high; 
assigned as many mischievous inuendoes to the 
word “ unsteady,” as an Irishman reeling along 
in all his glory could have devised; and, 
against all reason, law, and common sense, re- 
covered a hundred pounds, when as many pence 
would have been ample indemnity. A new 
trial was moved for, and of course obtained, on 


IN SEARCII OF PRACTICE. 


15 


payment of costs by the defendant. The costs 
were paid; the record again brought down; 
the cause called on; the jury sworn; and then 
the defendant cried peccavi ! offered to submit 
to the damages assessed before, and pay all 
costs of the second trial. What man in his 
sober senses would reject such overtures ! Of 
course I acceded to them, packed up my briefs, 
and bolted. The costs were very heavy, for 
witnesses had been subpoenaed to rebut the 
pleas of justification. I write from recollection, 
but if my memory does not deceive me, the 
taxed costs between party and party were more 
than <£300. My extra costs would have swal- 
lowed up the damages, but my “ good-nature ” 
would only accept those out of pocket, about 
thirty pounds ; leaving the pretty “ unsteady ” 
lass seventy to comfort herself with, on the 
strength of which she married a very steady 
baker in less than a month. But again I lost 
my reverend client! “Was ever such a gross 
dereliction of duty ! to submit to a dastardly 
compromise; to spare the well-deserved ex- 
posure ! such scandalous oppression ! such un- 
heard-of, such base, such unprecedented calumny 
on a poor, helpless, unfriended girl! and her 


16 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


own attorney, after taking up her cause * good* 
naturedly,’ benevolently, and boldly, to cow 
before the front of cruelty, and the pride of rank 
and purse ! ! ! ” &c. &c. &c. So my reverend 
friend bade me good-by ; transferred bis patron- 
age and bis business elsewhere; and, though 
vve have once or twice, during the last twenty 
years, met on cool and distant terms, I have 
never seen him or any of bis connexion, within 
the walls of my office, from that hour to this. 
We were previously on terms of intimacy. 

My “ good nature ” has been eternally in my 
way; another early incident of my professional 
life will show this in another light. In the last 
instance, it led me into the folly of espousing a 
bad case on its merits, on the solicitation of an 
ass who could not understand its demerits ; and 
though I won the case, I lost the blockhead’s 
business, which was far better worth gaining ; 
but the next folly into which my “good nature” 
plunged me entailed with it loss of time, trouble, 
money, and connexion too, simply because I 
laid people under obligations, who were too 
poor to discharge them, and too proud to 
acknowledge them ! and, perhaps I should say, 
too mean to offer that indirect, but satisfactory 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


17 


acquittance which is easily won by the favor- 
able introduction of a young professional man 
to the circles of rank and wealth. 

I had still next to nothing to do, when acci- 
dent brought me to the acquaintance of a lady 
of high birth and considerable property, but 
whose affairs were deeply, though not irretriev- 
ably involved. The peculiar introduction which 
I had to her, though the object of it was ex- 
pressly to offer my professional services, com- 
pelled me, as I thought, to offer them gratui- 
tously. They were accepted with an avidity 
that ought to have made me distrustful of their 
value being appreciated : but I had undertaken 
no trifling duty; there were bailiffs to baffle, 
duns to tranquilize, annuitants to awe, friends to 
coax, and, in a word, the devil to pay. How I 
ever got through it, I cannot tell, but I did clear 
the road; and finally, by cutting down one claim, 
compromising another, and setting at defiance 
two or three score, till they willingly took a 
shilling in the pound, I succeeded in extricat- 
ing my “ honorable ” client, and comfortably 
left her to make the best shift she could on 
some twelve hundred a-year. I was never 
asked for my costs, nor ever asked her for them, 


18 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY - 


though they would have been no trifle; hut a 
year or two after I casually met her in the 
park, where certainly I had no business to be. 
She was walking with a female relative. 

“ Good morning, Mrs. Leighton : it is a 
lovely day.” 

The glass to the eye, and a distant courtesy. 

“ I wonder that the park is so deserted in this 
weather.” 

A second courtesy, partaking rather of the 
bow. If I have too much good-nature, I cer- 
tainly seldom want assurance; and that is a 
kind of compensation-balance — a good set-off, 
as my brethren would say. 

“ Laura, my dear, I fear the carriage will 
miss us ; ” and so saying, my “ honorable ” 
client was meditating an escapade closely border- 
ing on the cut direct. I resolved this should 
not succeed. 

“ Apropos of the carriage, Mrs. Leighton, 
had you any more trouble with that rascallj 
coach-maker, Stiffspring ? ” 

“ Oh, my dear Mr. Sharpe, I declare I didn’t 
know you ! don’t mention the fellow’s name ; 
you quite distress me, — the horrid creature! 
but I can’t stop to talk now, for the wind is 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


18 


very eold, (it was a sultry day in July !) I shall 
Bee you soon, 5 ’ and so saying, she directly 
turned hack, assuring “ Laura ” that the carri- 
age must have gone the other way. I pursued 
my own ; and never have seen her since, though 
I hear she is again in the same quagmire in 
which I first found her: and there she may 
remain for me. 


20 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


CHAPTER II. 


“Non nostrum inter vos tantas componere lites.”— Ecl. III. 


It was my destiny, for a long time, to fall in 
with most unmanageable clients. I have no 
doubt that every solicitor who has to make his 
own connexion, as it is called, meets with the 
same adventures, more or less; hut I cannot 
help thinking that I have had more than my 
fair share. There are two classes of clients 
that I have always found especially tickle and 
difficult to please; and yet in the first instance, 
they are always the most confiding and appar- 
ently the most docile. Docility is a great 
point in a client: some attorneys will laud 
ductility as a better virtue, and very near akin 
to it; I will not dispute this, when the client 
has the other properties of gold; hut by docil- 
ity, I mean something between ductility, plia- 
bility, and capability: whereas clients of the 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


21 


classes I am about to mention have very sel- 
dom any of either of these good qualities after 
their first or second interview. 

Whatever wears a petticoat, whether ladies 
or clergymen, is an absolute nuisance in an 
attorney’s office. I have given a specimen of 
both, but not exactly in the character to which 
I now allude. 

One day when I was meditating gravely 
on the past, and speculating anxiously on the 
future, each foot on the hob, and leaning back 
in my office chair, which began now to exhibit 
a little of the professional dignity of fading 
morocco, a portly gentleman, with a rosy face 
that confessed to a daily bottle of port for at 
least forty summers, was announced as “the 
Venerable the Archdeacon Tithestraw.” I rose, 
and bowed, and offered him the professional 
tli rone on which I had been myself seated, not, 
I protest, from any obsequious deference, though 
I own to certain pleasurable anticipations of 
an exchequer suit, but simply because my 
mind misgave me as to the sufficiency of any 
other chair in the room, adequate to his safe 
reception, in point of strength and capacity. 

“ You are a Cambridge man, Air. Sharpe?” 


22 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


“I have that honor, Sir.” 

“May I ask what college?” 

So many Cantabrigian sins rushed to my 
conscience, though it had slumbered over them 
for years in peace, that I was awe-struck by 
the interrogatory, not less than by the pom- 
posity of his tone, and the inflated dignity of 
his manner. 

“Certainly, Sir; hut excuse me for first in- 
quiring why you ask ? ” 

“ Sir, I am unfortunately compelled, by con- 
scientious principles, to embark in a contro- 
versy of the most painful nature with one of 
my parishioners; and as mine is a peculiar, 
indeed I may say a very uncommon case, I 
would fain avail myself of the assistance of a 
legal adviser whose sympathies, not less than 
his professional zeal, would he enlisted in my 
behalf. I heard in our combination-room, that 
you and I, Sir, were both children of the same 
Alma Mater, and hence I inquired your col- 
lege to assure myself of your identity.” 

This long-winded enunciation of himself 
and his business, did not by any means pre- 
possess me in favor of my visitor: however, 
six and eight-pence is worth having, come 


IN SEARCH OE PRACTICE. 23 

from what pocket it may, so I declared my col- 
lege, and satisfied his doubts : he then proceeded. 

“It is most painful, Sir, to any man who 
feels the due importance of the pastoral rela- 
tion, to be involved in a controversy with a 
parishioner about the temporalities of the 
church; hut we owe a duty to our successors, 
which is too frequently opposed to our natural 
inclination to yield, rather than assert by law, 
our most undoubted rights.” 

The sentiment was awfully impressive, and 
might possibly he sincere. I bowed, and 
hemmed acquiescence. 

“I need not remind you, Sir, that though 
in the present day, and for some centuries 
past, that revolution that occurred in our 
ecclesiastical polity in the days of the eighth 
Henry, completely secularized all property in 
tithes, and subjected them to the manifold 
incidents of a lay -fee, yet on the acknowl- 
edged principles of our common law, spiritual 
persons alone are entitled to receive them.” 

The Archdeacon now became awfully learned ! 
I again bowed and hemmed, but with some- 
what more of the hem critical, than the hem 
acquiescent: he advanced in his syllogism. 


24 


adventures of an attorney 


“I, Sir, am a spiritual person, as my card 
has doubtless assured you. I am the vicar of 
Dumbleton cum Quagland, in the county of 
Lincoln; and by virtue of the endowment, I 
claim, as of indisputable right, all the tithes 
of hay, wool, agistment, sheep, calves, poultry, 
and garden stuff, and all oblations, mortuaries, 
and dues thereto belonging, or in any way 
appurtenant to the same.” 

It admitted of no question; on my part it 
would have been downright folly to doubt it: 
my assent to the position was this time most 
cordial. 

“ Easter offerings, Sir, are, as you of course 
well know, dues of common right.” 

He paused, as if for a professional confirma- 
tion of the dogma, but I knew nothing about 
it, though I was afraid to say so. My policy 
was to parry the thrust by a simple 

“Well, Sir?’ 

“I may be wrong, Sir; I do not pretend to 
be an authority in such matters, but the slight 
research which my clerical duties have allowed 
me to make into them, has taught me to con- 
sider this as an axiom in law; for I find it 
so laid down by my Lord Coke, and also 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


25 


recognized in the learned book of Peere Wil- 
liams, 4 for,’ says the chief baron Gilbert, 4 Eas- 
ter offerings are a compensation for personal 
tithes, or as other authorities maintain, for the 
tithe of personal labor; inasmuch as by the 
statute 2 and 3 of Edward VI, chap, xiii, sec. 
7, it is enacted, that every person shall yearly, 
at or before Easter, pay, for his personal tithe, 
the tenth part of his clear gain, his charges 
and expenses being allowed according to his 
degree.” 

I began to gasp for breath, having long 
since been out of my depth, hut my venerable 
visitor had not got to the beginning of his 
case; and in spite ,of exchequer suits in view, 
I trembled at the prospect. Silence was ob- 
viously my cue, and I allowed him to go on 
without interruption. 

44 It was determined in Hewn versus Cham- 
berlain, 1 Equity Cases Abridged, page 366, 
that the clear profit of a corn-mill must be 
reckoned after deducting the charge of erect- 
ing the mill; and this has been decided over 
and over again, for which see Ambler, Ver- 
non, Brown, Lee, and many other old and 

valuable reports.” 

2 


26 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


I was absolutely in consternation: exami- 
nation before admission was nothing to it; I 
quaked horribly, and could only still reply : 

“Well, Sir?” 

“Well, Sir; Peter Tyler, the miller at Dum- 
bleton cum Quagland, my wealthiest parish- 
ioner, sets me at defiance, and insists that the 
sails are an annual charge to be deducted 
from his clear profits before he will pay his 
personal tithe of labor, commonly called Eas- 
ter dues!” 

I began to suspect a hoax, but it was not 
prudent to avow the suspicion: 

“I thought, Sir, at least I always under- 
stood, that two-pence or three-pence per head 
was universally recognized as the rate of 
Easter dues!” 

“I know not by what law or statute that 
limit can be prescribed, Sir, nor do I know 
any precedent that can overrule the act of 
Edward the Sixth. Will you favor me with 
a case, Sir?” 

I was convinced the man was hoaxing me, 
and I resolved to be even with him. 

“The case of Twitch and Tweakem is de- 
cisive on that point.” 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


27 


“Twitch and Tweakem,” taking out his 
pocket-book and noting it down: “have the 
goodness to refer me to the report.” 

“You will find it,” I said, turning over a 
common place book with nothing in it, “at 
page 551 of Quotem’s Reports, vol. 15.” 

But there was no joking in the matter: he 
returned to me the next day to tell me that 
he had been to the Temple and Lincoln’s 
Inn libraries, and even to the British Museum, 
but could discover neither the case nor the 
book. 

“Very likely, Sir; it is extremely scarce, 
and not to be met with, except by sheer acci- 
dent; but what do you wish me to do?” 

“ I wish you to compel Peter Tyler, Sir, to 
render an account, a true and just account, of 
his clear annual profits; and in a case, Sir, 
like this, where the interests of the church (of 
which I am an unworthy minister) are at 
stake, I am willing to bear any reasonable 
expense, even if it should, by the tedious un- 
certainty of the law, (for which I blame no 
one) absorb twenty, or thirty, or peradventure 
fifty pounds.” 

I could scarcely forbear a laugh at the mag- 


28 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


nificence of his proffered martyrdom to the gen- 
eral interests of the church; or at the naivete 
with which he thought to disguise, under such 
a flimsy veil, a splenetic and vindictive feeling 
against the poor miller of Dumbleton cum 
Quagland : on my assuring him that he must 
reckon on costs upon a ten -fold scale, he 
applied his snow-white cambric to his olfac- 
tory organ, replaced his shovel-hat upon his 
brows, and with most dignified courtesy bade 
me good-morning. I never heard what be- 
came of Peter Tyler and his mill, nor whether 
my estimate of costs, or my joke, had settled 
the point, but I did hear, that shortly after- 
wards the venerable archdeacon was a trustee 
defendant in an important cause in which I 
was retained by — nobody! 


Itf SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


29 


CHAPTER III. 


“ Lucent genialibus altis 
Aurea fulcra toris, epulseque ante ora paratae 
Regifico luxu : Furiarum maxima juxta 
Accubat, et manibus prohibet contingere mensas, 
Exsurgitque facem attollens.” — AX VI. 

I was still musing on my misfortunes, for 
lack of other more interesting topics of pro- 
fessional meditation, when about ten days after 
this mortifying discovery, a ticket-porter came 
bustling up to my office door, hearing an 
antiquated box well protected by iron clamps, 
corded and locked, and duly directed to Greg- 
ory Sharpe, Esq., Attorney at Law, &c., “ to 
be kept dry, this side uppermost,” and all the 
rest of it. The man demanded fifteen shillings 
for the carriage, and two more for the porter- 
age ; but where it came from, except from that 
Maelstorm of parcels and passengers, the Golden 
Cross, or what it contained, he knew no more 
than the dead. I again suspected a hoax of 


80 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


stones and brickbats, by way of apology lor 
demanding seventeen shillings, but there was a 
sweet promise about the venerable chest, which 
determined me on venturing, and I paid for, 
and received the charge. Day after day, and 
week after week passed over, but no explanatory 
letter arrived; and though the box was dis- 
tinctly addressed to me, yet as it was securely 
locked and no key had been forwarded, I was 
deterred by scruples of delicacy, from opening 
it. I eyed it and examined it daily and curi- 
ously, and various and profound were my 
speculations. It was to be “ kept dry ; ” this 
argued papers or deeds within; but then the 
top was “to be kept uppermost,” and I well 
knew that all the writings and deeds of the 
richest land-holders in the kingdom were hourly 
turned over in an attorney’s office, without up- 
setting a title. My scruples might have re- 
stricted my curiosity for a twelvemonth, but 
for the seasonable visit of a fair damsel, who 
carried on the mystery of bonnet-making. She 
called on me one morning in considerable 
agitation ; under such excitement indeed, that 
my professional dreams always haunting my 
sanguine imagina/tion, took a new form, and 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


31 


“breach of promise,” with all its interesting 
details flitted before my eyes! I had almost 
instinctively rung my bell to dispatch a retainer 
to Serjeant Wilde, when, having recovered her 
breath, exhausted by the steepness of my stairs, 
the damsel exclaimed in a tone which showed 
that she had not by any means recovered her 
composure, “ Pray Mr. Sharpe, if that be your 
name, why haven’t you sent me Mrs. Rudall’s 
bonnet ?” 

“ Simply because I have not received it, and 
have not the honor of knowing such a lady.” 

“ Well, now, that is strange ! and isn’t your 
name Sharpe? and ain’t you an attorney of 
law ? and don’t you live at No. 10, in this here 
street? ” 

“ Precisely so, my good lady ; but you seem 
to know ten times more about me than I do of 
you, or Mrs. Rudall either.” 

She then drew a letter out of her pocket, and 
showing me the address, inquired if I knew the 
writing. I disclaimed all acquaintance with it. 
She returned it to her pocket, without reading 
a line of it, and saying there must be some 
strange mistake, and begging pardon for the 
intrusion, withdrew. Here was new matter for 


32 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


curiosity, but my thoughts still fondly clinging 
at intervals, to the box, I began to penetrate the 
mystery, and without more hesitation, sent for 
a smith to open it. The first object that met 
my eye, was the unlucky bonnet, most carefully 
hedged round with papers and parchments to 
sustain it in its vertical position. I removed it 
with all possible care, and found deposited im- 
mediately beneath it, a letter addressed to my- 
self, in an elegant female hand, on beautiful 
embossed paper, and slightly sealed with wax 
of celestial blue, impressed with Cupid retaining 
a dove by a silken cord. 

“Mrs. Rudall presents her compliments to 
Mr. Gregory Sharpe, and begs permission to 
forward to him all her deeds and papers, being 
involved in a most cruel dispute with her land- 
lord, and having heard from their mutual 
friend, the Rev. Mr. Fairfax, an old college 
acquaintance of Mr. Sharped, the highest testi- 
mony to his character and abilities. Mrs. 
Rudall will trouble Mr. Sharpe to allow some 
of his people to take the bonnet, which she has 
enclosed for safety in the box, to Madame 
Livorne. Mr. Sharpe will please to direct all 
possible care to be taken of the bonnet, and to 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


33 


favor Mrs. Rudall with his opinion on her case, 
as early as possible, her landlord behaving like 
a brute, and being very troublesome ! ” 

“ P. S. Mrs. Rudall will he glad if Madame 
Livorne can send home the bonnet by this day 
week.” 

Here was I in a pretty mess ! the letter had 
no date or address; mere ornamental append- 
ages in the opinion of most fair correspondents. 
More than a fortnight had already gone by. I 
had no certain clue to Madame Livorne, and as 
to the case, and the brute of a landlord, had I 
been Theseus himself, my lovely client had 
shown herself no Ariadne. I turned over the 
papers with a vengeance, but I could make 
nothing of them. I had lost sight of Fairfax 
for above seven years, and never knew more of 
him, than as a casual companion to take wine 
with. In short, I resolved to leave the affair to 
the chance of the tables, after making an hon- 
est and ineffectual attempt to trace the bonnet- 
maker 

Another week elapsed, and to my relief, 
though somewhat also to my surprise, a lady 
drove up to my office door, sending up a tiger 
to beg that I would oblige her by stepping 
2 * 


34 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


down to her carriage. I immediately obeyed; 
and a good - looking lady of some thirty years* 
date, and sweetly smiling a self- introduction, 
announced herself as Mrs. Kudall. 

“ Have you got my bonnet, Mr. Sharpe ?” 

“I have, madam, and several deeds and 
papers that came with it.” 

“ Oh, never mind the deeds and papers, they 
tvill keep till to - morrow ; hut how could you 
be so inconsiderate as to detain my bonnet?” 

“ Really, madam, had you told me where t<s 
send it, I would — ” 

“ Why, I told you to Madame Livorne! ” 

“ But you never told me where she lived.” 

“In St. James’s street, to he sure; everybody 
knows where Madame Livorne lives ; ” laying a 
stress on the word “everybody,” with some- 
thing between a sneer and a tone of incredulity. 
I lisped out some nonsense about my profes- 
sional distance from the world of fashion, and 
offered the amende honorable , by forthwith for- 
warding the bonnet to its destination ; hut this 
she declined, taking the precious charge upon 
herself; and at the same time promising to 
make an appointment to see me on “her case,” 
before she left town. I had the wit to ask hei 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


35 


address, and I called at her hotel three succes- 
sive days without once finding her sufficiently 
at leisure to enter on the subject. I did not call 
again, though she staid a week in London. 
The day before she quitted it, I received an- 
other note from her, which, though not sealed 
with doves or blue wax, I opened with alacrity, 
hut found it only contained an order to deliver 
over the box with its contents to another attor- 
ney, the brother-in-law of Madame Livorne, 
“whom she had luckily found an opportunity 
of putting in possession of all the circum- 
stances of her unfortunate case ! ! ! ” 

I was indebted to the kindness of Miss Gor- 
don, a lady of high connexions, and intimate 
with many members of my own family, for 
an introduction to Lady Carysfort, who, with 
her two sisters, Mrs. "Walsingham and Miss 
St. Clair, were entitled to the accumulations of 
a very large property, amounting to <£80,000. 
The income of their father had for peculiar 
reasons, not necessary to explain, been made 
over to trustees to allow him a certain mainte- 
nance for life, and on his decease to distribute 
the principal with all the accumulations among 
his three daughters, subject, however, to the 


36 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


discharge of his just debts. The father died; 
but the trustees demurred to the immediate dis- 
tribution, on account of certain outstanding 
claims of an indefinite and questionable char- 
acter. My assistance was required in preference 
to that of the family solicitor, to obtain for the 
ladies the money to which they were entitled. 
I bestowed considerable pains on the investiga- 
tion of the case, and eventually succeeded in 
satisfying the trustees that they might safely 
set the alleged creditors at defiance, except as to 
a comparatively trifling sum ; on this they con- 
sented to proceed to a distribution, on being 
indemnified by the cestui que trusts. Having 
thus, at the end of two or three months, com- 
pletely cleared away all difficulties, I explained 
the matter to my clients, that 1 might obtain 
the requisite instructions as to the indemnity. 
I first called upon Miss St. Clair. 

“Indeed, Mr. Sharpe, this is really good 
news! so we shall get all our money at last?” 

“Yes, ma’am; subject to the indemnity.” 

“I don’t quite understand this indemnity 
business, though you have said so much to 
explain it.” 

“ It only amounts to this — if the trustees are 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


37 


compelled to satisfy these creditors, which I am 
convinced they never will be, you must, jointly 
with your sisters, refund as much money as 
they pay on that account.” 

“Well, if that is all, there can he no objec- 
tion to that; hut will this affect my rights 
under my aunt Carisbrook’s will?” 

I began to feel alarm; I had never heard of 
such a will, nor of such a person, and the plain 
course was to say so. 

“ I never heard of the will of Mrs. Carisbrook!” 

“The Countess of Carisbrook,” laying a 
slight emphasis on the word “ Countess,” be- 
queathed to me £500 per annum, so long as 
my father lived.” 

“ Then, ma’am, it will not affect your rights, 
for by your father’s death the annuity is gone 
already ! ” 

“Indeed, Mr. Sharpe, I never thought of 
that! this makes the matter doubly important 
to me; of course I will give the indemnity.” 

And leaving my client to ponder over the 
wonderful discovery, I hastened to call on Mrs. 
Walsingham. She at once comprehended the 
whole affair ; when, unluckily I observed that 
it would be necessary for me to explain it also 


38 


ADVENT UBES OF AN ATTORNEY 


to her husband, the Rev. Mr. Walsingham. 
The lady instantly bridled up, and I saw that 1 
had perpetrated a blunder, but of what nature J 
could not divine. 

“I cannot imagine, Sir, what Mr. Walsing 
ham can have to do in the matter! it is my 
money, not Mr. Walsingham’s ! ” 

“ I believe, Madam, it is not comprised in 
your settlement, and of course, therefore, his 
concurrence is necessary.” 

“ It is not of course, Mr. Gregory Sharpe, nor 
shall I ask Mr. Walsingham’s concurrence in 
any step that I think proper to take.” 

“ I beg pardon for persisting in a point which 
seems irksome to you, but you must be aware 
that in contemplation of law, you and Mr. 
Walsingham have a common interest, and are 
identified.” 

“ Identified, Sir! identified with Mr. Wal- 
singham! a common interest with Mr. Wal- 
singham ! ” raising her voice at every period, 
till at last it almost amounted to a scream. 

“ Well, Madam, perhaps you will oblige me 
by at least speaking to him on the subject.” 

“ I speak to Mr. Walsingham ! speak to him 
on the subject ! or on any subject whatever ! ! ! 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


39 


Indeed, Sir, you must excuse me ; ” rising at 
the same time to ring the bell. 

I doubted whether she was sane ; hut I saw 
clearly that she was at all events frantic witl 
anger ; and to avoid being kicked out, which 
seemed highly probable, I took up my hat and 
made my bow. 

I found Lady Carysfort at home, and Sir 
William with her, as well as Miss St. Clair, 
who had already preceded me, and communi- 
cated my intelligence, I was cordially received; 
and the sister’s communication saved me all 
trouble in explaining, but Lady Carysfort’s 
settlement had not been sent to me with Mrs. 
Walsingham’s. 

“ Your Ladyship will be aware of the neces- 
sity of my ascertaining whether these moneys 
formed any portion of the settlement funds.” 

There was a little hesitation, and a slight 
suffusion of the face, (it had been a beautiful 
one,) as she inquired — 

“ What can that have to do with it, Sir ? Is 
not the money mine ? ” 

“I cannot answer that question precisely 
without seeing the settlement. Sir William 
may take an interest in it, or your children.” 


40 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


“ My children, Mr. Sharpe ! my children ! ” 

The exclamation was uttered with a shriek; 
the poor lady immediately became hysterical; 
Miss St. Clair sobbed audibly ; and Sir Will- 
iam strided across the room, evidently embar- 
rassed. The very lap - dog on the rug displayed 
his fangs, and growled out his indignation. 
Here was another pretty mess that I had made 
of it ! I began to think the whole family crazy ; 
and commissions of lunacy crossed my vision ; 
how could I apologise, unconscious as I was of 
offense ? 

“ Mr. Sharpe ! ” said Sir William sternly, 
and suddenly paused. 

“ Really, Mr. Sharpe,” sobbed out Miss St. 
Clair, and was again silent. 

“ Oh ! Mr. Sharpe, if” — and poor Lady 
Carysfort was mute from utter exhaustion. 

“ May I ring for assistance, Sir William ? ” 

“ Ho, Sir ; I want no witnesses of this un- 
happy scene.” 

“Allow me to open the window, Sir, and then 
to retire ; I will wait on her Ladyship at any 
other time when she feels more composed.” Sir 
William approached the bell himself, and I was 
about to withdraw. 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


41 


“ 1 think, Sir William,” said Miss St. Clair, 
“ Mr. Sharpe’s suggestion, however painful, is 
unavoidable ; ” hut I had had enough of it, and 
expressing hastily my regret at having been the 
unintentional cause of so much distress, I left 
the room, intending to call again the following 
day. I received the following laconic letter, 
however, in less than an hour : 

“ Sir William Carysfort’s compliments to 
Mr. Sharpe, he is requested to send his account 
to Mr. Longhead, the family solicitor, who has 
Sir William’s order to discharge it. Mr. Long- 
head’s familiar acquaintance with the domestic 
circumstances of Sir William, points him out 
as the proper party to bring this affair to a 
conclusion.” 

I soon had the mystery explained by my 
friend Miss Gordon. Mr. and Mrs. Walsing- 
ham had been separated by deed, for fifteen 
years, and the union of Sir William and Lady 
Carysfort was generally understood to he one, 
though they were received in society, that would 
have subjected more plebeian folks to certain 
pain s and penalties. One so ignorant of fashion- 
able scandal as myself, and so little versed in 
b* ' u ddry as never to have heard of the extinct 


42 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


title of Lord Carisbrook, could scarcely be. 
expected to be skilled in family settlements. 
Mr. Longhead managed matters better, and 
wound up the distribution of the father’s estate 
by an amicable suit which lasted fifteen years. 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


48 


CHAPTER IV. 

tt Avi]p yap zprjGTbs aidsladai <piXei — WI. EN AY A. 

I could multiply these anecdotes of earlier 
days, ad infinitum. Sometimes I failed to please 
from excess of zeal; sometimes by supposed 
lack of it, though if my clients could have 
penetrated my bosom, and witnessed my anx- 
ious feelings about professional success, this 
would have been the last fault laid to my 
charge. On other occasions temper led me 
astray. I plead guilty to this accusation; and 
yet it has not unfrequently been the case that I 
have been reproached with coolness and want 
of sympathy in my client’s outraged feelings! 
I have selected the preceding failures, not only 
as curious in themselves, hut as illustrating the 
first maxim which I would impress on a young 
solicitor; he must inform himself, of course, of 


44 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


the merits of his employer’s cause of complaint, 
and judge a little for himself of his employer’s 
merits as well. It will be observed that in all 
the instances I have mentioned, I had but one 
trial ; and to the best of my judgment, I failed 
in every instance to retain my client, not by 
professional unskilfulness or negligence, but 
by offense to my client’s self-complacency. I 
made many friends in the very first years of 
business; and allowing for the partial loss of 
them by death, or bankruptcy, (a sort of com- 
mercial syncope rarely followed by resuscitation) 
I retain them still. These are men with whom 
I have grown up in the affairs of life; men who 
know and understand me, and who are equally 
understood by me. We are familiar with each 
other’s peculiarities, and not less so with each 
other’s value. It is no trifle that will sever a 
connexion between solicitor and client, based 
upon this mutuality of knowledge; hut a man 
who begins business at four -and -twenty has 
but few connexions of this character; he must 
make them for himself; if I may judge from 
my own experience, there is no greater fallacy 
than to conclude that the friends gained at 
school or college, are sufficient to launch you 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


45 


in the sea of life. I had such ephemeral ac- 
quaintance by the hundred; hut they rarely 
stick by one for any practical good: the ma- 
jority of them are themselves embarked in the 
same great adventure of professional specula- 
tion, and consequently have themselves to look 
to first, and little leisure and less inclination to 
assist others who may perchance hereafter 
prove their rivals. Moreover the frankness of 
youth discloses its defects as well as its merits, 
and it is rare indeed that hoys carry their favor- 
able recollections of a school -fellow to the age 
of maturity. It is among those with whom 
business, in its proper sense, brings us first ac- 
quainted, that we must seek to establish a con- 
nexion; and if that connexion is to he perma- 
nent, their tastes, their tempers, and their 
habits, must he as much the subject of our 
study, as the redress of their injuries, or the 
protection of their rights. Such is the self- 
importance of mankind, that it is thought no 
common favor by a senior to allow a young 
man even one opportunity of rendering him- 
self acceptable in his profession. Clients are 
not very ready to intrust themselves to juvenile 
advice; and if by the entreaty or influence of 


46 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


friends, or by any other accident they are in 
duced to do so, not only do they expect most 
deferential gratitude, but they scan with an 
illiberal and almost inquisitorial eye, every 
word and gesture that in men of longer stand- 
ing would be overlooked. Let me not be mis- 
understood. Anything approaching to obse- 
quious servility is disgraceful to a member of a 
liberal profession, however young: any dis- 
position to precipitate familiarity, or any un- 
becoming descent to the low habits of vulgar 
society, because wealthy clients may occasion- 
ally be found in it, is discreditable, and for the 
most part disgusting, even to those who are the 
objects of such unworthy conciliation. A 
solicitor must never forget that he is his client’s 
adviser ; and that the very act of asking advice 
implies an acknowledged superiority of informa- 
tion or of judgment in the party consulted. 

But it is perfectly consistent with necessary 
self-respect to fall in with the feelings, and be 
kindly indulgent even to the prejudices and 
whims of a client ; he is very often more taken 
with this good-natured sympathy than with the 
most brilliant parade of learning, or the most 
triumphant success. In fact, clients come to 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


47 


their solicitor to be consoled, as often as to be 
assisted: and a prompt self- adaptation to their 
oddities, a cheerful chiming -in with their 
fancies, a silent acquiescence in their infirmities 
of pride or temper, will rivet the confidence 
which chance only perhaps, or at best a patron- 
izing spirit, has first induced them to repose. 

To do this skillfully, and to avoid all mal a 
propos allusions, like the gaucheries to which I 
have just confessed, a man must take some little 
trouble to inform himself of his client’s domes- 
tic position. In taking instructions for wills 
or family settlements, this is so obviously 
indispensable, that it cannot he avoided ; hut 
some of the cases that I have above narrated, 
will prove that it is equally requisite on occa- 
sions that scarcely appear to trench at all on the 
domestic relations. Without some insight into 
such matters, we can never judge to what ex- 
tent our advice may not he counteracted by tli* 
paramount influence of a wife, a partner, 01 
even a more remote connexion. It once fell to 
my lot to solicit a bankrupt’s certificate, where 
there were nearly a hundred creditors to he 
canvassed : I found my applications fruitless in 
three cases out of five, till I had enlisted the 


48 


ADVENTURES OE AN ATTORNEY 


wife in my service, and then all was plain sail- 
ing. I have, at the present time, an extensive 
circle of clients, all of whom are more or less 
allied to a gentleman of deserred reputation for 
good sense and a clear head, though hut little 
versed in business. I am rarely consulted by 
one in this circle, upon a mixed question of law 
and prudence, hut I am told, “ I must ask my 
cousin what he thinks of the matter ; ” this 
cousin being somewhat timid withal, I have 
sometimes found my counsel rejected through 
his resistance, and generally to the injury of my 
client. Yet I do not feel it politic to deprecate 
such appeals. I always yield to them as satis- 
factory to my client, however little so to myself. 

It is not difficult to collect this kind of infor- 
mation without appearing to seek it officiously. 
I have now and then pointedly asked a man 
who has seemed half distrustful of my advice, 
if he has no intimate friend that we could take 
into our counsel? whether his wife or his son 
feels an interest in the affair? whether he is on 
such terms with his family as to be sure of their 
approbation, however things might turn out? 
if such an investment, or such a proceeding 
would bring him into unpleasant collision with 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


49 


Lis partners, Lis correspondents, liis customers, 
etc. ; and sucL questions, if put with tact, 
usually elicit sufficient of Lis feelings or his 
apprehensions to enable one to detect his weak 
side, and avoid the risk of unconsciously wound- 
ing it. In all cases of character, such as libels, 
breach of trust, non-performance of contract, 
or composition with creditors, these inquiries 
are due even to the party himself. 


60 


ADVENTURES OE AN ATTORNEY 


CHAPTER V. 

“ Si quid fecimus, certe irati non fecimus.”— IV Tusc., 61. 

Close, but silent observation of the manners 
of a new client, is productive of mucb conven- 
ience in our future intercourse with him. Some 
men lay themselves bare at once, in their impet- 
uous exposure of their injuries and grievances: 
they rush into your office, agitated, excited, and 
breathless with impatience, to find not merely 
an adviser, but a ready listener. Attention 
must be profound, but credulity scarce; never 
believe above half of what an angry client may 
say, but most patiently endure the whole of it. 
Mr. Wilson, a merchant of great respectability, 
one day entered my room, accompanied by his 
senior clerk, who usually attended him as a sort 
of peripatetic day-book. His face betrayed an 
irritated mind; and he seated himself in silence, 
half afraid of trusting himself to speak on the 
subject on which he had called to consult me: 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


51 


after a minute’s pause his clerk came to his 
assistance. 

“ Mr. Wilson has called on you, Mr. Sharpe, 
to mention — ” 

“Be silent, Taylor, I can speak for myself, I 
suppose.” 

“ I beg pardon, Sir, hut I thought — ” 

“What business have you to think? Attend 
to your own affairs, Sir.” 

The clerk was silenced; but Wilson still hesi- 
tated, cleared his throat, and began. “ ’ Tis very 
unpleasant, Mr. Sharpe — ” He paused again, 
again coughed, and once more made a futile 
attempt. “ 9 Tis really painful, Sir, when a gen- 
tleman who has for forty years — ” He could 
not get further. 

“Forty -one years last Michaelmas,” inter- 
posed Mr. Taylor. 

“You are right, Taylor; forty-one years ago, 
did I — ” and then, after another momentary 
pause, “and now to come to this!” I thought 
it must be commercial failure, or something 
nearly as awful ; but I wisely held my peace. 

“Would you believe it, Sir? it is not an hour 
since that villain, that dastardly villain, called 
me a swindler, Sir.” 


52 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


He almost choked in the utterance, and to 
protect myself from a smile, I affected surprise. 
“ You a swindler, Mr. Wilson ! ” 

“He did indeed, Sir: he called me, Sir, a 
Bwindler — a swindler! and on ’Change too!” 

“A dirty swindler,” interposed Taylor. 

“Be silent, or I’ll break your head, block- 
head! he called me a swindler , I tell you, Mr. 
Sharpe.” 

“Dirty,” whispered Taylor again.” 

“Another word, you scoundrel, and you 
shall eat it.” 

“How did it happen, Mr. Wilson?” 

“ I went on ’ Change at four, Sir — ” 

“Ten minutes to four by our clock,” ob- 
served Taylor, with provoking punctuality. 

“I tell you it was four, Sir! Don’t heed that 
booby: at four o’clock exactly I went on 
’Change : it is always my custom.” 

“Except on Saturdays,” interjected Taylor. 

“ I haven’t missed three Saturdays this 
twelvemonth, jackanapes.” 

“Ramsgate excepted,” rejoined Taylor, still 
correcting him. 

“And didn’t I go to Ramsgate for health, 
Sir? Is a man of my years to die on ’Change?” 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


53 


“ You always said you would die at the desk, 
Sir?” 

“And mayn’t I die where I please, Sir?” 

44 But the affair on ’Change, Mr. Wilson. I 
think you had better not interrupt your em- 
ployer, Mr. Taylor.” 

“You are right, Sir; he is always interrupt- 
ing me : where did I leave off, Taylor ? ” 

“ At 4 dirty swindler,’ Sir.” 

“You lie, rascal, you lie! he did not say 
4 dirty : ’ bad enough as ’ twas, he never said 
4 dirty.’ ” 

44 It is not material, Mr. Wilson ; 4 swindler ’ 
is the actionable word.” 

44 It is actionable then ? thank you, Sir ; 
thank you twenty times, Mr. Sharpe : that’s all 
I wanted to know.” 

44 Beg pardon,” began Taylor; 44 you wanted 
to know if 4 cheat ’ and 4 blackguard ’ were ac- 
tionable too.” 

44 Did he use all these coarse epithets, Mr. 
Wilson ? It would not have been exactly legal, 
but I think, in your place, I should have 
knocked him down.” 

But Wilson turned again on his unlucky 
clerk; and I almost feared he was about to 


54 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


begin the knocking - down system before my 
face: he raised his umbrella, and shaking it 
violently, swore he would break every hone in 
his skin, if he presumed to open his lips again, 
and then turned to me. 

“He called me swindler, Sir, and nothing 
else; hut that’s enough for me, you say it is 
actionable, and I’ll proceed, or my name is not 
Wilson ! He disgraced me before all ’Change, 
the infamous villain ; but thank heaven, I did 
not knock him down : bring the action, Sir, 
immediately; retain Scarlett, retain the At- 
torney-General, retain Gurney, Brougham, and 
all of them. I’ll have the whole bar, Sir ; forty- 
one years have I imported from the Baltic, and 
never was called ‘ swindler ’ before ! ” 

“ You forget Lloyd’s in the panic,” observed 
the accurate clerk. 

“I forget nothing, Sir; I never forgot any 
thing in my life, Mr. Make -mischief! ” 

“ And that job about the bark Sally,” again 
said Taylor. 

“Say another word, Sir! say another word, 
that’s all ! say only one more word, Mr. Taylor ! 
only speak again, Mr. Taylor ! one more word, 
Sir, atid — ” 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


55 


Poor "Wilson could say no more himself, and 
gasping for breath, and apparently suffocated 
with rage, he put on his hat, and left me 
abruptly: before he reached the foot of the 
stairs, he reiterated his instructions in a peremp- 
tory tone : “ Immediately, Mr. Sharpe, if you 
please, immediately.” Taylor remained behind, 
apparently unmoved by all the scene, and un- 
conscious of any thing extraordinary. 

“Well, Mr. Taylor, I have my suspicions ; 
pray who used the pretty words ‘ cheat and 
blackguard ? ’ ” 

“ Mr. Wilson.” 

“ I thought as much : and who began the 
controversy ? ” 

“ Mr. Wilson.” 

“ And what was it all about ? ” 

“ Tallow.” 

“ Who sold it ? ” 

“ Mr. Wilson.” 

“ What was the complaint ? } 

“ Hot equal to sample.” 

“ Who was right ? ” 

“ Mr. Wilson.” 

“ Tallows have fallen ? ” 

“ Yes.” 


56 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


“ Then bring Mr. Wilson here again to-mor- 
row.” 

He came accordingly, cool and composed; 
laughed at the affair of the previous day, 
thanked me for my negligence in not retaining 
all the bar, employed me on the tallow -contract 
where he proved to be right, and without litiga- 
tion beyond the service of a writ, he obtained 
nearly all the difference in the value of the 
consignment. 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


57 


CHAPTER VI. 

44 Qul modus tibi fuit frumenti sestimandi ? aut honararii ? ” — Cic. 

A man constantly on the look-out, can hard- 
ly fail of finding something to do. Though my 
success in Boyle’s affair got me very little 
money, it acquired me some credit for capabili- 
ty. A public inquiry of great national impor- 
tance was in progress ; an insulated matter con- 
nected with it, required professional investiga- 
tion, and many solicitors of ten times my 
experience having declined the duty, not only 
because it was unpopular in itself, but attended, 
as was supposed, with some little personal risk, 
I was invited to undertake it. I was so very 
green at this time, that I was unconscious of 
the favorable position in which I stood, and 
the advantage it gave me in fixing my own 
terms, for time pressed; I was to embark 

within four -and -twenty hours of receiving my 
3 * 


58 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


instructions, and as I have noticed, nearly a 
dozen attorneys having already refused the 
office, the government was so driven into a cor- 
ner, that I might have named what compensa- 
tion I pleased ; it would have been promptly 
given. The same insouciance about the position 
of my employers, misled me here. I was sum- 
moned to the Foreign Office. At the end of a 
long apartment, busily occupied in papers from 
which he seemed unwilling to take his eye, sat 
a young man scarcely older than myself, and 
dressed in the extreme of fashion, with whis- 
kers and moustaches of no common dimen- 
sions ; they were at that period much less than 
at present; his heels were decorated with gilt 
spurs of extraordinary length ; his trousers 
braided en militaire , and in fact his whole cos- 
tume partook of the style of military undress; 
It was not Lord Lyndhurst, then Sir J ohn Cop- 
ley, though the very next day I recollect meet- 
ing this learned Solicitor -General, in consulta- 
tion with his yet more learned colleague, in 
precisely the same equipment. It was not till 
long after, that I found out the title of my 
dahdy instructor; on this occasion I knew not 
whether he was lord or commoner, patrician or 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


59 


plebeian, beyond wbat the locality argued. I 
had been standing some five minutes or more, 
when he first looked up, eyeing me with a 
stare compounded of hauteur, scrutiny, and 
surprise. I thought to myself even then, and 
very frequently on similar occasions since, how 
vastly ignorant these great folks are of every- 
thing and everybody, beyond the circle of their 
own little world ! or would it never enter into 
their imaginations to conceive that even the 
most juvenile attorney on the roll would be 
abashed for a single moment by a supercilious 
official stare : we should indeed have labored in 
vain at judge’s chambers, and the master’s 
office, if such petty courtesies of life did not at 
once secure our self-possession. I never meet 
with a rude man, especially one who is conde- 
scendingly rude, but I immediately vote him 
vulgar ; and vulgar men are below the level of 
gentility, let their birth or station be what it 
may, and therefore below mine ! By this little 
syllogism, I can always recall my self-compla- 
cency, whatever may be the offense. I recom- 
mend it strongly to the adoption of my profes- 
sional brethren. 


“ What may be your name, Sir ? ” 


60 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


“ Mr. Gregory Sharpe.” 

“ (. Hem .) You are young, Mr. Sharpe.” 

“ Very young, Sir,” taking a chair, for he had 
not invited me to sit down, so I invited myself. 

“ You are an attorney I believe, Mr. Sharpe ?” 

44 I am. Sir.” 

“ Where were you educated ? ” 

I did not choose to understand him, as I 
thought the catechism verging on the impertin- 
ent, so I replied, with a well-founded conviction 
that it would check his aristocratic condescen- 
sion; “I am a Cambridge man, Sir.” This 
little academical sally changed his tone, as I 
anticipated. 

“ You misunderstand me, Mr. Sharpe, I was 
alluding to your professional education; pray 
draw a little nearer, Sir, (I had been sitting 
near the door :) this is a very important matter, 
and though you have been strongly recom- 
mended to us, 1 did not expect to see so young 
a man. You understand French, of course?” 

“ I do, Sir.” 

“ Have you traveled abroad ? ” 

“Not on the continent.” 

An expression of surprise again crossed his 
features, but it was transient this time. 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


61 


“"Well, Sir, this is a delicate affair; you will 
I am sure act with prudence and caution ; in 
case of unforeseen difficulty, you will address 

yourself to Sir Charles . How soon can 

you start ? ” 

“ In an hour if you wish it.” 

“ Very well; you will receive vour further in- 
structions from the Attorney -General, and you 
will write to us by every post. Good morning. 
Mr. Sharpe,” and I was bowed out accordingly. 
Extraordinary to say, I was afterwards in- 
formed, by good authority too, that I had 
“ made a favorable impression on Lord Cl — ! ” 

The Attorney -General was carefully minute 
in the delivery of his instructions. Sir John 
Copley lounged into the room for five minutes, 
examined me with his glass as though I had 
been a kangaroo, adjusted his black stock 
before the mirror, played about his spurs with 
a spruce jockey -whip elegantly mounted with 
gold, and then lounged out again, with the 
grace and foppery of a French dancing- master ! 
but I suppose this was in keeping with the 
saloons of Carlton House. 

I proceeded on my journey, and succeeded in 
my mission ; it would have been difficult to fail 


62 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


■under the guidance of one so clear and so acute 
as Gifford ; I was absent for five weeks, I was 
only five nights in bed, and received for my 
services exactly one hundred pounds ! ! ! Had 
I known my men better, I might have had five 
times as much. 

But the occasions are rare in which a solici- 
tor can with propriety, or indeed with safety, 
make any ultra -professional stipulations on 
the subject of costs. Where, as in the case I 
nave just mentioned, the duty is out of the or- 
dinary course of business, arduous and respon- 
sible in itself, and of a nature to carry the 
attorney away from his daily clients, it is not 
only competent to him, but usual to provide 
that he shall receive a specific sum for his ser- 
vices; and as he cannot tell whether by his 
absence he may not lose other business of the 
highest and most lucrative kind, he is war- 
ranted in demanding a sum equal to what he 
might have earned on the most liberal scale of 
costs allowed by the courts, or by practice: 
thus, had I been occupied in Parliamentary 
appeals during the five weeks I was abroad, I 
might have gained five guineas a day, and 
adding to this a similar fee for the nights which 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


68 


I steadily devoted to the pressing duty, my re- 
muneration should have amounted to nearly 
three times the sum that I actually received. 
But the extraordinary and urgent nature of the 
duty would have justified me in expecting still 
further inducement, and under the circum- 
stances, £500 would not have been thought an 
unreasonable fee by any man acquainted with 
the profession. Few things are more difficult, 
than to answer the important preliminary in- 
quiry, “ What will the costs he ? 55 Of late 
years my reply has always been plainly, that I 
cannot tell ; but it was long before experience 
convinced me, that this is the only safe answer 
to give. 

Connected with the subject matter of the last 
affair, was another in which I lost my client, 
owing, I believe, to this common error of pre- 
dicting the amount of costs, whereby five times 
out of six we mislead our clients, and cramp 
our own exertions. 

Mr. Bedworth was an oratorical tradesman of 
strong politics, and had made himself conspicu- 
ous by his ill-judged and ostentatious violence 
on many occasions. He became obnoxious to 
the public press, and was libelled and abused 


64 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


as virulently as the fondest lover of notoriety 
could desire : he applied to me for counsel. 

“ I am a very ill-used man, Mr. Sharpe.” 

“I think you are, Sir, hut I thought you 
were the last man to complain of hard usage 
in the good cause.” 

“ That is very true, and I don’t complain ; 
but these detestable papers must be put down. 
It is a foul shame that this licentious ribaldry 
— this tyrannical despotism of the press should 
be tolerated : to a man of less iron nerve than 
myself, such unmerited calumny would be 
fatal; to a man more open to suspicion than 
myself, it would be ruin.” I was not then 
aware that Mr. Bedworth had been twice a 
bankrupt, three times insolvent, and, in a 
word, “ on the town ” for the last five years. 
“ I am bound by principle, Mr. Sharpe, I am 
impelled by the imperious dictates of honor 
and conscience, to stand forward on this oc- 
casion, and vindicate my fellow-countrymen 
from a base thraldom, more cruel than the 
sway of Nero. What will be said of me, what 
will be thought of me,” laying a fond empha- 
sis on the pronoun, “if I flinch from the 
patriotic duty!” 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


65 


My humble opinion was that he would have 
run a better chance of getting credit for com- 
mon sense than he ever did before; hut that 
was no affair of mine; men never consult their 
attorneys to he complimented on their good 
sense. I remained dumb, while the orator pro- 
ceeded. 

“These are fine days, indeed, Mr. Sharpe, 
when a man like myself — and I pretend to be 
nobody, I assure you, though they are pleased 
to compliment the little talent of public speak- 
ing, which nature has blessed me with, but let 
that pass: I am but a humble individual, 
exerting myself in my sphere for the public 
good; I have no higher ambition, I assure 
you, Sir; and if a seat were offered me to- 
morrow, (I was invited to stand for the bor- 
ough where I was horn, at the last election ; 
though on public principle, I was obliged to 
decline, for the deputation could not guaran- 
tee me against expense: but this in confidence, 
Mr. Sharpe — only by the bye — you under- 
stand?) I say, Sir, that if I were seated to-mor- 
row, and offered place the next day, I would 
decline it: I would indeed, Sir, unless consci- 
entiously assured that I could serve my coun- 


66 


ADVENTLRES OF AN ATTORNEY 


try with credit (as indeed some folks say that 
I could he very useful): but I am only a 
humble individual, however kindly my frienda 
may be pleased to think of me; and I repeat, 
that matters are come to a fine pass indeed, 
if such a humble and unpretending man as 
myself cannot take his proper share in the 
public duty without being scurrilously libelled, 
and mercilessly and falsely abused!” 

“ Really, it is too bad, Mr. Bedworth; I am 
not surprised at your temper being a little 
ruffled by it.” 

“ Pardon me, Sir, there you are wrong — 
quite wrong: I have lived too much before 
the world to allow my temper to be ruffled by 
any provocation: no man is fit for public 
life, who allows his temper to be ruffled. I 
never was ruffled in my life, Sir; never!” 

I saw I was in danger, and speedily re- 
treated 

“I beg your pardon, Mr. Bedworth. I 
judged of you by myself; my patience never 
could have brooked so much contumely and 
insult; but I was not born for public life.” 

“True, Mr. Sharpe; very few men are; it 
was long before I discovered my own peculiar 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


67 


fitness for it; but you are losing sight of the 
immediate question.” 

The orator himself had lost sight of it, like 
many other modern orators; hut we must 
humour our clients a little. 

“I have indeed, Mr. Bedworth: you quite 
carried away my feelings, and that I confess, is 
a great fault in one of my profession; hut 
what course do you intend to take ? ” 

He was flattered hy this deferential appeal to 
his superior sagacity. 

“ Certainly, Mr. Sharpe ; I well thought 
over the subject before I called on you ; in fact 
I gave to it all the powers of my mind : under 
your correction, Sir, I think that a criminal 
information is the course.” 

“ That is scarcely usual in cases of private 
libel, unless the libel is intended to provoke a 
challenge.” 

“ Private libel, Mr. Sharpe ! private libel, do 
you call it, where a base and cowardly attack 
is made on a public man ? ” 

I was again in imminent peril. 

“ Doubtless, Sir, it is your public character 
that has induced the libel ; but it is neverthe- 
less a libel peculiarly of a private character, to 


68 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


reflect upon the honesty of a tradesman’s past 
career.” 

“ But all my friends will expect me to take 
the more dignified course on such a serious 
occasion ; so I have determined upon it, if you 
please.” 

“ Very well, Mr. Bedworth ; the first thing 
then is the affidavit. I see you are called a 
“gaol-bird,” a “rogue of enterprise,” and a 
“ gazetted thief ; ” your name is not specified 
certainly, but you have no doubt, I presume, 
that you are the party intended ? ” 

“ None at all, none whatever : ‘ the principal 
speaker’ at this celebrated meeting, could be 
nobody but me, Sir. I was undoubtedly the 
principal speaker there. I moved the first reso- 
lution; I seconded the third; I spoke on the 
fourth ; I opposed the amendment ; and finally, 
I returned thanks to the chair. Indeed, I may 
say that nobody of any consequence took any 
part in the affair, but myself.” 

“ Then it is unquestionable, Mr. Bedworth, 
that you are the ‘ gaol-bird ? ’ ” 

« 1 am, Sir.” 

“ And the 1 rogue of enterprise ? ’ ” 

“ I am, Sir.” 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


69 


u And a ‘ gazetted thief ? 9 ” 

“ I am, Sir. I am the 1 goal - bird/ the 4 rogue 
uf enterprise/ and the 4 gazetted thief : ’ all in 
one — Tiiajwncta in uno , Sir.” 

“ Well then, we must deny it all on oath.” 

“ That is easily done.” 

“ I will prepare the affidavit to-night, if you 
will favor me with a short narrative of the last 
few years of your trading life.” 

“ What has that to do with it?” (in obvious 
alarm). 

“We must go into court with clean hands, 
you know ; and not only deny the charge, hut 
all color and foundation for it.” 

A dead pause followed, for which I was at a 
loss to account, and therefore deemed it prudent 
not to interrupt it. 

“ I am thinking, Mr. Sharpe, that a wise 
man must look a little to himself, even in publio 
affairs. A criminal information is a costly 
article, I fear.” 

“Yes: it costs some money: fees to counsel 
on two motions — office copies of long affidavits 
—fees again on the trial, mount up to some- 
thing.” 

“ What do you suppose ? ” 


70 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


“ A hundred and fifty pounds, at least.” 

“ A hundred and fifty pounds, Sir! a hundred 
and fifty pounds, Mr. Sharpe ! ! ! No informa- 
tion for me on such terms. So because a mail 
is a public man, he may be libelled, scandalized, 
vilified, and can only purchase redress by utter 
ruin ! Oh, how little does the world imagine 
what we must endure who devote ourselves to 
the public good ! ” 

“You may bring an action, Mr. Bedworth.” 

“And get a farthing damages for my pains; 
for a man in my station cannot expect to find 
twelve men together, without a political enemy 
among them ! ” 

“ Then you may indict.” 

“What will that cost me?” 

“A trifle comparatively — fifty or sixty 
pounds.” 

“Do you call that a trifle? ” 

“Yes; for such a luxury as law.” 

“ Well, I don’t know : I am so committed to 
my friends and with my party: I must do 
something. Can’t you say forty pounds ? ” 

“ It may be no more : I can not pledge myself.” 

“ ’ Tis a hard case, a very hard case, a cruel 
case ; but I must stick to principle : so indict” 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


71 


To cut short a long' story, though not want- 
ing in instruction, the hill was preferred six 
times, before it was returned a true bill; the 
press caught scent of the proceedings, and re- 
venged themselves by new libels that piqued 
my wrong-headed client into renewed exertion; 
and finally his costs swelled up to three hun- 
dred and sixty pounds. He then libelled me for 
having deceived him: paid me with a bill at 
twelve months, which was dishonored ; and at 
the end of some three years, and not before, my 
costs were paid, and my public - spirited client 
forever lost to me, not less, however, to my 
satisfaction than to his. 


72 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


CHAPTER VII. 

“ Emit domum- prope dimidio carius, quam scstimabat'* 

Cic. pro Dora. 

One axiom on the question of costs is so 
ooviously true, that we can not avoid surprise at 
our clients so often losing sight of it. If they 
wish only to pay their attorney like a shoe- 
black, they will soon have only shoe-bla k3 for 
their attorneys. Ho man can limit himself as 
to the extent of costs, without cramping his 
exertions to a degree that may prove highly in- 
jurious to his client’s interests. The casualties 
and accidents of litigation are so frequent, and 
sometimes so expensive, that they occasion 
more expenditure than even the whole of the 
proceedings that go on in the accustomed 
course; and if the cause of action is not of 
sufficient importance to warrant costs out of 
the ordinary routine, if necessary, it is wiser 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


73 


and more honest to advise the client to submit 
to his loss. This maxim must he received cum 
gra.no , certainly; hut in cases where character is 
not involved, or rights ultra the subject-matter 
of the litigation, it is invariably true. In ordi- 
nary actions to recover debts, or damages for 
pecuniary injury, the expense resolves itself into 
mere matter of arithmetical calculation; such 
actions, however, form by no means the staple 
commodity in the business of an eminent attor- 
ney. A curious instance of this accidental 
expenditure to a small extent, once occurred to 
myself. 

I was engaged in a cause at the assizes about 
fifty miles from London. It stood first in the 
paper for the day following my arrival. I had 
traveled from town in a post-chaise with two 
of my witnesses, one of whom was a surveyor 
of eminence, who had been subpoenaed to pro- 
duce his report of certain dilapidations. This 
gentleman was one of the convivial corps, 
remarkably corpulent, jolly, and good-humored. 
On arriving at the assize town about seven 
o’clock in the evening, I placed him in the post 
that he had been anxiously coveting for some 
three or four hours previously, at a table en- 
4 


74 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


sconced in a snug box in the coffee-room, with 
bis favorite dish before him, a bottle of the 
best port, and such a fire by his side as one 
views with pleasure in a raw, cold evening in 
March. He had been up with me all the pre- 
ceding night, discussing evidence. I now told 
him to discuss his steak, make himself com- 
fortable, and go to bed, while I attended the 
consultation. Mr. Baron Gurney was my 
counsel ; a man that no flaw in evidence could 
escape. 

“ Has Mr. Gubble been served with a duces 
tecum, Mr. Sharpe ? ” 

“ Yes, Sir.” 

“ Where is his report ? ” 

“ Here, Sir,” {producing it.) 

“ This ! ” said Gurney. “ This can never be 
the original: it is too neat and methodical. 
Where are the memorandums from which he 
prepared it ? ” 

It had quite escaped me to ask for them ; yet 
it was obvious that the non -production of 
them would seem suspicious, and insure the 
rejection of the copy as evidence. I hastily 
returned to Gubble, and found him wrapt in 
full enjoyment: the cloth removed; the bottle 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


75 


but half exhausted ; the feet relieved from the 
incumbrance of tight damp boots, and relaxing 
their swelled tendons in comfortable slippers; 
the legs extended on a second chair, and the 
eyes heedlessly closing over the leading article 
of a daily paper ; while a night - cap was already 
overshadowing his bald temples. 

“ Mr. Gubble ! Mr. Gubble ! ” I exclaimed, 
“ rouse yourself, Mr. Gubble, and come to the 
consultation ! ” 

“Rouse myself! consultation! What do 
you mean ? is the house on fire ? ” 

“You must explain your report. Gurney 
doesn’t understand it.” 

“Report! consultation! I had just settled 
into a doze. Confound your ways of business ! 
I don’t half like them.” 

“ Come, man ; otf with your cap, and on 
with your boots, and come along with me.” 

He slowly raised one leg from the chair, and 
then the other, gasping between each operation ; 
pushed the cap back on his forehead ; groped 
along the table for his snuff-box; and with the 
finger and thumb on the lid, not yet raised, 
growled out, “ Con-sul-ta-tion ! what d’ye 
mean ? ” I repeated my summons, but he was 


76 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


in no hurry; and deliberately exhausting the 
pinch with one hand, while he supplied his 
glass with the other, desired me to ring the bell. 

“ Waiter, send chamb’maid. Con-sul-ta-tion ! 
what has a weary man like me to do with con- 
sultations ? Chamb’maid ! ” 

She entered. 

“ Lit the fire, Betty ? ” 

“ Yes, Sir.” 

“ Bed uppermost, Betty ? ” 

M Yes, Sir.” 

“ Three blankets ? ” 

“ All right, Sir.” 

“ Pan of coals?” 

“Aired it well, Sir.” 

“Live coals at nine, Betty; stir the fire a 
little before, Betty; draw the curtains; mind a 
rush - light ; send waiter.” 

The waiter again appeared. 

“What can I have for supper, waiter?” 

“What you please, Sir.” 

“Something light: devilled gizzard? 

“No, Sir.” 

“ Sausages ? ” 

“ Can’t recommend ’em, Sir.” 

“Oysters?” 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


77 


“Very fine, Sir, and fresh: how would you 
like ’em?” 

“Scalloped — Welsh rabbit to follow — egg 
flip.” 

“When, Sir?” 

“Immediately — in ten minutes: and now for 
your con-sul-ta-tion, Mr. Sharpe.” 

The night-cap w&a easily superseded by the 
hat, hut all the bootmakers in London could 
not have replaced the calf- skin on his expanded 
limbs. lie toddled along in his slippers as well 
as he could, over the slippery, half- frozen 
stones. I would not suffer him to wait to re- 
sume his coat, which he had exchanged for his 
dressing-gown before he began his dinner. 
Groaning, yawning, and cursing all law and 
all lawyers, Gubble entered the chambers, 
staring round in perplexity, and rubbing 
his eyes, as if doubtf ul whether it was not a 
dream. 

“ Mr. Gubble, your memorandums.” 

“ Memorandums ! ” 

“Yes: those from which your report is pre- 
pared.” 

“Report!” 

“Yes; your report. Are you awake, man?” 


78 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY f 


“ Zounds! I scarcely know. I was just go- 
ing to bed.” 

“Go when you like; but we must have the 
memorandums.” 

“ Memorandums ! I’ve got no memoran- 
dums. Sharpe has the report.” 

“ Tut ! man ; I have the report here, in my 
hand, but where is your note -book?” 

“Note-book ! ” 

“Yes; note -book: have you no papers but 
this?” 

“ Why, I don’t know what more you want. 
I have a sort of pocket-book, but it’s of no 
use.” 

“Where is it?” 

“At home.” 

“Where?” 

“At Hackney.” 

“ You must go for it ! ” 

“ Go for it ! ! ! ” 

“ Certainly.” 

“What, to Ilackney ! ! ! ” 

“ To Hackney.” 

“Well, this is a queer business! go back tc 
Hackney, and subpoenaed here ! ” 

“Not at all; you must fetch it.” 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


79 


“ I fetch it ! that’s a good one ! Boots must 
call me early in the morning, I fancy ! ” 

“ Morning, man ! you must he hack by the 
morning ! ” 

“Back by morning! Hackney, to-night! ! ! 
a hundred miles to - night ! ! ! sure you are 
mad ! ” 

“Very likely; ” coolly observed Gurney, “hut 
it must he done.” 

“You’ll not catch me doing it, I can tell you, 
done or undone ; I’ve not half finished my din- 
ner ; and ten minutes more would have found 
me in bed, which I never leave at night, unless 
burnt out.” 

But Mr. Gurney had given me my cue. A 
chaise and four was already at the door ; poor 
Gubble’s great coat and boots safely deposited 
within it, with an extra blanket, and a second 
bottle to keep him warm. We bundled and 
heaved him into the chaise, half by persuasion, 
and half by force, and cautioned the boys not 
to let him Out for the first two stages ; trusting 
to his fears and his good sense to do the rest, 
when he was sufficiently awake to reflect on it. 
We reckoned rightly. He was back by ten the 
next morning; entered the court as we were 


80 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


called on, unsliaved, undressed, but elated with 
the thought of his activity; produced hia 
pocket-book, and saved the cause, though at 
an accidental cost of some five - a ud- twenty 
pounds. The fault, however, was not mine: 
for I had cautioned him by letter, as I always 
do on such occasions, to bring with him every 
scrap of paper that he possessed, and he told 
me that he had done so. 

These accidental “ aggravations of expense,” 
(it is the best term I can invent for them,) are 
not uncommon, after bestowing the utmost care 
that foresight can suggest. A very similar in- 
stance has occurred to my recollection while 
writing the preceding one. It happened to me 
during my clerkship, and is the more instruc- 
tive, because it shows that even the discretion 
of a clerk must sometimes be largely exercised 
on the necessity of incurring extra costs. I 
had been entrusted with the management of a 
very important case, involving the interests of a 
great commercial body, as well as the personal 
character of some of its members holding hi^h 
rank in the city. In this, as in many cases, I 
dare not be more particular. It was deemed of 
such consequence to obtain a verdict, that the 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. ?1 

witness on whose testimony we principally 
relied, had been maintained in seclusion at a 
country place two hundred miles from London, 
for nearly two years, at an expense of £150 per 
annum, till the case was ripe for trial. All this 
time he was vigilantly watched, unknown to 
himself. I dared not bring him to town till the 
day but one before the trial ; but that was time 
enough for mischief ; he threw himself in the 
way of one of the defendants, and the next 
morning he was on his road to Calais. As 
soon as I found that he was missing, I reported 
the matter to Mr. Gurney, who on this occasion 
also, was the leading counsel. It was one of 
the many qualities of this distinguished advo- 
cate, that he was not only in utrumque , but in 
quodcunque jparatus. I was almost desperate 
with disappointment; but while he felt the 
embarrassment, he at once suggested the rem- 
edy. The fellow -clerk of the rascal that had 
absconded was almost equally familiar with the 
facts we wished to prove, but, as we feared, still 
less trustworthy. 

“ It’s bad enough, Mr. Sharpe, bad enough, 
certainly; but it can’t be helped; subpoena 
White.” 

4* 


82 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


Away I started to subpoena Mr. White ; it 
was still early in the day. This youug man 
was engaged in the counting-house of some 
merchants in the city ; people in large business. 
I rang the bell, and was answered by one of 
the clerks. 44 Is Mr. White within ? ” “I will 
inquire, Sir.” I waited nearly five minutes; 
and thinking that so simple a question might 
have received a more speedy answer, I de- 
termined to follow into the counting-house. It 
was divided by railing into compounds. I 
walked up to the railing of the nearest desk. 
44 Is Mr. White within ? ” 

“Ho, Sir.” 

“ When do you expect him ? ” 

“ It is very uncertain.” 

44 Where does he live ? ” 

44 At Walworth.” 

44 The street ? ” 

44 1 don’t know, Sir.” 

During this parley I kept my eyes about me, 
and observed that several of the clerks bent 
their heads over their desks, while two or three 
were obviously retaining laughter with some 
difficulty. I affected to be considering what I 
should do, while in reality I was counting the 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


83 


clerks, and comparing their number with the 
hats which I saw hung up against the wall. 
There was a hat too many, and a vacant desk. 

“ So ho ! ” thought I to myself, “ the seat is 
still warm ; ” for I was an old sportsman, while 
yet a very young man ; “ the game can’t be 
very far off,” and then without more ceremony, 
I opened the door of the compound, and seating 
myself on the vacant stool, said I would leave 
a note for him. I found the keys in the lock, 
— an additional proof that my suspicions were 
correct. Under pretense of looking for some 
paper, on which to write my note, I opened the 
desk; found in it, after tumbling over some 
loose papers, a letter with his address at "Wal- 
worth; and then, saying that I had changed 
my mind as to writing, and would call again 
in the evening, I quitted the house. I lost no 
time in sending off a messenger express to 
Dover, with a copy of the subpoena, and a des- 
cription of his person, while I started myself 
for Walworth, and arrived just ten minutes 
after he had left it in a chaise for Dartford ! 
His servant or his wife, whichever it might be, 
thinking him safely off, honestly confessed that 
he had absconded to avoid service of the sub- 


84 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


poena, having long expected it; he was actually 
in the counting-house, when I had called there : 
the clerk, who opened the door to me, detected 
my business by a piece of red tape hanging out 
of my pocket ; and whilst I was catechising the 
others as to his residence, he had escaped by 
another door, run home to get another hat and 
bolted. But I was prepared : I had post-horses 
waiting for me a hundred yards off; got first 
to Dartford ; subpoenaed him as he drove into 
the yard ; brought him back in the same chaise ; 
and by his evidence, obtained a verdict the next 
day, but certainly at no slight additional costs, 
in the shape of traveling expenses ! 

The casualties of litigation are so numerous 
and diversified, that it is utterly impossible, 
unless in the simplest matter, to foretell the ex- 
penses. The recent reforms in pleading, by 
compelling a disclosure of the real defense, have 
reduced, but not superseded the speculative 
guesses of the attorney : indeed, in one respect, 
they have added to the difficulty ; because, by 
success on one issue, and failure on another, a 
debtor and creditor account of costs is estab- 
lished, the balance of which may, by possibility, 
be against a plaintiff, though he has been sue- 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


85 


cessful on the general merits. It is a very 
pleasant thing, no doubt, to have to tell youi 
client, “ Oh yes, Sir ! we have succeeded for 
you; hut instead of receiving costs, you will 
have forty or fifty pounds to pay to your oppon- 
ent.” Independently of this, a hundred acci- 
dents may occur, all tending to multiply costs. 
A witness may he ill, and the record must he 
withdrawn ; a bill for discovery may he advised ; 
an injunction may he obtained hy the defendant; 
a cross action may he brought; indispensable 
witnesses may have made a trip to Naples or 
New York, and must be examined on interrog- 
atories; in a word, so many deviations may, 
and generally do occur, that no prudent solici- 
tor will ever insure his client against the 
amount of costs, unless in the most general, 
and therefore the most unsatisfactory way. 
The right answer is, “ If costs are an object, 
settle your quarrel out of court, as best you 
may : ” and to clients themselves, I may ob- 
serve, that if an attorney is disposed to be dis- 
honest, no skill can avail them against over- 
charges; for his charges may be individually 
reasonable, and even low, but so needlessly 
frequent, as to make the sum total of his bill 


86 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


nothing less than fraudulent, though none but 
a brother - attorney can detect the fraud. It is 
often the case with mean and illiberal clients, 
that they submit their attorney’s bill to another 
practitioner, unknown to him. Every solicitor 
should be prepared for S this ; for I have known 
too many instances, where to curry favor with 
a new acquaintance, or to acquire on easy terms 
a credit for moderation, an attorney has pro- 
nounced severe and mischievous judgment on 
the costs of his respectable neighbor, though all 
in the profession would rightly consign the 
critic himself to the shades of Newgate, as an 
incorrigible thief. 

How my unprofessional readers will stare (if 
I chance to find any), when I remark that one 
of the most difficult problems that an attorney 
has to solve, is to what extent he may properly 
make any charge at all! Yet I rejoice to say, 
for it is to the credit of my profession, that with 
the respectable members of it, this is frequently 
a preplexing question. It occurs in many 
ways ; the most common is this : — an old and 
valuable client becomes acquainted with a case 
of great hardship, and perhaps oppression, 
involving legal points ; he calls on his attorney, 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


87 


and avowedly on benevolent impulse, asks his 
opinion; the opinion involves, as a matter of 
course, inquiry into fact and evidence, for very 
few clients understand the value of the one, or 
detail the other with accuracy ; the sufferer is 
sent to explain his grievance : it admits of re- 
dress; the client liberally offers to indemnify 
against disbursements ; the attorney can do no 
less than waive profits ; and thus a suit is begun 
gratuitously, partly from charitable feeling, yet 
more from anxiety to oblige a client, and time 
and labor are soon bestowed to a most incon- 
venient extent. In a simple case like this, there 
is no help for it : matters must proceed to an 
end in the usual routine, and compensation 
must be found in conscience ; but this simple 
case admits of many variations, and then the 
difficulty begins. The client may go no further 
than just asking an opinion; the opinion is, on 
the whole, favorable ; the injured pauper is not 
poor enough to claim a pauper’s privilege ; if 
you desert him, you offend your client, who, 
ignorant of the expense, as well as trouble that 
the offer implies, expects you will spontaneously 
take up the case; partial success follows; a 
wrong-headed jury, — and nineteen out of 


88 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


twenty are wrong-headed, — give ten pounds 
damages for a broken leg, when they w T ould 
not have their own gouty toes trod upon 
for fifty; some thirty more are recovered for 
taxed costs, and (the case has occurred to my- 
self) after receiving these “party and party” 
allowances, you remain more than twenty out 
of pocket. You may gain a verdict for your 
pauper client, and swallow up all the fruits of 
his triumph, even to repay extra costs out of 
pocket ! Reason and equity would say in such 
a case, that the attorney is excusable for pocket- 
ing the damages, as well as the costs ; yet 
character and interest forbid it. It is a hard 
case: but the attorney must relinquish all, 
though successful ; and to retain the character 
of a gentleman, must abandon, not only re- 
muneration, but bare indemnity. The most 
annoying of all causes that a man can under- 
take, is where he recovers damages, moderate 
or temperate damages, as they are called, that 
is to say, fifty pounds for the loss of an 
eye, or thirty for the crippling of a limb, 
for a humble client thrust upon him by a 
wealthy patron, or adopted out of Christian 
charity! How often have I known jurymen 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


89 


vaunt with self-complacency, of their justice, 
when some poor devil has obtained from this 
same justice, just enough to pay his surgeon’s 
bill, after having been disabled for life by a 
drunken coachman, or a larking dandy ; while 
the attorney, who has brought the action from 
mere compassion, has had the pleasure of 
hearing himself branded by counsel, as a wretch 
prowling about the streets for quarrels, and 
obtains for his benevolence, taxed costs that 
will just pay for coach -hire and a blue hag to 
take his papers home ! I lament to add that I 
never heard of counsel relinquishing fees for a 
successful pauper ; though I have known many 
in which the attorney of that pauper has been 
left to pay such fees out of his own pocket. 

There are other instances, where even among 
the wealthy, good feeling prohibits an attorney 
from asking costs. As a general rule, it may 
be laid down that they never should be taken 
from a charity purse. The retainer may be re- 
fused : but if accepted, nothing can be claimed, 
but money actually expended. Sometimes, 
however, yet greater liberality should be shown. 
It once fell to my lot to be consulted by a poor 
clergyman, who enjoyed a small benefice in the 


90 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


country. In the plenitude of Christian good- 
nature, he had become security to the extent of 
£1000, for the good conduct of a worthless rela- 
tive, whose only chance of reform appeared to 
be in accepting a situation of some pecuniary 
trust, which his friends had procured for him. 
I never knew a case in which such good offices 
worked out the object for which they were in- 
tended; and so it happened here: the rascal 
became possessed of a considerable sum, far ex- 
ceeding the penalty of the bond, and absconded. 
My client was immediately required to indem- 
nify the employers. He was conscious of no 
defense, and utterly destitute of all means of 
satisfying the demand, except by mortgaging 
his living. His self-reproaches, for forgetting 
what was due to his wife and infant family, in 
entering into such a bond, not unmingled with 
painful misgivings whether he had acted hon- 
estly even toward his opponents, in giving an 
indemnity that he found he could not satisfy, 
were enough to touch a miser's heart. I offer- 
ed my assistance: but here again the good man 
hesitated, because “he could not pay me.” I 
re- assured him on this point, by declining pay- 
ment, on the principle that professional aid 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


91 


was all I had it in my power to give in toe 
many cases where I ought to he more libera!, 
and therefore I made a compromise with my 
conscience at times, by sacrificing six- and - 
eightpence, and debiting charity with the 
amount. He smiled at my quaint morality in 
book-keeping, and allowed me to investigate 
his case: the rather, because there was too 
much reason to fear that my trouble would 
only extend to a little negotiation for indul- 
gence. 1 was too much interested in his case to 
be niggardly in my exertions, and by dint of 
close inquiry, I learned that the money which 
the man had embezzled, was private money, 
not belonging to his employers collectively, but 
entrusted to his charge by one of them on his 
separate account. I had extreme difficulty in 
obtaining evidence of this; but eventually I 
succeeded, and defeated the claim, or rather 
compromised it on terms of abandoning all 
costs. They amounted to nearly a hundred 
pounds, Meanwhile, my reverend friend be- 
came exposed to further difficulty, by having 
the young family of a brother thrown upon his 
hands, by that brother’s premature decease. 
Could a solicitor, under such circumstances, 


92 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


call on him for costs? or ought he to have 
withheld his aid ? I cannot answer these ques- 
tions for others; but I know many of my pro- 
fession who would have followed the same 
course as myself. Many similar instances 
could be given ; but I have said enough on the 
subject. I will only add, that it is prudent to re- 
linquish costs altogether, or to charge the usual 
and reasonable fees. I never once knew a client 
that gave one credit for a compromise. 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


93 


CHAPTER VIII. 


“Quo virtus, quo ferat error?”— Hon. 

* Our doubts are traitors, 

And make us lose the good we oft might win 
By fearing to attempt.”— Measure for Measure. 

The “ timid ” form a very unmanageable 
class of clients. I think it was Dr. Johnson, 
who compared plaintiff and defendant to two 
men ducking their heads in a bucket, and dar- 
ing each other to remain longest under water ; 
but there are some who are so shy of the im- 
mersion, that the very sight of the bucket 
makes them faint. They may with more jus- 
tice, be compared to a dentist’s patient : a rack- 
ing tooth -ache, of which he knows neither the 
beginning nor the end, drives him to the sur- 
geon ; but the bare mention of “ extracting ” 
procures temporary ease — the sight of the 
instrument completes the cure. “ I feel better 
already, Sir : the tooth may be serviceable still : 


94 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


I’ll call again to-morrow.” The twitch re- 
turns; but he prefers pain to mutilation, and 
endures till the nerve grows callous. In like 
manner, I have often found clients, especially 
after one severe operation, submit to wrong, 
injury, and fraud of no trifling amount in the 
annual rests in their ledger, rather than avail 
themselves of their solicitor’s aid, to establish a 
protecting principle in their dealings, or make 
an example of an habitual depredator. As my 
practice extended I met many characters of this 
ciass: they try one’s patience to the utmost. 
One morning I was intent on a voluminous 
abstract studiously prepared, so as to envelope 
in mystery the title it professed to expose. I 
had already perused it twice to no purpose ; and 
beginning to doubt whether my own stupidity, 
or the conveyancer’s knavery, was the cause of 
all the obscurity, I had manfully resolved on a 
third perusal, while the subject was fresh ou 
my mind ; when in walked Messrs. Simkin and 
Soft, extensive traders in Cheapside. 

“ This is Mr. Soft, my partner, Mr. Sharpe : 
my own name is Simkin.” 

I bowed, handed them chairs, poked the fire, 
and asked their business. 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


95 


“ You see, Mr. Sharpe,” began Simkin, “ we 
are in an unpleasant affair; and your friends, 
Messrs. Wilson and Co., having recommended 
us to you, we wish to explain that — ” 

“ Now, my dear Simkin, you should begin at 
the beginning,” interrupted Soft ; “ Mr. Simkin 
should have told you, Sir, that for many years 
past we have carried on the business of — ” 
“Excuse me, Soft: we did not begin that 
business till 1811 ; hut I will take it up from 
the very commencement. I will begin at the 
beginning, as Soft says. In the year 1808, we 
were engaged in an adventure — ” 

“Indeed, Simkin, you are wrong; I was not 
in the firm in 1808 ; and besides, that adventure 
had nothing to do with it ! ” 

“ I am not going to speak about the wools, 
Soft.” 

“ Well, you know best, Simkin ; but unless 
you tell how it has all happened, I am sure Mi 
Sharpe will not understand our case : but tell 
it your own way.” 

“ Thank ye, Soft ; you’re always a kind 
fellow. So, Mr. Sharpe, as I was saying, in 
the year 1808, we first became acquainted with 
Shycocke.” 


96 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


“ No, indeed, Simkin : I must interrupt you 
there ; for you are quite out. Shyeoeke arrived 
at Bristol, in the Twin Brothers, as supercargo, 
in June, 1809.” 

“ I believe you’re right, Soft: you always 
are. Yes: Shyeoeke arrived in 1809. with 
letters of credit from Puncheon, Lees, and Co.” 

“ They were the shippers, Simkin.” 

“ They were : do you remember the captain’s 
name? ” 

“ I think it was Hobbs.” 

“ Surely not : wasn’t it Dobson ? ’ 

“ Hobbs or Dobbs, I’m pretty sure.” 

I saw no end to this, and took the liberty of 
edging in a word. 

“ Pray, gentleman, has Mr. Dobbs, or Hobbs, 
anything to do with your present embarrass- 
ment?” 

“ Embarrassment, Mr. Sharpe ! ” exclaimed 
Soft. 

“Did you say embarrassed?” asked Sim- 
kin. 

“ We are by no means embarrassed, Sir ! ” 
indignantly cried both together. 

“You mistake me; I thought you spoke of 
some unpleasant affair.” 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


97 


“ Yes,” said Simkin : “ and a very unpleasant 
affair it is : isn’t it, Soft ? ” 

“ It is indeed; and one we are by no means 
used to — ” answered the partner. 

“ Pray, what is it, gentlemen ? ” and this plain 
question, rather abruptly put, surprised them 
into a plain answer. 

“ An attorney’s letter,” replied Simkin, in a 
most lugubrious tone. 

“ It is indeed,” hysterically added Soft; “ it 
is an attorney’s letter, begging your pardon, 
Mr. Sharpe.” 

“ Well, gentlemen, there is no great harm in 
that: here is a score of them (pointing to my 
desk), and you might eat them for any harm 
they would do you. Let me read it.” 

Mr. Simkin drew out his pocket-book, with 
as much solemnity as I have seen a reverend 
antiquarian produce a venerable Hebrew manu- 
script, and unfolded its various clasps, with the 
same gravity that the said antiquarian would 
6lowly unroll the interminable vellum from its 
silver rollers; while poor Soft eyed the pro- 
ceeding with a fixedness of gaze, that argued 
intense horror of the contents. I could scarcely 
forbear laughing outright at the awful delibera- 
6 


98 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


tion with which the letter of Messrs. Snappit 
and Smart was submitted to my inspection. 

“ Read it, Mr. Sharpe,” said Simkin, with 
impressive dignity. 

“ Only read it, Sir,” echoed Soft, with trem- 
bling eagerness. 

I obeyed. 

“ Manchester , January 21, 1827. 

Gentlemen, 

We are peremptorily instructed by our 
respectable clients, Messrs. Lomax and Co., of 
this place, to demand payment of the sum of 
£173. 5 s. 2 d., being the invoice price of the 
cottons consigned to your house at New York, 
in the month of May, 1825 ; and to inform you 
that unless the same is forthwith paid, together 
with 65. 8 d. for the costs of the application, we 
shall proceed against you, without further 
notice. 

We are, Gentlemen, 

Your obedient servants, 

Snappit & Smart.” 

“£173. 55. 2c?., Mr. Sharpe!” 

“ Together with six - and - eightpence, Mr 
Sharpe!!” 


rN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


99 


“ Forthwith, Sir ! what do you say to that f n 
“ And without further notice, too ! ” half 
sobbed out Soft. 

“ Well but, gentlemen, 1 suppose you pur- 
chased the cottons ? ” 

“ Did we buy them, Soft? ” 

“ I think not indeed, my dear Simpkin.” 

“ Then who did ? were they bought at all ? ” 
“ There it is, Mr. Sharpe ! there it is ! ” 

“ There is where the shoe pinches, Sir ! ” 

“ It’s all along of that rascal Shycocke. I 
was coming to him, when Soft interrupted me.” 
“Ay : ’tis all his doing, Simkin.” 

I foresaw another duet; but beginning to 
understand my new friends, I perceived that 
the only way to cut short the matter, was to 
cross-examine them for myself; and soon 
arrived at the simple fact, that this Shycocke 
was a great rogue, that had been carying on 
trade on his own account, but in the name of 
his employers, who had placed their foreign 
establishment at New York entirely under his 
care. But here was the difficulty: they had 
rashly confided to this agent powers so ample, 
that it was scarcely possible to contend that 
the goods had been supplied on his credit, and 


100 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


not their own ; while to recognize his agency 
on this occasion, by adopting a contract that 
he was not empowered to make, exposed them 
to similar demands, the extent of which could 
not even he guessed at. In this dilemma, I of 
course advised the bolder course of resisting 
the first application, even at the risk of costs. 

“ Well, Mr. Sharpe, I understand all you 
say; heigh-ho! I understand, — diddled either 
way ; but I can’t help thinking it best to pay 
the money.” 

“ Sad job ; but first loss is the least ! ” sorrow- 
fully ejaculated Soft. 

“ Very true, Mr. Soft, if you can be sure that 
it is the last as well as the first.” 

“ What did you say the costs would be, Sir ? ” 
“ I told you I did not know, Mr. Simkin : 
we must examine evidence in America.” 

“ Evidence in America ! oh dear, oh dear ! ” 
“I think, Soft, you had better go to Hew 
York. Won’t that do, Mr. Sharpe ? ” 

“ Me go to Hew York! bless me, Simkin, 
what do you mean ? ” 

“ It would be a pleasant trip, Mr. Soft.” 

“ Pleasant trip, Sir! la, Sir! do you know 
what it would cost ? ” 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


101 


“ Can’t you do without evidence, Mr. 
Sharpe ? ” (coaxingly .) 

“ It is just possible that we might contrive 
by a tishing hill in Chancery — ” 

“ Chancery ! ” groaned Simkin. 

“ Chancery ! ” screamed Soft. “ Throw us 
into Chancery ! Heaven have mercy on us ! We 
had better pay the money, and have done with 
it, Simkin.” 

“ I’d rather pay it ten times over,” replied his 
partner, “ than get my head into Chancery. 
IIow can you talk so* Mr. Sharpe ? but I see 
you were only joking.” 

“ Indeed I never joke on serious business; ” 
a great lie by the way, for which my conscience 
pricked me; for I always joke where I can: 
but this was clearly no fitting occasion, as I 
seemed as certain of losing my clients, as they 
were of losing their money ; so I put a grave 
face on the matter, and continued, 

“ It does not cost much to file a hill in Chan- 
cery, and compel an answer.” 

“You’ll not make me believe that , Sir, very 
easily; there’s my poor brother’s orphans have 
been in Chancery these twelve years, poor 
things! and all their little fortune as safely 


102 


ArVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


under lock and key as if buried in their father’s 
grave.” 

“And I too could tell a dismal story like 
that, couldn’t I, Simkin? Oh dear me, I 
little thought how this unhappy business 
would end ! my poor dear children ! we 
shall all get into Chancery, I see that, if we 
don’t pay the money, Simkin.” 

“But surely, Mr. Sharpe, you can tell us 
what the Chancery will cost, as you say it is 
not much?” 

“ Oh, dear Mr. Simian, good Mr. Simkin, 
do pay the money, and think no more about it? ” 
“Nonsense, Soft! for shame, Soft! do act 
like a man! What will it cost, Mr. Sharpe, 
this Chancery business ? ” 

“ The bill would be very short, but as their 
answer might be long, and you would, of 
course, have to pay their costs too, it may — ” 
“ Pay their costs too ! ” 

“ What ! Messrs. Snappit’s and Smart’s 
costs! Then I’ve done with it, Mr. Sharpe; 
I’ve done with it; that’s flat: I’ll run all 
risks ; I’ll see them hanged first ! ” 

“Yes, we’ll run all risks, Mr. Sharpe: 
thank ye, Simkin, you are always the wisest 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 10H 

man, I know. Very sorry we have taken up 
so much of your time, Sir. What do we 
owe you, Sir? Pray let’s go, Simkin; let’s go at 
once. You’ll send in your little bill, Mr, Sharpe, 
for this morning’s advice. Good day, Sir.” 

And away went the silly pair, each afraid 
lest a longer stay should convince the other 
of his folly. They paid the demand; in the 
course of the year they settled a similar claim 
for nearly two hundred more ; and in the year 
following they liquidated divers other debts 
of Mr. Shycocke, amounting in the whole to 
about <£1,500; all of which might have been 
saved by resolute defiance in limine . 

This same moral cowardice displays itself in 
a hundred ways, even in men otherwise clear- 
headed and strong-minded: a paroxysm of 
fear at the mention of the Court of Chancery 
does not much surprise one. That unlucky 
tribunal labors under so much obloquy both 
merited and unmerited, that facilis decensus 
Avemi is retorted on you by every client to 
whom you speak of equity; and not without 
reason. I once came into a suit that had 
survived three solicitors, two generations of 
clients, three chancellors, (Lord Eldon inter 


104 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 

alios ) and more than half the masters. It 
fairly promised an annuity to my grandchil- 
dren; but like a conscientious fool as I was, 
I compromised it in the second year of my 
acquaintance with its very peculiar merits, and 
saved £2,000 out of the fire for somebody, 
though many a year passed over before we 
could discover who the “ somebody ” was ! 
The Court of Chancery, however, though bad 
enough in all conscience, is not the only bug- 
bear that frightens clients. 

“ I have been swindled, Mr. Sharpe, out of 
five hundred pounds ! ” exclaimed my friend 
Wyatt, on entering my office, 

“ I am extremely sorry to hear it : how has 
it happened ? ” 

“ The old story — a friend wanted money — 
r.ot convenient to lend it — my name would do 
— gave him my acceptance — proved a greater 
ass than myself — a Jew broker has discounted 
it by bolting.” 

“A bad case, certainty. Have you any clue 
to the rascal’s retreat ? ’ ” 

“Don’t know — might be found perhaps — 
what then? Find him at one end of the 
world, and the bill at the other ! ” 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


105 


“ Come, come, you jump too fast and too 
far. What date is the bill ? 

“ Six months.” 

“Well, you have a chance yet; your credit 
is good; but even with you, a bill for <£500 
at six months will wander about some time 
before it finds a home. When did it hap- 
pen ? ” 

“Yesterday.” 

“Then give me the names, and I’ll find the 
paper.” 

“ Can’t get it back, if you do.” 

“Hot without paying a trifle.” 

“ IIow will you manage ? ” 

“ Leave that to me.” 

He was content to do so, and furnished me 
with all particulars. I happened at that time 
to have a friend in the Bench. Friends of this 
sort are a great nuisance ; but there are times 
when they can do good service. I soon learned 
through him, the names of the whole gang 
with which the broker was connected; and 
was not long in discovering the holder of the 
bill — an innocent, bona fide holder, of course. 
A negotiation was commenced, but £200 was 
the least he would take, and exactly four 


106 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


times more than I was disposed to give. My 
client called on me the following morning. 

“ So, Sharpe, you have found the hill ? ” 

« Yes, for £200.” 

“ Pay it with all my heart.” 

“ You shall do no such thing.” 

“ Can’t help myself — must pay — no choice.” 

“You must show fight.” 

“Show fiddlesticks — neither fight nor law 
for me — rather lose the £500, and £500 to the 
tail of that ! ” 

“ You called yourself ar ass yesterday; you’ll 
prove yourself the prince of asses to-day, if 
you pay the money.” 

“What can I do?” 

“ I have already taken out a summons for 
the fellow to account for his possession of the 
bill.” 

“ Summons ! — magistrate ! — Bow Street ! — 
police report ! — Times paper ! — explanations ! 
— advertisements! No, no, no! I’ll see you 
and the bill at Old Nick, ere I run this gaunt- 
let: pay the money, and have done wuth it. 
Here’s the check ! ” ( sitting down to write it.) 

I reasoned and expostulated, but in vain. I 
felt the question of credit was something, 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


107 


though he was not in trade ; but two hundred 
pounds was far too large a sacrifice for mere 
credit’s sake with him. I shook his resolu- 
tion for a minute, by setting one fear against 
another. 

“What will Mrs. Wyatt say to such folly?” 

“Yes — sure enough — something in that; but 
( after a pause) she shan’t know it.” 

“Why, you have told her already, haven’t 
you?” 

“Not exactly — rather afraid — least said soon- 
est mended — ought to tell her though — sure to 
find it out — but those infernal police reports — 
she’ll go mad, that’s certain — no peace for a 
twelvemonth. I’ll pay the money, so take it.” 

I had no alternative; but I resolved to do 
my best. I summoned the man in defiance 
of my client; and had he had courage enough 
to face the matter, I should have got back the 
bill for nothing, or at least have impounded 
it safely. He got off better than he deserved, 
for just before the hour of attendance, I re- 
ceived an anonymous letter, offering to return 
the bill for a hundred. I replied that I would 
give fifty; and at the police-office door, the 
bill was put into one hand, while I gave a 


108 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


£50 note with the other! My hare - hearted 
client was a liberal one, however, though odd- 
tempered : he pressed on me a fee of the same 
amount, and because I peremptorily declined 
it, quarrelled with me for a year! I cared 
little, for this, knowing that his good sense 
would eventually bring him round; as it did; 
when he honestly told me that he had taken 
the next dilemma in which he found himself, 
to our mutual friend, Mr. Lowestoff, because 
I was “ too proud to he paid for my trouble ! ” 
Some men show their timidity in a far more 
reprehensible form, and instead of honestly 
trusting the attorney whom they affect to con- 
sult, are laying traps for him, to measure his 
skill or his integrity. I was often exposed to 
this low-minded cunning in my earlier days, 
though now that I feel firmly seated in my 
chair of state, I should be sorely tempted to 
kick such fellows out of my office. On the 
whole, I incline to recommend this as the wisest 
course to pursue at all times, however scantily 
filled our attendance -hooks may he. A trader 
in a very extensive business called on me on one 
occasion, telling me that he wished me to pre- 
pare a new agreement with one of his commis- 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


109 


sion - travelers, and he produced the old one, as 
my instructions. He was not an habitual client, 
but one of those sneaking fellows that if they 
meet you by accident, always have a legal point 
on which to catechize you, without the fear of 
fees before their eyes. They pin you up in the 
corner of a drawing-room, or edge in their chair 
next to yours at the dinner -table, to tell a long 
cock-and-bull story about a stray parcel; or 
sometimes they cross you in the street, seize you 
by the button, and incarcerate you in the door- 
way of a pastry-cook, till they have run 
through the pedigree of their great grand- 
mothers, as preliminary to a “just tell me what 
you think ” of their right to a lapsed legacy of 
fifty pounds, “ supposed to have been left by 
the fourth cousin of an uncle’s aunt, who died six 
months ago.” My client belonged to this class. 

“ If you see no objection to this agreement, 
Mr. Sharpe, I want a new one on the same 
model; as you see the time here mentioned is 
expired.” 

“I see no objection to it (hastily glancing it 
over) : it is somewhat vaguely expressed, but if 
you have understood each other so long, it is 
best not to alter it.” 


110 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


“ It’s all right then, in point of law ? ” 

“ Yes : except that it is unstamped ; but that 
is of little consequence : when do you want the 
new draft? Before I prepare it, it would be 
better to see your traveller on the subject.” 

“Oh, he is out of town, and I am in no 
hurry ! If you will just sign your name to 
this old agreement, as being free from any legal 
objection, that will satisfy him, and save 
trouble.” 

I thought the request an odd one; but hav- 
ing had frequent experience of the paltry econ- 
omy of the man, I concluded that his only 
object was to save expense, by inducing his 
traveller to abide by my opinion, without the 
formal discussion and settling of a new instru- 
ment. I therefore wrote on the agreement a 
sort of certificate, that I saw no legal objection 
to the agreement, and he took it away with 
him. The next day explained the whole trans- 
action. Two attorneys called on me, nearly at 
the same time. We were all well acquainted. 
Mr. Stubbs entered first. 

“ On my word, Sharpe, I am much obliged 
to you.” 

“ What’s the matter ? ” 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


Ill 


“ For telling Mr. Crewkman that I am a con- 
summate fool.” 

“ Telling him you are a fool ! I told him no 
such thing : what have you to do with Crewk- 
man ? ” and before the question could he an- 
swered, in rushed Mr. Hobbs. 

“ Sharpe, I’ve a crow to pick with you ! 
Stubbs, glad you are here; I am sure you’ll 
not countenance such dirty practice ! ” 

“Hoity-toity, my good friends! what ails 
you both ? ” 

“You are a pretty fellow to ask, after trying 
to cheat my poor client out of his cause and his 
senses also ! ” 

“ "What, is Crewkman your client, too ? ” 

“ My client ! no indeed : nor did I dream 
that he was yours, till yesterday.” 

“ Then he is your client, Sharpe ? ” said 
Stubbs. “Well, I am ready enough to hand 
over his papers, as soon as you get the order: 
but I must say it is shabby w r ork to rob one of 
his clients by such low artifice as this.” 

I was all amazement. “ Let us talk without 
prejudice, gentlemen, and we shall understand 
each other : at present, it is clear we are all in 
the dark.” 


112 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


The certificate signed by me, the day before, 
was produced by Stubbs. I admitted it to be 
mine, and explained the circumstances under 
which I gave it. It seems that Crewkman and 
his traveller were involved in litigation, on this 
very agreement: the one contended that it 
amounted to a partnership, and claimed an 
account of profits : Crewkman denied the part- 
nership. Stubbs had advised him that he 
was wrong, and recommended a compromise. 
Distrusting Stubbs, he had come to ask my 
opinion, without ever calling my attention to 
the real point at issue. He took the opinion to 
Stubbs to challenge him with ignorance ; and 
then to his traveller, to impress on him the 
hopelessness of his suit, and work him into a 
compromise. I do not now recollect how the 
matter terminated. 

I have often known this underhanded dealing 
practiced by men who think themselves wiser 
than their solicitors; and in most cases, they 
bring their own punishment, in getting con- 
flicting advice, by submitting one state of facts 
to one attorney, and another to another; un- 
conscious themselves of the importance of 
minute accuracy, they report these contradic- 


IN SEARCH ©F PRACTICE. 


118 


tory opinions to tlieir friends, as edifying illus- 
trations of the “ glorious uncertainty of the 
law ! ” There is, however, another less frequent, 
hut more galling way of testing their adviser’s 
judgment; more galling, because it implies a 
doubt of his honesty of purpose. I have had 
a client consulting me very gravely on his case, 
and after I had given it the closest attention, 
and reluctantly told him that I thought him 
wrong, ha has fairly turned on me, with the 
laughing avowal that he had deceived m:, and 
reversed his position, being the intended plain- 
tiff, and not defendant, in the matter : that he 
wanted to be sure that he was right, and had 
therefore misrepresented his position in the 
dispute ! A cautious man will not always, nor 
often suspect, but he wui always Oe prepared 
againts traps laid for him by his own client. 

The mention of this habit of appealing from 
one solicitor to another, without fairly appris- 
ing either party of the fact, recalls to my mind 
an affair of earlier days that may teach my read- 
ers to avoid, as much as possible, another class 
of clients whom I shall designate as the indis- 
creet. In a certain sense, all clients except 
those who come to you on “ preventive duty,” 


114 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 

to be protected against anticipated risk, are 
indiscreet; and it is to repair their indiscre- 
tion, that your aid is wanted: but there are 
pome instances, in which it is difficult for an 
attorney, at least a very young one, to avoid 
involving himself in the folly of his client; any 
man, however, might innocently have got into 
the following scrape, whether professional or 
noU 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


116 


CHAPTER IX. 

“ Quomodo ergo id quod fit cseco casu et volubilitate fortuna 
prsesentiri potest?”— Cic. de Div. 


While my thoughts were yet hut little occu- 
pied with the cares of business (and alas ! I was 
full thirty ere business had much to do with 
them), I used to ramble about at parties and 
soirees, in the certainty of finding amusement, 
if I did not find clients. On one of these oc- 
casions, I fell into company with a very agree- 
able lady of four -and -twenty. I knew that 
she was engaged, and shortly to be married : 
hence love had nothing to do with it; hut I 
played the agreeable so delightfully, that the 
fair creature, knowing I was a “ lawyer,” as 
they are all pleased to call us, told me she 
wanted to consult me about her affairs. It is 
of little use preaching about it : I am going to 
read a very instructive lesson; and yet I am 


116 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


quite certain that there is not one of my readers 
to be found, under seven or eight -and- twenty, 
who will not as assuredly as I did, fall into the 
same error, if he has the opportunity. She 
declared that she was serious ; it is quite im- 
possible to advise while one is waltzing — the 
head is too giddy, to say nothing of other en- 
chantments ; so I invited her to call on me the 
following day. She came, chaperoned by the 
lady at whose house she was staying, and who 
was as young and yet prettier than herself. I 
must give her name a nom de guerre , and I will 
call her Mrs. Chartres. My fair client’s object 
was bona fide to ask me her own position in 
respect of some proceedings in an amicable suit, 
in which all her family were involved, but 
w T hich as they supposed, was conducted by the 
family solicitor with somewhat less activity 
than was desirable. I think she called on me 
twice after this. It is very many years ago, 
and I cannot exactly remember how many 
times we met; but it was sufficiently often to 
make me familiar with the nature and position 
of her property. About six weeks after our 
first interview, I received a very singular note 
from her. She resided ten miles from town, 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


117 


and she wrote to request that I would ride over 
to see her the following day at three o’clock, to 
advise her on urgent business. There was so far 
nothing extraordinary ; but the note concluded 
with saying, that her mother’s house was so 
full of friends, that she could not hope to talk 
with me there, with any convenience, hut she 
would call on me at the inn in the town ! I 
hesitated long before I could decide on the 
proper course to take ; but as the word “ urgent ” 
was twice underlined, it seemed cruel to refuse ; 
and notwithstanding she had imposed confi- 
dence on me, I determined to call cn our 
mutual friend, Mrs. Chartres, and consult her. 
I showed her the letter. “ You need not enter- 
tain any doubt on the case,” said Mrs. Char- 
tres : “ I know that her lover has had a quarrel 
with the mother, and the marriage has been 
put off; she wants you to be the mediator.” 
“Very well; but I think her lover would 
scarcely like this stolen interview at an inn, 
nevertheless; will you* go with me?” ‘‘With 
all my heart ; ” and we ordered our horses : both 
her horses and mine were at livery at the same 
stables. “ We have a few friends to dine with 
us at five; will you join us at dinner?” I 


118 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 

accepted her invitation. Thinking it might 
occasion some tattling below stairs, at our 
friend’s expense, Mrs. Chartres would not take 
her groom, though he had always attended us 
in our rides, which were not unfrequent. When 
we arrived at the inn a t * * * * *, the young 
lady was not there. We waited nearly an hour; 
and began to feel uneasy, when the damsel 
appeared. 

“ .Bless me, Sophia ! what a figure you have 
made of yourself!” exclaimed Mrs. Chartres. 
“ One would think you had got all your ward- 
robe on your back ! ” 

“ So I have, except a trunk that I have had 
smuggled here ! ” 

“ What is it all about ! where are you going! ” 
“ I am going off! ” 

“ Where ? when ? ” 

“ To Yorkshire — to-night! ” 

“Not with me, I presume, Miss Danvers ? ” 
I asked, half laughing, but really uneasy. 

“No, Mr. Sharpe; not all the way; but I do 
want you to put me in the mail 

“ And why did not Mr. Douglas meet you 
himself? ” 


“ Because he is watched at every step.” 


IN SEARCH OE PRACTICE. 


119 


“Was this then, the ‘urgent’ affair you 
wanted me to advise in ? ” 

“ Not altogether ; Mr. Douglas wished you 
to prepare something for me in the way of 
settlement, to take with me, for we shall he 
married the day after to-morrow.” 

“ Your mother of course knows nothin sr of 
this frolic. I hope you have left a letter for 
her?” 

“No, I have not; she went yesterday to my 
aunt’s, at Croydon.” 

Both Mrs. Chartres and I exerted all our 
powers to divert her from her purpose, hut in 
vain : she had ordered a chaise, and it was at 
the door ; we continued arguing with her for 
about an hour, and the most we could obtain 
from her was to leave a letter for her mother, 
which nearly another hour was spent in pre- 
paring . the next point was, whether it was 
right to accompany her to the coach ! It was 
already six o’clock, and the spring not far ad- 
vanced ; consequently it was growing dark, 
and would be quite so by the time she reached 
London. I could not allow Mrs. Chartres to 
ride home, a distance of ten miles, unattended; 
but the good-natured girl put an end to the 


120 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 

difficulty, by saying she would accompany us 
in the chaise. I therefore sent our horses hack 
to their stables by the ostler of the inn, with a 
verbal message, which the blockhead forgot. 
We arrived just in time to secure the only re- 
maining place inside the York mail, and giving 
Miss Danvers a few hurried lines to Mr. Doug- 
las, to suggest the sort of prenuptial agreement 
it would be right to make, we took our leave 
of her. Some accidents impeded their marriage 
for a short time, but it soon took place, and I 
believe it proved a happy one. 

Now, however, came the fun of the affair. 
So intent had both of us been on the discussion 
with Miss Danvers, and so absorbed by the 
interest we felt in her strange position, that 
Mrs. Chartres and I had alike forgotten the 
dinner, the party, the time, and every thing 
else. Meanwhile a curious scene was acting in 
Bryanstone Square. Four o’clock came. 

“ Where is your mistress, Anne? ” 

“ She is gone out for a ride, Sir.” 

“ When did she say she would return ? ” 

“ She only told me in good time to dress, 
Sir.” 


“ Who was with her ? ” 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 121 

“ Mr. Sharpe, Sir.” 

Half- past four ! 

“ Is Mrs. Chartres come home ? ” 

“No, Sir.” 

“Very careless ! did John go with her ? ” 

“No, Sir.” 

“ Very strange ! ” 

Five o’clock, and no Mrs. Chartres! Half- 
past five! There were Mrs. Langston, and 
Miss Langston, and Mr. Henderson, and the 
two Miss Dixons, and the Rev. Doctor, and 
half-a-dozen besides; all simpering and all 
wondering, and all divided between curiosity 
and hunger, with sundry good-natured sug- 
gestions, and explanations, and sympathizing 
consolations; some would wait half- an -hour 
longer, and some would order up dinner; for 
“ dear Mrs. Chartres would be so distressed ; ” 
while the poor husband smiled and giggled 
it off; and Mr. Chetwyn, her father, who 
began to suspect it was no jest at all, “ didn’t 
like such jesting, and rambling about after 
dark ; and dinner spoilt while that brainless 
young Sharpe was leading his daughter scamp- 
ering about the country, etc., etc. : if I were 
you, Tom, I would lock her up whenever that 
6 


122 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


scape -grace turned his horse’s head this way.” 
This was giving so pointed a turn to the affair, 
that by way of closing the discussion Chartres 
ordered up the dinner, and handed down the 
ladies ; hut matters began to be uncomfortable, 
and Chartres soon made them worse by sud- 
denly exclaiming, as the clock struck seven : 

“I see how it is ! they have had an acci- 
dent : and running to the bell, ordered John 
to go instantly to the stables and inquire if 
the horses had been sent home, while the other 
servant brought a chaise to the door to be 
promptly ready to go in search of the sufferers. 

“It must be so! dear Mr. Chartres, now 
don’t distress yourself, pray don’t.” 

“ That we should never have thought of this 
sooner ! ” 

“Poor dear Mrs. Chartres, what she must 
suffer ! ” 

“ Well, I hope she has not broken her leg ! ” 

“Now be composed, Mr. Chartres, all will 
be well ! ” 

“ Had you not better send for Mr. Brodie, 
immediately ? ” 

And half a hundred similar speeches were 
simultaneously poured forth by all their sweet 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE.^ 


123 


voices united ; Chartres striding from his chair 
to the window, and hack to his chair, and 
Chetwyn sitting silent, till he groaned out, 
“ That’s the only word of sense that’s said ; 
send for Brodie, directly.” In the midst of 
the hubbub re-entered John. 

“ Are the horses come hack ? ” thundered out 
Chartres. 

“Yes, Sir.” 

“Oh la! and is she killed? where is she 
hurt ? get her bed ready, and call Anne,” etc., 
etc., etc., while John stood mute, hut with a 
sort of half - repressed grin on his face, that 
at once dispelled immediate alarm about her 
safety. 

“ Are the horses hurt ?” asked Chartres. 

“No, Sir.” 

“Who brought them ?” 

“The ostler at ***** *” 

“Any message ?” 

“No, Sir.” 

“Did you ask the man ?” 

“Yes, Sir.’ 

“ Don’t stand twisting your mouth that way, 
blockhead, with your ‘yes’ and ‘no !’ Tell ns 
what passed.” 


Hi ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 

“ The man said, Sir, as how mistress and 
Mr. Sharpe — ” (pausing.) 

4 ; Speak out, Sir;” shouted Chartres. 

44 Gone off, Sir, in a Dartford chaise.” 

44 Impossible ! ” groaned Chetwyn. 

44 Oh la ! ” 44 oh dear ! 44 how shocking ! ” 

44 how very odd!” ‘‘how sad an event!” 
screamed Miss Langston, and Mrs. Langston, 
and the two Miss Dixons, in every variety of 
intonation. 

44 Awfully wicked ! ” observed the Rev. Doc- 
tor, deliberately exhausting a glass of port. 

44 Order four horses to the chaise at the door ! 
Henderson, you’ll accompany me — Dover 
Road! do you hear there?” and so saying 
Chartres left the room ; mounted the flight of 
stairs in a hop, step, and jump ; hurried on a 
great coat ; and was equipped for Calais in less 
than ten minutes. Meanwhile the ladies hysteri- 
cised, and fainted, and ran this way and the 
other way, as ladies will do on such occasions ; 
and the ladies’ maids chattered, and comforted, 
and cloaked as fast as they could ; while harts- 
horn, and sal volatile, and burnt feathers, were 
poured and scattered here and there, and the 
whole house one Babel of confusion; not one 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


125 


of the party dreaming of going, in spite of 
preparation for it, while a chance remained 
of gleaning more food for curiosity and scan- 
dal. 

The hubbub had scarcely at all subsided, when 
a loud rap at the door announced a visitor. 
“!Not at home!” exclaimed Mr. Chetwyn, to 
prevent intrusion at such an unseasonable hour : 
hut the mandate was unheeded in the general 
confusion below stairs. The ladies hearing 
footsteps ascending resumed their chairs, with 
as much calmness as they could muster. The 
door opened ; and in walked Mrs. Chartres, 
more radiant with smiles than ever, though not 
a little surprised at the strange chaos which 
seemed to reign ; while I followed close behind 
her, as cheerful and composed as if nothing had 
occurred to disturb me. 

“ Very extraordinary, Mrs. Chartres ! very 
strange conduct this, Mr. Sharpe ! ” said her 
husband sternly. 

“ Where the devil have you been ? ” cried her 
father. 

“ Dear Mrs. Chartres ! ” exclaimed all the 
ladies at once. 

“Chartres,” I said, “your wife is tired: 


126 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


take her up stairs, and she’ll give you a good 
hour’s laugh : ” for though this denouement had 
never once occurred to either of us during the 
whole of the busy scene in which we had been 
engaged, I saw, by a glance of the eye, what it 
all meant. 

“And now, Mr. Chetwyn, order us some 
dinner if you please; for we have not tasted 
any to-day.” 

Manifold indeed were the inquiries, and 
ardent the curiosity — all unbonneted and un- 
shawled again, but we could not gratify them : 
though when Chartres re-entered the room ten 
minutes after, and shook me by the hand most 
cordially, laughing all the time, and loudly 
commending my chivalry, the fair creatures 
almost forgot their disappointment that there 
was no elopement after all, in their unfeigned 
delight at the returning spirit of domestic 
harmony and love. 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


127 


CHAPTER X. 

Janonem imerei compeilat Jupiter ultro." — Ms. X. 

Indiscretion is a failing not limited to youth 
or sex : nor is it by any means identified with 
careless indilference about every-day matters of 
pounds, shillings, and pence. Mr. Bumby was 
an early client of mine, for whom I felt consid- 
erable regard. Accident led me one day to his 
shop to purchase some trifling article of jewel- 
ery. I have a natural disposition to indulge in 
erood - humored gossip with strangers, where 
circumstances pave the way ; and occasional 
purchases, accompanied with friendly chit-chat 
across the counter, laid the foundation for a 
professional connexion between us, of no very 
important extent, yet profitable to me and satis- 
factory to him. Shortly after I became ac- 
quainted with him, Mr. Bumby retired from 


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ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


business, having scraped together a sum ot 
twelve thousand pounds, which he considered 
amply sufficient provision for the evening of 
life, having no family hut his wife and a 
married daughter comparatively independent of 
him. This daughter however, had two chil- 
dren ; and her husband was somewhat specu- 
lative and scheming in business. Bumby was 
a bhint, honest fellow, turned of seventy, and 
on the whole, acute as well as sensible. His 
wife was ±ail twenty years his junior, good- 
looking for forty-eight, and, I believe, sincerely 
attached to him ; yet her attachment was by 
no means of that high caste that contemplated 
self-immolation on his' tomb : she obviously 
reckoned on a long survivorship. One of the 
first duties that Bumby proposed to discharge 
on relinquishing trade, was to make his will; 
and he called on me with his wife to give the 
usual instructions. 

“You see, Sharpe, I’ve nothing else to do; 
so I may as well set my house in order.” 

“ Well, Mr. Bumby, that’s a good ’un ! as 
if I hadn’t always kept it tidy as need be, 
though I say it that shouldn’t say it ! House 
in order, truly ! it’s never been out of order 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


129 


these three -and -twenty years — shop, counter, 
master, and all ! ” 

“ Mind your own business, Betty, and don’t 
speak till you are asked. I can talk to Mr. 
Sharpe without your help. I want to make 
my will, Sharpe.” 

“ There now, Bumby, that’s coming to the 
point ! we want to make the will, Mr. Sharpe.” 

“I shall be happy to attend to your instruc- 
tions, Sir : I believe I know generally what 
your property is ? ” 

“ Let’s see; there’s the consols, £7850, and 
the reduced, £2300, and the India bonds, and 
the—” 

“ Don’t forget the policy, Bumby ! you 
remember the policy ? ” 

“ Deuce take the policy and you too! you 
are always harping about the policy. I believe 
you’d see me hanged to-morrow to get hold of 
that eternal policy.” 

“You needn’t snub me that way, Bumby,” 
whimpered his loving wife. 

“ Well, Sir ; ” interposing, as I always do 
to escape a scene, “there are the India bonds 
and the policy.” 

“And the shop and dwelling-house in 

6 * 


130 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 

Crooked lane,” added Mrs. Bumby, but in a 
tone somewhat subdued, though still sharp and 
prompt. 

“ What’s that to you, Betty ? I shall do as 
I please with the shop and dwelling-house in 
Crooked lane.” 

“ To be sure, Bumby, no doubt : but you 
always said that Crooked lane would do for 
me, you know.” 

“ I presume no part of the property is in 
settlement ? ” 

“ The more the pity ! ” softly ejaculated 
Betty. 

“ Say another word,” rejoined Bumby 
angrily, “ I’ll make no will at all ! ” 

“And how would the policy go then , Mr. 
Sharpe ? ” retorted his wife. 

“ Before I had time to answer, Bumby took 
out his pocket-book, and slowly fixing his 
spectacles, read from it his instructions, to the 
effect that his widow was to enjoy the interest 
of the whole for her life, and then it was to 
go to their daughter. 

“But here’s where it is, Sharpe ; Betty and 
I, you see, can’t agree about the way to give 
it to our girl,; that wild chap her husband, 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


131 


may die or be banged, and then the fool would 
marry again, and her children starve in the 
workhouse; so I should like to tie it all up 
for them, out of harm’s way : hut Betty is for 
giving it her outright ! ” 

“ And so I would, Bumhy ; if the girl don’t 
marry again, she’ll do worse.” 

“ Ay, ay : she takes sorely after her mother.” 

Mrs. Bumby knit her brows, pursed up her 
mouth, fanned herself with her pocket-hand- 
kerchief, and pendulated her body to and fro 
in her chair with that awful dignity, which in 
ladies of a certain age and considerable 
diameter, argues preparation for an explosion 
of no ordinary force. I hurried to the rescue 
of her unlucky spouse. 

“I’ll take a note of your instructions, Mr. 
Bumby, and — ” 

“ You’ll please to hear me too, I hope, Mr. 
Sharpe ? ” 

“ Certainly Ma’am : but lest I should for- 
get-” 

“ You’ll please not to forget the policy, Mr. 
Sharpe ? ” 

“ He’s not likely while you are by, Betty.” 

“ I was speaking to Mr. Sharpe, Mr. 


132 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


Bumby! I suppose I may do that , Mr. Bumby J 
Though Sally do take after me, Sir, I’m glad 
she takes after nobody worse ! but ’tain’t every 
child as knows her own father, Mr. Sharpe! 
no wonder Sail don’t ! Mr. Bumby, you’re a 
wicked man, you are ! you are a vile, wicked, 
old man ! you don’t deserve to have a young 
woman like me for a wife ! me, who has been 
the kindest, fondest wife as ever loved a man 
old enough to be her father! you wicked 
wretch ! you unkind, cruel monster ! ” and she 
blubbered outright. 

“Well, well, Betty: I meant no harm; so 
say no more about it,” cried Bumby; and 
ashamed of her, and more than half ashamed of 
himself too, he bustled up, pinched her chin by 
way of coaxing, and took her off, telling me he 
would call again in a day or two. I fancied 
that there was something more in this little 
conjugal quarrel than met the ear, and was 
rather curious to get at the bottom of it. 
Bumby’s visit the next day explained it. 

“Now, Mr. Sharpe; now I can speak com- 
fortably when we’re alone, you know. Betty’s 
a good soul, but a little up now and then, like 
a bottle of soda-water, all flutter, splutter, and 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


133 


fiz ; but loes one good after a glass too much : 
so let her have the policy, Sharpe, as she’s set 
her heart on it; but she shan’t have the rest, 
except on my terms. You understand, Sharpe ? 
’Twas all my eye about Sally : only we didn’t 
like to tell you. The girl don’t want the 
money till her mother dies — in good business 
— only two children — can do well enough 
without : but I know where the land lies ; my 
young woman wants to marry again when I’m 
gone, Sharpe ; and I’ve no mind she should : 
or she’ll squander it all away while you wind 
up a watch. So tie it up close as you can ; 
and when she dies, let her do what she will 
with it.” 

This was not unreasonable had Mrs. Bumby 
been somewhat younger, but I suspected it 
would prove very unpalatable to her ; and as it 
was obviously impossible to keep the intended 
testamentary arrangements from her, I appre- 
hended it might lead to a domestic discussion, 
not very favorable to the comfort of my vener- 
able client. I ventured to throw out a hint of 
this. 

“ I think I know my own mind best, Sharpe ! 
all you have to do is to put it in black and white.” 


134 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


‘ ‘ It is far from my wish to exceed my pro- 
vince, but considering Mrs. Bumby’s advanced 
age, a second marriage seems not very probable. ,, 

“ She is a young woman, Sharpe ; a very 
young woman, and ’tis as much as I can do to 
keep her quiet ; what she will do when I am 
gone, Heaven knows! marry you, perhaps! 
but you shan’t clutch my money if you do.” 

I now perceived that jealousy was at the 
bottom of this extreme caution, and jealousy is 
impracticable at any age, so I gave way; 
merely observing that I felt certain that his 
wife’s remarkable fondness for him (“ fondness ” 
is the only appeasing word on such occasions,) 
precluded all idea of a new engagement. This 
pleased him, and he left me in good humor. 
In the course of the same morning his wife 
repeated her visit. 

“ So my dear Bumby has been with you 
again, Mr. Sharpe ? ” 

“ He has, Ma’am.” 

“ And what more has he told you ? ” 

“ You are to have the policy ! ” 

“ He is a dear good man when left to h im self 
— and about Sally ? ” 

“ He is quite resolute there.” 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


135 


“ Then I am to be tied up after all ! ” 
(sharply.) 

“ You have committed yourself, Mrs. Bumby, 
but it does not matter, for your husband has 
told me that the question was about yourself, 
and not your daughter.” 

“ To be sure it is, Sir, and a very important 
question too ! a woman at my age does not 
like to he treated like a hoarding -school miss, 
who would spend her money in sugar plums.” 

“At your age, Mrs. Bumby! why you are 
young enough to marry again, and have a 
family to bring up ! ” 

“ La ! Mr. Sharpe, (simpering,) how can you 
say so? I declare I never dreamt of such a 
thing : hut if you really think so, and I have 
been taken for Sally ’tis true, no wonder you 
agree with Bumby about the will.” 

“ Indeed I rather opposed him till I saw that 
he suspected me of a lurking interest in the 
matter.” 

“That can hardly he, Sir, (bridling up a 
little, hut still simpering sweetly,) it is time 
enough indeed, to talk of such things! hut 
good morning, Mr. Sharpe ; I must have a 
little more explanation with Bumby ! ” 


136 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


The next day I paid the penalty of my folly : 
they had their explanation truly, and arrived at 
a very good understanding by throwing all the 
blame on me! They again called together. 
Mr. Bumby had mounted my stairs with all 
the vigor and speed of a man determined to 
find immediate vent for indomitable wrath: 
he was corpulent, short -legged, and a little 
asthmatic, so that the unwonted exertion, 
coupled with much excitement, brought on by 
the said explanation, almost deprived him of 
the power of utterance, by the time he had 
opened my office -door. 

“ I’m come, Sharpe, to tell you that” — (ugh! 
ugh ! ugh ! tearing his great coat hastily asun- 
der,) “to tell you, Sir,” — (ugh! ugh! — the 
cough was redoubled, and Mrs. Bumby, who 
had seated herself with the dignified pendula- 
tion I have before described, untied and finally 
removed his neckcloth) “ to tell you to youi 
impudent face ” — (ugh ! ugh ! ugh ! He could 
not get on, and I rose to offer him a glass ot 
water, but he motioned it away with his hand 
so abruptly, that all the contents of the glas? 
were spilt on that abdominal projection in 
which most men exult after passing their grand 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


137 


climacteric, which his tender wife, in her anxi- 
ety to procure fair play for his depressed 
diaphragm, had exposed to view in all its 
natural rotundity, by unbuttoning not only 
his vest, hut the waist -band of the lower habili- 
ments! I can’t guess, indeed, how far her 
tenderness might have carried her, had not the 
sudden ablution operated like a charm, and 
instantly restored the faculty of speech in all 
its eloquence. 

“ Confound the jade! would ye drown me 
before I have made my will, Betty ? ” 

“No, dear Bumby, nor after either; but you 
were choking: be composed, Bumby!” 

“ Now, then, Mr. Bumby, what is your com- 
plaint of me ? ” 

“ Complaint ! what right have you to make 
love to my wife before she is a widow ? and she 
won’t have you then , I can tell you, Sir.” 

“ Not so old, neither, Sir,” added the lady, 
“though you were pleased to talk to Mr. B. 
of my advanced age ! ” 

“ Talk to my wife of a young family, Sir ! 
I’m old myself, or I would teach you better 
manners, puppy ! ” 

“ Though some folks have taken me for my 


138 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


daughter, Mr. Sharpe, I have thought of no 
such nonsense for more than a year gone by, 
and I don’t mean to think of it again, I assuie 
you, Sir!” 

“Nay, nay, Betty, speak the truth; you 
think of nothing else but that and the policy : 
speak truth, and shame the devil, if you can’t 
shame Mr. Impudence, there ! ” 

This was a diversion in my favor, for Betty 
blushed, if her natural crimson did not belie 
her, and at all events was silenced; while 
Bumhy chuckled over his repartee, buttoned 
up his unmentionables, and stared at me with 
such a ludicrous mixture of self-complacency, 
defiance, and doubt in his face, that I could not 
help myself, and indulged in a hearty laugh at 
them both. A laugh when cordial, is infectious, 
and Bumhy laughed too, nor could his wife 
wholly resist it. 

“ So you have been comparing notes, and 
like a couple of fools retailing to each other all 
your conversations with me ? I heartily wish 
Mrs. Bumby may never have another husband, 
or another child as long as she lives, nor you 
another wife to cool your stomach, and save you 
from choking. But you shall agree on your 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


139 


instructions before I make your will.” And so 
they finally settled for themselves ; the will was 
never made. Mrs. Bumhy died about three 
years after, and the old gentleman soon followed 
her, intestate ! but he continued to be my client 
till he died. 


140 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


CHAPTER XI. 


“ I hope well of to-morrow.”— A ntony and Cleopatba. 

Happen what will, an attorney must never 
lose his temper or his self-possession with a 
client : they often try one shamefully, but we 
must put up with all, save perhaps in some 
extreme and peculiar cases. If a client chal- 
lenge you with losing his cause, or advising 
him rashly to embark in litigation, you may 
be sure, if your conscience honestly acquits 
you, that this is preliminary to a quarrel 
about your bill, and possibly to a taxation of 
it, and then show as much spirit as you please. 
I have always armed myself against such 
assaults with clients that I at all suspected, by 
addressing a letter to them previous to the suit, 
in which, after stating the facts of the case, 
as they have reported them, I havs recorded 
my opinion on the course that under the oir- 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


141 


cum stances they ought to take. It is very 
satisfactory to he able to appeal afterwards to 
such a testimony to your own straight-forward 
proceedings. After all, however, clients are 
entitled to be captious, impatient, and unrea- 
sonable; it is foolish as well as unjust on their 
part, for they often weary and alienate the sym- 
pathy of their attorney, and thus render him 
less energetic in their service; they sometimes 
bewilder him, and thereby make him uncertain 
and indecisive ; nor will any client of liberal 
feelings forget that there may chance to be 
twenty other matters going forward in the 
office, every one of which may be as urgent 
and as important as his own : but be the client 
what he may, the attorney must humor and 
indulge him, except in one point; a nervous 
and fidgety client should never be allowed to 
be present when his cause is tried ; the chances 
are ten to one that he ruins the best case ever 
laid before a jury, unless his counsel is endowed 
with more than common firmness : he will 
never “ let well alone,” but persevere in prompt- 
ing his attorney and his counsel, till he makes 
the jury share the distrust that he feels him- 
self. 


142 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


A beginner has one advantage which he 
never enjoys in after life, if he acquires any 
business at all; he is allowed the reputation 
of being able and willing to devote all his time 
to a client’s interest. It is very true that this 
reasonable expectation is formed by nineteen 
clients out of twenty, whether their solicitor 
is old or young ; a new man, or established 
in credit and connexion ; but it is certainly a 
powerful inducement to come to a juvenile 
attorney, provided he is clever, honest, and all 
that, that he has nothing else to do. Hence 
it often arises that in cases of long acumu- 
lating confusion, where correspondence, at tirst 
friendly and explanatory, and then expostula- 
tory, and finally hostile and menacing, has 
brought the parties to that happy position in 
which neither knows what the other means, 
or when the squabble began, or where it is to 
end, they seek out a solicitor not so much to 
advise on the quid agendum , as to unravel the 
web which conflicting interests, aided by ill- 
temper, have woven around them; this duty 
peculiarly falls to the lot of a young man who 
“ has nothing else to do ! ” Yet it is in busi- 
ness of this description that I have most 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


143 


frequently found clients of all others the most 
difficult to guide ; I can find no happier term 
for them than “ the class despondent.” In the 
majority of cases despondency springs more 
from temper than from a conviction of insuper- 
able difficulty. One disappointment, of slight 
moment, and only on a collateral issue, is 
speedily followed by a second, possibly by a 
third; though the merits of the dispute are 
still untouched, a sanguine or anxious man 
attaches to every interlocutory matter an im- 
portance that does not belong to it ; he makes 
up his mind that all must turn upon that 
single question, and if decided against him 
he becomes abattu . . We have no English word 
exactly to convey the meaning, unless it is the 
expressive slang, that he is “ floored.” When 
two or three defeats of this kind have followed 
each other rapidly, however trifling they may 
be in themselves, and the result most probably 
of some pettifoggery of a grasping opponent, 
practiced to obtain a dirty profit of three or 
four pounds in costs by way of penalty for an 
oversight or blunder, the client becomes dis- 
heartened: he is “an unlucky man” — “noth- 
ing ever succeeds with him,” and his con- 


144 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


fidence in his solicitor is imperceptibly shaken, 
though he would be at a loss himself to say 
why. It is principally in proceedings in equity 
or bankruptcy that cases of this description 
occur ; partly because in modern times a 
practice of doubtful propriety, though un- 
doubted convenience, has crept up of disposing 
of a cause by a sidewind motion ; but chiefly 
because such proceedings, from their procrasti- 
nated and infinitesimal character, admit of 
much appeal to the court upon collateral and 
incidental points. There is considerable diffi- 
culty in dealing with such clients : if you give 
into their despondency with misplaced sym- 
pathy, you run the chance of confirming them 
in their secretly cherished though unacknowl- 
edged purpose of compromising the affair for 
themselves, at whatever disadvantage ; and 
you are 'privately accused of the heavy loss 
they sustain. The injury derived from these 
whispered charges, industriously circulated to 
excuse their own irresolution, may prove 
incalculably great throughout your whole con- 
nexion. On the other hand, if you sustain 
and encourage their desponding spirits, you 
subject yourself, in the event of failure, to the 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


145 


certain imputation of influencing your client 
to unprofitable and endless litigation for self- 
interested purposes, while “ he was all along 
willing to settle it, hut his attorney would not 
let him.” I can suggest no better rule for an 
attorney to follow in cases of this kind than 
honestly to inform himself, by the opinion of 
an honest counsel, by which I mean a man 
who will give you credit, which few of them 
will do, for consulting your client’s interest in 
disregard of your own, what is the proper 
course to pursue, and to take that course, 
utterly regardless of any reproach which the 
client may subsequently make. 

There are clients, however, of the class des- 
pondent, who are neither chargeable with 
temper nor injustice, and such men impose on 
their legal adviser duties more akin to the phy- 
sician’s or the clergyman’s than the lawyer’s. I 
fell in with one of this description in very early 
life. I hate a sentimental tragedy, — “ scenes” 
of all kinds are a positive nuisance; but as pro- 
fessional adventures, when truly related, must 
partake of every hue, my readers will excuse me 
for troubling them with one; we shall turn 
again to fun with redoubled zest. 

7 


146 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


My friend Harris was a young man of un- 
usual attainments : but the res angusta domi did 
not allow him to devote himself to professional 
life, for which, in any quiet and unobtrusive 
branch, he was peculiarly adapted. It often 
occurs to such men, that they follow literature 
or science just to the extent that humanizes the 
character, and gives exquisite refinement to the 
mental tone, but falls short of imparting that 
vigor of mind which can discriminate justly 
between merited and undeserved reproach, so as 
to set at naught the one, while they shun the 
other as the severest of human calamities. 
Harris found himself at the age of five- an d- 
twenty, possessed of about two thousand 
pounds, the bequest of a female relative ; hav- 
ing up to that period, languished away a petty 
patrimony of less than a fourth of that sum, 
spinning it out as best he could, till the patron- 
age of a distant connexion could find him “ an 
appointment ” equal to his birth and education. 

Harris’s understanding was too good not to 
be aware that two th >usand pounds would go 
but a little way towards maintaining him, 
while he acquired the rudiments of legal or 
medical instruction, and afterwards waited for 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


147 


employment; but like many men of good 
understanding whom I have met with in a life 
now not a very short one, he fell into the mis- 
take of supposing that commercial business is 
bo simple and inartificial as to allow any man 
of common sense and common prudence, to 
embark in it with certain profit. He inquired 
for and soon found “ a highly respectable man 
that wanted a partner with a few thousand, who 
might take an active part, or not, in the con- 
cern, as he might feel inclined.” We all know 
in our profession, that such “ opportunities ” 
are to be found daily by the score; but my 
poor friend was not an attorney, and had no 
attorney at his elbow. He took the precaution, 
however, of employing an accountant to ex- 
amine the “ opportunity ” books ; and the 
accountant overhauled waste -book, and bill- 
book, and pass-book, and ledger, and all the 
double entry and other Sybilline leaves of trad- 
ing mystery, till his brains were addled, if he 
ever had any! Of course he reported all right ; 
aDd in an evil hour, Harris invested his little 
capital in “ the concern.” He was not long in 
discovering that his partner was a “ very clever 
fellow,” and that he himself knew nothing: 


148 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


hence, with the natural modesty of a well- 
educated man, and with the natural confidence 
of an inexperienced one, he left all to the 
management of his “ very clever ” partner, and 
shrunk back into the station of a mere count- 
ing-house clerk: the transition to a sleeping, 
and eventually to an absentee partner, was a 
matter of course. From this slumber he was 
abruptly awakened about two years from its 
commencement, by finding that his “ very 
clever ” and very active partner had taken ship- 
ping one fine morning for America ! No sooner 
was it known, than claims came pouring in 
from all directions : goods supplied on commis- 
sion, goods consigned from abroad, all abruptly 
found owners; but neither the owners nor 
Harris could discover the goods : bills accepted 
and bills dishonored fell from the skies like 
leaves in October; but the consideration for 
them, or the funds to meet them, were alike 
evanescent. Harris found himself in a laby- 
rinth of liability, a perfect wilderness of paper 
and arithmetic, from which extrication appeared 
hopeless — ruin certain and irretrievable. This 
was his position when he first applied to me. 
Amazed, bewildered, and lost, the very excite- 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


149 


ment of extreme misfortune, and hourly per- 
plexity, at first kept 'him active and alive. I 
called his creditors together, explained to them 
his situation, begged their indulger.ee for time 
to look about us, and subject to certain angry 
curses, and still more provoking costs incurred 
by carrion attorneys on the principle of first 
come first served, I succeeded in getting hostile 
proceedings suspended for a month. That 
month enabled me to sift many of the most 
clamorous demands, and as is usual in such 
cases, I found the most clamorous, the most 
equivocal. I silenced half-a-dozen by gentle 
intimations of partnership liability arising out 
of their dealings, others I disposed of on the 
ground of fraud, and I began to see my way 
clearly to a decent dividend, provided affairs 
were wound up under a trust deed. This was 
all satisfactory ; but poor Harris, after the first 
storm had subsided, became nervous, agitated, 
and helpless, as he was ignorant, as a child. 
He was with me daily; but it was only to 
bemoan himself, and ask unmeaning questions, 
or tender unavailing service. Advice, consola- 
tion, encouragement, were all thrown away; 
“ he cared little for his money — he despised his 


150 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


creditors — he had no doubt of success in some 
other calling; but what would become of his 
character and fair fame ? ” and to that extent 
did he carry this morbid sensibility, that when 
at length I prevailed on all the bona fide credi- 
tors to come into the proposed arrangement, he 
defeated it entirely by peremptorily refusing to 
execute any deed that might empower the 
trustees to litigate the doubtful claims ! There 
was a mystery about this pusillanimity that 1 
could not penetrate, but it was soon explained ; 
he had a very sufficient reason for deprecating 
publicity! Bona fide creditors, however, are 
not men to be trifled with ; when Harris per- 
emptorily refused to ratify the arrangement 
which I had promised on his behalf, a commis- 
sion was soon sued out ; the appearance of hi? 
name in the gazette brought to light, at the 
same time that it for ever terminated an en- 
gagement which he had made with the daughter 
of an eminent merchant — a worthless, though 
amiable woman (for, alas ! I have not lived 
forty years in the world, without learning that 
amiability may consist with utter baseness), 
and Harris became bankrupt and broken- 
hearted the same day. Had he possessed more 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


151 


firmness, I still could have brought him 
through : for a time he was quite docile, from 
mere despondency. As the truth became 
known, hostility gave place to commiseration, 
and his certificate would have been signed with 
alacrity; but a circumstance happened which 
threatened yet deeper disgrace. His villainous 
partner was the trustee of funds that he had 
appropriated ; it became necessary, for the pro- 
tection of the estate, to try the question at law, 
whether these funds had been applied to the use n 
of the partnership ; the hare suspicion of such 
a fraud was too much for my poor friend, and 
he died before the trial took place. The lady 
to whom he was betrothed, soon found a 
wealthier husband, and not long after her 
marriage, found also a more agreeable lover ! 
hut whether she too has buried her more 
merited sorrow in the grave, 1 know not. I 
saw her years afterwards, caressing with fond- 
ness a child that did not hear its mother’s 
name ; she looked at me with an expression of 
eager, yet retreating anxiety, and tears were in 
her eyes; hut I dreaded retrospect not less than 
she could do, and we passed in silence. I have 
nevep seen or heard of her since. 


152 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


Clients of this character require something 
more than professional aid. My poor friend’s 
case was not one of the ordinary description, 
certainly ; hut this morbid sensibility is not of 
such rare occurrence as may he supposed, though 
it is very rarely that the accidents of life wound 
it thus deeply. It is not easy, perhaps, to esti- 
mate the true value of early and total disappoint- 
ment in worldly prospects; yet on the other 
hand, it is certain that very early disappoint- 
ment is by no means fatal to ultimate, and even 
brilliant success. That there is “ a tide in the 
affairs of men ” is true enough ; hut the hour of 
its ebb or flood is fortunately too capricious to 
allow of the maxim being of much practical 
use. When we are introduced to a client dis- 
posed to surrender himself to the hopeless feel- 
ings of Harris, we are hound to sympathize in 
them, even with fraternal tenderness ; but not 
to share them. In proportion as he is cast 
down, we must maintain a cheerful, yet tran- 
quil attitude. 

Cases of the class which I have been describ- 
ing are, perhaps, the only cases in which an 
attorney can scarcely go too far in taking a 
personal interest in his client’s affairs ; yet even 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


153 


here, that interest must stop short of identity 
of feeling; a calm self-possession must he 
maintained, or he will fail in encouraging his 
client, for encouragement to hope is imparted 
more by example than by precept. To under- 
value difficulties, to laugh at obstacles which 
can only be surmounted by patient ingenuity, 
is inexpedient and dangerous : when their real 
magnitude becomes apparent, the client will 
distrust your professional knowledge, and his 
despondency becomes deeper by the failure of 
his confidence. All should be clearly and 
honestly explained to him ; but the explanation 
should be given with the manner of one who 
knows what he has to encounter, and is consci- 
ous that there is nothing in it so formidable, 
but perseverance and good sense may insure 
success. All this is obvious and commonplace, 
yet it is a most difficult doctrine to reduce to 
practice ; for it is much opposed to that policy 
which guides the younger members of the pro- 
fession. Some, I fear too many, think it wise 
to exaggerate difficulties, that they may secure 
proportionate credit for surmounting them: 
others from natural diffidence if not timidity, 
rate them too highly, to pave the way for ex- 
7 * 


154 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 

pected defeat: there is yet a third class who 
apprehend their client’s displeasure, if they 
appear to entertain less anxiety and alarm than 
himself, at the critical position in which he 
stands. All these motives are personal and 
selfish, when traced to their source ; and selfish- 
ness so surely predominates, that the chances 
are always in favor of an inexperienced attorney 
acting upon them, in preference to more gener- 
ous principles. I am convinced, however, that 
this selfish policy is short-sighted. I have 
known more than one instance of counsel ac- 
quiring an extent of business for which their 
learning little qualified them, by the consolatory 
spirit in which they always predicate success. 
I know many in which counsel of profound 
knowledge and high attainments have pursued 
a long career of yearly disappointment, because 
the nervous apprehension of being turned 
round on some point which few but themselves 
would have the acuteness to discover, dismisses 
the attorney from his conference with gloomy 
forebodings of the issue. If, notwithstanding 
he succeeds, he doubts the soundness of the 
advice, and at all events retains no pleasing 
recollection of his adviser. The same rule 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


155 


holds in every respect, between the attorney and 
his client. A cheerful, I do not mean a 
sanguine expectation, rallies the spirits, and 
gives courage to the drooping litigant: it is 
impossible to give strength of mind to one who 
is utterly destitute of it, but a temporary firm- 
ness, sufficient for the occasion, may often be 
generated in a timid man who feels himself 
thrown upon superior resolution for support ; 
and the most certain mode of strengthening his 
confidence, and removing his depression, is to 
exhibit the energy that he wants, while you do 
not deny the emergency that requires it. 

It is scarcely foreign to this subject to observe 
that a great mistake obtains among the junior 
branches of the profession, and perhaps among 
many of all ages out of it, as to the qualities 
which are peculiarly desirable in a solicitor. 
It is rightly assumed that he must possess a 
certain share of legal knowledge ; though even 
here, if I may judge by the prosperity of many, 
less will serve his turn than is commonly sup- 
posed: a liberal education ultra the law, is 
mostly, but very erroneously, regarded as mere 
accomplishment. I am ashamed to say of my 
brethren, that I know too many among them, 


156 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


the style of whose composition would disgrace 
a chambermaid, and the tone of whose manners 
would exclude them from the butler’s pantry. 
I know not one however, of this description, 
who has ever attained, or even aspired to a 
higher rank in it, than that which might be 
allowed to a sheriff’s officer, or a money-lend- 
ing Jew. Honesty, in the ordinary and* limited 
sense of the term, is generally presumed as a 
qualification of course, though ill-natured 
people do say that it is rather an extraordinary 
professional trait. All however, are agreed, 
that to a greater or less extent, according to 
taste and the character of his business, law, 
general knowledge, and common honesty are 
required in an attorney : but discuss the desir- 
able a little further, and we find the usual 
definition given of the desiderated animal is 
that he shall he “ a sharp, clever fellow.” In 
deference to this favorite notion, I have assumed 
my nom de voyage ; yet with the inconsistency 
of many who travel the continent as captains 
and colonels (I know one gallant old gentleman 
at this moment, who designates himself abroad 
as “ Monsieur le Colonel,” in virtue of an old 
uniform to which he had acquired a title under 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


157 


the volunteer system), I am bold enough to say 
not only that your “ sharp, clever fellows ” 
make your worst attorneys, but that they rarely 
gain admission to the higher classes of respect- 
able clients: this sounds a little paradoxical, 
but there is sufficient reason for it. The sort 
of cleverness which obtains this reputation for 
an attorney, is to be found in every office on 
very cheap terms. Every common law or 
chancery clerk (as a piano that has been prac- 
tised on for two or three years, arrives at its 
prime) is after a short probation, pre-eminent 
for it ; and no office of any extent in business 
is without a convenient appendage of this kind, 
whose special duty it is to set snares and catch 
an opponent tripping : whenever he or his em- 
ployer is at fault, the pleader or a junior counsel 
will soon make a skillful cast for the scent. 
This conflict of wit for petty advantage often 
occurs among the subordinates of an attorney’s 
office ; and where (though that is very seldom,) 
the client reaps any real benefit from it, the 
principal, by reflected honor from his clerk, is 
voted a “ sharp and clever fellow.” Among 
respectable men, however, these paltry conten- 
tions are despised, and also discouraged ; 


158 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


because they tend to create angry and vindic- 
tive feeling, without any counter - balancing 
advantage, except, perchance, two or three 
pounds that may be successfully extracted 
from the pocket of an opponent in the shape of 
costs, with as much credit, though more safety, 
than by picking it of a watch and seals. It 
generally happens that clerks who spend their 
noviciate in learning this cleverness, pique 
themselves so much on the acquisition of it, 
that they learn but little else ; and when they 
enter upon practice on their own account, have 
no other accomplishment to bring to their aid. 
Hence their minds degenerate; their business 
is low, because it is chiefly in low business that 
such smartness enables them to shine; and 
even low and vulgar clients very soon discover, 
that while in the progress of a cause, these 
“ sharp, clever fellows ” are daily met and 
defeated by pleaders and counsel, if not by 
attorneys, as sharp and clever as themselves, 
their sharpness is frequently turned upon their 
employers, of whose dullness they can render 
very profitable account ! The truth is, that it 
is only clients of very doubtful honesty, and 
who have business to transact which demands 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


159 


the protection of those resources to which 
knavery alone will stoop, that require the aid 
of these “ sharp, clever men ; ” but such clients 
are not worth having on any terms, and if you 
have too many of them, you will secure a 
reputation for cunning and address that will 
keep more respectable connexions at a respectful 
distance. If I were asked to define the pro- 
fessional character to which I should most 
willingly trust myself, in an affair of delicacy 
or importance, involved in intricate details of 
circumstance, and entangled, perhaps, with 
much of personal and private feeling, I should 
select a man distinguished by calm energy, a 
clear head, and sound common sense : if in 
addition to this, he were gifted with a cheerful 
disposition, and marked, not by fastidious 
delicacy of mind, but by that enlarged honesty 
which is usually intended by “ honorable 
principle,” I should consider that he possessed 
the finest qualities for a useful attorney. Of 
course there are not many who come up to this 
standard ; but in proportion as they approach 
it, and as the general nature of their business 
implies that they keep it constantly in view, a 
client may consider himself safe in their hands. 


1G0 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


If my work were not necessarily anonymous, 
and anonymous praise, however sincere, goes 
for nothing, I could with ease name a hundred 
solicitors that well deserve to be classed with 
such as I have here described. 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


1G1 


CHAPTER XII. 


** Cun pertinacia recte disputari non potest.”— Cic. de Fin. 

“ Qua in re mihi ridicule es yisus esse inconstans.”— P ro. Qu. R. 


But I have been tempted into a long digres 
sion from my immediate subject. I mighl 
distinguish and classify clients by as many 
peculiarities as there are passions in human 
nature : I wish, however, only to mention some 
of the more usual varieties. There is a very 
large and very profitable class that may be 
described as the “wrong-headed.” Wrong- 
headedness may spring from temper, from tim- 
idity, from ignorance, and a multitude of causes. 
I have already given a few specimens of the 
class that will illustrate this, but the wrong- 
headedness to which I am now alluding, is an 
infirmity of itself, more nearly allied to pride, 
perhaps, than to any other kindred spirit, but 
distinguishable in many points even from that. 
It is an obstinacy ot that peculiar character that 


162 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


will resolutely act for itself, even while it admits 
its inability to judge, or to collect the materials 
for judging correctly. It acknowledges its 
own dullness; it seeks to he enlightened; it 
professes an eager anxiety to “ see its way 
clearly ; ” it owns to perplexity ; and acknow- 
ledges inexperience. The attorney is taken with 
this show of deferential confidence ; he exposes 
the true position of the party, points out the 
material circumstances, explains the collateral 
bearings of the subjects, suggests the difficulties 
and advises on the prudential course ; when to 
his surprise and mortification, he finds he has 
been talking to the winds. 

“ I admit all you say, Mr. Sharpe ; there is a 
great deal of truth in it ; perhaps you are right ; 
only it does not seem to me that I must go on as 
I proposed.” 

“ Then, Sir, you will assuredly subject your- 
self to costs, and probably to disappointment.” 

“ It is very honest in you to say so, Mr. Sharpe, 
but I own I have formed my opinion long 
since.” 

“ Your opinion was formed under a mistaken 
view of the case: you now see jour position 
better.” 


IN SEARCH OP PRACTICE. 


163 


“ Yes, but I am not apt to be mistaken ; I 
find others agree with me in my first impres- 
sions.” 

“ Perhaps you did not so fully explain your- 
self and your situation to them.” 

“ It may be so ; but I do not well see how I 
can alter my purpose.” 

“ You have not understood before how desti- 
tute you are of evidence.” 

“ Yes : but I may find some better evidence 
yet.” 

“ Then the legal point is doubtful, if you do.” 

“ That’s true: but I must trust to counsel for 
that. It strikes me that I must go on.” 

“ Should you eventually fail, you widen the 
breach that it is your interest to heal.” 

“ I am aware of that ; still I don’t see how I 
can help myself.” 

“ I feel it my duty to say that I think your 
determination a rash one.” 

“ I am very sorry for that, Sir ; very sorry, in- 
deed: but if you are unwilling to undertake the 
cause I must consult Mr. Darall. I have heard 
all you have said with attention ; but I confess I 
am not convinced, so I cannot alter my mind.” 

And if you remain honestly firm to your 


164 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


opinion, no matter how rational or how disin- 
terested, you lose your client. Here is a choice 
of difficulties : take up the cause and fail, and 
the failure is not thrown on your client’s obstin- 
acy, not even by his own conscience, hut on 
your ignorance and irresolution : should you 
succeed, the probability is that you lose his 
confidence hereafter, because your success gives 
the lie to your own predictions. Reputation is 
endangered either way, for I know to my cost, 
that a character for being too cautious is as fatal 
to professional repute, as the opposite extreme 
of temerity. These wrong-headed customers 
are the most profitable of any, when they do 
happen to be right ; this however, is hut seldom, 
for if they do not find a post in their way, they 
will soon make one to run their heads against. 
On the whole, I dread a “but” and a “yes, hut” 
client. Pleas by confession and avoidance are 
most provoking. 

The “whimsical” species is a very large 
family; and if not very perplexing, certainly 
very far from agreeable. I may observe of this 
class, as of the last, that their business is gen- 
erally of a nature peculiar to themselves. The 
case of the wrong-headed is usually one of some 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


165 


very equivocal right : the abatement of an al- 
leged nuisance; the restraint of a customary 
trespass; resistance to a doubtful encroachment; 
enforcement of a vague contract; or above all, 
the assertion of some very questionable right of 
way, of toll, of common, and so forth. With 
clergymen invariably it arises on the titheable 
character of a twig of hazel or an alder bush. 
So with the client whimsical, his wrongs are 
always characteristic of the man : they savor 
of frivolity, — he has been deceived in the value 
of a painting or a horse, — or the mail has 
started before its time, and left him behind 
— or he has contracted for a green -house or a 
dog -kennel, and the builder has built it one way 
while he ordered it another; and then comes 
objection; objection ends in quarrel; and each 
party flies to his attorney, to bring the other to 
book ; it by no means follows that the attorney 
is empowered to act, however. I had an amus- 
ing instance of this indecision in a man who 
was otherwise sensible, and who chanced, on 
this occasion, to be right on the merits. My 
friend had contracted for extensive alterations 
in his house; a specification had been prepared, 
but as usual, the original plan had been aband- 


166 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


oned, revived, again abandoned, and eventually 
varied a dozen times. Of course a bill for extra 
work to no small amount, was sent in. He 
brought it to me. 

44 Here’s a pretty rascal for you ! be contracted 
to do the job for a hundred pounds, which I 
paid him, and here is sixty - three more ! I shall 
not pay it. Can he make me, Sharpe ? ” 

44 That depends on circumstances ; was the 
work included in the contract ? ” 

44 Some of it was ; he was to open a door into 
the drawing-room, but I afterwards ordered 
folding -doors.” 

“ Is that the only deviation ?” 

“ Ho : the new windows were to be sash win- 
dows, and they were altered to French.” 

“ Any thing more ? ” 

“ Why, I was obliged to change the position 
of the fire-place on account of the kitchen flues.” 

44 Was this all?” 

“ Pretty nearly, only the recess was turned 
into a closet.” 

44 Have you done now ? ” 

44 Letmesee! Ho: I forgot the flooring. It 
was new laid to correspond with the other 
floor.” 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


167 


“And there the alterations ended ?” 

“ The hinges of the new doors were changed 
for patent hinges.” 

“ Then the rest was done according to the 
contract ? ” 

“Not entirely; we did not like the white 
marble, so we substituted Douro.”, 

“And the painting and papering?” 

“ It was to have been papered, certainly, hut 
we found that painting was better for the pic- 
tures.” 

“That led to further change?” 

“ Why, you know we were obliged to have 
the oak graining to correspond with the draw- 
ing-room.” 

“ And the cornices?” 

“Oh, dear, I forgot the cornice; of course 
that was made of the same pattern as the other.” 

“ Then with these deviations the specification 
was adhered to.” 

“ Except in a few trifling matters, perhaps.” 

On showing him the contract and the plan, 1 
easily satisfied him that the specification had 
been abandoned in every particular, but he “ did 
not intend to pay nevertheless,” and I must 
write and say so ; the next day he repeated his call. 


168 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


“ Have yon written, Sharpe ?” 

“ No : I knew you would change your mind.” 

“I’m glad of it; I want you to write and 
propose a reference.” 

This was more rational, hut I still hesitated 
till he called again. 

“ Will he refer it, Sharpe ?” 

“ I have not asked him.” 

“ Very right, for I think if you were to tender 
him ten or twenty pounds, I shall hear no more 
about it.” 

I thought so too; but I was by no means 
sure that my friend would be of the same 
mind for four - and - twenty hours, and then 
we should be worse off than ever. I judged 
correctly. 

“ I hope you have not offered the money, 
Sharpe?” were the first words on the following 
day. 

4 4 Not yet ; I shall do so before night.” 

“ By no means ; I have made up my mind to 
resist the claim altogether, for the work’s ill 
done; I am determined to resist it.” 

Before the week ended, came the attorney’s 
letter enclosing the writ, and my client soon 
followed it to my office. 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. I(j9 

“ This looks serious, Sharpe ; have you re- 
tained Serjeant Wilde ? ” 

“Yo doubt that is done already by the plain- 
tiff, but I will send a retainer at once for the 
chance.” 

The plaintiff had secured him the previous 
day. 

“Very unlucky indeed, Sharpe! very un- 
fortunate ! what can I do now? ” 

“ Tender him twenty pounds.” 

“ lie won’t take it : ’tis too late for that.” 

“ Propose a reference.” 

“ I think that would have done a week ago, 
but ’tis useless now.” 

“ Write and say you will defend the action.” 

“Yes, and pay all the costs on both sides ! 
juries always give verdicts for brother trades- 
men.” 

“Then pay the money; or go to Brighton 
and make yourself scarce for a month, and 
leave the matter to me.” 

The latter alternative was the most agreeable. 
I offered a reference to any surveyor of eminence, 
and added that I should give the offer in evi- 
dence ; it was accepted, the work was measured, 
sixty pounds taken oft the sixty -three (this is 
8 


170 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


literally true), and five pounds more for the 
survey and costs settled the whole transaction. 
The whimsicality of my client was not the less 
mischievously absurd. Time is always lost, 
costs often incurred, and favorable opportunities 
of amicable compromise, or of testing the in 
ierrorem . power of professional decision, are 
foolishly allowed to slip by. 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


ill 


CHAPTER XIII. 


* Multitudo superbe dominatur.” — Lrv. 

The “ client collective ” is an untameable 
hydra ! There are many varieties of this 
species : sometimes it is found in the form of 
parish vestries ; sometimes of a bench of magis- 
trates ; sometimes of a professional or scientific 
council ; at others of a coffee-house assemblage 
of rapacious creditors, or of an insurance or 
railroad hoard. In whatever form the mon- 
ster appears, it requires Herculean powers 
to encounter it. It has fallen to my lot to meet 
it in every shape, yet I scarcely know how to 
prepare myself, much less others, for the con- 
flict. To drop metaphor; we must recollect 
that when men assemble in considerable num- 
bers to effect any common object, but not sub- 
jected to any rigorous discipline because they 
assemble spontaneously, and therefore on terms 


372 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 

of republican equality, each brings to the dis- 
cussion not merely his peculiar knowledge, but 
his peculiar temper and absurdities : the most 
good-natured man is voted to the chair, and 
unless firmness and good sense mark his de- 
portment, his good -nature is in his own way 
and the way of every body else : passion breaks 
loose; absurdity gains ground, (for every man 
is more or less absurd on some point), the chair- 
man appeals to the good sense of the board, 
long after every symptom of it has vanished, 
and then the dernier ressort is to the authority of 
the legal adviser. But this officer usually stands 
in a very unlucky predicament. He has an ac- 
knowledged interest in the question of costs, on 
every important matter that provokes debate. 
Collective bodies are destitute of delicacy or 
shame; where reproach is distributed among 
many, each man’s share becomes imperceptibly 
fight ; hence the most cutting sarcasm and illib- 
eral sneers are unsparingly vented on profes- 
sional rapacity, by men who would blush indi- 
vidually to be suspected of a shabby economy. 
In their official chairs however, they “ are trus- 
tees for the public;” and under this convenient 
salvo, they uphold penurious parsimony as a 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


173 


laudable duty that they are bound to practice. 
Now to all this, the attorney must submit with 
patience, — nay, with cheerfulness; for if he 
appears to wince under the lash, punishment is 
redoubled; should he be provoked into a re- 
tort, he challenges a trial of official strength ; 
for there is nothing that assembled officials like 
to display so much as their power. Yet their 
attorney must answer every appeal with calm 
good -hum or, as well as deferential gravity. 

A favorable opportunity occurred to me in 
the third year of my professional life, to start a 
public company for a very legitimate purpose. 
Joint-stock speculations were not at that time 
so much distrusted as they are now; foreign 
mining was the rage, and fortunate was the man 
who could state on decent authority that Chili 
or Peru had still a barren mountain unprovided 
with a wealthy owner. No sooner was it an- 
nounced by me that the rich soil of Bubbillassi 
was in the market than shareholders, directors, 
and trustees came in by shoals. I knew neither 
its latitude nor longitude. I was equally ignor- 
ant of its products, its capabilities, and its 
value. An enterprising friend had spent three 
months on the South American continent dab- 


174 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 

bling a little in geology, mineralogy, and “ all 
the other ologies ; ” he returned home at the nick 
of time, prated fluently about gold and silver 
lodes, veins unexplored, and hidden treasures, all 
of which needed but a few thousand pounds, 
and a clever agent like himself, to secure them 
to the first bidder in the market of British cap- 
italists. I own that at this age I was scandal- 
ously green as to the advantages to be derived 
from such lucrative projects; I little dreamt of 
the mystery of issuing shares most grudgingly, 
swearing that they were all bespoke, long ere 
one had been subscribed for, bribing an active 
stock -broker with the disposal of a few hun- 
dreds of them, and then pocketing the premium 
before a first installment had been paid. Had I 
comprehended ail this thimble -riggery then, I 
should have been far above the necessity now of 
“ soft - soldering ” clients ! but let human nature 
be as bad as it may, I do maintain that such 
knowledge is not to be acquired by intuition, 
even by a man born in the Rotunda, and cradled 
in the Stock Exchange ! no, not though he 
should be blest with a Jew -attorney for a dry- 
nurse. My prospectus of the Bubbillassi Min- 
ing Company was soon published, (I was always 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


irs 

a good hand at drawing a prospectus,) and 
bankers, merchants, stock - brokers, ship-own- 
ers, and East India captains were at me by the 
dozen. Even metropolitan M. P.’s and wor- 
shipful Aldermen thought it no sin to assure 
me that 4 4 they liked the scheme ; it was a mag- 
nificent idea, they had much time on their hands 
and would be happy to take a few shares, and 
even to give weight to the direction by taking a 
part in it, if all the seats were not yet filled up.” 
I might have suspected that all this meant some- 
thing, hut like a confiding greenhorn as I was, 
I innocently interpreted these kind assurances 
au pied de lettre , and bestowed my patronage in 
the order of the applications made to me. 
Thus I soon found myself surrounded by a 
motley crew, all of my own appointment, and 
as I of course inferred, all most gratefully dis- 
posed to admit a reciprocity of obligation. For 
a time things went on swimmingly ; not a soul 
among us knew anything about the mines, or 
smelting, or Chili, or Peru, or aught connected 
therewith ! Less still did they understand the 
science of organizing associated bodies ; all was 
left to my ingenuity, and aided by the local in- 
formation of my ingenious coadjutor, I contrived 


176 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


to satisfy all doubts, overcome all obstacles, and 
launch the speculation so plausibly and dexter- 
ously, that shares rose in the market to a 
premium that enriched every body but myself, 
and those who paid it ! Of our eventful success 
I shall say no more ; there are thousands and 
tens of thousands who will be at no loss to 
identify their Company by this short sketch of 
its commencement, and if a lurking doubt 
should still remain, the following scene at a 
weekly board will remove it. There are sundry 
articles of furniture, of “ property,” I believe I 
should say in theatrical phrase, that are essential 
to Company dramas. Twelve mahogany chairs 
of massive dignity, duly covered with green 
morocco, and commanded by one of loftier pre- 
tensions in capacity and elevation of back ; a 
very neat ivory turned hammer somewhat larger 
than an auctioneer’s, to assist in resolving into 
its simple ideas the compound eloquence of 
twelve gentlemen of “ considerable influence, 
well known in the city;” six daily newspapers 
to amuse the thoughts of those who “take no 
interest in the immediate subject of discussion; ” 
a dozen memorandum books interleaved with 
blotting-paper to employ the finger during the 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


177 


tedious process of reading over minutes, and 
formal correspondence; and above all, a lengthy 
table, at which twenty aldermen might dine 
without crowding, which said table must be 
covered with superfine green cloth : all these 
several properties are actually indispensable to 
the due performance of directorial parts, though 
on the whole, I am inclined to think the green 
table the most important of them all. 

The first occasion on which my professional 
assistance was formally requested, arose on 
a matter that seemed to me ludicrously insignifi- 
cant ; but I had not then learnt that the zeal 
of a “ collective client ” increases in a direct 
ratio with the insignificance of the subject, and 
rightly so ; for what dependence can be placed 
on the wisdom and frugality of “ a public 
board,” if even in trifles involving however 
slightly the “ interests of the share -holders,” 
they lose sight of economy, or foolishly confide 
the management specially entrusted to them- 
selves, to the skill of subordinate officials ? The 
deed of settlement was a document of awful 
length, extending over some thirty skins of 
parchment of more than ordinary dimensions ; 

I had succeeded in procuring the signatures q{ 
8 * 


178 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 

all the proprietors, and as in duty bound, 
reported progress, and laid the mighty roll on 
the table. “ What next ? ” was the perplexing 
inquiry that led to the following scene. 

“ Gentlemen,” began the chairman with most 
becoming gravity, after a short prelude with 
the ivory hammer, “ Gentlemen,” and the 
hammer was again called into action : “I must 
entreat silence, gentlemen, for one minute, 
while” — 

“ Mr. Chairman,” exclaimed a pert youth of 
about five -and -twenty, who gloried in the 
name of Gribble, “ I wish to know, Mr. Chair- 
man, why that enormous mass of parchment, 
which of course cost money, might not have 
been saved ? paper would have done as well ! ” 

“ I was going to explain, Mr. Gribble,” 
promptly answered the chairman; but ere he 
could finish the sentence, a new orator broke 
forth in a Mr. Lounch, a steady, substantial, and 
straight-forward tradesman of the old school. 

“ Saving’s a very good thing, Mr. Chairman, 
but order is still better ; and I call Mr. Gribble 
to order, seeing that you, Sir, were in possession 
of the chair ! ” 

“ I don’t well see how he could be out of it,” 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


179 


retorted Mr. Gribble, “but I contend I am 
not out of order, for if such confounded waste 
as that ” — 

“ Order, order,” shouted three or four at 
once, “ there is no motion before the board! ” 

“ If a speedy motion is desirable to prevent 
disorder,” interposed Dr. Flabotham, “ I will 
move that in all future operations of our body, 
waste paper be substituted for parchment.” 

“ Chair ! chair ! no professional allusions, 
Doctor ! ” 

“ Dr. Flabotham, it is my duty to say ” — 

“ I scorn all professional allusions,” inter- 
rupted the Doctor, “ I merely wish to purge 
this board of the disorder that is always pre- 
dicated by the want of motion.” 

“Motion or no motion, I am in possession 
of the chair ; ” again began Mr. Gribble. 

“ I think you have no occasion for it, and 
should be kicked out of it,” interposed the 
plain-speaking Mr. Lounch. 

The activity of the hammer here became 
terrific ; the entreaties of the chairman assumed 
a tone almost of rebuke ; not an ear heard him, 
however, for not a tongue was silent, and re- 
monstrance was in vain. 


180 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


“ Kicked, did you say, Sir? did you say 
kicked ? ” 

“ And a motion before tlie chair ! ” 

“ But not seconded.” 

“ The chairman was going to explain when 
Gribble interrupted.” 

“ I move that the words be taken down.” 

“ I second that motion.” 

“ Impossible ; it is contrary to all rule : you 
must move an amendment.” 

“ I appeal to the chairman. ” 

“ Gentlemen, gentlemen, it is impossible to 
keep order, unless” — 

“ I again ask, did you say kicked, Sir ? ” 
c ' Address yourself to the chair, Mr. Gribble, 
these personal applications ” — 

“ He did not kick me, Sir ! What do you 
mean to insinuate by personal applications ? ” 
“I vote that this meeting do adjourn ! ” 

“ What, without doing business ? ” 

“ It is you have interrupted it, Lounch ! ” 

“I did not; Gribble said he had taken the 
chair, when I am sure he did not want it.” 

And so the tumultuous chorus was sustained, 
till exhaustion silenced the majority ; when the 
chairman availed himself of a momentary pause 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


181 


to ask the question, how it all began ? This 
was a signal for re - commencing the row. 

“It was Mr. Gribble who” — 

“ Dr. Flabotham moved that ” — 

“ Lounch wanted to kick ” — 

“ ’Tis one o’cloek, gentlemen, and I must be 
off to the Phoenix,” exclaimed Lounch, in a 
resolute but quiet tone, that induced several to 
follow his example, and take ‘their hats; peace 
was now restored ; a quasi apology exchanged 
between the most obstreperous, who resumed 
their seats, and to seal the general reconcilia- 
tion, the chairman gravely proposed that Mr. 
Sharpe’s opinion should be requested on the 
point in dispute. To this an immediate assent 
was given, and I was summoned from the 
adjoining room, to which I had retreated when 
matters were becoming serious. 

“ Mr. Sharpe,” the chairman blandly began, 
“ the Board wish for your opinion on the subject 
that has excited so much unpleasant discussion : 
will you have the goodness to favor us with it?” 
“ May I ask what the question is, Sir? ” 

“ Perhaps you will explain it, Mr. Gribble/* 
said the chairman, prudently evading the verj 
difficult task. 


182 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 

“ The question is, Mr. Sharpe, what’s the use 
of all that heap of parchment yonder, except to 
swell your hill of costs ? can you tell me that, Sir ?” 

“ I beg pardon,” interposed Lounch, “ that 
was not the question at all.” 

“ Then perhaps you will explain what was, as 
you understand it so well,” rejoined Gribble. 

“ The question was about the Doctor’s 
motion.” 

“ ’Twas no such thing; ’twas a point of order,” 
observed the Doctor. 

“ There you’re quite out ; for the chair de- 
cided it against you.” 

“ I decided nothing, gentlemen, but as Mr. 
Sharpe cannot answer the question till he hears 
it, I beg to propose that it shall he written 
down.” 

“ A good thought that,” observed a humorous 
man, about fifty, who had been the only peace- 
able one in the party; “I move that every man 
shall write his question down.” 

The hint was promptly taken; everybody 
seized a pen, and in five minutes I was favored 
with as many questions as there were directors, 
that is to say, exactly fifteen ; and the best of it 
was that no two were at all alike. I read them 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


183 


all with becoming gravity, but to answer half 
or even a tenth of them was impossible. I ex- 
tricated myself from the difficulty without much 
trouble. 

“ Gentlemen, I can easily remove all your 
doubts, but it will be at considerable expense.” 

“ Costs again ! Sharpe never thinks of any- 
thing but costs ! ” observed Gribble. 

“ Yes, Sir, the costs will be very heavy indeed, 
and that is my reason for hesitating.” 

Why, can’t you open your mouth but we 
must pay for it ? ” 

“ Precisely so, Sir ! you have asked me fifteen 
questions, and at six-and-eightpence each the 
answers will be exactly five pounds ! ” 

My quiet friend, who had been looking over 
some of the papers simultaneously with myself, 
observed that they would not get off so cheaply, 
for at least two -thirds of them required the 
opinion of counsel ! It was finally determined 
that I should select for myself such as most 
obviously required an answer, when, like a fool, 
I replied, “ there was but one;” and thereby 
deeply offended the self-complacency of four- 
teen - fifteenths of my collective client ! “ Which 
is it ? ” was eagerly asked on every side, each 


184 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


man expecting the honor of being deemed the 
most intelligible, if -■ the most sagacious. 

“It is Mr. Loun^ s — ‘What is to be done 
with the deed V ” 

I had no time allowed me however, to answer 
it, or probably they thought six - and-eightpence 
too high a price, for the hubbub immediately 
recommenced. 

“ I move that it be taken to the bankers.” 

“ I move an amendment, that it be deposited 
in our own safe.” 

“ I propose that it shall be left in the solicitor’s 
charge.” 

“ The trustees should have the custody of it! ” 

“ It more properly belongs to the chair ! ” 

“ Let it be sold to the tailor for measures,” 
moved Gribble, “we shall at least save some- 
thing by that.” 

And motion followed motion, and amend- 
ment supplanted amendment, till the quiet man 
of fifty at length put an end to the disturbance 
by suggesting an inquiry of the deed itself, 
which of course provided properly for all such 
treasures. The board, glad to be relieved, then 
determined its sitting ; but its absurdities were 
co-existent with its term of collective life. 


IN SEARCH 0E PRACTICE. 


185 


Let not my readers suppose that this is a 
mere sketch of fancy, got up in the same spirit 
of exaggerated representation in which we find 
all the scenes of bubble companies delineated 
by the humorists of the day ; I have varied 
names a little to avoid being charged with libel, 
but I have studiously refrained from overcharg- 
ing the facts, or it would have been easy to have 
added much ridicule to this description ; I doubt 
not but many will be able to draw a parallel 
from their own experience: were I not afraid 
of identifying the actors, I could multiply 
tenfold such scenes from real life. I will ven- 
ture to give one more, because coupled with 
the last, it conveys a useful hint to the young 
attorney as to his behavior in such dignified 
presence. 

The eligibility of a further investment in the 
purchase of a contiguous property had been the 
subject of discussion; the case scarcely admitted 
of a doubt, if the speculation was to proceed at 
all, but where a dozen individuals are to decide 
on any question, though as clear as the sun at 
noon -day, there will assuredly be a dozen doubts 
suggested, and a dozen speeches of irresistible 
force and point, not one of which has any obvi- 


186 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


ous bearing on the subject. A great deal of 
this kind of oratory bad been already expended, 
when I was called in to advise my hydra -headed 
client. The usual ivory -hammer preliminaries 
being settled, I was addressed by the chairman 
with unwonted solemnity, the spirit of contra- 
diction and interruption having been laid by 
exorcisms of unusual power. 

“ Take a chair, Mr. Sharpe : draw nearer if 
you please, Sir; I am rather hoarse to-day.” 

“ A little this way, if you please, Sir,” begged 
a venerable gentleman, who always pleaded deaf- 
ness for density of understanding ; “ I am anxi- 
ous to hear you.” 

“ Do come forward, Sir ;” tartly interposed 
Mr. Gribble, “ I have several questions to put 
to you;” and at length, having adjusted my place 
and my chair to the seeming satisfaction of all 
parties, the chairman proceeded. 

“ The board has been occupied for an hour, 
Mr. Sharpe,” — 

“ An hour and three - quarters by my watch,” 
interrupted Mr. Lounch. 

“ Well, Lounch, it don’t matter; the board 
has been engaged for a long time, Sir,” — 

“ Too long by half,” exclaimed Gribble, who 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


187 


I found liad been the chief talker for the whole 
sitting. 

“Mr. Gribble., I must entreat silence; the 
board, Mr. Sharpe, has been considering whether 
it should avail itself of an unexpected oppor- 
tunity^ — 

“A new symptom,” observed Dr. Flaboth- 
am. 

“ Really, Doctor, I must appeal to the board, 
if I am thus interrupted — really” — “Chair, 
chair,” resounded from every quarter. “ I am 
paralyzed,” said the Doctor, and the chairman 
resumed with graceful perturbation : 

“ I am extremely sorry, gentlemen, to com- 
plain of any disregard to my authority, as 
chairman, but the delicate and very important 
duty I have to discharge, while I have the dis- 
tinguished honor of filling this chair” — here 
his voice was drowned in loud and reiterated 
cries of hear ! hear ! that overpowered his mod- 
esty while they appeased his transient dis- 
pleasure, and at length in a tone of elevated 
dignity, he pursued his address to me. 

“You will have gathered from what I have 
already said, Mr. Sharpe, that this is a question 
of very complicated and difficult character, and 


188 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


the board is desirous, indeed I may say anxious, 
to hear your sentiments upon it. 

Here he paused and looked steadily at me. I 
returned the look in expecting silence ; his com- 
peers, one and all, assumed an attitude of fixed 
attention ; and for the first time that I had ever 
assisted in their consultation, a pin might have 
been heard to drop. 

“Well, Mr. Sharpe, what is your opinion ?” 

“ What do you say to it, Mr. Sharpe ? what 
will the costs be?” added Gribble ; while five 
or six more chimed in with similar interroga- 
tions. It was a painful position; for neither 
case nor question had yet been stated, nor the 
most distant hint given except by Gribble’s in- 
quiry about the costs, as to the matter of their 
two hours’ debate : it was clear however, that 
every man at the table considered that I had 
been furnished with ample materials to form my 
expected judgment. I had no alternative but 
to confess my dullness. 

“ Hot having heard your previous discussion, 
I do not quite catch the point, Mr. Chairman.” 

“ That is very extraordinary, Sir ; I thought 
I had expressed myself clearly ; but I will repeat 
my explanation. We Lave been offered the 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


189 


property of , which you are aware, abuts 

on our principal mine, at a price which all things 
considered, is above the mark certainly — ” 

“ By <£2,800,” observed Mr. Lounch. 

“ There you are quite out,” said Gribble, “by 
at least £10,000, if you leave out the costs; 
and they will probably be £10,000 more.” 

“ I avail myself of this opportunity for to 
give notice that next board - day I shall move 
that all costs sent in by Mr. Sharpe, be taxed 
in the usual manner,” said a Mr. Sniggle, a 
vinegar -faced, elderly gentleman, who had 
acquired a large fortune during the war, by 
certain practices in a foreign port, that com- 
bined much of the character of smuggling and 
treasonable aid to an enemy in open hostilities. 

“I have long entertained" the same purpose 
myself, Sniggle ; and I am prepared with some 
very laborious calculations to prove that Mr. 
Sharpe’s bills have hitherto been a charge of 
one shilling and three half-pence per cent., on 
every investment, besides coals and candles for 
his office, which I move be no longer allowed!” 

“ Did you take in the cart-load of sheepskin, 
Pinchpenny ? ” 

“ Gentlemen, we are digressing from the 


190 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


point: 1 must call you to order. I believe, 
Mr. Sharpe, you now comprehend very clearly 
the difficulty we feel, and we shall be obliged 
to you to state your sentiments.” 

But this same digression about costs had by 
no means tended to clarify my bewildered 
thoughts, though the acrimonious and even 
spiteful tone of it, served to show the charactei 
of their recent controversy. 

“I am somewhat doubtful, Sir, — ” but 1 
was not permitted to finish the sentence, half a 
dozen 'pitching into me at once, with vindictive 
pleasure. 

“ You doubtful, Mr. Sharpe ! why y o\ voted 
U3 all fools the other day, because yor could 
not understand our questions ! ” 

“ Ay : there was only one, you thougl \ that 
required an answer.” 

“ Some people are so wise that they nei er see 
anybody’s meaning but their own.” 

“ If it were a long bill, Sharpe, you’d m uder- 
stand it fast enough.” 

And many such kind speeches uttered jvith 
every variety of intonation, but each partaking 
largely of the bark malicious, not only gave 
me time to think, but unluckily to grow 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


191 


warm. Alas ! it is very difficult for youtli to 
submit to unmerited reproach, and that too 
from illiberal and ignorant lips; but I have 
often been taught the lesson since. 

“ I see your difficulty, gentlemen. Yon 
want to buy the property, but not to pay the 
costs ! I am the last man to consult on such a 
point, so I beg leave to withdraw.” 

I did withdraw : for I had good reason to 
complain. I had never yet delivered them a 
full bill, as we technically call it; yet mod- 
erate as my charges were, they were never paid 
without grudging scrutiny and penurious hesi- 
tation. It seemed apparent to me that this 
very interview had been sought to make a dead 
set at me about costs, from vindictive resent- 
ment at my ill-timed pleasantry in the pre- 
ceding week, and I could scarcely conceal the 
disgust and indignation that I felt. I was 
visited next day with a vote of censure, and a 
menace of dismission, but it was vox etprazterea 
nihil; for in less than a month the company 
was dissolved, when every man among them 
came to me, privately, to complain of the 
grasping and selfish spirit of his coadjutors, 
and to consult me how he might most securely 


192 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


protect himself from contribution to the gem 
eral loss? I spontaneously relinquished my 
claim for all the costs of the society's foi ma- 
tion, and pocketed but seventy pounds by all 
its operations ; yet the failure sprung from no 
fault of mine, nor yet of the projector, nor 
even from any inherent defect in the project 
itself; hut from the stock -jobbing character of 
my worthy directors, who thereby forfeited the 
confidence of the shareholders, and of course 
could not raise the funds necessary to complete 
their contracts. 

It is of very little consequence what may be 
the outward and visible form of your “ collective 
client." A parish vestry, or a corporation 
court, or any other body of associated wisdom, 
is equally tyrannical, illiberal, and absurd in 
all its official proceedings, except in those cases 
where such assemblies are compelled to act 
under the check of publicity, and exposed by 
the press to the constant observation of their 
constituents. Quickness, both of eye and ear, 
good -temper, calm self-possession, and caution 
bordering on reserve, are the only qualities by 
which their legal adviser can hope to gain their 
confidence, or apply his influence successfully 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


193 


to manage them. He will not be the less a 
fool however, if he attempt to propitiate such 
clients by any spontaneous deduction from his 
legitimate charges. Such deductions are con- 
sidered, not as liberal and gratuitous conces- 
sions, but as admissions of the justice of com- 
plaint, and of course as apologies for future 
and more rigorous taxation. I have already 
dwelt on the general subject of costs ; I content 
myself with adding that the remark which I 
have before made is peculiarly applicable to 
“ collective clients;” that there is no inter- 
mediate course between charging every penny 
to which you are reasonably entitled, or charg- 
ing nothing: no credit whatever is obtained by 
a compromise. 

A principle of equal importance in every 
collision with clients of this class is to avoid 
all struggle on the question of power. It re- 
quires much self-command to practice this 
forbearance, I admit, for the frivolous rules 
continually introduced, and vexatiously en- 
forced by small-minded masters, often try the 
temper most seriously. One man wants busi- 
ness to be done in this way, and another in that ; 

Mr. Brown suggests a daily report of progress, 

9 


394 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


and Mr. Smith never wants a report at all ; nay, 
in matters too trivial for even a passing sugges- 
tion, the same meddling interference is eternally 
exhibited. I have known two hours spent in 
solemn discussion whether official letters should 
he written on note paper or foolscap. I have 
heard a debate adjourned from week to week 
for a month together, on the mighty question, 
whether the secretary should sit on the chair- 
man’s right hand or his left ! at the same board 
or at a separate table ! ! ! and times out of 
number have I been required to prepare sche- 
dules, vouch for copies, or check calculations 
wholly foreign to my duties, and for which 
costs have been refused; and yet so far from 
thinking they asked a favor in thus murdering 
my professional time, the instructions have 
been issued in the high mandatory tone of “ an 
order of the board ! ! ! ” but petty annoyances 
like these must be borne with calm philosophy. 
Cases may arise where this official tyranny is 
carried to the extent of insult, alike destructive 
of personal comfort and professional respecta 
bility; and in such cases, when personal re 
sponsibility attaches to no individual, ftrra 
remonstrance becomes a duty. Ilere, however, 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


195 


the attorney must be particularly on his guard ; 
the only court of appeal is the body of share- 
holders, with whom the directors must be 
presumed to have paramount influence; to 
avoid the hazard of an open conflict with the 
shareholders, or to guard against the mischief 
/)f it, if it proves inevitable, it will he prudent 
to reduce remonstrance to writing, and to em- 
body in it every substantial ground of com- 
plaint : this, if done pointedly, yet temperately, 
will prove an indictment on which, even in the 
pride of power, few directors will like to he 
arraigned ; but like all well -drawn indictments, 
it must he clear, certain, and precise; for no 
public assembly will listen to or understand 
voluminous statements ; a man is ruined who 
seeks justice from a jury, whether of twelve or 
twelve hundred, through a mass of complicated 
detail. But precautions like these, though by 
possibility they may be required, and therefore 
it is my duty to mention them, can only be 
necessary in extreme cases. With “ collective 
clients,” as with individuals, long experience 
of a man’s value will secure his just influence, 
and though associated bodies are rarely 
manageable, and too often irrational in their 


196 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


proceedings, I have long been connected with 
many not less liberal and indulgent, than they 
are turbulent and troublesome. The “ hanc 
veniarn petimusque damusque vicissim” is a prin- 
ciple that long acquaintance, where it generates 
mutual esteem, as it always will do among 
honorable men, will assuredly introduce into 
the daily transactions of business, till pardon 
becomes unnecessary, because provocation is 
never given. 

As there are sundry little artifices in every 
trade, by which its manipular operations are 
facilitated, so there are some rules that we may 
almost term mechanical, by which we may 
conveniently govern our intercourse with 
“ collective clients.” It is very easy to lay 
down general moral principles of self-com- 
mand, patience, good -humor, and so forth, 
and the scenes that I have been describing 
explain, to a certain extent, how to reduce 
these principles to practice ; hut I may usefully 
mention a few maxims that do not so readily 
present themselves to beginners. Young law- 
yers always labor under a false impression, as 
to the degree of weight attached to their 
opinion, even on such legal points as they are 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


197 


expressly invited to explain : they consequently 
assume a high position at the very commence- 
ment of the conference ; “ lay down the law,” 
as it is called, in a dogmatical manner; give 
the go-by to any question of which they do 
not immediately perceive the drift ; and answer 
others precipitately and decidedly, under the 
impression that any hesitation will he ascribed 
to ignorance, while any error they may commit 
will pass unheeded by men avowedly ignorant 
of law. A certain measure of self - confidence 
is unquestionably necessary to give confidence 
to others ; hut if this axiom is carried too far, 
it is highly impolitic in a large and mixed 
circle, where some one or other is almost 
certain to be found who can justly discriminate 
between the self-confidence of knowledge, and 
the assurance of mock experience. The man 
gifted with this discrimination is usually the 
man of most influence, though silently exerted; 
and if he imbibes an unfavorable opinion of 
the solicitor, that opinion will of course work 
to his serious prejudice in the long run. Hence 
my first counsel to the beginner is to allow full 
scope to all the eagerness of debate and appeal, 
before he interposes a word of advice ; to listen 


198 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


cautiously and closely to every question and 
every remark, relevant or irrelevant, proceed 
from whom it may ; and especially to he on 
the watch to discover on which side the most 
quiet and most acknowledged members of the 
board have ranged themselves. Akin to this 
suggestion, is another not less applicable to 
single clients, than it is to an assembled body 
of them, — to evade all reply till every essential 
point has been clearly explained, and every 
written document to which allusion may have 
been made, is fairly before him. I have often 
been reduced to the unpleasant necessity of re- 
tracting, or at least qualifying and softening 
down an expressed opinion, because I have after- 
wards found that not one half of the important 
facts had been communicated to me. Clients 
rarely appreciate as they deserve, minor and 
collateral circumstances; though it often hap- 
pens that on these it altogether depends, 
whether their case can be distinguished from 
one already decided, or be made an exception 
to an established principle of law. With two 
cautions of yet higher practical importance, I 
will take my leave of the subject of “ collective 
clients.” Never allow yourself to be hurried 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


199 


into an answer to any serious question, till it is 
reduced to writing ; and be equally careful to 
observe the same ceremony with your opinion. 
Quod scriptum remanet , is a motto that should 
be inscribed over every office -door. It is as 
protective to the honest man, as it is incon- 
venient to the knave. 

It will occur at times, especially after any 
warm and protracted discussion, that having 
given your opinion on the point at issue, one 
or two of the party will straggle afterwards 
into your office, ostensibly to talk over the 
subject, but in reality to give vent to irritation 
against one or more of their noisy colleagues. 
This opportunity of earwigging the board is 
tempting, when in its confusion you have been 
unable to obtain proper attention, or have suf- 
fered from its collective injustice; but it must 
be avoided It is inconceivable to what extent 
the several members of such republican gov- 
ernments are jealous of each other. A private 
interview, or an ex parte discussion with the 
solicitor, is invariably regarded as the signal 
for general disturbance. In the row that fol- 
lows, the officer is sacrificed as a peace -offering 
to restore the harmony of the board, and all 


200 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


the misunderstanding is emphatically ascribed 
to his underhand manoeuvres. It cannot be 
too strongly laid down that perfect openness, 
and straight-forward dealing, essential as they 
are to the peace as well as the respectability of 
all men, are indispensable to the very existence, 
in an official sense, of the attorney of “ col- 
lective clients.” 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


201 


CHAPTER XIV. 

“ Masters, it is proved already that you are little better than fals« 
knaves : it will go near to be thought so shortly.” 

Much Ado about Nothing. 

By the time I had acquired the experimental 
knowledge which I have here endeavored to 
impart, I found myself pretty well versed in 
the art of clientizing; hut clients are by no 
means the only people an attorney has to deal 
with ! in truth, our only object with them is to 
keep them ; hut there are other folks of whom 
we are only anxious to get quit, as soon as 
business will allow us; these are our profes- 
sional brethren ! I need scarcely observe that 
I write only for such young men as are enter- 
ing on their legal career with the honest and 
commendable intention of acquiring a station 
in the respectable class of the profession; a 
station that can only be acquired by respectable 
business, carried on in a respectable manner. 
9 * 


202 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


There is no term, however, in use in our pro- 
fession, so general and yet so equivocal as this 
same word “ respectable.” By a sort of con- 
ventional rule, the appellation is liberally 
bestowed on every attorney, of whatever class 
and however moderate his pretensions, so long 
as he has, whether by ingenuity or good luck, 
contrived to escape a hostile motion to strike 
him off the roll. My construction of the word 
is somewhat more rigorous; I will explain 
myself by negatives — by describing that class 
of business, and those men who, in my estima- 
tion, are decidedly not respectable. I am 
happy to say that in this portion of my task I 
speak from report, not from personal knowl- 
edge, but I will only mention such matters as I 
firmly believe have been given to me on good 
authority. 

Before I describe the non - respectable of our 
body, it may be expedient to advert very briefly 
to our relative position in society, as a profes- 
sional class; for without a little explanation on 
that head, it is very difficult to conceive how 
such a medley of extremes should be found in 
a common pursuit, where a common system of 
education is adopted, from an age generally so 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


203 


early that the taste and habits of the pupil can 
not be supposed to have been previously 
formed. It must he confessed that till within 
the last forty or fifty years, an attorney’s title 
to he ranked even among the middle classes of 
society, was very equivocal. Mr. Latitat was 
the rogue of every farce — the knave of every 
novel : his occupation made him adroit and 
intelligent, hut it also made him suspected ; it 
frequently brought him into personal contact 
with the dishonest and degraded, and he 
acquired, often undeservedly, a taint of reputa- 
tion from the very circumstance that enabled 
him to understand, and by understanding to 
defeat, the arts and stratagems of villainy. 
Legal business itself was at this period of a 
very inferior stamp : now and then cases might 
arise on family settlements — on real titles — on 
complicated relations of debtor and creditor — 
or doubtful customs in trade or commerce; 
but these were comparatively rare, and by no 
means constituted the bulk of legal practice; 
that was to be found in petty personal disputes 
or delinquencies — in small controversy between 
small people. Law too, like everything else, 
was comparatively cheap, and even the bar, 


204 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


though always to a certain extent the resource 
of pauper -aristocracy, was scarcely regarded 
in any other light than a refuge for the desti- 
tute, suited to the youngest sons of younger 
brothers, who had no turn for the army, and 
no character for the church. In our days, 
though this inferior business still remains, and 
is even extended as population has extended, 
and the lower classes have acquired greater 
property, yet it by no means forms the prin- 
cipal inducement to enter the profession. So 
intimately has commerce become interwoven 
with law, in all its branches, that there is 
scarcely any important transaction in which 
the merchant can engage, that does not more 
or less require the counsel of his solicitor, till 
long familiarity with the subject has made him 
half a lawyer himself. The law of insurance, 
the law of principal and factor, of lien, of 
partnership, of bankruptcy, of bills of ex- 
change, and many other heads that might be 
mentioned, enter into the daily affairs of the 
counting-house. So many, too, of our patri- 
cian families have of late years found it con- 
venient to place their sons in mercantile, or 
banking houses, and consequently to raise 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


205 


capital by the mortgage or sale of tbeir patri- 
monial estates, that questions of pure convey- 
ancing often become entangled with commer- 
cial law; and the nobleman, not less than the 
merchant, is thrown more frequently and more 
entirely into the hands of his attorney. The 
immense increase of public companies and 
parliamentary business, and even the growing 
importance and independence of our colonies, 
have largely contributed to swell the stream of 
professional profit, and at the same time to 
purify its source, by giving a legitimate and 
acknowledged value to the solicitor’s services. 
This gradual elevation of our duties has natur- 
ally led to the introduction among us of many 
young men from that rank of life, who, less 
than half a century ago, would have spurned 
the calling as derogatory to their birth ; and 
attorneys in the higher walks of the profession, 
have in many instances, established for them- 
selves an acknowledged title to rank with the 
first circles; though I do not say the most 
fashionable, for I by no means class these 
among the most worthy, or the most import- 
ant ; but though by this accession of better 
born, and therefore generally better educated 


206 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


men, we have improved our social position, 
and can now enumerate hundreds among us, 
who are not less gentlemen by hirtli, by feeling, 
and by manners, than we are by act of parlia- 
ment, there still remains too much of that lov? 
business which was once the staple of out 
trade, not to attract many low people into the 
profession ; the rather because if once admitted 
there, the best prizes are as open to them as to 
others, if by happy accident they can insinu- 
ate themselves into the first or second class of 
competition : indeed to be an attorney is itself 
a great step in life, a sort of gentility of station, 
in the estimate of the lower ranks of shopkeep- 
ers and mechanics; nor does it require any 
great outlay of money to give a son a title to 
the name, provided no lavish expenditure has 
been made in his previous education. Let it 
not be supposed that I feel contempt for this 
laudable and even humble ambition ; far from 
it, for I profess principles too liberal, as well in 
politics as I trust in Christian faith, to deride 
it ; but I still think myself at liberty to pro- 
test against the absurdity, as well as the silly 
pretension of placing a boy of sixteen in an 
attorney’s office, without any preparatory edm 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


207 


cation beyond the Latin grammar, and too 
often less than that, simply to qualify him to 
be a gentleman, whilst his brothers are tinkers 
and tailors, and his father a Bow-street runner 
or sheriff’s officer. 

I have digressed a little, however, from my 
subject. I only wish to explain how it hap- 
pens, that in a profession which is now justly 
esteemed a liberal one, and in which we daily 
meet with men well qualified to adorn any 
rank of life, we should yet more frequently fall 
in with others whose manners would exclude 
them from our servants’ hall, and whose char- 
acters would compel us to count our spoons, if 
by any accident they gained admission there. 
It is but too true that we have among us a 
large body of adventurers, who have little edu- 
cation, less principle, and neither capital nor 
connexion. It is probable that in some in- 
stances their friends have selected them for 
attorneys, because they have early exhibited a 
predilection for that speculative inquiry into 
the rights of property, which, by a more sum- 
mary process, leads those who have no relatives 
to the gallows. 

There are various ways by which these ad- 


208 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


venturers contrive to work out a livelihood in 
a “ respectable ” manner. The secret of their 
art is to establish a familiar acquaintance with 
any humble class where the ceremony of spe- 
cial introduction is of small account, and in 
the words of the play, to “ push it as far as it 
will go.” There are many classes of this de- 
scription daily to he found in our crowded 
metropolis ; and all of them, either from their 
helpless ignorance, or dishonest pursuits, stand 
in daily need of “ a professional adviser.” 
Among the helpless, may he enumerated the 
thoughtless sailor just returned from sea — the 
inferior tradesman trembling on the verge of 
bankruptcy — the pigeon who, after plucking, 
hesitates between reform and desperation — the 
ruined spendthrift, hut expectant heir — and yet 
more frequently the beggared gentleman that 
prefers enjoying his last hundred within the 
prison -walls, to dividing it among fifty credi- 
tors at the rate of sixpence in the pound. The 
dishonest class is, perhaps, less accessible, hut 
far more profitable : it consists of cent per cent 
money-lenders and annuity - mongers ; of bro- 
kers who will discount a six months’ hill on 
the security of a watch or a well -secured post- 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


209 


obit; bell -proprietors and blacklegs of Eegent 
street and St. James’s; swindlers of the turf; 
smugglers by profession ; “ fences ” of the lanes 
and alleys of the town, including of course nine- 
tenths of the pawn -brokers and dealers in 
marine stores ; and finally, all the thieves and 
pickpockets in the bills of mortality. 

It may excite a little wonder among the un- 
initiated, how any attorney, however poor or 
adventurous, can find it worth while to seek for 
clients in the first of these wretched classes ; 
and it is true enough that if on first acquaint- 
ance, he finds them in utter destitution, that 
acquaintance will be but a short one; but 
even among the poorest, there are often decent 
pickings to be found. A glass of grog with 
an open-hearted seaman in a public- house at 
Wapping will extract the whole history of his 
hardships, his hopes, and his disappointments 
for the last ten years of his life; his tales of 
sad mishaps will win the heart of his legal 
auditor, as surely as Desdemona’s; sympathy 
begets confidence; and in less than an hour, 
the sympathizing friend receives instructions 
for a dozen actions agaiust captain, mate, and 
owners, for sundry assaults, and false imprison- 


210 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


ments, and a long arrear of unpaid wages* 
witnesses are found on board as surely as if 
they were entered in the ship’s manifest ; and 
as one good turn deserves another, the plaintiff 
and the witnesses frequently change places, and 
endless litigation is extracted from a single 
glass of rum and water. If the affair is com- 
promised by ten or twenty pounds, paid by the 
defendant to get out of the scrape in the short- 
est and cheapest way, the attorney and his 
client go shares (the first taking the lion’s part), 
and the poor sailor recommends his kind and 
disinterested friend to half the merchant service. 
A dozen of such adventures — and his fortune 
is made ! So in the other cases, the tottering 
shop-keeper will accept bills for a thousand, to 
get the temporary aid of fifty pounds, and 
pledge all his last year’s stock as security, at a 
tenth of the cost-price: a fiat of bankruptcy 
speedily follows ; and his friend in need is the 
first to help him out of the difficulty, and 
insure his certificate by proving for the thou- 
sand pounds : the plucked pigeon will stake his 
soul for one more chance at the tables, and the 
legal adventurer would sell it to the devil for 
six -pence beyond the sum advanced: the 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


211 


ruined j|endthrift is equally ready to charge 
his reversion at five hundred per cent, pro- 
vided the cash is immediately forthcoming, and 
gratefully recommends his “ friends ” to every 
expectant heir in her Majesty’s household 
troops : the beggared gentleman, after two 
weeks’ confinement, speculates on being dis- 
charged, and having perchance, forty pounds 
still left, gives thirty of it to “his lawyer” to 
“ carry him through ” the court. 

But the dishonest trade is a better thing by 
far. It requires some dexterity to gain a locus 
standi in it : a man must not be too nice, and 
the less he says about character the better ; a 
little hard, but clever swearing now and then, 
will stand him in good stead ; for nothing tells 
more with clients of this class, than a dexterity 
in drawing safe affidavits. Let an attorney 
once “ get his name up ” for this, and he has 
bought a free admission for life into the whole 
fraternity; and then there are indeed glorious 
opportunities, the least of them not to be des- 
pised! — suits in equity to set aside annuity 
transactions; colorable bills of sale, to defeat 
the executions of just creditors ; assigneeships of 
bankrupt estates ; gaming - house prosecutions ; 


212 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


and, “ sweeter far,'’ their compromise; ex. 
chequer informations and qui tam actions, — 
language fails to enumerate a tenth part of the 
prolific sources of practice to the happy man 
who once secures the affections of the charming 
set. The business of the Old Bailey is a step 
lower, hut even here, much “ good can he 
done : ” it is no had thing to have the run of 
Newgate, and be cock of the walk at Clerken- 
well Sessions -house. Independently of the 
sweets of the police-office, and the profitable 
eclat of daily figuring in the newspaper reports, 
as “ attending to watch ” a score of cases in 
every part of the metropolis, it is notorious that 
when a thief is once captured in a “ lagging ” 
matter, he begins to set his affairs in order; 
and many of these fellows are “ well off in the 
world,” having abundant occasion for pro- 
fessional assistance in the operation. The 
special advantage of all business of this des- 
cription is the certainty of payment ; from the 
nature of the case, there can be no trust, and 
consequently there are no bills of costs ; every 
thing is done for ready money, and for a round 
sum — two guineas, ten, twenty, according to 
the emergency and the client’s means ; and if 


IN SEARCH OE PRACTICE. 


213 


the client is hanged, there the matter ends, 
without taxation and without complaint. 

There is still another class of legal adven- 
turers who are a scale higher in the estimation 
of the world, but with very little higher merit ; 
they are men who prowl about for bad debts, 
and dishonored hills: they call on tradesmen 
of the better order at Midsummer or Christmas, 
as punctually as the tax-gatherers, and inquire 
the extent of had and doubtful debts in their 
ledger : they buy them up according to circum- 
stances, and obtain a rich harvest, if they can 
purchase five or six hundred pounds due from 
a score of customers, at five shillings in the 
pound; twenty actions are thus secured, and 
as many writs issued on returning to office ; in 
half they recover nothing but the costs ; if in 
the remaining ten they can manage to average 
ten shillings in the pound, they are indem- 
nified for the purchase -money, and pocket the 
costs of twenty actions by the adventure, be- 
sides the frequent chance of being incidentally 
introduced to some half- ruined man, who 
wants an attorney’s aid to get whitewashed by 
bankruptcy, or the insolvent court. 

Thus I have explained the character of those 


1U 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


whom I exclude from the “ respectable ” class 
of my profession, whatever others may call 
them ; and these are the attorneys of whom I 
always feel a painful anxiety to get quit as soon 
as decency will allow ; but some address is re- 
quired to manage one’s intercourse with them, 
w T hen driven by necessity into communication. 
There is one peculiarity of disposition insepar- 
able from such fellows. They invariable try to 
snap some advantage at your personal cost, 
and if they fail, they uniformly pick a quarrel 
about nothing ; so certainly is it the case, that 
in common with all my liberal brethren, I am 
accustomed to infer the quality of a man’s 
clients by the “ sharpness ” of his practice, as 
it is termed, and I set him down for an Old 
Bailey attorney as a matter of course, if I find 
him grasping at undue advantage, or losing his 
temper in the attempt; a coarse, bullying 
manner, and disingenuous disposition, may be 
fairly assumed to indicate the accustomed 
accociate of thieves and blacklegs ; they always 
do with me, and it is one of the few points on 
which I have never found myself mistaken. 

There are three important rules to be 
observed in dealing with these men, and by 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


215 


close attention to them , the most inexperienced 
solicitor on the roll may escape unscathed. 

The first is never to be seduced into any 
“ without prejudice” negotiation; always keep 
them at arm’s length, and hold strictly to the 
rights, as well as the rules of business : these 
sort of men are rarely formidable in fair open 
fight, and with very few exceptions are as 
profoundly ignorant of law, as they are shrewd 
and over-reaching in practice; therefore lay 
yourself under no obligation to them for time, 
for admissions, for concession of any kind ; nor 
ever hope to benefit your client by amicable 
overtures of reference or arrangement out of 
court : you cannot, it is true, safely assume 
that their honest wish is to try the issue, and 
that consequently they are insincere in any 
attempts to anticipate the result by less ex- 
pensive process; for too many of them con- 
tract with their clients to “ carry them through ” 
for a given sum, and hence they are gainers by 
an abrupt termination of the suit ; but as a 
general maxim, take it for granted that a 
“ sharp practicer ” will force litigation to the 
utmost possible extremity, if his client is a 
man of substance; and therefore that all ovei* 


216 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


tures of compromise are only made to increase 
costs by discussion, or gain time till some 
absent witness is forthcoming. Meet him 
therefore in court, and meet him no where else. 
I have often been trapped by the honest desire 
of getting my client as well as myself out of 
such dirty hands, into costly discussion, but I 
never once succeeded in the extrication on 
better terms than I should have obtained by an 
adverse verdict. My second rule is to abjure 
all personal communication with suspected 
men: very little direct intercourse is necessary 
with the opposite attorney in the ordinary 
course of an action, and what little is indis- 
pensable, can be managed better, and far more 
safely in writing than verbally; even letters 
should be dry and laconic, consisting of little 
more than the date, subscription, and address, 
and the simple monosyllabic reply of “ yes ” or 
“no” between the formal parts. But if, as 
does sometimes occur, the man’s impudence 
will force an interview, and you cannot pru- 
dently kick him down stairs, my third rule is 
of the utmost importance, namely, to muster all 
your establishment as witnesses of your misfortune: 
I am not enjoining caution that I do not prac- 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


217 


tice. Some years ago an attorney called on 
me — a man whose word I would not have 
credited had he pledged it with a halter round 
his neck. The door from my own office into 
my clerk’s was wide ajar, and he saw me at my 
desk as he stealthily entered ; however, he had 
the decency to ask, 

“ Is Mr. Sharpe at home ? ” 

“ Ho ; ” replied the clerk. 

“ Ho ! why I see him in his office.” 

“ lie is not at home, Sir.” 

“ Well, I must speak to his ghost then,” he 
rejoined, approaching my room; there was no 
time to he lost; I rose from my seat, rushed 
into the clerk’s office, nearly overturning the 
intruder in my haste, and angrily exclaimed to 
my clerk, “What do you mean by this, you 
young rascal? did I not tell you when Mr. 
Tricker called, to deny me ? I tell you I am 
not at home, Sir; I am attending the Common 
Pleas!” and slamming the door in his face, 
and audibly turning the key, I left him aghast 
at finding for once his own impudence out- 
done ! He left the place as soon as he recovered 
*rom his amazement, and I never was troubled 
by him again. It is not always so easy to 
10 


218 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


release yourself, and if you are condemned to 
be closeted, and rudeness is out of place, the 
simple course is to ring forthwith for your 
common law clerk, and desire him to search 
for a letter of the 30th of February last, in the 
largest bundle of papers in the room ! You 
have no other chance of safety with a professed 
affidavit - monger. 

These are the sort of men of whom, as I 
have observed, I always wish to get rid as soon 
as possible ; it is to be lamented, however, that 
even among the worthiest of the profession, 
there are men to be found as difficult to 
manage, though for very different reasons. It 
must be owned that there is a something in the 
nature of our daily duty, harassed as we are 
by a multiplicity of minute details, and hourly 
irritated by the absurdities of clients, the care- 
less blunders of clerks, and the excitement of 
all litigation, that tends to exacerbate the 
temper ; though nine times out of ten I have 
found that the direst feuds between principals, 
have originated in the quarrels and misstate- 
ments of their respective clerks. The young 
gentlemen, in their impetuous zeal for their 
employers’ interest, are but too prone to exhibit 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


219 


their small powers in grasping at a small 
advantage, and where they succeed, to aggra- 
vate the mortification of their rival by exulta- 
tion, — where they fail, to vent their spleen by 
insult. This contemptible rivalry displays 
itself more in that bear-garden, the master’s 
office, on taxation of costs, than on any other 
occasion. A squabble of half an hour about 
three -and -sixpence sends both parties home in 
the temper of wild cats ; they report the scene ; 
the attorney espouses the angry feelings of his 
clerk, instead of rebuking him for his ungen- 
tlemanly temper; and the principals become 
imperceptibly involved in recriminating corre- 
spondence, followed up by a host of alternate 
applications to the court, that serve nobody but 
some hungry junior who acquires briefs by his 
skill in practice. I remember a contest of this 
kind carried on between one of the first offices 
in London, and a little deformed attorney of 
the very lowest stamp, which lasted for several 
years with varying success, till at last it was 
referred to the master to decide on which side the 
pecuniary balance lay. On setting off costs on 
one side against costs on the other, to the 
amount of more than three hundred pounds on 


220 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


either, the balance due to the successful party 
was exactly £4. 3s. 2d . ! The whole of this 
mighty feud began in the irregular service of 
an attachment for non-payment of some 
fifteen pounds of costs, hut enough vindictive 
feeling was displayed to have done credit to a 
Highland or American chief. It is our duty 
to uphold our clerks where they are decidedly 
right; it is not less so to rebuke them with 
severity where they are clearly wrong, even 
while we make large allowance for their zeal : 
hut above all, it behooves us, and I wish I 
could honestly say that I had always adhered 
to my own doctrine, to guard ourselves against 
all participation in their feuds. 

How and then, however, our professional 
squabbles are entirely of our own creation; 
and then they are unpardonable. There is but 
one case in which I can allow an apology for 
them; and that is where, with the full con- 
sciousness that our client is morally, if not 
legally right, and that he has been victimized 
by a swindler, we find our professional oppo- 
nent lending himself to the fraud of his client, 
and on the convenient but erroneous principle 
that it is his duty to make the best he can of 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


221 


his employer’s case, supporting him by tech- 
nical astuteness. I have very recently experi- 
enced this provocation. I was destitute of 
evidence to prove that a man who had filed a 
bill against my client for indemnity against a 
covenant to repair, had already received a sum 
of <£400 to cover the risk. I knew it to be the 
fact, because the man himself had admitted it 
to me long before litigation, or even the risk of 
it, was ever contemplated ; but the admission 
was made in confidential conversation, and 
therefore I could not be a witness. By the 
advice of my counsel, and under the impression 
that the plaintiff w r as a man of principle, as he 
had long made loud religious professions, I 
filed a cross bill for a discovery; but I was 
mistaken in my calculation: he got into the 
hands of a solicitor otherwise respectable, w T ho 
from peculiar circumstances must have known 
how the fact really stood, but who felt little 
scruple in putting in an ingenious answer that 
successfully shuffled out of the admission, and 
thus our expectation of evidence was defeated, 
and the man pocketed his <£400 twice over, 
gratefully appropriating a part of it to present 
his unscrupulous adviser with a piece of plate 


222 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


ultra Iris costs ! I hope for the sake of both 
parties that it was unmerited. Cases like this 
cannot fail to raise the bile ; and more especially 
when, as in that which I have been mentioning, 
one feels assured that the proceedings are 
pressed on merely for costs, against a perfect 
conviction of their injustice. But it is very 
rare that we have such fair excuse for our 
irritability. 

We should steadily hear in mind, that after 
all, we are only the attorneys, not the principals 
in the cause; it is generally from losing sight 
of this, that we are betrayed into excitement 
and ill-will; exactly in proportion as we do 
lose sight of it, and identify ourselves with our 
client’s feelings, we not only expose ourselves 
to the risk of quarreling, but incapacitate 
ourselves from discharging our duty to him 
with calm and dispassionate judgment. When 
however, it occurs, as of course it will occasion- 
ally, that we are opposed to a man who blusters 
and writes angry letters, the same course should 
be taken as with the affidavit -monger — avoid 
all personal interviews, and write your replies 
as laconically as is consistent with courtesy ; a 
long letter, unless confined to simple explana- 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


223 


tion, will rarely produce peace ; and it is an 
excellent maxim that I learnt from one of the 
most honorable and respected men in the pro- 
fession, Mr. Greaves, never to answer an angry 
communication, till it has lain four -and -twenty 
hours on your desk. 

Whenever I see an attorney bristling up his 
quills in porcupine fashion, before any body 
thinks of attacking him, I always write him 
down an ass, unless his juvenile appearance can 
plead inexperience in behalf of ignorance : ours 
is of necessity a rough profession in many of 
its encounters, and we must expect rough 
knocks in it, and learn to hear them ; but I 
deprecate our needlessly provoking each other 
to inflict them, and I am convinced, that by 
following the principles I have suggested, many 
a blow may be saved, and the disposition to 
give the blow often restrained. 

While I sincerely believe that there are very 
many in the profession with whom we may 
safely trust ourselves in frank discussion of the 
merits of our case, with a view to avoid expense 
and possibility to put an end to threatened 
litigation, I am compelled to say as a general 
rule, that it is by no means prudent to enter 


224 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 

into any irregular correspondence, either by 
letter or in person, even to restore peace. I 
wish it were otherwise, for I am convinced that 
justice might often be done between contending 
parties, without law and at little costs, if their 
respective solicitors could place that confidence 
in each other which would insure an honest 
overture being received with equal cordiality. 
It is clear that every difference involving no 
legal question, can only arise from a misunder- 
standing on facts, or from irritation of temper ; 
and all experienced attorneys are well aware 
that not one case in fifty brought under our 
notice, will be found to turn upon a new point 
of law, or upon such nice distinctions of 
circumstance as to take it out of an acknowl- 
edged principle. "Where error as to fact, or 
excitement of temper involves men of respect- 
ability in a controversy about their respective 
rights, how easy is it for a clear-headed at- 
torney to get at the truth by a little open con- 
versation with his opponent, if that opponent 
will only meet him with the same laudable 
purpose of setting the parties right ! nor r if I 
may judge from my own experience, is this 
conciliatory disposition a losing game in the 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


225 


long run : it may be attended by a sacrifice of 
costs in the particular case, but on tbe other 
hand, it insures a return of your client on 
every difficulty. 

Such, however, is our unfortunate jealousy 
of each other, and so powerful the habit of 
zealously espousing the client’s cause, whether 
right or wrong, that a solicitor’s character 
must stand very high indeed, to warrant us in 
any conciliatory appeal to him, with a view to 
an amicable arrangement. I have known the 
strongest disposition professed to avoid ex- 
tremes, and followed up too by an apparently 
frank exchange of explanation ; when after all, 
the opposite attorney has abruptly terminated 
the negotiation, throwing the fault on his 
client’s obstinacy, and availing himself of the 
knowledge which he has thus acquired of your 
case, to prepare himself the better to meet and 
to defeat it; for it must be recollected that 
though letters may be written “ without preju- 
dice,” and thus protected from all attempt to 
misapply them, knowledge or information can 
not, from the nature of the case, be conveyed 
without prejudice, unless you could insure a 
man’s divesting his mind, as jurymen are ab- 
10 * 


226 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


surdly directed to do, of all that he has pre- 
viously heard. I heartily wish that attorneys 
of the respectable class would more habitually 
repose a friendly confidence in each other, 
though I scarcely know how it can be ex- 
pected, till some better protection can be 
devised for amicable negotiation. 

Nor again, must any attorney blindly trust 
to the good -nature or indulgence of an oppo- 
nent, however respectable, or however person- 
ally friendly. I was nearly involved in utter 
ruin by a blunder of this kind, though I was 
engaged with one of the largest and most 
respectable houses in the city, with the heads 
of which I have always been on the best under- 
standing. A client of mine, a trustee, had 
sold the trust estates on most advantageous 
terms. The purchase was to be completed by 
a certain day. The solicitors in question were 
acting for a mortgagee whom we had given 
notice that we would pay off out of the pur- 
chase-money. When the day arrived, I was 
unable to complete the purchase, in conse- 
quence of my conveyancer having been called 
out of town by the fatal illness of his mother, 
and taken with him the draft reconveyance of 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


227 


the mortgage. Believing myself to be in fair 
and friendly hands, I gave myself no trouble 
about it, and in a few weeks after, being then 
ready, I proposed to settle the transaction. To 
my utter amazement, these gentlemen obsti- 
nately refused, insisting that their client was 
entitled to a fresh notice of six months, before 
he was paid off! There was no pretext for 
saying that he had lost any opportunity of 
otherwise investing his money, but “ sic volo f 
sic jubeo” was all their argument. Meanwhile, 
the purchaser had his money ready, and in- 
sisted on completing the purchase, or being let 
off his bargain ; while my client menaced me 
with responsibility for any loss of price, if 
driven to a re-sale of the estates : that loss, in 
all probability, would have been many thou- 
sand pounds. I appealed, but I appealed in 
vain to the liberality of my city friends; their 
six months’ notice they would have, if I died 
in jail as the consequence; my trustee client 
had obviously no power to spare me ; I was 
saved by the liberal kindness of the purchaser, 
who, though anxious to be released from his 
contract, would not buy that release at my 
expense, and consented to wait till the six 


228 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


months had expired. I might on three occa- 
sions since, have re -borrowed the money for 
other clients from the city mortgagee, but I 
have had at least the satisfaction of declining 
further business of the kind with such punc- 
tilious gentlemen. 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


229 


CHAPTEE XV. 


44 Mutua benevolentia utetur cum sciat se tanto plus praeetitisse 
...... Ipse litigantium auxiliator egebit auxilio.” 

Quinct. de Inst. Oral 

I have found it far more difficult to regulate 
my intercourse with counsel by any systematic 
rules, than to manage either my client or 
opposing solicitors. We certainly have less 
provocation to temper in this case, because we 
can never come into personal collision with the 
members of the bar, except in open court, 
where the authority of the judge is, or ought 
to be, exerted to preserve not only the peace, 
but the decorum of society. I have sometimes 
witnessed a great deal of overbearing insolence 
from barristers of every standing; but never 
except from men naturally coarse, and like 
some solicitors that I have described, mere 
adventurers, though often successful ones, in 
their profession. So far, however, as my own 


230 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


experience has gone, these men are exceptions 
to the general rule. I recollect one occasion 
about eighteen years ago, when a learned bar- 
rister was defending a prisoner whom I was 
prosecuting, his eloquence was at a loss for a 
better argument, and therefore in addressing 
the jury, he charged me with having falsely 
instructed counsel! his client was convicted, 
and thus the jury showed their sense of the 
value of the charge. I was then so young that 
1 knew not how slight was the insult conveyed 
by such professional attacks ; hut being my 
opponent’s equal in all the adventitious circum- 
stances of education and social position, and 
somewhat his superior in birth and connexion, 
I resented the supposed affront by giving him 
my card. I cannot describe my amazement, 
when instead of receiving the hint in silence he 
tossed it from him with an air of affected 
indifference, saying, “I throw it back with 
contempt;” but taking especial care at the 
same time to fix the attention of the judge on 
this daring violation of forensic privilege, so 
as to avoid the hare possibility of unpleasant 
consequences. The obliging interposition of 
Mr. Law, the present recorder, healed my 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


231 


wounded feelings; or I might have been he- 
trayed by anger into a very disagreeable posi- 
tion. These attacks, however, are, as I have 
observed, rarely made on solicitors of acknowl- 
edged character ; nor, in truth, could I quote 
another such instance towards myself in nearly 
twenty -five years’ acquaintance with the courts; 
it is because it is almost unique, that I think it 
worth mentioning. The usual style of inso- 
lence is of a very different description : it is a 
supercilious hauteur that implies total disre- 
gard of the attorney, the client, the cause, and 
the fee. On the latter point, I incline to think 
that the disregard is entirely assumed, but in 
all other particulars, it is too natural to be 
insincere. This is a professional folly that 
often entails its own punishment, for I have 
good reason to know that gentlemen of this 
character always lose business, unless they can 
command their briefs in' spite of the attorneys, 
and are rarely employed of spontaneous good- 
will, but only because our clients will not be 
satisfied without retaining them. It may be a 
good policy of our clients, but it is an expen- 
sive one; for many a time have I been com- 
pelled to employ two leaders when one vould 


232 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


have sufficed, and when only the costs of one 
were allowed, that I might make sure of 
having a man who would condescend to read 
his brief, and listen to a suggestion even from 
the attorney. What a contrast to such men 
was afforded by G arrow, Best, Vaughan, 
Gurney, and even Sir Vicary Gibbs ! And in 
the present day, though Campbell is supposed 
to be difficult of approach, I never found him 
inaccessible ; while Wilde and F. Pollock will 
readily and kindly listen to every word, 
whether to the purpose or not. Brougham 
was another most ready listener, as well as a 
most efficient advocate; I believe that many 
regret yet more than he does himself, that he 
ever left the bar for the bench. Erie, though 
reserved, is always courteous to formality ; 
Talfourd is not only courteous, but cordial; 
and B. V. Bichards pays more good-natured 
attention to one’s case, and fights it through 
with more vigor than any man I ever met with 
except Wilde or Gurney. The success of Law 
and Thesiger, distinguished as they both un- 
questionably are for forensic power, is perhaps 
yet more to be attributed to their frank good- 
humor. I never employed Follett, and there- 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


233 


fore am unable to speak of his merits or 
demerits in this particular. I was once op- 
posed to him on a reference before Serjeant 
Storks many years ago : and as he was also 
opposed to the Serjeant on every legal point 
that occurred in it, I conclude he knows some- 
thing of law. I might mention too many of a 
very different disposition, but it is not fair in 
an anonymous work to quote the names of 
private individuals to their prejudice. 

But to return to my immediate subject. If 
we find ourselves uncourteously received by 
counsel, 1 think that the fault is essentially our 
own : it may happen with such men as Scarlett 
used to be, and perhaps, with two or three 
others of the present day, that they are raised 
by talent, and yet more frequently by happy 
opportunities, to a distinguished position that 
renders them independent of the good-will of 
the attorneys. When this is the case, if they 
haughtily forget the kind offices that first 
found for them opportunities of attaining 
acknowledged distinction, it only shows that 
their minds are little, however great their law : 
we should rather feel pity for them, than 
trouble ourselves about the contempt they may 


234 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


affect for us. With all inferior men, however, 
we have the remedy in our own hands, had we 
only sufficient esprit tie corps to use it. I recol- 
lect when, several years ago, we were obliged to 
employ four or five leaders in every stage of 
every cause in Chancery, because we never 
could reckon with certainty on the attendance 
of even one ! This man was at the Rolls when 
we wanted him before the Chancellor, and that 
man was in the vice- Chancellor’s court when 
wanted at the Rolls. The solicitors made 
common cause of it, and published their deter- 
mination to give no brief to any counsel that 
would not confine himself to one court. The 
bar blustered and talked big, and such was our 
jealousy of each other, and our want of union, 
that our purposed reform was almost defeated; 
hut the demand was reasonable, and every man 
of good feeling was convinced that the interests 
and the money of our clients ought not to he 
sacrificed to the grasping cupidity of counsel. 
I think it was Shadwell who first announced 
his intention of confining himself to one court, 
— the vice- Chancellor’s. His example was 
gradually followed, and we have now for 
several years had the advantage of knowing 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


235 


where to find our leaders when we want them ; 
the victory is to be ascribed to our having the 
good sense to avail ourselves of the power 
which the bar, not less than ourselves, are 
conscious that we have over them. I am far 
from saying that this power ought to be, or 
indeed could be successfully exerted on every 
petty occasion, but undoubtedly it might be 
fairly brought into play against any barrister 
who habitually insulted us ; and even that share 
of it, which each individual enjoys in propor- 
tion to the extent of his business, ought to be 
sufficient, if managed with dexterity, to protect 
him from any repetition of personal oflense. 
Barristers have at least a3 much if not more 
sensibility about the failure of clients than 
ourselves, however they may affect a lofty 
disregard of the emoluments of their profession. 
I have often been amused at the indirect 
appeals, and sometimes the downright men- 
dacity of cousins, connexions, and friends, for 
a stray brief, or a casual motion on behalf of a 
“ relation at the bar, if my engagements to 
other gentlemen allowed me ! ” 

Independently, however, of the influence 
which we derive from this acknowledged 


236 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


dependence upon us, and which we are well 
warranted in using for our own protection, I 
cannot help thinking that we may find a yet 
better security for due respect in our own 
deportment. We must always hear in mind 
that in point of etiquette our professional grade 
is lower, and therefore we are not justified in 
expecting deference as lawyers, however well 
entitled to insist on courtesy as gentlemen. 
This should he the limit of our pretensions ; it 
is only when this is forgotten that we have any 
title to complain. We are excusable in resent- 
ing any imputation against our conduct as 
gentlemen, let it proceed from whom it may, or 
any sneering recognition of our station. But 
we are not entitled to assume a professional 
equality with the bar, merely because it draws 
its immediate support from us. There is, it is 
true, an exclusive temper in its conventional 
etiquette, that, in these liberal times, is perfectly 
ridiculous. I have known a brother refuse to 
dine with a brother in an assize town, the one 
being counsel, the other attorney, because it 
was held contra bonos mores at the bar mess. 
Springing as this does from the jealous feeling 
that barristers entertain of each other, lest 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


237 


undue means should he exerted in familiar 
intercourse to obtain briefs, it is not less con- 
fessedly disgraceful to themselves as a body, 
than it is offensive to those whom it insults : 
this exclusiveness reflects no discredit on our 
class, though much, avowedly, on their own. 
Against offenses of this kind we cannot protect 
ourselves ; but against any offered to us indi- 
vidually, we easily may, by always observing 
that self-respect which commands respect, invito 
animo , from others. I have mentioned the only 
instance that has ever occurred to myself, in 
wdiich I could fairly quote language applied to 
me by counsel, of which I feel justified in 
complaining; and I attribute my exemption 
from an annoyance to which I have daily seen 
others exposed, principally to the care which I 
have always anxiously taken never to lay myself 
open to reproach for conduct unworthy of an 
honorable member of my profession ; but in 
some degree also to a demeanor implying at 
once perfect equality of station, and yet 
respectful deference to superior knowledge and 
professional rank. We should recollect that as 
the military officer is nobody except on the 
parade, or in the ball-room, so the lawyer loses 


238 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


all distinction out of Westminster Hall, and 
when we meet in the world, we meet on equal 
terms; this is perfectly consistent with the 
discipline of the ranks. 

Occasions do now and then occur where the 
self-command that I am recommending be- 
comes extremely difficult to practice; more 
particularly when we are attending gentlemen 
high in legal office. I remember a case of this 
kind with the late Master Stratford. A solici- 
tor of great eminence was attending him ; the 
Master had already intimated a very strong 
opinion on the matter in dispute, and it is well 
known that he was not very well pleased with 
contradiction, nor much disposed to listen to 
it; the solicitor, however, was resolute to he 
heard, and finding there was little chance in 
any other way, determined on angering him into 
silence; rather a novel means of obtaining an 
audience, but in this instance quite successful. 

“I was observing, Master Stratford — ” 

“ I have heard your observations, Sir, 
{angrily ,) till I am weary of them ; I beg you 
will he silent, I have quite made up my mind.” 

“ I see you have, Sir, hut it strikes me 
that — ” 


IN SEARCH 09 PRACTICE. 


239 


“ I really cannot lielp wliat strikes you, Sir, 
I shall not hear another word.” 

“Iam sorry for it, Sir, I have a great many 
yet to offer.” 

“ Indeed ! (half rising from his chair, and then 
resuming it,) pray, how long may you intend to 
talk?” 

“ Probably half an hour, Sir ; it depends on 
the attention you will be so good as to 
give me.” 

“Half an hour, Sir! did you say half an 
hour, Sir ? do you know who you are talking 
to?” 

“ It may take me a trifle longer, Master 
Stratford, it depends on yourself in some 
measure.” 

“ On me, Sir ! on me! insufferable insolence! 
half an hour! depends on myself ! pray what 
may your name be, Sir? ” 

“ Fairfield, Sir. If you are ready I will 
begin.” 

Here the learned Master drew back his chair, 
and actually gaped in astonished frenzy at this 
unwonted defiance of his wrath, during which 
Mr Fairfield coolly proceeded with his argu- 
ment, wholly undisturbed by the judicial 


240 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 

agitation, and quoted cases by the dozen. 
Meanwhile his client, an honest tradesman who 
knew as little of the etiquette of the Master’s 
office as of St. J ames’s, being weary of standing, 
seated himself on the nearest chair. This new 
offense actually bewildered poor Stratford ; he 
looked from the solicitor to the client, and 
from the client to the solicitor, in mute amaze- 
ment, wholly regardless of the argument and 
the authorities, when at this instant a servant 
boy entered the august presence with the coal- 
scuttle. A happy idea flashed across the 
Master’s mind. Eising precipitately from his 
chair, and grasping the lad by the arm, he 
forced him into it. 

“ Here, Jack, take my chair ! take my chair! 
I don’t see why one gentleman should not sit 
down as well as another ! ” 

The frightened boy took the chair; Fairfield, 
who was a man of uncommon talent, that 
justified as it was supported by uncommon 
assurance, continued speaking, as if uncon- 
scious of the substitution ; the farce was too 
much even for the Master’s wrath; he laughed 
himself into good humor, heard the argument 
to the end, and, mirabile dicta, altered hie 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


241 


opinion ; not the less readily perhaps, because 
he knew that Fairfield was a character not to 
be trifled with. 

A case not very dissimilar so far as regards 
its judicial dignity, occurred to myself. An 
action had been compromised between me and 
the opposite attorney, subject to a question of 
costs on which we could not agree, and which 
we were both perfectly willing to leave to the 
decision of the judge : with the view of obtain- 
ing his opinion we attended him on a summons, 
the terms of which had been previously 
arranged between us, “ to show cause why 
proceedings should not be stayed without 
payment of costs.” "We w T ere the first whose 
turn it was to enter. Ills lordship glanced at 
the summons, and seemed somew T hat doubtful 
as to its meaning, but began very sharply, not 
addressing himself particularly to either of us ; 

“ Well, Sir, what cause have you to show?” 

“We have agreed, my lord,” — 

“ Then if you are agreed, Sir, why do you 
trouble me? ( impatiently ,) call the next sum- 
mons.” 

“Your lordship has misunderstood me ; we 
agreed to leave it to” — 


242 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


“Well, Sir, you may take your leave when 
you please; ( snappishly ,) are the next parties 
ready ?” 

“ If you will not hear, my lord, it is useless to ” — 

“ Hot hear you, Sir ! {angrily.) I asked you 
what cause you had to show? and you can 
Show none.” 

“ It is not my business, my lord ; it is my 
summons.” 

“Well then., (turning short round to my 
opponent,) can you show cause ? ” 

“ I think I can, my lord, if you will listen 
to me.” 

“ And haven’t I been listening to you for the 
last half-hour ? go on, Sir.” 

“ The action has been compromised, my 
lord, hut” — 

“ Compromised ! then why do you come 
here ? (turning to his clerk,) call in the next. 
What business have you here ? ” 

“ Really, my lord” — I began, but in vain. 

H Can you show cause, Sir ? ” 

u I have already told your lordship that the 
♦turnons is mine.” 

“Then can you show cause, Sir?” turning 
again to the other. 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


243 


“ Not without explaining the case, my lord.” 

“ Then, gentlemen, you may go ; you may 
take your order : call in the next.” 

“ On these terms I cannot take it, my lord.” 

“I imposed no terms, Sir; the order is 
made — call in the next.” 

“Your lordship will” — 

“ Be silent, Sir ; you can show no cause — 
call in the next summons.” 

“ If your lordship will give me one minute ” — 

“Silence, Sir; I have decided the point; — 
are the next ready ?” 

And so we took nothing by our motion, 
though we retired deeply impressed with the 
condescending kindness, no less than the pro- 
found learning, and calm endurance of the 
judge. We went to the chambers of Mr. 
Baron Vaughan, explained the matter to him; 
and his lordship, with an affability and a kind- 
ness that I never can forget, not only settled 
the immediate point, hut perceiving that it 
involved a personality of feeling between our 
respective clients, entered into the whole subject 
with extra-judicial interest, and: suggested a 
course for the perfect arrangement of all 
remaining difficulties. Ilis lordship’s advice 


244 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


was followed to tlie letter, and with entire 
success. 

The dignity of the judicial ermine is not 
always thus pleasingly illustrated: the pre- 
eminent purity and lofty pretensions of the 
forensic body require occasionally to be vindi- 
cated from the bench, in a way less calculated, 
I confess, to secure our grateful acquiescence. 
It can only be attributed to a sense of what 
was due to the corps of which he has been so 
long a distinguished member, that Lord Abin- 
ger, in charging the jury on the trial of a 
cause lately before him, made use of the follow- 
ing expression in reference to a libellous attack 
on Mr. Thesiger and a solicitor of the name of 
Harmar : “It might be very well for Mr. 
Thesiger to treat that with contempt which 
Mr. Harmar, moving in the sphere of an attorney , 
might be called on with equal propriety to 
defend himself from the effects of.” It cannot 
but have given pain to a man of his lordship’s 
acknowledged urbanity, thus to find himself 
compelled by a sense of duty, to teach our 
whole profession a lesson of humility, and 
check those aspirings which might have led 
many of us in our ignorance, to place ourselves 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


245 


in reference to our domestic life, its feelings, 
and its wrongs, on a level with Mr. Thesiger ! 
Those who do not know how entirely the 
judicial mind enjoys its existence, separate and 
apart from the man who owns it, would he apt 
to mistake this judicial dictum for an illiberal 
sneer, unworthy of the judge, and foreign to 
the subject ! 

We sometimes find ourselves in a position, 
in which, it must be acknowledged, that 
temper and self-possession are sorely tried; yet 
it is one from which, by preserving both 
temper and presence of mind, we can always 
extricate ourselves with advantnge. . A prudent 
attorney will never put himself in the witness- 
box, if he can avoid it ; occasionally, however, 
it is inevitable, and when he gets there, he is 
considered fair game. I never was in this 
situation but twice : on one of these occasions 
I was under the fire of a cross-examination by 
Scarlett, no very enviable position even for the 
most honest witness, it must be owned. An 
important letter had been lost in my office ; lost 
by that excess of precaution which one some- 
times takes "tc ith very important documents ; I 
had locked it up in some drawer for security, 


246 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


and on the eve of trial could not discover where 
I had placed it; hut when engaged in consult- 
ing counsel on the case before I commenced the 
action, nearly three years before the cause was 
tried, I had introduced a copy of this letter into 
the statement, and had read the letter to my 
clerk while he transcribed it. I tendered this 
copy in evidence : of course Scarlett opposed 
its admission, for nearly the wdiole question of 
damages turned upon it. 

“ Do you commonly read letters for your clerks 
to copy, Mr. Sharpe ? ” 

“ No, Sir.” 

“ It would be rather an inconvenient practice?” 

“ Certainly.” 

“ Did you examine this copy after he had 
made it ? ” 

“Not that I remember; certainly not to 
check its accuracy.” 

“ Then you cannot swear to its accuracy ? ” 

“ I cannot ; hut I believe it to be accurate.” 

“Why?” 

“ Because it consists of but five lines, so there 
is not much room for error ; and I had every 
inducement to be accurate in consulting counsel 
on the merits of my client’s case.” 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


247 


“ Did you show the original letter to your 
counsel ? ” 

“ Most likely I did. I cannot be certain at 
this distance of time, but I have no doubt I 
did.” 

“ Then you did not at that time rely suffici- 
ently on your belief in its accuracy to trust to 
the copy only ? ” 

I saw the drift of the question, and hesitated ; 
of course I received the usual rough salute, 

“ No hesitation, Sir; did you then believe the 
copy to he accurate ? ” 

I still demurred — repeating the question, hut 
not answering. 

“ Come, Sir ! no fencing with me ; as an 
attorney you ought to know better.” 

I remained silent, pondering over the ques- 
tion. 

“ I will have an answer, Sir : did you then 
believe the copy to he faithful?” 

“ To what time do you refer ?” 

“ When you consulted counsel.” 

“ Three years ago ? ” 

“Yes, Sir; three years ago.” 

“ Then I will not answer your question, un- 
less his lordship decides against me.” 


248 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


My own counsel ought to have made the 
objection, hut, from discretion sometimes, they 
are too tardy in protecting a witness. Lord 
Denman, however, (who knew me well, and 
from whom I never but once received a harsh 
word, and even then I believed he designed it 
kindly, though it was unjust) came to my aid. 

“ What is your objection, Mr. Sharpe ? ” 

“Your Lordship will perceive that the ques- 
tion does not refer to present belief nor to a past 
fact , hut to the impression existing on my 
mind three years ago ; how is it possible for 
any man to state with certainty the precise 
limits of his belief , not as to what were the 
occurrences of to-day, or yesterday, but as to 
what he believed at a period so remote ? ” 

His lordship reflected for a moment, and 
overruled the question. 

“ It is not a fair one, Mr. Scarlett. Go on.” 

But Scarlett had had enough of it, and left 
me to gain a verdict without further interrup- 
tion, though he looked as if he could have 
eaten me, however unaccustomed to fare so 
tough, 

Many assaults, far more rude than this, are 
hourly made by counsel at nisi prius , on attorney 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


249 


witnesses, and I cannot forbear observing, that 
in general the court is far too indulgent to the 
bar on these occasions. It is possible that in 
an idle hour even these pages may meet a judi- 
cial eye ; I have known some of their lordships 
amuse themselves with more unprofitable books ! 
should such an honor await me, I must be ex- 
cused for reminding my most learned lounger 
ihat it is the duty of the bench to protect a 
witness, not less than to compel the truth. I 
do not say to screen him, but emphatically to 
protect him : and where a judge, from reluc- 
tance to face the sneers of counsel, or to en- 
counter his coarse remonstrance, allows him to 
practice on the timidity, or outrage the just 
sensiblility of a defenseless witness, or what is 
worse, to calumniate and stigmatize one who is 
no party, except professionally, to the cause, 
and who has no opportunity of being heard in 
explanation, that judge is not less guilty of a 
violation of his oath, than if he sold his opinion 
or his influence to the highest bidder: I have 
often been disgusted, not less with the cowardly 
license assumed by the bar in their comments 
on third parties, under the convenient plea of 

forensic liberty of speech, than I have with the 

11 * 


250 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 

apathy of the judge who heard them, and 
silently permitted the scandalous abuse that he 
ought to have checked with solemn indignation. 
On some rare occasions, when the language of 
counsel has grossly exceeded the limits of com* 
mon decency, and the insulted witness has been 
provoked into keen retort, the bench perchance 
has interfered ; but how ? by haughty reproof 
to the unfortunate victim, and expostulation 
with his vulgar assailant, so mild and so equivo- 
cal, as to imply sympathy with the offense, 
rather than stern rebuke to the offender. It is 
a national feeling to love and reverence our 
judges, and long may it continue to be so : hut 
they little know how they shake that love and 
reverence to their very foundation, when they 
thus betray a partiality to their corps, that 
tends to deter all men of respectability and of 
nervous temperament, from the highest duty of 
a citizen, bearing his testimony to truth and 
justice in open court ! Such is the horror of 
the witness box, that I have often known a 
good and honest case abandoned, to spare a 
relative, or a friend, the pain of entering it; 
and on one occasion, I have even known a 
witness pay the debt and costs, rather than be 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


251 


exposed to the risk of insult that he dared not 
resent in court, and would not have brooked 
elsewhere ! Attorneys, however, ought to recol- 
lect that the same man who insults them for 
the guinea he receives from their opponent, 
will readily eat his own words if they choose 
to give him two ; and, consequently, that this, 
as far as they are concerned, is the full value 
of the libel. Where counsel offend this way 
habitually, their names should he written on a 
black board in the hall of the Law Institution, 
as proscribed men. This would speedily work 
reform. 


252 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


CHAPTER XVI. 

11 Doubtless the pleasure is as great 
Of being cheated, as to cheat.”— Butler. 

Yet it is a pleasure which in duty to our 
clients, we must deny ourselves, however profit- 
able may be the litigation into which they 
sometimes cheat us. 

I have already hinted that the statements of 
an angry client are never to be received for 
gospel. It was long before I discovered this, 
and yet longer before I also found that his 
witnesses are rarely to be trusted at all ! The 
mistake is very natural : in the first place one 
feels strangely predisposed to place implicit 
faith in an honest fellow who gives the best 
possible proof of sound judgment in choosing 
you as his adviser; and then, one’s pocket 
sympathies are wonderfully excited in his 
behalf, (especially if the case is a heavy one,) 
and after all, he must know his own affairs 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


253 


better than we can do ! Moreover, when it 
does happen that ex superabundant i cautela y we 
ask him for his proofs, there never is any lack 
of evidence. “ Mr. Johnson is a witness ! he 
heard every syllable ! and Mr. Atkins managed 
the whole business, and can vouch for every- 
thing ! ” The next day he brings Mr. Johnson 
and Mr. Atkins, and they do vouch for every- 
thing, and in the state of excitement under 
which they see their employers labor, would 
willingly vouch for ten times more if necessary, 
and find twenty other witnesses to back them. 
No wonder if the attorney is deeply impressed 
with the conviction that all is true and accu- 
rate ! especially when the bare intimation of a 
doubt will be interpreted into the lie direct, 
and resented as a serious insult by the client, 
who came good-naturedly to employ him! 
Hence the writ is issued, retainers are given, 
and it is not till the eve of trial, when costs to 
a large amount have been incurred on both 
sides, that the attorney begins to think it 
strange that so clear a case should be so reso- 
lutely defended ; he again catechizes his client, 
who by this time has become calm ; and their 
employer being calm, the clerks become doubt- 


254 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


ful, whereupon the “ very clear case ” becomes 
as hazy as the city in November, and the only 
obvious point remaining is, that the notice of 
trial should he countermanded, and the costs 
taxed and paid ! Mutatis mutandis , the same 
result still oftener happens on the defendant’s 
side. When, however, the excitement has sub- 
sided, and the sober certainty of costs only 
occupies the mind, it is rare indeed* to find a 
client possessed of that amiable disposition, 
that he will admit having had u value received ” 
in the sympathizing credulity with which his 
attorney listened in the first instance to the tale 
of his supposed wrongs : on the contrary, he 
blames you behind your hack, and reproaches 
you to your face for “ not having set him 
right,” forgetting that had you even attempted 
it, at a moment when he would not believe the 
possibility of his being wrong, he would have 
made a quarrel of it, and gone elsewhere for 
advice ! 

An absurd blunder of this kind once oc- 
curred to me, which, though of trifling pecu- 
niary amount, will serve to illustrate my 
meaning. A friend who resided at a consider- 
able distance from town had a quantity of old 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


255 


family plate, which he wished to he cleaned 
and repaired by a London jeweler. He trans- 
mitted the plate chest, with a large parcel of 
papers, separately packed up, to his agent, 
with directions to leave the plate chest at the 
jeweler’s, and retain the papers. These direc- 
tions were literally complied with as regarded 
the plate, hut not having a convenient place to 
deposit the papers in, he sent them to the 
jeweler’s along with the chest. After two or 
three months, the plate was sent home, and the 
jeweler at the same time returned the paper 
parcel to the agent. My country friend on 
arriving in town, a considerable time after, 
applied to the agent for the papers which he 
had sent to him ; the parcel was delivered up, 
hut on opening it some turnpike bonds were 
missed! The agent declared he had never 
received them, nor even opened the parcel 
beyond removing the outside envelope. A vio- 
lent altercation ensued, in which my client 
used the terms “ thief,” and “ swindler,” some- 
what emphatically, and was, therefore, some- 
what emphatically kicked out of the agent’s 
chambers. In the full tide of fury he came to 
me, attended by his servant. 


256 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


“ I have been robbed, Mr. Sharpe ! robbed 
and kicked ! yes, actually kicked, Mr. Sharpe ! 
haven’t I, John ?” 

“ Sure you have, Sir ! ” answered the groom. 

“ Robbed ! kicked ! what do you mean ! was 
it in the street ? ” 

“ Master was kicked into the street, Sir, sure 
enough ! ” 

“Ay, Mr. Sharpe! kicked into the street 
by the ruffian that robbed me.” 

“ "What, in open day ! we must go to Bow 
street ; tell me the facts while my clerk calls a 
coach.” 

But on hearing the circumstances as above 
detailed, it occurred to me that even the charge 
of embezzlement could scarcely be sustained, 
though I entertained no doubt that the man 
had sold or pledged the bonds, especially when 
after another minute search, everything else 
was discovered in the parcel. My client had 
brought his servant with him to confirm his 
statement, and John swore stoutly that he had 
packed the plate chest, and made up the parcel 
himself. He had grown up in his master’s 
service from childhood, and I checked a suspi- 
cion tha/t flashed across my mind, that he 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


257 


tmght himself be the thief. The agent had a 
fair reputation, and was supposed to be in 
good circumstances. I therefore, without more 
hesitation, brought the action. My client left 
town, and proceedings went on in the usual 
course, till the sittings approached. I then 
thought it high time to take instructions for 
my brief, and subpoena John. It was also 
necessary to prove the safe carriage of the 
parcel till its delivery ; and to collect this 
evidence, I put myself into the mail, and pro- 
ceeded to my client’s residence in the country. 
I obtained all the evidence I wanted in the 
course of two or three days, but he must needs 
have a party to meet me at dinner the day 
before I left him. It consisted of five or six of 
the neighboring gentry and their families, and 
the splendor of the sideboard on which his 
plate was now set out for the first time since its 
return from the jeweler, naturally led the con- 
versation to the approaching trial. Many and 
bitter were the comments made on the assurance 
of the agent in carrying matters to such ex- 
tremes; and many and cordial were the good 
wishes for a safe deliverance to the host. 

“Ay, ay,” said Mr. Hubblobubble, joining 


258 


ADVENTURES OE AN ATTORNEY 


in the chorus, “I’ll get some satisfaction foi 
my kick now, or the devil’s in it. What costa 
will he have to pay ? eh ! Sharpe ?” 

“ The costs on both sides, I should think, 
will be near two hundred, taking in the five 
witnesses I sent up to-day.” 

“ Two hundred ! is that all ? well ! ’tis some 
comfort to make him pay two hundred pounds 
for smart money; mind you lay it on thick, 
Sharpe: don’t spare the fellow.” 

Here John, who had just entered the room 
with a bottle or two of very choice claret, in 
which his master wished to drink to our suc- 
cess, came close to his elbow, with the look of a 
famished pointer caught in the larder, holding 
the silver -mounted claret jug in his hand, and 
whispered into his ear in a semi -audible tone, 

“Master! Master! can I speak to you, Master?” 

“ Speak out, fool ! what’s the matter ? is the 
cellar robbed ? ” 

“ The bonds, master ! — the action — the claret 
— the bonds — ” hesitating between each word 
as if it choked him, and apparently as much 
afraid to finish his explanation, as the said 
pointer to finish his meal in the face of the 
angry cook 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


259 


“What do you stand jabbering there for, 
like a crow in the colic ? speak out, Sir ! ” 

“ I’ve brought the claret, Sir, ’tis the right 
sort, Sir, I’m sure, as sure as I packed the plate 
chest, master! but the bonds, — the bonds, Sir, 
— the claret jug, — ” 

He obviously dared not proceed, and gaped 
open - mouthed at his master, who returned the 
gape with interest, having some undefined pre- 
sentiment of evil, but too tipsy to arrange his 
ideas: I guessed the solution, and came to 
their common assistance. 

“ I suppose you removed the false bottom of 
the plate chest in getting out the jug, and there 
found the bonds ? ” 

“ Exactly so, Sir. Miss Letitia thought they 
would be safer there than in the parcel, and put 
them in while I was in the kitchen ! ” 

Hubblebubble was sobered in an instant, 
though one universal titter, more painful even 
than the kick, pervaded the room : it was too 
much for mortal patience ; he pushed back his 
chair — put down the untasted claret — and 
alternately staring first at John, and then at 
me, slowly and painfully drawled out the ques- 
tion, 


260 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


“ Two hundred pounds, did you say, Mr. 
Sharpe ? two hundred pounds for costs ? ” 

“ Yes, Sir.” 

“ Then why the devil didn’t you think of 
this before, Sir ? ” 

But the laugh was too hearty, and too well 
merited, to allow ill -humor to remain. Before 
the claret was finished, the kick was acknowl- 
edged to be deserved, and the action was settled 
by that night’s post. 

It would have required more than ordinary 
acuteness to have escaped this catastrophe, and 
I cannot to this day confess to error on my 
part, hut this was not a common case. I will 
mention one of more frequent occurrence. 

Every Cantab, however steady his career, 
and I must acknowledge that mine was not 
remarkable for sobriety, is sure of falling in 
with some wild acquaintance, who in after 
years stands in great need of assistance in om 
way or other. It is an easy transition from 
academic i( gaiety ” to metropolitan dissipation ; 
and the dissipation of young men “ on the 
town,” has gradual, but certain stages from 
'difficulty to shifts,- from shifts to gaming, — 
from gaming to the depths of ruin. One of 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


261 


these unhappy wretches called on me in the 
stage of shifts ; his brother had remitted him 
three hundred pounds from India, by a good 
bill on merchants in the city. The spendthrift 
took the hill to his agent to be discounted ; the 
agent declined discounting it, but retained the 
bill till it arrived at maturity, and received the 
money. My client applied for it, and was 
refused ; he came to me with this story, but he 
told me nothing else; it was “ a clear case.” 
I demanded payment by letter, and obtained no 
answer. I called on the agent half-a-dozen 
times, hut he was never at home. I arrested 
the man, but he put in bail, and defended the 
action ; his attorney was not less cautious than 
himself. I could get no information — no clue 
to the intended defense; the days of special 
pleading had not yet burst upon us in all their 
glory, and the plea left me as ignorant of the 
case as I was before. I catechized my client 
with determined scrutiny. 

“What did he say to you when you gave 
him the bill ?” 

“ He would see about it.” 

“ Were you alone?” 

“ Scamper dale was with me.” 


262 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


“Did you ever ask him to discount a bill 
before?” 

“ Twice, and he did it.” 

“ Have you had many transactions with him ?” 

“ Of course I have ; as agent for my regi- 
ment I could not avoid it.” 

“ Do you owe him money ?” 

“ Ho ! not a farthing.” 

“ You are certain ? ” 

“ Quite so.” 

Scamperdale confirmed the statement, and 
we proceeded to trial, my counsel, as well as 
myself, being assured of a verdict. Scamper- 
dale was put into the bar to prove the delivery 
of the bill ; but what was my amazement at his 
cross - examination ! 

“ You are a brother officer of the plaintiff? ” 

“ I am.” 

“ You have had many pecuniary transactions 
with him ? ” 

“ Certainly.” 

“ Is this your writing ? ” producing a bill of 
exchange. 

“It is” 

“ Did the plaintiff accept that bill for you ? ” 

“ Yes.” 


m SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


263 


“ And who discounted it ? ” 

“ The defendant.” 

u How long has it been over-due? ” 

“ 1 see by the date that it is above two years ! 

It was a bill for <£350, and the defendant 
further produced a letter from my thoughtless 
client, authorizing him to deduct it from the 
first moneys of his that came to his hands. It 
had been the subject of much angry correspon- 
dence at the time ; but two years are a sort of 
Lethe to a frequenter of hells and saloons. He 
had utterly forgotten the dishonored acceptance, 
and I, to my shame he it spoken, had also 
forgotten to ask for all correspondence between 
the parties. The plaintiff was taken in execu- 
tion for the costs, and when twenty detainers 
had been lodged, sold his commission, obtained 
his discharge by a shilling in the pound, and 
emerged from the Bench after two years’ im- 
prisonment, a finished blackleg ! 

Ho matter what a client says, or swears; no 
matter what his friends, his clerks, or his 
servants say, or swear, for him ; let the first rule 
be, whatever facts are in dispute, or a case seems 
too clear to admit of doubt, and the resistance is 
inaccountable, to ask for all correspondence. 


264 


ADVENTURES OE AN ATTORNEY 


CHAPTER XVII. 

% 

x Quot scelerata gerat foemina mente dolos ! ” — Ovid. 

Of all witnesses in an honest cause, an in- 
telligent child is the best. Of all witnesses, in 
any cause, a woman is the worst, unless she 
happens to be very pretty and engaging, and 
then she will answer the purpose, whatever it 
be, most successfully. The counsel examining 
in chief, ogles her with one eye and the jury 
with the other, while a marked suavity of 
demeanor seduces the fair debutante into perfect 
ease ; the gallantry of the bench, let his lord- 
ship be as old as Methuselah, bestows some- 
what more than a transient glance, and wanders 
into a conversational familiarity on every doubt- 
ful or hesitating answer. The jury, one and 
all, lay down their notes, fix both eyes and ears 
on the witness-box, whisper to each other, smile 
indulgently on every pretty little embarras , and 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


265 


let the lady swear what she will, cross-examina- 
tion is out of the question. Such outrage to 
the charmer’s self-complacency would be 
suicidal to the best of causes. 

I once experienced a very vexatious iilustra- 
tion of all this. I was engaged for the plaintiff 
in an action for libel, where a justification had 
been pleaded. The libel was a gross one, and 
we were going on swimmingly towards ample 
damages. The action was founded upon an 
imputation of falsehood conveyed in very coarse 
language, in having charged a master with 
oppressive and cruel treatment of a servant. 
The servant herself had been put into the box, 
and fully bore out the heavy charges my client 
had preferred on her behalf; her quiet and 
collective manner of giving her evidence had 
obviously produced a favorable impression on 
the jury. To discredit her testimony, a young 
lady of only two -and -twenty, the daughter of 
the defendant, was called. She was uncom- 
monly pretty, I might even say beautiful, and 
the elegance of her manners and dress rendered 
her irresistible. "Wilde, who was my counsel, 
was horror - struck with the apparition : he 

leaned over the desk to me, after attentively 

12 


266 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


eyeing the jury, “ ‘ Sharpe, we are done !” and 
“done” we were most assuredly, though her 
evidence, strictly weighed, was not worth a 
straw, for the jury gave us hut live pounds, and 
we thought ourselves fortunate in getting even 
that, under such untoward circumstances. 

My reader will say that this instance mili- 
tates against my general position, and to a 
certain extent I admit it ; but for one fair wit- 
ness like this you will meet with twenty as 
ugly as Hecate, and as nervous as a young orator 
on his first appearance on the platform; nor, 
and I grieve to say it, is youth, or sex, or 
Deauty , any security for honest testimony : the 
most disgusting, the most dreadful instance of 
spontaneous, deliberate perjury, that I ever met 
with in all my professional life, was in one in 
whom all these attractions were combined, and 
that to no common degree. My work is neces- 
sarily anonymous ; hut my anecdotes, though 
for the reasons I have given at the commence- 
ment, in some measure disguised, are all sub- 
stantially true. In that which I am about to 
mention, I will be literally, as well as substan- 
tially accurate, that I may not be charged with 
a libel on human nature, bad as that nature is. 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


267 


It was an object of great importance to a 
client of mine, of great respectability, to trace 
the steps of a man on a given day; this man 
being suspected of certain designs highly in- 
jurious to his family, and the justice of those 
suspicions depending in some degree on the 
locale of the man at the time in question. I 
had reason to believe that this man was at 
Tetsworth, on a Tuesday, on the very day that 
my client’s daughter chanced to be on her way 
from Oxford to town. I should premise that 
it was a case in which marriage was impossible . 
She called on me by her father’s directions the 
day after her arrival, to deliver a message of 
some importance. I had for many years been 
on terms of close intimacy with all the family, 
and had previously been requested by her 
fatheir to expostulate with her on the degrading 
and dangerous tendency of her acquaintance 
with Mr. Ball, who was a low tradesman, much 
her inferior in station and birth. It was about 
three months before this visit to me, that the 
expostulation had taken place, and as it was 
made with kindness, so it was received with 
grateful acquiescence. After she had communi- 
cated her message, I expressed a hope that the 


268 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


domestic peace had been uninterrupted since 
our last meeting ; she assured me that she had 
followed my advice so strictly, that she had 
broken off all acquaintance with Mr. Ball, and 
had neither seen nor heard from him for three 
months past. I expressed my extreme satisfac- 
tion at this, and we parted. On the Thursday 
she again called on me to say that she was 
returning to the country the following day, and 
would be happy to take back any message to 
her father; but it so happened that I had 
business to transact very near their country 
residence, and was going down myself. I 
told her so, and promised myself the pleasure 
of being her escort. I observed that she turned 
very pale, while she muttered something about 
the unexpected satisfaction, and so forth, and 
did not seem half so well pleased as she pro- 
fessed herself to be. However, we settled that 
we would leave town the following day by the 
coach, and I engaged to secure her place with 
my own. 

In less than an hour she returned to my 
office to say that unexpected circumstances had 
compelled her to defer her departure till Satur- 
day afternoon. I was surprised, but made no 


IN SEARCH OE PRACTICE. 


269 


remark, and adhering to my own plans, I left 
town for Oxford by the coach, at the time I 
proposed. We changed horses beyond Tets- 
worth, but on passing through the village, the 
coachman drew up at the door of the inn, and 
asked for a great coat that had been left there 
by the gentleman that he took up on Tuesday. 
Sundry coats were produced, but it was difficult 
to decide which was the right one ; after much 
description of the passenger’s person, the land- 
lord appeared, and put an end to the difficulty, 
by producing a 'card which he said had been 
left by the owner of one of them, to identify 
his own when he sent for it. The coachman 
immediately recollected the name, and received 
the coat, asking at the same time for the card, 
that he might remember where he was to send 
it, as he had forgotten the passenger’s address. 
I returned to town the following day by the 
same coach, and as we approached London, I 
reminded the man of his carelessness, and in- 
quired if he still had the card, little suspecting 
the discovery to which it would lead ; he pro- 
duced it, and I offered to note down the address 
on his way-bill; having done so, I retained 
the card, which had the name of Ball engraved 


270 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 

on it, in the usual form of a visiting card, and 
not like a tradesman’s. Hence I felt doubtful 
of its belonging to the party suspected. 

On arriving at my office, I dispatched to the 
lady a letter that I had brought for her from 
her friends, and I enclosed it in a note from 
myself, requesting to see her before she left 
town the following day. She called; I will 
give the conversation as it passed. After the 
usual salutations, she proceeded : 

“I shall have a dull journey to-morrow, 
Mr. Sharpe ; I am now sorry that I could not 
go with you.” 

“ So am I, Mrs. Haller, but you may chance 
to fall in with more amusing fellow -travelers.” 

“ Oh no ! I fear I shall be all alone, as I was 
in coming up.” 

“ It was on this point that I wanted to speak 
to you ; had you no companion then f ” 

“ Only part of the way ; a lady got in at- 
Uxbridge.” 

“ Well, that is very strange, for I understood 
from the coachman that a gentleman got in at 
Tets worth.” 

“ Dear me ! I quite forgot that , so he did • 
but he only traveled a mile or two.” 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


271 


I saw she was practicing on me, and I pur- 
posely changed the subject; she remained for 
half an hour while I wrote to her father on the 
business in which I was engaged for him ; as I 
was about to seal the letter, she asked to look 
at it. I guessed her motive, though she excused 
her curiosity on the pretext of wishing to give 
any verbal explanation, if I wanted to convey a 
further message by her. After she had read it, 
and found that it contained no allusion to her- 
self, her countenance brightened up, and she 
hastily rose to take leave. As she approached 
the door, the letter being still unsealed, I said 
to her very gravely, 

“Mrs. Haller, I should like to add a post- 
script to this letter, if you will allow me.” 

“ What may it be ? ” 

“You know your poor father’s intense 
anxiety on a certain subject ; may I assure him 
that your connexion with Ball is wholly at an 
end?” 

“ You may indeed ! on my honor you may.” 

“And that you have never seen him, or 
written to him since that unfortunate quarrel ? ” 

“You may tell him so with truth, and I 
shall be obliged to you for it.” 


272 ADVENTURES OE AN ATTORNEY 

“ With 'perfect truth ? ” 

“ I declare before God, you may.” 

“ That is a strong expression, especially from 
a lady’s lips. Are you serious ? ” 

“ I repeat in the presence of the Almighty , that 
I have never seen , or communicated with the man 
for the last three months. I hate and despise 
him ! ” 

“ That is indeed a solemn oath — I cannot 
doubt it.” 

And I did not; but in her eagerness to 
dispel suspicions which she felt were too well 
founded, the unhappy woman a third time, 
with an impassioned energy that was almost ter- 
rific, reiterated the awful adjuration in still 
more emphatic terms ! ! I could not discredit 
her, and was convinced that I had been misled 
by some singular coincidence of name. 

“ I rejoice,” I said, “ that I have asked you ; 
here is some strange mistake that ought, for 
your own sake, to be cleared up, and (producing 
the card) we must find out to whom this be- 
longs ; I got it at Tetsworth.” 

Never, to my dying hour, can I forget the 
scene that followed ! No sooner did the miser- 
able woman see the card, than she uttered a 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


273 


maniac shriek, gazed at me with a wild and 
vacant look, and fell senseless in my arms ! It 
was no affectation. Shame, terror, and re- 
morse, gave dreadful sincerity to the scene. 
I dared not call for help, lest in the first return 
of consciousness her feelings should betray het 
to third parties. A glass of water that I threw 
suddenly on her face, recalled her to life, and 
though she continued hysterical for some time, 
she rallied with a facility that astonished me. 
She now confessed the assignation, and much 
more of deeper guilt than I desired to hear, hut 
her openness now would not be restrained ; it 
was as if it comforted her thus to atone for her 
late duplicity. In concert with her father, I 
easily succeeded in breaking off that con- 
nexion ; indeed so easily, that it was clear, if 
affection ever had existed, it was for ever gone ; 
we even saved her from exposure, but I fear 
that we wholly failed in restoring her to a 
better path, for as it afterwards appeared, this 
had not been her first, nor even her second 
deviation from it. Yet she was young — fair 
as an angel from heaven, and her lovely features 
seemed stamped with the expression ot truth 

itself. Years have rolled over since that mel- 
12 * 


274 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 

ancholy scene, and I have seen her hut once 
since it occurred ; that once was sufficient ; she 
is still young, but all her beauty is gone ! 

We cannot he too guarded in the confidence 
we repose in female testimony, or too pointed 
in our preliminary examinations. Miss Stan- 
ton was a young lady of eighteen, who had 
certainly been very ill-used by a thoughtless 
coxcomb, a clergyman of six - and - twenty : 
like many rascals of the same species, he had 
won the girl’s affections, and breaking off his 
acquaintance with her, traduced her character 
as an excuse for his heartless caprice. Her 
parents, most unwisely in my opinion, brought 
an action for the breach of promise. To prove 
the promise, we were to call the sister, exactly a 
year younger than herself. I was assured by 
the father and mother, that her evidence would 
be quite satisfactory, but she was very reluctant 
to he examined by me ; for this very reason I 
resolved to interrogate her closely. She came 
to my office accompanied by her mother. 

“ Well, Miss Stanton, you were a good deal 
in your sister’s confidence ? ” 

“ Ho, sir,” playing with a reticule, and look- 
ing sheepishly on the ground. 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


275 


“You were aware of her intimacy with 
Thornhill ? ” 

“ No, Sir,” taking her handkerchief out of 
the said reticule, and unconsciously replacing it. 

“ I believe you have seen them often to- 
gether ? ” 

“ Sometimes, Sir.” She had now tied the 
strings into a complicated knot, and was in- 
tently engaged in untying it. 

“ Attend to me, my dear young lady ; I am 
speaking of important matters.” 

“ Oh, la ! Sir, what do you mean ? I know 
nothing about it, I’m sure ; do I, Ma ? ” 

“ Never mind your Mamma, my dear, hut 
just answer my questions.” 

“You had better ask my sister herself, Sir; 
she can tell you all about it, I suppose.” 

“ No doubt ; but she can’t speak for herself, 
you know.” 

“ Indeed she can, Sir ; she’s never much at a 
loss.” 

“ Well ; at present she is not here, so I would 
rather hear you.” 

“ Oh ! Ma can bring her to-morrow; won’t 
you, Ma ? ” and here the little fool again took 
out her handkerchief, and affected to wipe her eyes. 


276 ADVENTURES OE AN ATTORNEY 

“ She is very nervous, Mr. Sharpe ; she is 
easily excited, poor thing; and she feels very 
deeply for her sister; we had better defer it 
to another day, Sir.” 

“ There is no time like the present, Mrs. Stan- 
ton ; I think she will be more at her ease if you 
will leave her alone with me for five minutes.” 

“ Don’t go, Ma ! pray don’t leave me, Ma ! ” 
sobbed out the simpleton. “I’m sure I know 
nothing at all about it ; pray don’t go, Ma !” 

However, as Ma ! was still coaxing, and caress- 
ing, and consoling her, I saw she would only 
make matters worse, so I insisted on having a 
tete-a-tete, and prevailed on the old lady to 
withdraw into the next room. As soon as she 
was gone, I changed my mode of attack. 

“ How, Mary, tell me all about it.” 

“Well, where am I to begin?” she asked, 
promptly responding to the tone of levity in 
which I addressed her. 

“ Where you please, my dear.” 

“ Oh dear, Mr. Sharpe! you are so funny ; but 
I’ll tell you all I know, only don’t tell Pa or 
Ma : promise me that, won’t you ? I won’t say 
a word if you don’t! I won’t indeed.” 

“Hever fear; you are quite safe.” 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


277 


“Well, then, you must know that Mr. Thorn- 
hill, — but is that door shut ?” and she rose from 
her chair to examine it, and then listened to try 
if she could overhear anything : having satisfied 
herself on this point, she resumed her seat, again 
had recourse to her reticule, tied and untied the 
knot, and then began a second time, 

“ But do you want to hear about Mr. Thorn- 
hill, or Anne?” 

“ Tell your story your own way, Mary.” 

“Don’t you think Mr. Thornhill is a very 
nice man, Mr. Sharpe ?” 

I stared at her, wholly unable to guess where 
this was to end, and made no answer, lest I 
should provoke her to draw back. 

“ Well, I see you don’t like him any more 
than the rest ; hut he certainly is very hand- 
some, and dresses very well.” 

“ When did you first become acquainted with 
him?” 

“ Oh ! you know he was paying his addresses 
to Anne when I came home from school.” 

" What did he say to her?” 

“ I really don’t know, I never attended to 
him, till one day he took me on his knee, and 
asked me how I liked him.” 


278 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


“What! did he pay his addresses to you 
too?” 

“ La ! no, not then ; he was all after Anne, 
at that time.” 

“ And how far did he go with you ? ” 

“ That’s not fair, Mr. Sharpe ; I ought not 
to tell you that ; you shouldn’t ask me.” 

“ I don’t want to pry into your secrets, but I 
suppose he kissed you now and then ?” 

“Hush, hush, Mr. Sharpe! Ma will hear 
you ; ” running to the door to see that it was 
still closed. 

“ And he quarrelled with Anne on your ac- 
count, didn’t he ? ” 

“ Well, if he did, it was not my fault, nor 
his either ! Anne was so cross with him.” 

“ When did you last hear from him ? ” 

“ Who told you that he wrote to me? I must 
have dropped the letter ! ” opening and search- 
ing her reticule with obvious alarm ; “ oh no ! 
here it is, all safe,” returning a letter into the 
bag, “but you promised me you would not 
tell Ma.” 

Such was the innocent young lady on whom 
the anxious parents relied, to sustain the char- 
acter of her deserted sister! of course the 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


279 


action was abandoned, and about twelve months 
after, the little coquette eloped with the reverend 
Lothario. 


280 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY ‘ 


CHAPTER XVIII. 

“Crcde ratem ventis, animum ne crede puellis ” — Ovid. 

There is this marked distinction to be ob- 
served in the management of children, and 
female witnesses, — the former cannot be ex- 
amined too lightly ; the latter must be probed 
to the bottom. The child must be reminded 
of time, place, and circumstance, and these 
facts may be impressed on the recollection, by 
quietly collating them with holidays, birthdays, 
sight-seeing, or any other incidents dear to 
infantine memory; but there our duty ends: 
every word said to a witness under fourteen, 
and sometimes much above that age, that tends 
to open his understanding to the direct or 
collateral importance of a given fact, tends to 
alarm, and by alarming, to confuse or em- 
barrass him ; not that he seeks to trim his evi- 
dence, but that he fears the consequences of it, 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


281 


and thus takes elaborate pains to correct, when 
if he spoke fearlessly, he would be naturally 
correct without exertion. Whichever way he 
may betray anxiety, whether for or against the 
party calling him, it tells equally in favor of an 
opponent; for counsel will always, with an 
ingenuity that though professional is malevo- 
lent, ascribe embarrassment to the shame of 
conscious disingenuousness. Juries are not yet 
sufficiently enlightened, and I suspect never 
will be, to detect the artifices of counsel, before 
they leave the jury-box. An infant witness 
may, and often does, fall short of the mark, but 
that is comparatively immaterial, so long as he 
is not embarrassed in what he does say; he 
never will prove himself embarrassed, though 
he may be disconcerted, merely by the rough- 
ness of cross-examination. I have seen a child 
so frightened by it as to burst into tears, and 
this tells as well as a woman’s pretty face, if the 
evidence in chief has been consistent and 
straight-forward: but embarrassment is the 
inevitable result of any previous preparation, 
however honestly intended; such as “mind 
you don’t forget this,” or, “ be sure you speak 
out, and tell every thing you heard,” etc. In a 


282 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 

word, a child is the best, or the most dangerous 
witness you can call. 

Women however, of whatever age, demand 
the most sedulous attention, before you can 
rely on the evidence they profess to give ; the 
anecdotes that I have just mentioned show 
this, but as they relate to artful females, and in 
the first case to an unprincipled one, they are 
not characteristic of the sex, it may be hoped. 
I will give another example. 

I had occasion to prove the due execution of 
a will to pass real estate, in a cause in which I 
was concerned for a devisee against the heir-at- 
law. My client’s title was not altogether devoid 
of suspicion, and of course I was the more 
anxious about the consistency of the attesting 
witnesses: one of them was a young woman 
of six -and -twenty ; very intelligent, and re- 
markably prepossessing in her appearance, as 
well as decidedly above her class in point of 
manners and address. She had attested the 
will as Margaret Connor. When I required 
her evidence, she had become Mrs. M’Carthy: 
at the execution of the will she was a domestic 
in the family. A few days before the trial I 
sent for her to my office. 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


283 


“ I believe, Mrs. M’Carthy, you are aware of 
iny object in sending for yon ? ” 

“ It is about Mr. Brook’s will I believe, Sir.” 

“Yes: do you recollect the circumstances 
of his death ? ” 

“ Perfectly, Sir : I was in the house at the 
time, and lived in the family for three years 
before he died.” 

“How long before his death did he make 
this will?” 

“ About six weeks.” 

“ And the codicil ? ” 

“ Only a few days : I think less than a week.” 

“ I see you attested both ; who asked you to 
witness them? ” 

“ Mr. Brook.” 

“ Where did he execute them ? ” 

“He executed the will in the drawing-room, 
while lying on the sofa : the codicil in his bed, 
where he died.” 

“ And the other witnesses were present ? ” 

“ Oh yes, Sir; they were drinking tea together 
the first time : they sent for me the second.” 

Nothing could be more certain or satisfac- 
tory : I made a note of her evidence, and de- 
sired her to call on me again the day before 


284 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 

the trial: she came, however, the following 
morning. 

“ I have been thinking over it, Mr. Sharpe, 
and I believe I was not quite right.” 

“ In what respect ? ” 

“ They were not drinking tea, Sir, when I 
attested the will.” 

“Well, that is not material; you are sure, I 
suppose, that you were all together?” 

“Yes, Sir, I am sure of that; hut I don’t „ 
know that we were in the drawing-room.” 

“ Where else might it have been?” 

“ Perhaps in the dining-room.” 

“ That’s of no consequence, if you are right 
on other points ; think over it all, and see me 
again to-morrow.” 

This was a little annoying, especially as I 
had no opportunity of checking her by com- 
paring notes with the other witnesses, one of 
whom was dead, and the other had married the 
widow whose interest it was to support the 
will ; but the next day matters looked still 
worse. She came in apparently under some 
excitement : 

“I am sure, Mr. Sharpe, you had better not 


examine me. 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


285 


“ I can’t do without you, but what is the mat- 
ter now V 9 

“ I’ve thought over it a good deal, Sir, and 
the more I think, the less I can make of it ; I 
can’t he of any use.” 

“ You don’t doubt your own writing, surely! 
look at the will again.” 

“ Oh, I’m quite sure of all that, hut I can’t 
tell who was present ; I wish you could do with- 
out me.” 

“ But you say in your attestation, that you 
signed in each other’s presence ; you would hard- 
ly sign your name to a positive falsehood !” 

“ I hope not, Sir ; but I wish you would excuse 
me; I’m sure I shall do you no good.” 

“ I must take my chance of that.” 

The chance, however, seemed hut a poor one ; 
still I did not despair ; I suspected that she had 
some secret motive for wishing to avoid exami- 
nation, and I was bent on finding it out. My 
ingenuity was racked in vain ; she utterly dis- 
dained all motive hut a doubt as to the partic- 
ular circumstances that had occurred at the time, 
and as I could not dispense with her, I gave 
myself no further trouble about it : the next day 
she was called and gave her evidence clearly and 


286 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


decidedly . the cross - examination elicited the 
secret. 

“What are you, Mrs. Dennis M’Carthy ?” 

“ The wife of Mr. Dennis M’Carthy.” 

“ What is he ?” 

“ A lawyer’s clerk, but an honest man not- 
withstanding!” with a little premature irritabil- 
ity, for a woman under cross-examination al- 
ways bristles up like a porcupine at the approach 
of any noxious animal ; she knows not how little 
avails the wrath of man, woman, or porcupine 
against forensic assurance. 

“ No doubt of it, Mrs. M’Carthy; and I dare 
say you are an honest woman too. (Here she 
blushed and looked down, a show of emotion 
that did not escape unnoticed, as the next ques- 
tion proved.) In what capacity did you live 
with Mr. Brook?” 

“I acted as — nurse,” (with hesitation). 

“ Was that all ?” 

“I assisted Mrs. Brook.” 

“ In what way ?” 

“She was often an invalid, and — and — I 
used to act for her.” 

“ How ?” 

“ In her household — duties,” (still hesitating.) 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


287 


“All lier duties, Mrs. M’Carthy?” laying a 
scarcely perceptible emphasis on the word ‘ all.* 
This was too much for Mrs. M’Cartliy’s pa- 
tience ; she flared up, to use an expressive phrase 
almost grown obsolete, and pettishly declared 
that “she did not understand the question.” 

“Oh yes you do, Mrs. M’Carthy: I mean all 
her conjugal duties ?” 

“I won’t answer you: you are no gentle- 
man I am sure, though you are a lawyer ! I 
won’t answer another word.” 

“Don’t be angry, Mrs. M’Carthy, I will trou- 
ble you no more,” glancing expressively at the 
jury. I fear the insinuation was too well found- 
ed; fortunately for me I was able to confirm 
her testimony as to the presence of all parties by 
the medical man who had attended the testator 
daily, and chanced to be in the room at the ex- 
ecution both of the will and codicil, having in 
fact suggested the propriety of not deferring the 
duty : but for this circumstance I should have 
broken down upon the attestation, simply be- 
cause I had not the penetration to detect the 
cause of the witness’s reluctance, and prepare her 
to meet the exposure, if I failed in averting it 
by appealing to the humanity of our opponents. 


288 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


But certainly of all the variety of duties im- 
posed on us by our peculiar occupation, there is 
not one more difficult to perform, or that requires 
more delicacy of address, than to measure the 
extent to which a female may he prudently ex- 
posed to the fire of a cross - examination. I nev- 
er yet found a woman, young or old, silly or 
sensible, plebeian or patrician, that could stand 
it, or that did not make a fool of herself if she 
failed in making one of me. The case must be 
desperate indeed where the attorney has no help 
for it hut in the straight-forward evidence of a 
woman : should he unhappily find himself in 
such a strait, the wisest thing he can do is to let 
her tell her story in her own way; and tell it only 
once for all : if she is good - looking it may pass ; 
if not, she must he taught an hysteric fit at the 
right moment, and this may perchance save him. 


IN SEARCN OF PRACTICE. 


289 


CHAPTER XIX. 


** Non datur ac veras audire et reddere voces.”— AC n L 

Witnesses of our own sex are a more prac- 
ticable race, but there are still very few who 
can be trusted without gome chilling: witnesses 
are like the muscles of the bo ly, voluntary and 
involuntary in their action ; but with this differ- 
ence; your voluntary witness cannot be res- 
trained, your involuntary witness never acts 
spontaneously. A volurtary witness enters 
into the matter with all the zeal of a partisan ; 
so much so that we begin to fancy we have 
made a mistake in the parties, and that the 
witness ought to have been the plaintiff; with 
professional slang, he adopts the first person 
plural, “We have been very ill treated, Mr. 
Sharpe: we owe it to the public to take the 
opinion of a jury,” nor will any quiet intimar 
13 


200 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


tion uf mistake serve to rescue him from this 
confusion of personal identity. 

A fraudulent misrepresentation of profits was 
the ground of action ; I was examining an ac- 
countant wl^p had been employed by my client 
on negotiating the purchase. 

“ Did the defendant fairly expose his books ? ” 
“ I cannot complain of him on that score, 
Mr. Sharpe.” 

“ Then how came you to be deceived ? ” 
“Deceived! I never am deceived, Sir; I 
should like to see the man who can deceive me, 
give me his bill -book, his cash-book, his pass- 
book, his day-book, and his ledger! but we 
are the victims of fraud, Sir ! we are all liable to 
be cheated, Sir ! we have been shamefully cheat- 
ed — swindled — regularly done in this case.” 

“I incline to agree with you, but how do you 
make it appear ? ” 

“ Appear ! it is as clear as the day : we 
found he kept two accounts, Sir ! two bill- 
books, Sir! two waste -books, Sir! but we will 
expose him : our character is at stake ! ” 

My accountant -witness exposed his own 
ignorance when he came to be examined, but 
he left the defendant intact. I have a great 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


291 


antipathy to all voluntary witnesses ; one of the 
involuntary class is worth a score of them, if 
he has any pretension to principle or character : 
their drawback, however, is a very heavy one ; 
you cannot guess, except so far as you can 
safely confide in your client’s story, whether 
he is safely producible. It occurred to me to 
examine a man as a witness in that most diffi- 
cult of all causes, an action for a fraudulent 
representation of character, whereby credit was 
obtained ; the witness was a mutual friend, but 
more inclined to save the defendant than assist 
the jlaintiff; he was a man of principle never- 
theless. 

“ I understand, Mr. Thomson, that you re- 
ported to my client the opinion that the de- 
fendant entertained of the bankrupt ? ” 

“ I can’t say I made any report, Sir.” 

“ But you stated that the defendant had large 
dealings on credit with him ? ” 

“ I never spoke of large dealings with any- 
body.” 

“ He did deal on credit with him, however?” 
“ He may have done so, Sir.” 

“ Did he not tell you so ? ” 

“ He may or he may not . 9 


292 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


" You were requested to make the inquiry of 
kirn?” 

u Yes : I can’t deny that.” 

“ And you told him that my client had asked 
you?” 

“ I believe I did.” 

“ What answer did he give you ? ” 

“ I can not recall his exact words.” 

“ Well : what answer did you take back to 
my client ? ” 

“I suppose he has told you, Mr. Sharpe?” 

“Yes; hut I wish to know what you can 
tell me.” 

“ You’ll hear it all when I am examined in 
court.” 

“ How can I judge of the prudence of exam- 
ining you in court, if you will not tell me what 
you have to say ? ” 

“ I shall speak the truth, Sir.” 

“ Ho doubt of it ; but what is the truth of 
the case ? ” 

“ Excuse me, Sir; I don’t like to tell the 
same story half-a-dozen times; I shall tell it 
when I am in the witness-box.” 

“ Did you make any memorandum of your 
conversation ? ” 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


293 


i% Perhaps I may ; I decline saying anything 
at present.” 

“ My client’s goods found their way into the 
defendant’s possession, I believe ? ” 

“Possibly; the defendant dealt with the 
bankrupt.” 

“ Don’t you know that they did ? ” 

“ I am not obliged to tell you the extent of 
my knowledge, Mr. Sharpe?” 

“ In fair dealing, I think you are.” 

“ I cannot agree with you, Sir ; I wish you 
good morning.” 

And he walked off. I was left to decide for 
myself, whether on this equivocal evidence, but 
partially disclosing a tenth part of the merits, 
it was prudent to proceed. I thought not ; my 
client understood the man better, and trusted 
him ; nor was he disappointed. In the witness- 
box he bore out the case to its full extent, 
though by his ill - timed reserve he had nearly 
crowned with success the fraud practiced on 
an innocent man. These pig-headed block- 
heads are the most dangerous of involuntary 
witnesses ; we can only rely on them so far as 
we have confidence in the instructions we have 
received, and in the respect which we may 


294 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 

assume that they will pay to their oath : hut if 
we can rely on them, they are the best. 

A witness requires to be studied with close 
attention, and the opportunity of studying him 
is best obtained by quietly leaving him to speak 
for himself, unless it appear that he is deterred 
by bashfulness or timidity. I have usually 
found that men are more communicative when 
they can be prevailed upon to call on me, than 
when I call on them. In the latter case they 
are on their guard; they are afraid of com- 
mitting themselves, and take refuge in cautious 
silence; in the former, they are compelled to 
open the occasion of their visit by way of self- 
introduction, and they gradually, and almost 
unconsciously, slide into full conversation. An 
attorney must be a very dull fellow, who after 
an interview of half- an -hour, cannot form a 
fair opinion of the safety, as well as the value 
of a witness, in any ordinary case. His policy 
is to draw him out without letting it appear 
that he does so ; for such is our bad odor, that 
no sooner does a man suspect that we are ob- 
serving him, than he draws in his horns, and 
shrinks back into the very inmost recesses of 
his shell. At <rne time I made it a habit to 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


295 


take out ink and paper, and reduce at once to 
writing all tliat my witnesses stated, while they 
were still with me ; sometimes I do it still, and 
where it can be effected without exciting alarm, 
it is a useful practice ; but I was cured of it as 
a habit by more than one instance of the fol- 
lowing kind : 

“ Bless me, Mr. Sharpe, what are you doing 
there ? ” 

“ Only making a minute of your evidence 
for counsel.” 

“ Minute of my evidence ! I won’t agree to 
that!” 

“ Why not? you can’t think that I can re- 
member all we have been saying ? ” 

“I can’t help that; I’m not going to swear 
in black and white ; I have told you the truth, 
but I’m not going to be taken down.” 

“ Will you write it yourself? ” 

“ Ho indeed ! I may have made a thousand 
mistakes; I’ll do no such thing.” 

“ Come, now, be reasonable ; what is the use 
of your telling me all this, if it is to go no 
further ? and how can I make use of it, if I am 
not at liberty to take notes of it ? ” 

“ That’s your affair, not mine ; I have noth- 


296 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


ing to do with it. Give me that paper, or Til 
not say another word.” 

And I have been obliged to surrender my 
memorandums as a peace-offering, to secure 
further communication! All this is prodigi- 
ously absurd, but it is our lot to deal with the 
absurdities not less than with the passions of 
mankind. 

I have observed that children should never 
be instructed as to the value of their evidence ; 
and as a general maxim it applies to adults, 
more especially if they are of the class volun- 
tary; not that witnesses of this stamp are 
prone, as in the case of children, to become 
embarrassed and confused, but because such 
tuition leads to a very kindred, and yet more 
mischievous fault. As soon as their cross- 
examination begins, they are sure to assume an 
attitude of self-defense; while counsel is amus- 
ing them w T ith pointless questions, they indulge 
in pert and flippant rejoinders, and this of 
itself will prejudice a jury, unless accompanied 
with a power of witty repartee that rarely falls 
to the lot of man. When however, the cross- 
examination approaches the point which they 
have been taught to feel of importance, flip- 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE 


297 


pancy changes into sudden reserve, and the 
prejudice of the jury settles into confirmed 
distrust. I never indulge the self-complacency 
of a voluntary witness, and the more important 
I feel his evidence to be, the more indifference 
I show about it, till I succeed in bringing him 
down to a very diluted strength. I have been 
obliged sometimes to go so far as to intimate 
considerable doubt if he would be wanted at 
• all ; this often produces that humble frame of 
mind, which is the best of all preparatives for 
the witness-box where a witness is not cursed 
with too much sensibility of nerve. 

There are some precautions that are requisite 
with witnesses of every class ; the very utmost 
patience must be exhibited in our intercourse 
with them, let them take what time they like to 
tell their story, and digress from it as often, and 
in what direction they please : never pin them 
down to accuracy or consistency till they have 
had their say out. To irritate a witness is death 
to a cause; and of all sources of irritation, in- 
terruption is the surest, especially to a garrulous 
or prosing man : moreover, in telling a story 
their own way, witnesses will often let facts of 

rea~ importance escape them, which you would 

13 * 


298 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


never elicit by tbe most keen interrogation . I 
have usually found that dull or illiterate men 
will begin their statement with some rigmarole 
of antediluvian date, in nowise connected with 
the subject- matter of the cause, except through 
some ingeniously twisted association of their 
own fancy; they then skip over every interme- 
diate occurrence till they come to facts, most 
deeply impressed on their memory, because the 
most recent; this is invariably the case in all 
matters relating to domestic or family disputes ; 
in all affairs where the scene of action has been 
partly abroad; and above all in complicated 
cases of justified libel, or of intricate pecuniary 
accounts. Hence, after the first conversation, 
the attorney finds himself involved in a jumble 
of detail, which no ingenuity can unravel or 
simplify. To correct this desultory style, it is 
judicious to note down half - a - dozen dates of 
the principal events, and entice the witness into 
a recapitulation of his narrative, checking and 
recalling him to the periods which you have 
noted. By thus introducing a chronological 
principle of arrangement, without appearing to 
tie him down to it, a clear and connected tale 
may often be deduced from a mass of chaotic 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


299 


confusion. Where several witnesses are neces- 
sary to complete a long chain of evidence, this 
precaution is doubly requisite, for if they are 
confronted, and are not equally clear and pre- 
cise, they will inevitably contradict each other 
on some important date or occurrence, and by 
argument and discussion will each provoke the 
other into bigoted adherence to his own recol- 
lection ; it then becomes a point of honor, or 
at least of temper, (often the same thing,) to 
withhold the least concession of error. It is 
most dangerous at any time to hold a convoca- 
tion of witnesses, till by separate examination 
we have arrived at a straight-forward and con- 
sistent story ; when once this is attained, it is 
convenient to assemble them, as you can at 
once reconcile any petty and seeming incon- 
sistencies to their own satisfaction, and this is 
of the last consequence if you anticipate the 
necessity of excluding an opponent’s witnesses, 
(and of course, therefore, your own,) pending 
the progress of the trial. 


300 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


CHAPTER XX. 

**Ut tantum facinus non in aequitate defensionis, sed in una litter* 
latuisse videatur?” — Cic. pro A. Caecin. 

Another precaution that can never he safely 
omitted, and at which I have already glanced, 
is to make witnesses produce every letter or 
memorandum which they can recollect writing 
or receiving, respecting the matters at issue : 
an attorney should never he taken by surprise, 
by the sudden development of any writing of 
importance ; his safest course is always to ask 
for all correspondence, and to read all, when it 
is produced ; for one letter will often give no- 
tice of another. I can mention two incidents 
of a very curious character that will illustrate 
the infinite value of documentary evidence, 
though apparently of the most trivial descrip- 
tion : I received one of them from a civilian of 
high rank, anl well -merited professional dis- 
tinction. 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


301 


Property to an immense amount depended 
on the legitimacy of an ancestor whose parents 
were supposed to have been married in the 
year 1730. The system of registration, either 
of birth or marriage, was then scarcely known, 
or at least very imperfectly practiced; the 
period of the ancestor’s birth, however, had 
been ascertained with accuracy, and this even- 
tually led to the discovery of the registration 
of his parents’ marriage ; but to the dismay of 
the attorney, it appeared that the marriage was 
registered some months after the birth. There 
was every reason to believe that the register 
was inaccurate ; the rank and character of the 
parties, and the long -recognized claims of the 
heir, combined to negative the supposition that 
his legitimacy could have thus easily been chal- 
lenged at the very period of his birth, and yet 
have so long remained doubtful : but argument 
avails but little against positive record, and the 
attorney was alarmed at the prospect. He 
hurried to his counsel, to announce the dis- 
covery he had made; they felt the difficulty, 
but the case was too serious to be abandoned 
without a further effort, and the register might 
possibly be inaccurate : he was recommended 


302 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


to institute diligent inquiry for the representa- 
tives of the clergyman who had solemnized the 
marriage, as it was probable that he had been 
personally acquainted with the parties, and it 
*vas possible that his papers might, if found, 
open new channels of intelligence ; the attorney 
started on this voyage of discovery, founded 
like that to the North Pole, on possibility 
within possibility! He succeeded in finding 
the representatives of the clergyman in some 
of his great-grandchildren, who liberally 
opened their family archives to his researches. 
Among other venerable relics of antiquity was 
a trunk of papers, and half- sorted correspond- 
ence. Hour after hour, and day after day, 
were spent in unfolding and perusing it; even- 
tually his perseverance was rewarded ; he found 
a letter of invitation to the reverend divine, 
requesting the honor of his company to the 
nuptial feast, and a memorandum of the cere- 
mony indorsed upon it, in the same hand- 
writing with the register ! That memorandum 
bore date, as did the letter itself, exactly a year 

before the ancestor’s birth, and fifteen months 

% 

prior to the registration of the marriage. 

The other instance to which I have referred, 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


303 


occurred personally to myself, and is therefore 
far more interesting to me, and likely, perhaps to 
be more instructive to my readers. I was placed 
in the very painful position of being obliged 
to prove that a deed which had been prepared 
and executed in my office, was only delivered as 
an escrow , till the investigation of a title had 
been completed. It was contended on the other 
side, that it had been executed unconditionally, 
all objections to the title having been waived ; 
the action was brought under very special cir- 
cumstances, to recover the purchase - money from 
my clients, who were the purchasers ; the deed 
had been executed during my absence from Lon- 
don ; a fact that I could not doubt, inasmuch as 
it bore date in the first week of September, being 
d week that I never remember to have spent 
within the region of Cockaigne ; but it was 
above two years after the date of it, that I was 
called to swear to the fact, and I could obtain 
no evidence but my own to sustain my alibi. 
Meanwhile I was opposed ( not in a professional 
sense, for the plaintiff's attorney was a very re- 
spectable man, though misled as to the merits of 
his case, ) to two of the greatest villains that 
ever adorned our honorable profession, and J 


304 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 

knew that it was intended by these fellows to 
swear that they had seen me personally at my 
office , on the occasion of the deed being executed, 
and that I had then consented to complete the 
purchase. I have been satisfied by subsequent 
events, that this intended defense was kindly in- 
* timated to me to intimidate me from entering 
the witness - box ! The plaintiff was a worthy 
alderman, whose blundering stupidity is the 
best pledge that he was no party to the iniqui- 
tous scheme. The hint thus given to me of the 
intended line of defense, had certainly the effect 
of annoying me as much as malice could desire, 
for it was tantamount to telling me that if I 
swore to what I knew to be the truth, I should 
be visited with an indictment for perjury ! 
They little knew me, however, when they hoped 
thereby to deter me from a strict professional 
duty. After perplexing myself in vain to think 
of corroborative evidence, it flashed across my 
mind that being out of town at the time, and of 
course obliged daily to write to my managing 
clerk on matters of business, he might possibly 
have retained some of my letters, though it was 
not his habit to preserve them. Laborious in- 
deed was the search I made, but all in vain ! i< 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


305 


was the eve of trial, and having spent days in 
turning over every bundle of papers relating to 
business then in hand, all to no purpose, I re- 
solved to meet my fate with the best face I 
could, and trust to heaven for the rest. I had 
returned from our final consultation at a late 
hour, hopeless almost of escape, when my clerk 
met me with exultation in his features, holding 
in his hand the envelope of a letter, addressed 
in my writing to himself, and hearing a pro- 
vincial postmark fifty miles from London, of 
the very date of the deed in question! Here 
was conclusive evidence of my accuracy, and 
my alibi. I gave my testimony with comfor- 
table coolness, and no contradiction was even 
offered ! The envelope had been used to wrap 
up a pill -box, which he had fumbled out of 
his drawer, after the twentieth ejectment of all 
its contents in fruitless search! It is worth 
remarking, though foreign to the immediate 
subject, that it afterwards appeared that the 
professional swindlers who had meditated this 
diabolical scheme, had forged all the deeds on 
which the title depended, and but for a trifling 
circumstance, that awakened my suspicion of 
fraud, though I never dreamt of the extent of 


806 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


it, my clients would have completed their pur- 
chase, and lost three thousand pounds : it was 
in pursuance of their fraud that they had pre- 
vailed on my clerk, during my absence, to 
consent to the execution of the deed “ without 
prejudice;” but it would take too long, and be 
profitless to hoot, to explain the whole of this 
infamous conspiracy, though I afterwards 
traced to the pen of one of the party, anony- 
mous letters on the evidence of which he might, 
at that time, have been hanged; and would 
have been, hut for the forbearance of my gener- 
ous client. I would rather fight the devil 
under the gallows for a gibbeted thief, than 
get involved in personal controversy with an 
unprincipled attorney! it is but one degree 
better to be his client. 

I have dwelt at considerable length on the 
examination of evidence, because it is the most 
important of all duties that fall to the lot of the 
attorney, and it is the only one in which he can 
derive no assistance from the superior informa- 
tion of counsel : indeed, I have generally found 
counsel more unskillful in the 'private examina- 
tio - 1 of witnesses, than ourselves. 1 should not 
ej must the subject, if I were to write a folio, 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


807 


nor should I succeed in the instruction of my 
reader, if I could find one with patience to read 
the said folio, for it is entirely a matter of tact 
and address to extract a witness’s knowledge, 
without alarming him on the one hand, or 
tutoring him on the other : I cannot however 
quit the topic without another remark or two 
that may assist in acquiring this tact. Where 
witnesses are inclined to open at all, they are 
far more communicative at the first interview 
than they ever are afterwards; the private 
meditation that follows the first discussion of 
the subject with the attorney is by no means 
conducive to frankness on a second examina- 
tion : the examinant begins to reflect more 
seriously on the case than he did before ; con- 
science suggests a doubt (I am only speaking of 
honest witnesses, such as an honest attorney 
may call,) whether he may not have exaggerated 
a little, and given an unfair color to the facts : 
whether he may not, from the wish to oblige a 
friend, have spoken with prejudice; or if free 
from prejudice, ^whether he has not been some- 
what hasty and thoughtless in his statements : 
when reflections like these begin to haunt hia 
mind, a re- action takes place; on his second 


308 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


visit lie doubts ; he is “not quite sure ” — “ he 
would be sorry to speak unfairly” — “an oath 
is a serious matter : ” and then he qualifies, and 
modifies, and neutralizes, till he gets bewildered 
in scruples of his own creation, and ends by 
retracting every word he has previously uttered, 
falling into the natural error of saying too 
little to avoid the danger of saying too much. 
I have known many a witness to whom “the 
truth ” was an intelligible part of the oath, but 
who found “ the whole truth and nothing but 
the truth,” absolutely incomprehensible; as 
indeed they are to common sense, if “ the 
truth ” has any meaning at all. It is important 
to detect this infirmity in a witness at our first 
introduction to him, if possible; but if we 
cannot do this, it is prudent to assume that he 
is subject to it, and on this assumption to get 
all out of him that we can, without subjecting 
him to a second ordeal : we may generally trust 
to such a witness to confirm on oath, substan- 
tially at least, whatever he has first stated ; but 
to prevent disappointment to counsel on ex- 
amining him in court, in this and perhaps in 
every case, it is most prudent in narrating his 
expected evidence in the brief, to refrain from 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


309 


giving it in any stronger or more decided terms 
than we have ourselves received it in from his 
lips; and if we must err, to err on the side of 
moderation and distrust. Akin to this sugges- 
tion is another, which obvious as it is, is too 
frequently neglected in practice; never to post- 
pone the examination of the witnesses till the 
eve of trial : most men are content to take their 
clients word for the facts, and bring or defend 
the action without further precaution: this is 
all very well, if the main object is to secure 
costs in any event : but if the desire is what it 
ought to be, to avoid litigation, wherever facts 
only are disputed, and the law is clear, then 
the attorney’s first duty is to check his client’s 
accuracy, by catechising his witnesses before 
costs are incurred, and while the circumstances 
are yet recent in their memory. 

Some of the adventures before narrated, fully 
bear out the wisdom of this policy, but it if 
well worth punted repetition. 


310 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


CHAPTER XXI. 

" Le vrai n’est pas toujours le vraisemblable.” 

Rochefoucault. 

While I liave learnt to be very scrupulous in 
receiving for gospel, what even the most honest 
and well - meaning witnesses may tell me, I have 
acquired another lesson not less important to 
professional men : never to refuse credit to a 
story, merely because it is opposed to all prob- 
ability, or at variance with the ordinary motives 
and conduct of mankind, or with the apparent 
station or reputation of the parties whom it 
involves. I have met with some cases so extra- 
ordinary in their nature, that they seemed to 
require almost mathematical demonstration to 
convince one of their truth : and yet when I 
have afterwards become familiar with the private 
history of the parties, that demonstration has 
been supplied by irresistible moral evidence. 
Some of these cases are so peculiar, that I dare 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


811 


not mention them, because no disguise of name, 
date, or circumstance, could prevent recognition 
of the individuals. I can illustrate my mean- 
ing however, by two or three, in which I have 
reason to believe that all the principal actors 
have long since quitted the stage of life, without 
leaving any surviving relations so near in blood, 
that their feelings will he wounded by the ex- 
posure, even if they should identify the anecdote. 
I was once consulted by a gentleman about 
thirty years of age, a very accomplished man, 
and remarkably gifted with those attractions 
that usually win the affections of a woman, 
upon his defense in a threatened action for 
criminal conversation. He was not only a 
client, but an intimate friend, and he wanted 
my advice more in the latter character than as 
his solicitor. I of course inquired into the 
foundation for the charge, and he absolutely 
denied that any existed, or could by possibility 
exist; he pledged me his honor most solemnly 
to the truth of his denial, but with so much 
agitation of manner, and apparent distress of 
mind, that I doubted him, for he was by no 
means a man to be alarmed at trifles. I urged 
upon him the folly of such anxiety, if he was 


812 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 

conscious that the action could not be sustained, 
and put it to his good sense to set the menace 
of it at defiance. lie declared this to be out of 
the question, and to satisfy me that it was so, 
he acknowledged to a score of acts of such a 
nature that any one of them would have been 
more than sufficient to convince the most in- 
dulgent or most sceptical jury that ever tried 
an issue. I inquired into the extent to which 
the husband might be presumed to be ac- 
quainted with the conduct of his wife, and 
found that she had herself, unknown to her 
lover, confessed their correspondence, and ex- 
hibited his letters ! lie showed me extracts 
from some of those letters that he chanced to 
have retained, and they were so expressed that 
they left no doubt of his guilt, even on my 
mind, though his partial friend. I advised an 
attempt at compromise, and we effected it at a 
cost of three hundred pounds. I saw the 
woman in the course of the negotiation, and 
certainly, if extreme beauty and the most en- 
gaging manners could have extenuated my 
friend’s fault, he had every apology. He was, 
notwithstanding this affair, a man of high- 
toned feeling, and even principle. Some years 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


313 


afterwards he offered his hand to a lady, hut in 
doing so he felt it incumbent on him to disclose 
these circumstances. Her father called on me 
for a confirmation >f the story, and I thought 
it right to explain it fully, though I did not 
feel it necessary to express my utter disbelief of 
my friend’s protestations of actual innocence : 
his offer, however, was rejected, and he after- 
wards found reason to congratulate himself on 
his failure. The husband died about a year 
after this disappointment, and partly from 
lingering affection perhaps, partly to do justice 
as he supposed to the woman whose reputation 
he had injured, he resolved to marry the widow, 
and disclosed his intentions to me. I entreated 
him to he cautious, and to allow me to inquire 
a little into her conduct since the compromise; 
he followed my advice, and I pursued the in- 
quiry with diligence; for, in fact, though I 
never doubted my friend’s criminality, I had 
always suspected that her spontaneous dis- 
covery of their correspondence proceeded from 
any feeling but remorse. The death of the 
husband opened many mouths that had before 
been closed, aud the tenor of his w r ill led to a 

perfect development of the whole iniquity. I 

14 


314 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


found in the surgeon who had attended him in 
his last illness, and was also the medical adviser 
of the wife, a fellow student and old acquaint- 
ance in the hospitals, and he told me all. My 
friend had been the victim, and not the first 
nor the second victim, of an infamous con- 
spiracy between the husband and wife, a con- 
spiracy by which the conjugal feelings could 
never by possibility he outraged, because that 
outrage could never by 'possibility be effected! 
The unnatural and debased creature soon fol- 
lowed her husband to the grave, though she 
maintained to the last a quasi reputation that 
obtained her the frequent opportunity of prac- 
tising her arts on other dupes. Could I have 
believed my unlucky friend’s assertions in the 
teeth of all probability, I might have saved his 
money, and soothed his wounded feelings, by 
converting them into indignation. 

Another case of a very similar description, 
occurred in the person of a young man that I 
knew at Cambridge, and who afterwards resided 
in one of the inns of court, as a law student. 
It is only so far in point as it tends to establish 
my position, that the improbability of finding 
extreme depravity in one not previously even 


IN SEARCH uE PRACTICE. 


315 


the object of suspicion, is no conclusive argu* 
ment for disbelieving it. He too was a gentleman 
combining great personal attraction with large 
mental endowments, and even at an early age, 
be acquired no inconsiderable distinction in 
the world ; but be was a man of more than 
the usual share of romance, and thus peculiarly 
fitted to be the dupe of female artifice. He had 
scarcely left Cambridge, when he became intro- 
duced to one of those minor circles which dub 
themselves fashionable, because they have ac- 
quired the ease and style of high - bred folly, how- 
ever far removed by birth from the patrician 
class ; in truth, in these modern days of liberality, 
there are but two fashionable classes of society, 
however those classes may be subdivided : the 
men of academic education form the one ; the 
educated by hook or by crook , form the other : 
now and then they interlace with each other, 
but still the line of demarcation is broadly 
marked; the superior class branch out in mani- 
fold directions, and according to taste or circum- 
stance, associate themselves with a political, a 
scientific, a professional, or a literary coterie ; 
the half - educated aspire to the same elevation, 
and occasionally attain it; the large herd of 


316 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


intermediate talent, who have no intellectual 
pretension to rank in any particular study, are 
hangers - on in the set they happen to fancy, and 
make up for learned deficiency, by boldly assert- 
ing the exclusiveness of their peculiar circle; 
men, like these, form the hulk of the fashion- 
able world ; whether that world rolls along in 
the coroneted carriage through the streets and 
squares of aristocracy, or crowds the scientific 
hall, or lounges in the library chair of the club- 
room, or with more humility of aspiration, 
retails the gossip of the House over the good 
things of a Civic table, or speculates in Russell 
square on the prospects of the leader on the cir- 
cuit, such is the materiel of which it is composed. 
Should one of these intermediate men chance 
to be a novelist, a dramatist, or a successful 
pamphleteer, he becomes the temporary nucleus 
of a petty circle of his own, in which he lion- 
izes with success. If moreover, he can dexter- 
ously render fashionable folly subservient to his 
pocket, not only is his fortune made, but even 
character becomes superfluous in the eclat of his 
brilliant career. 

I have digressed from my subject, but I 
wished to explain accurately the set to which 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


317 


Cai tain Wilson belonged, in whose drawing- 
room my friend Stanfield soon found himself a 
welcome guest. Captain Wilson was a man of 
fashion, him distingue , kept a good table, and 
what is of equal consequence, a very pretty 
wife. Where he found her, or how he won 
her, were mysteries that concerned nobody but 
himself. She was younger by several years 
than he was, but there was no such disparity 
of age as made their union farcical. Stanfield 
possessed two accomplishments of no very 
singular merit, that nevertheless tell well with 
most females : he rode gallantly, and he was 
devoted to music — in this respect, and perhaps 
in some others, he resembled Alfieri. He had 
not long frequented Captain Wilson’s drawing- 
room, before he found that play was deep and 
frequent ; but his tastes were altogether foreign 
to such amusement, and he rarely joined the 
card -table. Captain Wilson was not himself 
often at home, and his absence from the ordi- 
nary pursuits of the evening passed unnoticed ; 
except the daily and deep play which appeared 
to form the habitual resource of the hostess, 
there was nothing to excite suspicion, and as 
he was not pressed to join it, he troubled him- 


818 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


self but litt.e on the subject; such was the 
bland hospitality of Mrs. Wilson, that he 
speedily found himself at home, and such were 
her attractive manners, that he soon forgot he 
had a home elsewhere : his mornings were 
spent in riding with her in the parks, for she 
almost rivalled him in horsemanship ; his even- 
ings found him always at her piano, till the 
post cocnam card -table silenced harmony, and 
by forcing him into the irksome solitude of 
society, drove him for relief to the less annoy- 
ing solitude of his chambers. The result was 
inevitable ; his liaison with Mrs. Wilson slided 
gradually, almost imperceptibly into the usual 
character, and his happiness was as perfect as 
happiness could be, when founded on guilt, 
and hourly fearing detection. This dream con- 
tinued for several months, when he began to 
feel that Mrs. Wilson’s demeanor became more 
constrained, and her temper, hitherto gentle, 
and cheerfully uniform, exhibited a fickleness 
and irritability, that could only spring from 
jealousy or wearied affection : there was no de- 
cided quarrel, for his good humor and fondness 
allowed no opportunity ; but he felt an increas- 
ing conviction that on her part, the opportu- 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


319 


nity, whenever it arose, would be gladly hailed, 
and this led to suspicion, which a trivial cir- 
cumstance confirmed into certainty. Under 
the pretext of avoiding remark, Mrs. Wilson 
had prevailed on him to intermit his evening 
visits, except at considerable intervals : but 
finding himself one evening, accidentally in 
her neighborhood, after dining out, and per- 
ceiving lights in the drawing-room, he forgot 
her injunctions, and called : the drawing-room, 
though lighted up as usual, was deserted, but 
the piano was open, and he approached it to 
amuse himself till she made her appearance ; to 
his surprise he saw a flute accompaniment open 
on the desk, and on further scrutiny, discovered 
a flute behind it, concealed by some loose music. 
He made no comment, and the hour passed 
away as usual, only with somewhat unusual 
reserve on her part, almost amounting to that 
dignity of manner that implies between parties 
so circumstanced, either offense, or a strong 
inclination to give it, if occasion could be found. 
He took his leave of her with coolness, and 
she answered the salute with marked indiffer- 
ence. On passing through the lialL, the ser- 
vant picked up a glove from the floor, and 


320 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


tolling him that he had dropped it, gave it to 
him : he found that he had both his gloves in 
his hat, but concluding that he had inadver- 
tently drawn it from his pocket, he placed it 
there, and sauntered home, gloomily meditating 
on the cause of this apparent estrangement : in 
answer to a careless inquiry, she had explained 
with equal carelessness of tone, that the flute 
belonged to a young relative of her husband, 
who had arrived from Cambridge that morning 
and had gone to the theatre ; he was reflecting 
on the tone of this explanation, when he drew 
the glove from his pocket to restore it to its 
fellow, and he at once perceived, that though a 
man’s glove, it did not belong to him ; it could 
not be the Captain’s, for he had been ordered 
to Ireland, and in consequence of his absence, 
Mrs. Wilson had long since suspended her card 
parties : the jealous distrust which now began 
to torture his mind, was wound up to the 
highest pitch the following morning, by re- 
ceiving through her servant, a letter, not 
formal or ceremonious certainly, but with in- 
finitely less than the accustomed endearments 
of expression, requesting the immediate return 
of all the music she had lent him, and sending 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


821 


back several volumes of his that she had bor- 
rowed in exchange. Stanfield could not mis- 
understand the meaning of this, and was now 
only bent on discovering his successful rival ; 
he might easily have elicited this from her ser- 
vant, but he was too high-minded to stoop to such 
unworthy means, even under the excitement of 
wounded affection ; he wrote to her in a tone 
of passionate remonstrance, hut “ acquiescing in 
what he construed to he her wish, an imme- 
diate and decided separation, if, as he had 
too much cause to fear, her affections were irre- 
vocably gone : ” he pinned this note into one of 
her music hooks, on the title page of one of her 
favorite songs, and which he well knew would 
he one of the first with which she would enter- 
tain her new admirer ; the stratagem completely 
succeeded. The next morning brought him a 
visitor, in an old college acquaintance, whom 
he had himself introduced at Harley street only a 
month before ; he was surprised, and not entire- 
ly pleased, with a call that he expected was one 
of curious, and perhaps ironical condolence, for 
his friend entered with a suppressed smile on 
his lips. 

“ Well, Thornhill, I little anticipated seeing 
14 * 


322 


ADVENTtRES OF AN ATTORNEY 


you ! I suppose you have heard of our quarrel ? 
these sort of tidings generally travel fast.” 

“ I am your comppnion in exile, by my own 
choice , did you write this letter ? ” producing 
the billet of the previous day. 

“ Why, if I did, you have no right to ask me, 
I presume ? ” 

“ Not yet, assuredly ; hut had I not found it 
in the song - book last night, I should by this 
time have had as much right to open it, as you 
to send it ! ” 

“ The devil you would ! then the flute was 
yours ? ” 

“ Yes ; and the glove too. ” 

“ And she found that I had got it, and so gave 
me my conge ? ” 

“ Exactly so. ” 

“ And you were not at the play ? ” 

“ No : perdu in the next room. ” 

“ Now tell me truly, my good fellow ; how far 
have matters gone ? ” 

“ I’m on the right side ; your letter arrived 
in the nick of time to save me.” 

“ Did you never suspect me?” 

“ Never, on my honour ; or she might have 
laid her trap in vain.” 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


323 


This prompt and frank eclair cissement opened 
the eyes of both, but I must tell the melancholy 
catrastrophe, though I do it with pain. 

I need scarcely say that this discovery of her 
character converted poor Stanfield’s fondness 
into disgust, and his jealousy into indignant 
resentment ; hut he was a generous and warm- 
hearted man, warm - hearted in spite of his ro- 
mance. He never revisited Harley street, nor 
even attempted indirectly to inform himself of 
the subsequent proceedings of the family : four 
or five years rolled away, and he had all but 
forgotten his once intimate connexion with it. 
The object of my work is not to moralize, and 
therefore I shall not discuss the morality of his 
conduct; but in this particular he certainly 
acted with a degree of prudence not very usual, 
and perhaps not very practicable with those 
who set morality at defiance when opposed tc 
passion : his affection however had received a 
rude shock, and this happily combined with the 
wish to save Mrs. Wilson’s character, which 
he still believed to be unstained in the opinion 
of the world, to fortify his resolution never again 
to enter a circle which had well nigh proved 
fatal to all his worldly prospects. In this case, 


324 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


as in the last, it wa3 in consequence of a con- 
templated marriage, that I became intimately 
acquainted with the story : and that marriage 
was broken off by the vague and exaggerated 
reports that had obtained currency. It has 
been my destiny, I scarcely know why, to be 
the resource of all my college acquaintance when 
they have found themselves involved in difficul- 
ty, by these deviations from the straight path : 
few young men are sensible of the repugnance 
that is felt, even by those who are not particu- 
larly straight - laced, to the intimate approaches 
of those who labor under the obloquy of a re- 
laxed morality. Stanfield, with more ingen- 
uousness than sagacity, had disclosed to Thorn- 
hill the full extent of his entanglement, when 
he found that the discovery of the letter had 
partially betrayed the secret : and the latter, 
from pique perhaps at being so nearly duped, 
made no secret of the matter ; hence it obtained 
foi Stanfield an unfortunate celebrity of which 
he was unconscious, till his offer of marriage 
received from the lady’s father a point-blank 
rejection, founded on his alleged seduction of 
Mrs. Wilson. It was in this dilemma that he 
asked my advice. I immediately set on foot 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


325 


diligent inquiries about the Harley street coterie , 
but the career of all such parties is as brief as 
it is gay and dissipated : of the Wilsons I could 
learn nothing, except that he had sold out, and 
was extinct : some of their set were in the 
King’s Bench — others abroad — a few had 
vanished entirely out of sight; the “ wind had 
passed over them, and they were gone.” I 
could not assist my friend, though I called on 
the father of his intended wife, and reported 
the result of my inquiries, urging upon him 
that it was severe to repudiate the alliance of a 
man, otherwise most estimable, because he had, 
while yet a youth, been victimized by a gaming 
and unprincipled set of fashionable sharpers. 
It was all in vain ; the old gentleman retorted 
that their ruin might be the consequence of 
their connexion with Stanfield, and he was in- 
exorable. He further assured me that his 
daughter herself fully acquiesced in the pro- 
priety of his decision, and I communicated 
this to Stanfield, for the chance of its recon- 
ciling him to his inevitable disappointment. At 
first he was cut to the heart, but he recovered 
the blow so rapidly, that I was surprised at his 
equanimity. It was about ten days after this 


326 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


final rejection, that he called at my office, ob- 
viously laboring under much anxiety of mind, 
which I at first attributed to his altered pros- 
pects. He soon relieved my apprehensions on 
that score. 

“ I have not once thought of her for this week 
past.” 

“No ! then what ails you ?” 

“I have found Sophia, or rather she has 
found me !” 

“ Confound the woman : I wish she was fairly 
hanged out of your way.” 

“ Say that word again, Sir, and it is your 
last!” 

And he rose from his seat with a look of 
frenzy that startled me, clenched his fist with 
such violence, that I at first thought he was 
going to strike me, and I retreated. “ Stanfield,” 
I exclaimed, “ can this he possible ?” The ques- 
tion was put mildly, hut reproachfully, and it 
instantly restored him to his senses; he hurst 
into tears, entreated my forgiveness, and in the 
same breath told me he wanted only my intro- 
duction to a physician of whom he had heard 
me speak highly. I gave him the address, 
which he took down in silence, and was going. 


IK SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


327 


“ Stay a moment, Stanfield, I guess your pur 
pose ; ca 1 I assist you ?” 

“She is dying! she will scarcely recollect you, 
but if you desire, come with me.” 

“For your own sake, I do desire it, but not 
from curiosity. I have none, except to hear 
how you happened to meet again so unexpect- 
edly.” 

On our way he explained it all. A few days 
after I had reported to him the result of my 
interview with Mr. Fortescue, he had been sum- 
moned to the door of his chambers by a single 
knock, when he found it proceeded from a little 
dirty and half- dressed girl of fourteen, who put 
a soiled paper into his hands, folded up like a 
letter: at first he declined reading it, conclud- 
ing that it wus some begging petition, but the 
faithful messenger was not to be repulsed. 

“ The lady was sure you would not refuse her, 
Sir, if you knew how ill she was.” 

This appeal was sufficient for Stanfield, 
though he little imagined who “ the lady ” could 
be; the letter contained only a line, but though 
even that line was without a signature, Stanfield 
had not forgotten the beautiful writing of one 
that had once been so dear to him. “ Come and 


3 28 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 

see me. I would not ask you, but 1 have not 
many hours to live,” was all it said, and this 
was more than enough; he instantly accom- 
panied the child. 

It was in a back room, up two pair of stairs, 
in one of those dark and filthy streets adjoining 
Gray’s Inn lane, that are too often stigmatized 
as dens of infamy, by those who forget that vice 
claims as near 5 kindred to wealth, as it does 
to poverty and distress, that Stanfield found the 
wretched woman who had once been the idol of 
his affections, and who was, still, more dear to 
him than he dared acknowledge even to himself. 
She was lying on a palliasse, scarcely covered 
by half a blanket, whose deficiencies were sup- 
plied by a rug which a dog might have scorned 
to touch. The weather was cold, but the rusty 
grate, half supplied with the usual complement 
of bars, showed no traces of fuel; a tattered rem- 
nant of a silk cloak, of those tawdry colors 
that indicate the wearer’s class, was suspended 
before the broken window as a substitute for a 
curtain, and two gowns, equally characteristic, 
hung upon a solitary peg; other furniture there 
was none: on a paper- trunk, resting on its end 
to supply the place of a table, there stood a cup 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


329 


of tea, cold and milldess, a slice of bread and 
butter untouched, and a saucer tilted on one side, 
to hold the ink which the poor sufferer had just 
borrowed to write the note which Stanfield had 
received. When the girl reached the door of 
this wretched apartment, and opening it, beck- 
oned to Stanfield to follow her, though impa- 
tient to enter he felt so agitated, that he was 
compelled to wait a minute on the landing-place 
to recover himself, and Mrs. Wilson concluded 
that her application was unsuccessful. She 
faintly said, just raising her head from the 
bolster, and drawing an old reticule from under 
it, (there was no pillow) “He will not come? 
well, I don’t deserve it, but here is sixpence for 
you, Alary; I shall not want it, though it is my 
last;” and she sunk back, exhausted with the 
effort, while the child, with a sort of intuitive 
delicacy that I have often witnessed in the poor, 
declined the proffered reward, adding, “ I hope 
you’ll want it yet, Ma’am, for I have brought 
the gentleman.” Stanfield could refrain no 
longer; he rushed into the room, knelt by the 
bed - side, and with all the tenderness of former 
love, embraced the dying victim of woe and 
want, before she was well aware of his approach. 


330 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


His first care was to provi le her with attend- 
ance and ordinary comforts, for she was desti- 
tute even of assistance, except what she occa- 
sionally received gratuitously from the girl, who 
was the daughter of another lodger in the same 
house. She was incapable of immediate re- 
moval, but she so far rallied under affectionate 
nursing, that Stanfield entertained sanguine 
hopes of her ultimate recovery. On the fifth 
day after his first call, he carried her down to 
a coach, and had her conveyed to respectable 
lodgings which he had engaged for her in 
Guildford street. It was here that I found her 
when I accompanied him. I had never seen 
her but once before, when riding with him in 
the park; she was then in all the spring of 
youth and beauty. I had noticed her with 
admiration, but with little interest; when how- 
ever, I saw her now, her face still glowing with 
the hectic flush of confirmed consumption, but 
her forehead and neck pale even to ivory white- 
ness, and her hollow, deep blue eyes, gleaming 
with preternatural brightness, while they fol- 
lowed every look and every movement of her 
lover with fond gratefulness for his tender 
solicitude, and besp<; ke a cheerfulness not the 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


331 


less attractive because it, was subdued by tbe 
inward conviction that ber present happiness 
would be but the sunshine of a few hours, 
never, to the end of life, can I forget the im- 
pression that the contemplation of her expres- 
sive countenance then made on my mind ! and 
her affection at length was innocent, for she 
bad been long a widow. 

It was more than a fortnight before she was 
sufficiently strong to tell her tale of misery in 
a connected strain; she expressly desired my 
presence at the time : as for Stanfield, he never 
left her day or night ; he slept on a sofa in the 
adjoining room, and nursed her like an infant. 
She had already at intervals, as she found 
strength and spirits for it, put him in posses- 
sion of all the occurrences of her life since their 
sejmration, nor had her sincerity in the least 
diminished his fondness, it rather increased it; 
he had in return avowed to her his intended 
marriage and the reason of its being given up, 
and it was this circumstance that induced her, 
with a truly generous anxiety for his future 
happiness, to wish for my presence, that I 
might, if necessary, attest his innocence, at 
least of her seduction. I cannot pretend at 


332 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


this interval of time, to give her statement in 
her own words, for though I noted down the 
principal facts, I made no other memorandum 
of it. It was in substance as follows : 

“ You will be distressed, Mr. Sharpe, ” and 
nhe hesitated as if for a word, “ I should say 
disgusted, Sir, (I know not why I should be 
too nice about the word, ) when I tell you all, 
but you must prepare yourself for a sad story. 
Captain Wilson married me because he wanted 
money, and he thought I had more than* I really 
had ; this led to all our misery ; you look as if 
you would ask why I married him ? for the 
same reason, I believe, that most young girls 
do the same thing ! I wanted to be indepen- 
dent, and have an establishment of my own, as 
it is called. Alas ! I little knew how little in- 
dependence there is in married life, where there 
is no affection : in twelve months he had spent 
the whole of my two thousand pounds ; he had 
nothing of his own, besides his pay : but we 
Lad a well -furnished house, a large acquaint- 
ance, and we found a resource in play : they 
may well call such places hells, Mr. Sharpe ! 
our house was truly one, though we kept up 
appearances so well, that it was little suspected. 


IN SEARCH OE PRACTICE. 


333 


My husband did not often show himself at our 
evening parties; he left them to me, that I 
might seduce the young men who frequented 
them, into intimacy, before they were alarmed 
into distrust of him: you will excuse my not 
dwelling on these scenes, I have not strength 
for it now ; it is enough to say that I was too 
often successful, and my wicked husband con- 
nived at it.” 

She was here obliged to stop, and I entreated 
her to drop the matter, as she had explained 
enough for me to guess the rest ; but she mo- 
tioned Stanfield to take me into the next room, 
and he then told me that her heart was so en- 
tirely set upon the disclosure, that it would give 
her more relief to make it, at whatever trial of 
strength and spirits ; the motive she assigned 
for doing it, was one to which we both felt 
bound to defer. Finding herself more capable 
of exertion than she had yet been since she had 
been removed, she had resolved on receiving 
the sacrament, and all the past week had been 
spent in anxious preparation for it. Stanfield 
had been her spiritual instructor. He had 
urged her to send for some of her family, but 
she had peremptorily refused ; not from shame 


334 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


or animosity, though she had applied to them 
in the extremity of her sufferings, and received 
no reply ; but she observed that if her brother 
or sisters came, (her parents were dead,) they 
would, from ill-timed regard to appearances, 
exelude Stanfield from her room, and this 
would be a blow she could not in her then state 
of debility, expect to survive ; she wished, 
however, for their sake as well as his, to afford 
every explanation she could of her past life, as 
the only reparation she felt it in her power to 
offer. We returned to her bedside, and she 
immediately resumed the subject. 

“ Capt. Wilson has gone before me, Mr. 
Sharpe, and I ought not to speak of him 
harshly, but I have found it difficult to avoid 
it: I forgive him as I hope,” — she paused, and 
turned to Stanfield, “ nay, George, I am sure 
my Saviour has forgiven me ! ” She again ad- 
dressed herself to me, with a gentle smile on 
her face . “it was not easy to ride out with him 
every day, and sing with him every evening, 
and carry on our schemes against his pocket ! 
Capt. Wilson was incensed at this child’s play, 
as he called it, and insisted on me giving it up, 
if I could not turn my influence to better ao* 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


335 


count. It was this that led to my intrigues 
with Mr. Thornhill. You would not quarrel 
with me, George, and I was obliged to quarrel 
with you, though it went to my heart to do so. 
The return of the music -books broke off all 
acquaintance with Mr. Thornhill, and this 
second failure caused a total rupture with my 
husband, whose necessities at that moment 
were most urgent. We quarrelled, and he 
turned me out of doors : it mattered little for 
that, for the next day our furniture was seized, 
and I must have gone then at all events. For 
a few weeks I took refuge with an old domestic, 
but I could not remain with her long, and 
what was I to do ? I knew your generosity, 
my beloved friend, but pride forbade my 
appealing to it under such a change of for- 
tunes, especially after I had used you ill. I 
had no choice : I did as others do ; and yet, 
George, you may be satisfied that my attach- 
ment remained unchanged when you see that 
I have preserved this little gift in all my cruel 
fortunes, though it has been in the hands of 
half the pawnbrokers in London ! ” She pro- 
duced a plain gold buckle, which Stanfield had 
had made for the skirt of her riding habit. “ I 


m 


ADVENTURES OF /IN ATTORNEY 


tremble to think,” she added, “ of what I have 
often submitted to, that I might redeem this 
valued reiic 1 " 

She could continue no further, for this recur- 
rence to her degraded position was too exquis- 
itely painful, and she fell back utterly exhausted 
As soon as Stanfield had restored her to a state 
of temporary ease, by aid of the usual cordials, 
I took my leave. I saw her once more, at her 
own earnest entreaty, to receive a last farewell, 
but that week had not expired when she died 
in Stanfield’s arms, not in sadness, but in the 
calm expectation of a sincere penitent who had 
laid her sins and her sorrows at the foot of the 
cross. 

I attended her remains to the grave, in com- 
pany with my poor friend, and in that grave he 
has since been laid himself. In discharge of 
the duty which Mrs. Wilson entrusted to me, 
I communicated the outline of her story to Mr. 
Fortescue; he discredited every word of it, and 
adhered to his first resolve. Stanfield however, 
though unknown to me, had forever abandoned 
all thought of marriage with his daughter, or 
indeed with any one else : not that he brooded 
over Mrs. Wilson’s loss, after the first shock 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


337 


was over ; for a time he was depressed to the 
last degree, but this wore away with time, and 
he recovered his usual spirits. Ilis health how- 
ever was seriously affected : I have heard medi- 
cal men observe, that though consumptive 
complaints are not infectious, there is a danger 
of infection if a party predisposed to receive it 
is brought into frequent contact with a patient 
in the last stage of a decline. It may have been 
owing to this cause, that within a year of Mrs. 
Wilson’s death, he exhibited the usual pulmon- 
ary symptoms in an aggravated form. It is 
one of those curious weaknesses of the human 
mind which we cannot trace satisfactorily to 
their source, that though Stanfield was un- 
doubtedly a man of sense, as well as a man of 
talent, and, as I have observed, bore his loss 
with firmness, and forced his spirits to rally at 
his bidding, he appeared to contemplate the 
progress of his malady with a feeling near akin 
to satisfaction. In deference to the wishes of 
his friends he made the usual sanatory tour to 
Devonshire and the south of France, and re- 
turned with the usual result, — increased de- 
bility and exhausted spirits. He sent for me 

to see him; he had not yet laid aside his 

15 


338 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


mourning, and “ I think I never shall,” was 
his reply to a hint that I gave him of his in- 
dulging in it too long. 

“ That is the very topic on which I wanted 
to see you, Sharpe. You have not forgotten 
where poor Sophia died ? 99 

“ Certainly not ; what then ? ” 

“ You must engage that room for me, and 
the adjoining one for yourself; I wish to die 
there too ? ” 

Touched as I was with this romantic trait 
of feeling, I resisted, and remonstrated against 
an indulgence of it, that his friends would call 
silly, and all would think imprudent ; hut it 
was in vain. 

“ I know they would call it silly, and there- 
fore I do not ask them; and as for the im- 
prudence, it will raise my spirits rather than 
depress them ; hut my strength is already gone 
heyond the power of the mind to affect : will 
you refuse me ? 99 

I could not; the apartments were again 
engaged, and strange tor say, from the hour 
that he took possession of them, his vivacity 
seemed restored ! He did not however last 
much longer, I soon followed him to her tomb; 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


339 


and by the last injunction of bis dying lips, I 
followed him — alone ! 

Should my readers be inclined to blame me 
for this long digression, I must admit that 
there is in it little of practical utility, in refer- 
ence to my avowed object; all I can say for 
myself is, that to my own mind the tale is in- 
structive, on the folly of rejecting imputed 
criminality as incredible, because it is laid to 
the charge of parties apparently beyond sus- 
picion : if I have trespassed too long in refer- 
ence to this position, I beg pardon, but I 
could not bring myself to cut short the tragedy 
in the middle. 


340 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


CHAPTER XXII. 


“Hoc vero occultum, Intestinum ac domesticum malum. non modo 
non exsistit, verum etiam opprimit, antequam prospicere, atque ex- 
plorare potueris.”— I n Vebr. 

“ Certet mea diligentia cum illorum omnium cupiditate.” 

The embarrassing situation in which an at- 
torney iinds himself placed, as the recipient of 
extreme conhdence on domestic quarrels and 
suspicions, not unfrequently from several mem- 
bers of the same family, requires from him at 
times, a degree of tact in informing himself of 
the exact measure of credit which he ought to 
give, not only of a different class but of far 
more difficult attainment than the usual pro- 
fessional address requisite for sifting a witness ; 
and for this obvious reason ; that he can have 
no recourse to third parties, to decide between 
brother and brother, husband and wife, parent 
and child, on which side the weight of evidence 
lies: we are often invited by persons standing 


IN SEARCH OF FRACTICE. 


341 


in these near relations, to settle their conflicting 
claims upon each other, and not seldom to 
adjust their quarrels, and restore domestic har- 
mony. This is the most irksome of all pro- 
fessional duties, and in some respects the most 
difficult to discharge. If no private acquain- 
tance subsists between the attorney and his 
client’s family, the course is clear enough ; 
advise him for the best, as regards his personal 
interest, and decline all part in private quarrels 
or discussions, ultra the strict limits of pro- 
fessional duty, leaving such matters to them- 
selves, or handing over the disputants to the 
kind interposition of mutual friends; but it 
often happens that the family solicitor is invited 
by all to become the family referee, and to 
mediate between relatives so circumstanced, that 
mediation, unaided by legal knowledge, must 
prove of no avail : in such cases it is unfriendly, 
cowardly, and selfish, to decline the office, 
merely to avoid the hazard of being drawn into 
dissension ; but it is most difficult to discharge 
it, for the reason I have assigned ; that there is 
no disinterested witness from whom facts can 
be correctly gleaned, and by whose evidence 
the merits of the quarrel can be ascertained : 


342 


ADVENTURES OP AN ATTORNEY 


the balance of probability, aided by onr 
personal knowledge of individual character, is 
then our only guide. 

A very singular affair of this kind once 
occurred to me, in which the peace of a whole 
family was at stake, and in which I must 
acknowledge with all humility that I was 
completely in error, and occasioned I fear, for 
a time, more mischief than I was called in to 
heal. 

A gentleman who had long been my client, 
gave me instructions for his will ; his property 
was not very large, and as he had only two 
sons between whom he wished it to be fairly 
divided, the limitations did not threaten to be 
very complicated: one of these sons was in 
India, the other, Frederic, at home, and both 
of them married men. He had resolved to 
bequeath the whole equally between his sons, 
if at his death they had each the same number 
of children in being or in immediate expecta- 
tion ; if otherwise, it was to be divided into as 
many portions as there were members of the 
two families, and each member, including the 
parents, was to take per capita , as we term it, 
the fathers enjoying the interest of their chil- 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


343 


dren’s shares for life. This was the outline of 
his scheme, and he announced it to his son in 
England; the son immediately called on me 
and in the strongest terms deprecated such an 
arrangement, though apparently nothing could 
be more equitable : I of course referred him to 
his father, and was obliged to turn a deaf ear 
to all his expostulations : a few days after the 
son’s wife also called on me, protesting in 
language as decided as her husband’s against the 
plan, but speaking of her husband in terms of 
such sarcasm and mysterious reproach, that I was 
convinced, whatever might be his objections to 
the proposed disposition of the property, they 
were very different in character from his wife’s. 
I gave her the same answer : a week passed 
over, and a brother of the wife in India also 
favored me with a visit, and dropped many 
hints of the general dissatisfaction that all the 
family would feel, not excepting his brother- 
in-law, if Frederic were allowed the unre- 
stricted enjoyment of the interest of his chil- 
dren’s expectant fortunes. On perceiving the 
universal repugnance to the proposed distribu- 
tion, I thought it right to suggest to my client 
the propriety of reconsidering his instructions ; 


344 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


he was a man of very manageable and reason- 
able temper, and determined on having an 
immediate explanation with his children ; but 
the result was far from satisfactory; no plan 
that he could devise would meet all their 
wishes, though it led to certain discoveries that 
menaced eternal discord, and even a separation 
of Frederic and his wife : the latter charged 
him with infidelity, and the brother of the wife 
in India corroborated the charge. Frederic 
denied it with indignation, but in vain ; it 
seemed that his wife had for a long time past 
indulged herself in dogging his steps, intercept- 
ing his letters, bribing his servants, and such 
like honorable reconnoissances too frequent with 
jealous ladies; and the fact was too truly 
ascertained that poor Frederic was in the habit 
of visiting a fair creature that lived in a village 
near town. The father was much incensed, the 
son not less so, and the wife the worst of all ; 
for Frederic, while he vowed his innocence, 
also vowed that no power on earth should 
make him drop acquaintance with the girl, or 
continue it with his jealous vixen of a wife. 
This was the state of affairs when I was invited 
by common consent to arbitrate between the 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


345 


parties. I exerted myself to probe the case to 
the bottom, but I could make nothing of it 
consistent with Frederic’s innocence, and more 
especially when even to my friendly and quiet 
remonstrances, he contented himself with giv- 
ing an emphatic negative to all hope of his 
detaching himself from this unfortunate con- 
nexion. I set it down to infatuation, ac- 
quiesced in the necessity of his allowing his 
wife a separate maintenance, and concurred 
with the father and all the rest of the family in 
the expediency of altering the testamentary 
arrangements. Frederic, to avoid the painful 
eclat of an exposure, went to spend eight months 
in Italy. At the end of that time he returned, 
and the whole mystery was now cleared up : 
the generous fellow would rather have died than 
disclosed it without his brother’s sanction, nor 
was it ever disclosed beyond the family, till his 
sister-in-law in India died. The supposed 
chere amie, the cause of all the clatter, was a 
former wife of the brother in India, a girl of 
low character, whom he had married in a fit 
of folly. Frederic was the only one intrusted 
with the secret, and he sacrificed himself to 

save his brother from an indictment for bigamy, 

15 * 


346 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


and perhaps “a bullet through the thorax ” 
as preparatory tnereto. It was scarcely less 
generous of him to withhold the explanation 
from me ; for had he given it, my own em* 
barrassment as to the course to he pursued, 
would have been not inferior to his : to have 
divulged it to his wife would have been the 
same thing as advertising it in the Times ; to 
have explained it to the father would have, 
necessarily, caused the disinheritance of the 
brother, and without divulging it to one or the 
other, I could have hoped for no credit to my 
attestation of his innocence. I was thankful 
for the escape. 


XN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


347 


CHAPTER XXIII. 


M A rotten case abides no handling.”— H en. IV. 

14 Orleans . He never did harm that I heard of, 
Constable. Nor will do none to-morrow.”— Hen. V. 


I have scribbled away in rather a desultory 
vein for some time past; but it is difficult to 
say whether it fatigues one more to write or to 
read a work duly arranged under heads and 
subdivisions, in the orthodox style of pulpit 
eloquence. It wearies one uncommonly, to be 
on an eternal hunt for the “ thread of the dis- 
course,” however necessary it may be to help 
one through a labyrinth of doctrinal and prac- 
tical intricacy. It is all very well in a brief: 
there the duty is to instruct, amusement being 
wholly out of the question ; if the nature of the 
cause admits of it, and wit is ready, an attorney 
may venture to carry the utile dulci principle 
even into his brief, but he must do it very skill- 
fully; most counsel only read every alternate 


348 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


page, some not quite so much ; he may therefore 
venture so far as to carry on the argument 
through the first, third, fifth, and alternate 
pages, and the jest through the intermediate 
ones; only taking the precaution so to adjust the 
tastes of his leader and junior, as to make sure 
of the one reading the facts, if the other is con- 
tent with the jokes — both tell equally in taxa- 
tion of costs, and that is, of course, our first 
care. I have taken this rule for my guide, in 
drawing my brief for the public : the price of a 
hook depends on its length, not on its merit ; 
hence, in the affair of taxation, I shall he at all 
events a gainer; the public rarely read more 
than half a hook, if they look at it at all : of 
those who do read, the leaders read for instruc- 
tion, the juniors for amusement; hut there are 
twenty juniors for one leader: hence, every 
author who wants a liberal allowance of costs 
from his publisher, (and they are sad screws, 
even the best of them,) should give twenty 
pages of nonsense for one of argument. Can 
there be a better apology for a desultory vein ? 
But I will prove, nevertheless, that I am not 
wholly lost to the duty of method in composi- 
tion, by reminding my reader that I have told 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


349 


him how to keep upon terms with clients, 
counsel, attorneys, and witnesses; and here we 
might suppose that we had laid down all the 
shoals in the professional chart; I should be 
an unskillful pilot, however, if I withheld a 
word of advice on conducting a vessel safely, 
when she proves not altogether seaworthy ; or 
to drop my metaphor, a hint on the manage- 
ment of awkward cases , may not be out of place. 
A single instance will explain what I mean by 
an “ awkward case.” I have given a few of 
them already, hut only by way of illustrating 
some collateral point. 

Personal squabbles where both parties are in 
the wrong, that is, ninety-nine out of a hun- 
dred, are very “ awkward cases ; ” and more 
especially where the symptoms indicate a breach 
of the peace ; but this is rare ; peace in a legal 
sense, is very seldom broken when an attorney 
gets an inkling of the matter, though it is not 
always easy to keep up appearances as well as 
if it were. An affair of this kind occurred to 
me some years ago. The senior performers in 
the scene were two highly respectable tradesmen, 
in wealthy circumstances, and with whose 
families I was on terms of equal intimacy. 1 


350 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


have often noticed that young gentlemen in 
this class of life, are more eager aspirants aftel 
gory fame, and more touchy on questions of 
honor, than those of purer patrician blood. 

I had reached the enviable certainty of profes- 
sional income that warrants a beginner (in 
modern days) in riding daily to his office from 
cheerful lodgings at Hampstead. It is an idle 
habit, I confess; and one of the evils of it is that 
twenty minutes are daily lounged over a news- 
paper, before one has courage to open the gener- 
al post letters. This was my occupation when 
in rolled Mr. Watty, in agitation that seemed 
to portend a ne excat regno for a debtor to a large 
amount. He was a man of that convivial cut, 
that somehow or other one seldom sees out of 
the city ; of the ordinary height, but of far more 
than ordinary rotundity. He, like another of 
my heroes, carried before him a semisphere that 
argued capacity of the highest order; and it 
would have been as hard for him as for FalstafF 
to have seen his own knees, but for a happy 
provision of Hature, who from his birth must 
have foreseen the necessity of guarding against 
this inconvenience : his lower extremities des- 
cribed a conic section, of which the minor axis 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


351 


was to the major in the proportion of five to 
six; rotundity was the character of his whole 
person; his head was round; his face was 
round; his — in short, a perfect circularity of 
outline marked the man. 

“ Dreadful affair, Mr. Sharpe ! sad business 
this ! ” and he wiped away the perspiration 
from his forehead, while he paused to recover 
breath, “ What’s to be done, Sir ? eh ? ” 

“ I have heard nothing about it, Mr. Watty.” 
“Don’t know how you should — only heard 
it myself an hour ago.” 

“ What’s the matter ? ” 

“Tom Watty — Tom Wildblood — Tom 
Devil wants to be shot : that’s all ! — always 
thought he’d be hanged soon enough.” 

“ Enlisted, I suppose ? ” 

“’Listed! — wish he were, or any thing else 
in an honest way. He’s as sure to be hanged 
as my name’s Watty : that is, if he be not shot.” 

“ Who is going to shoot him ? has he got 
into a quarrel ? ” 

“That’s where it is — you’ve just hit it — 
head over ears in a quarrel, and no help for it ! ” 
“ Well, let him get out of it for himself: he 
will know better another time.” 


352 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


“ Meanwhile he’s shot ! a dead man, Mr. 
Sharpe ! What’s to he done ? ” 

“ There’s a challenge then ? ” 

“ Didn’t I tell you so an hour ago ? ” 

“ No : where is he ? ” 

“ Snug at home — locked him up while 1 
came to you.” 

“ Go hack to him then ; take him in a coach 
to Bow street ; lock him up there ; and he’ll be 
obliged to you all his life.” 

“ No use without you — the dog’s turned 
sulky — swears he’ll fight — no holding him.” 

“ Trust me for that ; off with him to Bow 
street ; I’ll meet you there in half an hour, and 
you’ll see that he is as quiet as a lamb.” 

Mr. Watty waddled away a little, assured, 
and as soon as I had read my letters, I proposed 
following him ; hut I was scarcely ready, when 
I was intercepted by his friend and neighbor, 
Mr. Gillett, a very prosperous tailor, who had 
gradually mounted from the shop-board to the 
elevation of an army contractor. Gillett was 
the very antipodes of my friend Watty, as neat 
and dapper in figure as he was in dress, and 
very meek and quiet withal. He was accom- 
panied by a stripling of nineteen or twenty f 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


353 


whose small foppery and exuberant self-com- 
placency were precisely of that class that raise 
the foot involuntary into the position of an 
incipient kick ; and the monkey affected mus- 
tachios too ! 

“ I beg your pardon, Mr. Sharpe,” began 
the father, “ I see that I am interrupting your 
letters; but you will excuse me, Sir, when you 
hear my unhappy story. This young gentle- 
man — I am sorry to mention it, I am indeed, 
Sir, — this young gentleman makes me ashamed 
of myself ! he really does, Sir ! he makes me 
ashamed of myself, and of him too, Sir ! ” 

“ i^o need of that, father ! I’ve done nothing 
for a gentleman to be ashamed of : a gentleman 
must act like a gentleman, father ! ” 

“ I don’t deny it, Ilarry : I don’t deny it, by 
no means. I know what is due to a gentle- 
man, or I never could have made you one, 
Harry; but it is not genteel, not at all genteel 
to my thinking, to be talking of pulling of a 
gentleman’s nose. I’ll he judged by Mr. 
Sharpe if it is.” 

“ Certainly not ; but what’s all this about ? ” 
“ My honor, Sir,” cackled out the lad in a 
mincing tone, and drawing his fore -finger 


354 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


down each moustache the way of the gram, 
“ my honor has been insulted, Sir (hem) — and 
father here won’t let me have that (hem) — that 
ample satisfaction, Sir, that a gentleman, in 
my humble opinion, is entitled to, Sir,” 

“ Pray who has insulted jour honor ? I don’t 
understand you.” 

“Nor I neither, Mr. Sharpe : I don’t know 
what the boy means at all, not I. I have 
lived to be fifty, and my honor was never in- 
sulted yet, as I know of.” 

“ No boy either, father, if you please: you 
forget that I’ve left school these two years, and 
kept three terms.” 

“ Were I your father, Sir, I would send you 
hack again, and have your honor insulted to 
some purpose. You have been sending a chal- 
lenge, I conclude, to some juvenile puppy like 
yourself? ” 

“ Thank ye, Mr. Sharpe, thank ye for that: 
that’t just what I’ve been a saying to him all 
along, or what I wished to say, for I didn’t 
exactly know how.” 

“Ra-ally, Mr. Sharpe, — ra-ally, Sir, on my 
honor I can’t say, Sir — I ra-ally scarcely 
know, Sir, how I am to understand this. Do 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


855 


you mean, — that is, am I to suppose, Sir — do 
you mean to insult me, Sir ? ” 

And thereupon Mr. Harry Gillett began to 
stare, and frown, and look uncommonly fierce. 
I regarded him sternly for about a minute, 
without replying to this piece of swagger, or 
seeming to notice it ; and still keeping my eye 
upon him, I addressed myself to his father. 

“ How did the lad get into this mess ? ” 

“ All about a lady, Sir — a handkerchief, I be- 
lieve — both picked it up, and knocked their heads 
together ; but I can’t get to the rights of it.” 

“ And thereupon Master Harry sent a chal- 
lenge ? ” 

“Yes.” 

“ And who is the other blockhead ? ” 

“ Mr. William Watty.” 

“ The grocer’s son ? ” 

“ Yes.” 

“ Well, young gentleman, do you propose to 
carry this farce any further ? ” 

“Ka-ally, Sir, (still stroking the dear mus- 
taches,) my honor compels me, Sir; sorry to 
disoblige the governor, Sir; but my honor 
leaves me no alternative, Sir. I ra-ally mean 
fighting : I do indeed, Sir.” 


356 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


“ Very well : then we’ll all fight it out to 
gether.” 

And accordingly I sent for a coach ; and wq 
all got into it — Master Harry not evincing the 
least reluctance. We arrived at Bow street; 
stated the case quietly to the magistrate ; and 
he, with great judgment, bound over the lad in 
his own recognizance, for ten pounds, and at 
my earnest request, required two sureties in 
twenty pounds more. Watty’s son, who had 
preceded us only a quarter of an hour, was 
subjected to the same terms ; and I prevailed 
on both parents to refuse their aid, so the hoys 
were comfortably locked up together for want* 
of sureties, to fight it out in a closet ten feet 
square. To make sure of the babies having 
enough of it, uninterrupted by paternal tender- 
ness, I carried Messrs. Watty and Gillett home 
to dine with me, kept them late over a bottle of 
wine, and returned to the police-office about 
nine in the evening, to give bail for the young 
gentlemen, “if we found them agreeable,” as 
the tailor called it ; and agreeable enough they 
were. They were still in custody ; but being 
half- starved in consequence of being locked up 
since eleven o’clock, and having but ten shillings 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


357 


between them, they had clubbed their purses 
together, sent out for a steak and a bottle of 
wine, and were as sociable and merry as twin 
brothers over a birthday cake ! 

Another awkward case of similar, hut more 
serious character, occurred to me about the 
same time ; in this instance, however, T was in- 
vited to he “ the friend,” as it is called, not the 
attorney. A distant connexion of my own, a 
young barrister who has since obtained very 
extensive and well- merited success, called on 
me with a letter that he had just received from 
a military man, a captain on half- pay, but 
once belonging to a distinguished hussar regi- 
ment, and a frequent guest, as I have been in- 
formed, at Carlton House. This letter purport- 
ed to be a chastising lecture for certain indiscre- 
tions of which my young friend (he was not 
then two -and -twenty) had been guilty to a 
widow lady — pardoned, though not pardonable 
indiscretions. The gallant captain was no re- 
lation to the fair widow; but he had certain 
designs upon her, not of the most creditable 
kind, which I will presently explain. He adopt- 
ed this chivalrous course to obtain her confi- 
dence in furtherance of those designs. I read 


358 


ADVENTURES OE AN ATTORNEY 


the letter ; and plain enough it certainly was, 
though written more in the tone of bitter ex- 
postulation than studied insult. 

“ What do you think of it, Sharpe? ” 

“ ’ Tis intelligible enough, certainly ; but 
you know you have behaved very ill.” 

“ ISTo doubt of that ; but it is no affair of his ; 
nor, I am sure, would you wish me to keep up 
such a connexion.” 

“ Certainly not ; but you might have broken 
it off more gently.” 

“ Perhaps I might, but it is no affair of his : 
will you call on the man for me ? ” 

“ Call on him ! do you mean call him out ? ” 

“ To be sure I do. I can’t put up with this, 
of course ! ” 

“ And you want me to be your second ? ” 

“ I do.” 

Ilere was another ridiculous affair; except 
that the young gentleman’s birth and profes- 
sion, and the aggravated character of the insult, 
furnished him with a quasi apology — his op- 
ponent being also a man of family as well as an 
officer. I felt that this was no case for masris- 
terial interference, and I was persuaded that if 
I declined the office, he would get into worse 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


359 


bands before the day was over; so after a little 
reflection, I consented to take his message. 
We prepared a reply in the usual form, and 
away I posted to the captain’s lodgings. I 
sent up my card, and found him lounging over 
his breakfast, though it was long past noon. 
He received me with extreme courtesy. 

“ I have called on you, Sir, in consequence 
of a letter that you have addressed to Mr. 
Stephenson.” 

“ I expected to hear from Mr. Stephenson, 
Sir,” stiffly inclining his head. 

“Your expectation, whatever it may have 
been, will not be disappointed, Sir,” I replied 
with equal hauteur. “ I have a letter from him 
in my pocket.” He extended his hand to re- 
ceive it : but I did not even offer it. 

“ Excuse me, Captain Hanson : before I de- 
liver this letter, for there is a responsibility in 
delivering as well as in sending it, I must 
entreat you to indulge me with a word of ex- 
planation on my own account. I have read 
your letter to Mr. Stephenson, and I must 
frankly avow that I do not understand it.” 

“ I thought I had written with sufficient 
plainness, Sir: I intended to do so.” 


360 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


“ It is very plain, undoubtedly, except in one 
important point, and it is by your explanation 
on that point that I must be guided in my own 
further interference. 

“ To what do you allude ? ” 

“ Why did you write it at all ? ” 

“After Mr. Stephenson's behavior to Mrs. 
Roberts, I conceive that any gentleman of her 
acquaintance is entitled to remonstrate with 
him.” 

“ Then you designed it as a remonstrance , 
Capt. Ranson? am I to put that construction 
upon it ? ” 

“You ma) put what construction you please 
on it, Sir.” 

“ I avail myself of that permission. In refer- 
ence to your seniority (he was more than forty), 
you were entitled, as a friend of both parties, to 
speak in the language of 'paternal remonstrance 
to one who is young enough to be your son. 
I shall, therefore, tell him that I have your 
authority for viewing the letter in that light; 
and under that impression, I shall, with your 
leave, throw his answer in the fire? ” 

“ Exactly as you think proper, Sir.” 

“ Very well : then I burn it.” 


IN SEA'RCII OF PRACTICE. 


361 


And I threw the challenge into the lire. The 
man rose from his seat, spontaneously took me 
by the hand, and cordially shaking it, said, 

“ Sir, you may go further, and tell Stephen- 
son that I am heartily sorry that I wrote it, and 
will gladly shake hands with him too; but 
that you may see I was prepared for you, had 
you not so ingeniously settled the matter, my 
friend Captain Thornton is in the next room, 
and will show you the letter that brought him 
here.” 

And true enough, he introduced me to Cap- 
tain Thornton, who came in with a note still 
open in his hand, that had been written an 
hour before I called, to request his assistance at 
the expected meeting ! I am sorry that I must 
dispel the favorable impression likely to be pro- 
duced on the mind of the reader by this gener- 
ous trait, by giving the remainder of the 
“ awkward case.” About a month after this 
eclaircissement , Mrs. Roberts, the lady in ques- 
tion, called on me to ask my advice, the gallant 
captain having availed himself of the hold he 
had acquired upon her confidence by thus es- 
pousing her wrongs, to rob her of £1800 stock, 

having obtained her signature to a power of 
16 


362 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


attorney to transfer it, under pretense that it 
was only a power to receive her dividends for 
her ! I was compelled to tell her that she had 
no remedy, and she went away in despair. The 
next day she again came to tell me he had also 
stolen a gold watch from her dressing-case. 
The evidence was conclusive; and though it 
was business of that class that I could not 
undertake myself, I gave her a letter of intro- 
duction to a very celebrated attorney, who soon 
availed himself of the gold watch to recover 
the stock. He obtained a warrant for the cap- 
tain, and then wrote to a noble lord, his cousin, 
and explaining the circumstances, informed 
him that he would be brought up for examina- 
tion the following day. His lordship replied 
that he would be too happy to see the fellow 
transported ; but the attorney was not “ to be 
done ” this way. The captain was remanded ; 
and he then wrote to the noble cousin, “ I do 
not intend to transport him, my lord : I shall 
hang him.” This very laconic rejoinder pro- 
duced the money before the re-examination, 
when of course, a link in the chain of evidence 
was wanting, and all parties were satisfied. 

I cannot do things of this sort myself, but I 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


363 


do not blame others who are less scrupulous; 
and therefore, this hint on the management of 
“awkward cases” is not superfluous. The 
offense was at that time capital ; and the cap- 
tain would undoubtedly have been hanged, if 
only because he was a captain, with a noble 
lord then high in offlce, for his cousin, 

I have already observed, that attorneys are 
very rarely consulted on any case of duelling, 
till the danger has passed away, if it ever 
existed : but our assistance is sometimes wanted 
in that stage of the squabble, which is, of all 
others, the most difficult to manage ; and hence 
I class these disputes among the “ awkward 
cases.” We are usually consulted precisely at 
the moment when the hostile intention has got 
wind, but while there is yet time to frustrate it, 
without public exposure; if we immediately 
take alarm with our client, and hurry off to a 
magistrate for a warrant, we run the hazard of 
disgracing both parties, by exciting a suspicion 
that the interruption is intended; and conse- 
quently we provoke the principals, if really 
spirited men, to cross the channel that they may 
fight it out in peace : yet, on the other hand, it 
must be acknowledged that it is a great stretch 


864 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


of professional discretion, to remain seated be- 
fore the fire, with our hands in our breeches 
pockets, like Sir Francis Head at the revolt in 
Canada, when a brother, or father, or female 
relative, is imploring our assistance to prevent 
a man being shot in presently or hanged in ftituro. 

This case is not so un frequent as may be sup- 
posed, and its frequency has led me to certain 
deductions not very creditable to the chivalry 
of the age. I certainly have more than once 
been asked to interfere in cases where I was well 
assured that no design existed of willful indis- 
cretion : one of these cases was so singular, 
though the hostile purpose in this instance was 
certainly entertained, that I cannot help notic- 
ing it ; more especially as I believe that the party 
implicated was exposed to some unmerited re- 
proach among his domestic circle. The usual 
message had been sent — the usual reference 
given to a friend ; and the seconds were engaged 
in an attempt at explanation, previously to ad- 
justing the preliminaries of war. The princi- 
pal on whose behalf an appeal was made to me, 
was a married man, but his wfife and family 
were at a watering-place, fifty miles from Lon- 
don; he therefore thought himself quite safe in 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


365 


staying at liis town residence as usual, while tie 
waited for the orders of his second ; it so hap- 
pened that he had remitted to his wife, two days 
before the message was delivered, a bank note 
for a considerable amount : he had sent this by 
a friend, and had written by the post, to tell 
her he had sent it. The post letter arrived at 
its destination, hut his friend had been obliged 
to defer his journey, and the bank note conse- 
quently never arrived : he had not stated in his 
letter anything more than that he had sent the 
note, neither mentioning the name of the party 
by wiiom he sent it, nor the conveyance by 
wilieh he was going. When a second day had 
passed without the arrival of the note, the lady 
was so alarmed lest it should have miscarried, 
that she immediately put herself into a coach, 
and came to London, naturally proceeding in 
the first instance, to her ow T n house : her hus- 
band was not at home, and, on going up to her 
room, she found his morning dress lying upon 
a chair ; on inquiry for him of her servants, 
they could give her no reply, except that he had 
been at home all the day, wdth orders to deny 
him to every body, except Colonel Jones — that 
he had changed his dress half an hour before, 


366 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


and gone to Colonel Jones’s to dinner : she im- 
mediately sent her servant there, to say that she 
had returned home, and was expecting him, as 
soon as he could get away : the servant went 
upon his errand, and delivered the message, hut 
was desired by his master to wait. Meanwhile, 
the lady finding that the man did not return, 
became uneasy, and dispatched her coachman 
after him; this messenger was also detained: 
she then was preparing to go to bed, but direct- 
ed her maid to empty the pockets of her master’s 
coat, and replace it in the wardrobe ; the girl 
obeyed her, and took out several letters, which 
she laid on the dressing-table, the uppermost 
having Colonel Jones’s name at the corner of 
the address: the lady very naturally opened it, 
thinking it was probably an invitation to dinner 
that day, and might te.nd to explain the inatten- 
tion to her repeated messages ; she found to her 
horror, that it was an appointment for the fol- 
lowing morning, so worded that she could not 
entertain a doubt of its meaning, especially when 
coupled with the fact of her husband having 
denied himself to every body except Colonel 
Jones. In fact, he had gone to the Colonel’s 
for the express purpose of making the necessary 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


367 


arrangements: she Lad the presence of mind to 
come to me at my residence, instead of follow- 
ing her husband. I was enabled by means of 
my own servant’s renseignemens below stairs, to 
trace his steps from the Colonel’s house, and, 
of course, I lost no time in following him to 
his place of concealment. By my interposition, 
everything was satisfactorily settled, and, to 
this hour, there are not, as I believe, twenty in- 
dividuals out of their respective families, that 
have even a suspicion of the matter. 

I have been the more particular in these de- 
tails, to show how easily a case may happen in 
which such affairs get wind, without the least 
reproach to any of the parties ; hut still I agree 
with the world in thinking that in most cases, 
the carelessness is willful ; and hence I infer that 
it may safely he assumed, that the principals in 
an intended duel, unless they are juvenile fools 
who will risk every thing for a little eclat , meet 
reluctantly, and would gladly not meet at all ; 
nor is this any reproach to them ; for a man 
who could face the cannon’s mouth under a 
sense of duty, may he pardoned, without any 
slur upon his courage, for entering with nervous 
apprehension upon an encounter without a tenth 


&68 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 

of the danger, where duty and conscience, in 
spite of all the sophistry of the world, must tell 
him that he is wrong : not only wrong, hut, in 
some sense, committing the only unpardonable 
sin. 

Acting upon this principle, whenever I have 
been called upon to interfere in an “ awkward 
case” of this description, whether as a solicitor, 
or a friend, my first maxim has been to “ soft- 
solder ” the party into a qualified acknowledg- 
ment of error : and this is not difficult, after 
intimating in the gentlest way, that a meeting is 
out of the question, measures being ready to 
prevent it, but that your object is to avoid giv- 
ing publicity to the disappointment. It is not 
always possible, I admit, for a second to do this, 
but it is always possible to the attorney, and 
generally so to the friend, before he becomes a 
second. A generous man, moreover, is always 
ready to acknowledge error : he only hesitates 
hist it should be thought that he is driven into 
the acknowledgement by fear. I have then pro- 
ceeded, careless about any introduction but my 
own, to the antagonist, and being careful, in the 
same way, to premise that all my object is to 
avoid publicity to a necessary interruption of 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


369 


the ceremony, I Have succeeded with him wdth 
as little difficulty as with the other; a due reser- 
vation being always, of course, made for the 
arbitrament of their respective seconds. These 
gentlemen are the most difficult to manage, hut 
a professional go-between, if gifted with any 
dexterity of address, can manage such matters 
wonderfully, provided he only takes care to in- 
timate, with all possible courtesy, that his object 
is to insure secrecy in a case which will gain 
credit for nobody in Westminster Hall. 

It may well be supposed, that no individual 
can lay claim to so much experience in such 
affairs, as to lay down these general rules ex 
cathedra . I certainly have never had above 
half-a-dozen cases of the kind occur to me, in 
five - and - twenty years of practice ; but I suspect 
that although we scarcely hear of half-a-dozen 
duels in the course of a year, there are at least 
half- a -hundred cases within the same time, in 
which matters would proceed to extremity, but 
for the interposition of judicious, or injudicious 
friends : where the judgment is wanting, recon- 
ciliation is not effected without discredit to one 
party or the other ; my object is to guide such 

interference with judgment. 

16 * 


370 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 

All cases o. ? quarreling between private 
friends, though they stop short of the extreme 
of personal conflict, are very “ awkward cases,” 
when recourse is had to professional inter- 
ference ; private quarrels become implacable 
exactly in proportion as they become public, 
and when they originate in pecuniary questions, 
as they generally do if they require our aid, it is 
not easy to avoid giving publicity to them. It 
is very difficult to manage such matters by 
rule ; we must be guided by the importance of 
the sum in controversy — by the relative posi- 
tion of the parties — by their respective tempers, 
and personal character; whatever these may 
chance to be, one danger is specially to be 
avoided — we must treat the whole affair in the 
dry style of business, and be most cautious not 
to involve ourselves in the irritation of our 
clients. A family dispute is one of the rare 
instances in which sluggishness is prudential 
on the attorney’s part: he risks very little in 
the way of credit by inactivity, for intimate 
friends or near relations are extremely well - dis- 
posed to reconciliation after a reasonable time 
to cool; and then they are well pleased that 
matters have not been hurried on to that point 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


371 


which entangles reconciliation with trouble- 
some questions of costs. It has been my 
principle never to issue a writ, or file a bill, 
between members of the same family, till I have 
been positively dunned into proceeding; nor 
even then, till every proposal of reference to 
counsel, or to friends, has been deliberately and 
advisedly rejected. I may have lost an equity 
suit or two by this extreme precaution, but I 
believe I have never lost a client, and often 
saved a friend. 

Conjugal differences form a large proportion 
of the class of 4 4 awkward cases ” referred to 
the family solicitor ; and in cases of this des- 
cription, the principle that I have just laid 
down must be reversed; they rarely, if ever, 
admit of permanent reconciliation: indeed I 
should say never, unless by a happy chance, 
both husband and wife are people of good sense, 
and the interests of children are at stake ; it is 
seldom however, when this is the case, that 
conjugal differences arrive at that point that 
requires' foreign interposition. It is true in 
most instances, but in conjugal disputes the 
rule has no exception, that both sides are in 
fault; the same may be predicated of the yet 


372 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 

more frequent quarrels between father and son, 
where the former is tenant for life, and the 
latter tenant in tail ; a secret distrust of the 
party whose duty it is in these domestic rela- 
tions, to he submissive, is generally an error on 
the safe side, if an error at all; and conse- 
quently in listening to reciprocal complaint, we 
may fairly incline to the husband or father, if 
the dispute is so complicated as to admit of 
doubt ; it is no trifling point to gain on such 
occasions, to know where the fault principally 
lies; it may lead ns to the only conciliatory 
path, and I need hardly observe that I do not 
write for that unprincipled man, who would 
for his own profit foment a dispute, where con- 
ciliation might by possibility prevent it. But 
if domestic harmony appears hopeless, then the 
attorney must act with decision, regardless 
whom he may offend; and as it frequently 
happens that he is consulted by both parties, 
his duty is to act on the first retainer, and 
cautiously to regulate all his previous conduct 
hy the reflection that he may, when all con- 
ciliation has failed, be called upon to act pro- 
fessionally for the party that has first consulted 
him. Under this restraint, he will accept no 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. ' 373 

confidence from the other, that may place him 
in the painful dilemma of maintaining good 
faith to both. 

The case of all others that demands the 
greatest caution and address on the attorney’s 
part is that of imputed infidelity to the conjugal 
vow ; on whichever side the charge arises, it is 
t< he received with suspicion, for it is usually 
made before it is well-founded, and when once 
made it has a direct tendency to substantiate 
itself. Some of the anecdotes already given 
will abundantly prove that a conspiracy may 
exist between husband and wife to victimize a 
man worth “ plucking,” and the possibility 
that this object may have led to those equivocal 
positions of which the husband never complains 
till he finds the conspiracy defeated, is alone a 
sufficient reason to doubt his story, if his 
general reputation is questionable. Many cir- 
cumstances may assist our judgment on this 
point : habitual neglect of the wife, systematic 
desertion of domestic duties, and the parade of 
what is called fashionable indifference, at the 
same time that a good understanding and a 
general outward decorum have been displayed, 
tend materially to confirm the impression that 


374 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


the alleged injury may have been preconcerted, 
if not for the purpose of victimizing, at all 
events to afford the means of legal separation. 
In either of these cases, an attorney of honor- 
able feeling will be very backward in allowing 
himself to be made the instrument of facilitat- 
ing his client’s views ; it certainly is not his 
business to put himself forward as arbiter morum 
to society, hut he owes it to himself not to be 
made subservient to purposes which society 
condemns. In many cases, however, where there 
is no sufficient reason to hang hack from regard 
to his own character, there is often much hazard 
of leading his client forward in a course that 
will end in irreparable mischief : where such an 
action fails, or is attended with only partial 
success, the peace of several families is broken 
for ever ; and, what is still more to he lamented, 
the prospects and hopes of children are for ever 
blighted. It is the duty of an attorney, when 
consulted in a case of this kind, to make him- 
Belf perfect master of its demerits, not less than 
its merits. 

The first thing to he considered in reference 
to this point is the temper in which the com- 
plaint is made; and here I may observe that 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


375 


jealousy is rarely’ prominent where certainty 
exists ; nor is even violent excitement often ex- 
hibited where a settled conviction of conjugal 
guilt is entertained ; if I see a man actuated by 
very strong and hitter feelings, I infer, that 
whatever ground he has for suspicion, it is after 
all, only suspicion ; and hence that my primary 
duty is to allay it, unless he discloses facts that 
ought to be conclusive to an unbiased mind, or 
that are too unequivocal not to call for inquiry ; 
even when this is the case, that inquiry must he 
conducted in the most cool and dispassionate 
temper. Artful servants, mischief- making 
friends, and gossiping relations, are wont to put 
the worst construction on conduct that may 
amount to no more than thoughtless levity, 
blameable but not decisive. The manner of 
some men is naturally empressee towards females, 
without any criminal motive ; others from mere 
foppery affect an air of gallantry, or a tone of 
sentiment, which rightly interpreted, means no 
more than that they are thinking of themselves 
in preference to any body else, whether male or 
female ; and often have I seen this coquetry re- 
turned, by married women too, so sympathetical- 
ly , that plain matter-of-fact people would set 


376 ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 

it down to improper intimacy, while others of 
more acuteness or more knowledge of the world 
would only laugh at the deception each party 
was practicing on the other, and probably on 
himself. Yet incidents and scenes like these are 
ill-naturedly treasured up by some of the good 
folks I have mentioned, and, when a sufficient 
hoard of them is amassed, liberally bestowed 
on the “injured husband,” as a charitable do- 
nation by some pious friend, and like all charit- 
able donations, most gratefully accepted : the 
unfortunate husband is of course made vigilant, 
officious servants are set upon to watch, and to 
vindicate their claim to confidence tell twenty 
lies for one word of truth ; the husband kicks 
his wife out of doors — loads his pistols — sends 
for his friends — his friends for the doctor and a 
strait waistcoat — and after proper commotion, 
and a decent interval, all hurry away to the 
attorney, who without more ado, retains Ser- 
jeant Wilde, issues the writ, and from that 
moment all go their own way to the devil ! In- 
stances sometimes occur where even less doubt- 
ful indications of guilt prove in the event to be 
utterly fallacious. A gentleman once consulted 
me in a case in which with all my distrust in 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


377 


such matters I could not help arriving at his 
conclusion; hut happily we discovered our error 
in time to avoid mischief. He had been inform- 
ed by one of those pests of society, the “ lady’s 
maid,” that his wife received unusual attention 
from a young clergyman, who was a frequent 
and welcome visitor at the house, and moreover 
that a clandestine correspondence had long been 
carried on between them : a “ good-night kiss ” 
too had twice been noticed, and duly comment- 
ed on below stairs, and sundry other little liber- 
ties of no individual importance, hut of large 
aggregate amount, proclaimed a very good un- 
derstanding between the parties. After much 
uncomfortable espionage that led to nothing 
more decisive, the husband intercepted one of the 
aforesaid letters, and was at once convinced of 
his dishonor. lie brought it to me without 
an hour’s delay; and on the perusal of it, and 
hearing of the previous occurrences, I quite con- 
curred in his impression ; with his approbation 
I immediatly went to the lady, to intimate the 
necessity of her taking refuge with her friends. 
I found the fair one in gay spirits, seated on the 
sofa with the young gentleman by her side, and 
her sister next to him. I was embarrassed by 


878 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


the frank and cheerful reception I met with 
from all the trio. 

“ You are just come in time, Mr. Sharpe, we 
want your help.” I looked as grave as possible, 
while I inquired tne occasion. 

“ We have lost a love-letter, Mr. Sharpe, and 
Alfred, here, is half mad about it.” 

“ I have it in my pocket, Ma’am,” I replied, 
with awful gravity. 

“ Let me have it, my good Sir ; do give it 
me directly ; ” cried the sister, suddenly jump- 
ing up from the sofa, and all but offering to 
search my pocket. 

“ Stay, Caroline ; have patience : Mr. Sharpe, 
how did you obtain that letter ? ” 

“From your husband, Madam,” still main- 
taining the most inflexible severity of features, 
but I could not preserve it long ; they looked 
at each other at first with some blushing con- 
fusion that confirmed my impressions ; but it 
was but momentary, for the next instant they 
all burst into uncontrollable laughter, and in 
spite of myself, and the serious matter that 
brought me among them, I laughed too, though 
without knowing why. As soon as she re- 
covered herself, the lady quietly asked me 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


379 


whether I had read the letter, and on telling 
her that I had, she inquired with playful anger, 
how I dared to pry into other people’s corres- 
pondence. 

“Your husband desired me.” 

“ And how dare he presume to open it ? ” 

“ Because it was addressed to you.” 

“ So you neither of you noticed the C below 
the seal! that letter is my sister’s, Sir; and 
now allow me to introduce you to Mr. and 
Mrs. Lawrence ; they were married a week ago, 
and have been engaged these six months ! ! ! ” 

I looked like a fool, no doubt ; it was clear 
enough that the acuteness of woman’s wit 
immediately penetrated my errand, and a man 
never looks so silly as when abashed by woman’s 
superiority ; the mystery was soon explained; 
the clergyman expected a living from his uncle, 
who fondly hoped that the youth would marry 
his daughter for the sake of the preferment; 
but the pretty cousin had as little relish for this 
simoniacal contract as the reverend swain him- 
self, for she too had a little affair of her own 
on hand. The marriage with Miss Caroline 
was kept secret, lest it should interfere with the 
expected preferment, and the husband being 


380 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


next door to an ass, was not to be trusted with 
it. The elopement of the pretty cousin a few 
days after, allowed the whole affair to be pub- 
lished. I only obtained my pardon from the 
lady on condition that I would remain to dinner, 
and send to desire her husband’s immediate re- 
turn : she was bent on having her revenge, and 
when he entered she maliciously begged to intro- 
duce him to “her dear Alfred,” giving him at 
the same time a tender kiss, that she resolutely 
refused to the astonished conjugal culprit. Our 
laugh at the sally soon relieved his mind, but 
not till he had vented one or two imprecations 
that would have dislocated the jaw-bone of any 
but a true member of the asinine fraternity. 

I have known matters go farther than this, 
and yet stop infinitely short of actual guilt ; 
but I forbear stating the circumstances, because 
I should be loth to run the bare possibility of 
reviving painful retrospect in the minds of any 
reader. Some among the seniors of the profes- 
sion may be at no loss to recall to mind an 
elopement where a locus penitent ice was found 
even in the first stage to Dover ! An attorney 
cannot be too cautious in receiving the first state- 
ment of a husband’s dishonor, or too doubtful 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


381 


of the evidence by which it is proposed to 
establish the fact : where, however, the proofs 
are irresistible, even there he is not at liberty at 
once to bring the action. I have already noticed 
that in all such affairs, there is assuredly fault 
on both sides. This will always appear on the 
trial of the issue, if the action is not collusive ; 
and then both parties leave the court irretriev- 
ably damaged, and the children, as a matter of 
course, are excluded from the pale of society. 
There is a certain pseudo -fashionable class, 
where this extreme penalty may not be exacted, 
because the precedent would be inconvenient; 
but in every class that lays claim to respecta- 
bility, whether of patrician or plebeian rank, the 
daughter of a divorcee is not favorably intro- 
duced, I might almost say, is barely tolerated — 
the taint, to a certain extent, is hereditary. I enter 
not into the moral question whether it consists 
with Christian charity or social policy, thus 
finally to close the door against the unfortunate 
woman v ho has even once strayed from the 
right path; and yet more to visit a parent’s fault 
on innocent offspring — that is no affair of mine: 
but I take the rule as I find it; and it seems to 
me to impose a very serious and difficult duty 


382 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


on the attorney, he being usually the first man 
consulted whose opinion is decisive on the 
course to follow. Before he sanctions by his 
advice, proceedings of which the consequences 
are so terrible and so extensive, it becomes him 
to satisfy himself that the exsposure may not 
be shared by both husband and wife, and thus 
orphanize their issue. It is the more important 
because I have too often seen that in the im- 
patience of redress on the one side, and the eager- 
ness of self- vindication on the other, all parental 
anxiety is absorbed in selfish feelings, and the 
claims of the infant are forgotten by those who 
are especially hound to protect them. 

When I was a very young man, I was invited 
by a friend to dine with him at an hotel at 
Richmond. He was a married man, and had 
two children ; but he was a gay man, though 
maintaining a decent reputation in the world. 
I met him on the day appointed ; it was on a 
Sunday in the middle of summer. We formed 
a small party of four, all of us Cambridge men. 
We had finished our dinner, and were drinking 
wine at a window overlooking the river. Those 
who are acquainted with the spot will remember 
that there is a promenade along the top of the 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


383 


hill between the Star and Garter and the town • 
our window commanded a full view of this 
walk. I observed my friend exhibit some 
symptoms of painful surprise, while watching 
the pedestrians ; and while I was endeavoring 
to guess the object that occasioned it, he sud- 
denly grasped me by the arm, led me away into 
an adjoining room, and exclaimed with appa- 
rent agitation, “ Sharpe, that lady in the pink 
bonnet is my wife ! who the devil can that be 
with her ? what can have brought her here ?” 
He took me to a more private place to point 
her out to me, and I then prevailed on him to 
resume his seat, while I inquired about their 
proceedings. To my amazement I discovered 
that the lady had arrived unattended, except by 
this gentleman, at the very hotel at which we 
were dining, they came in a post-chaise from 
town, and had ordered dinner in a private 
room. My only anxiety was to avoid a scene, 
and to accomplish this, I determined to keep 
back my discovery, and hurry off my friend as 
speedily as possible in the opposite direction. I 
made an excuse for calling him out of the room, 
and carried him to the Star and Garter, under 
the pretense that I had traced the wife thither. 


384 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


I then came back, broke up the party, and 
giving bis cue to the waiter to keep bis eye on 
the guilty pair, I returned with my friend in a 
chaise to London. "We settled on our road that 
in the event of the waiter’s information proving 
conclusive, the action should be forthwith 
brought. On his arrival at his own house, he 
asked no questions, but contented himself with 
ransacking her desk and dressing - case for 
letters, left word that he was going out of town 
that night, and came to sleep at my lodgings. 
We found two or three notes suspicious enough, 
and the waiter’s evidence completed the detec- 
tion. I issued the writ, and the usual steps 
were taken; but all this time I thought my 
friend was wonderfully cool and easy about the 
matter ; so much so, that though I was perfectly 
aware that there was no affection in the case, I 
could not avoid some suspicions that there was 
a little underhand dealing indicated by such 
extreme philosophy. The rencontre at Rich- 
mond was so singular, the meeting at the same 
inn, my being there in the very nick of time, 
the easy capture of the letters, and the prompt 
compliance with all my suggestions, — all com- 
bined to excite distrust; but all my ingenuity 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


385 


was exerted in vain to unravel the mystery. 
At last I determined to take him by surprise; 
and one day after dinner, for he still remained 
at my lodgings, I put the question to him 
broadly, 

“ Owen*, what wer eyou doing at Richmond ? ” 

“ Entertaining you.” 

“ Yes, yes : but when did you arrive there ? ” 
You remember that you would not ride down 
with me, nor yet with Twisden.” 

“ I went first to order dinner.” 

“ What, overnight ? ” 

“ Who told you that I spent the night there? ” 

“ The chambermaid.” (I only spoke on 
speculation, however.) 

“ The little jade! so she betrayed me! and 
most likely told my wife too ! ” 

This admission, so thoughtlessly made, was 
enough for me. It was clear that the chamber- 
maid knew it was his wife, and she must have 
either known it from himself, in anticipation of 
her coming, (for I was certain she had not seen 
him after the discovery,) or she had learnt it from 
his wife, who must have been aware that he was 
at the inn, though owing to my precautions 

they had not met there! in either case, this 

17 


386 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


rencontre was not unpremeditated, and the 
night’s absence was still unexplained. I went 
the next morning to the opposite solicitor : he 
was a very respectable man, in the true sense of 
the word. I frankly told him my suspicions, 
after a little conversation had assured me that 
I might confide in him, and I found that they 
were shared by himself. On comparing notes, 
we placed the matter out of doubt ; and on my 
side, I further discovered that Owen had an 
illegitimate family near liichmond, a fact with 
which his wife was familiar. Under such 
circumstances, no good could arise from prose- 
cuting the action, but much evil to their chil- 
dren. We consulted friends on both sides, 
hushed up the matter by a deed of separation, 
and there it ended. 

It would be profitless to multiply similar 
cases, though many have come to my know- 
ledge, free from collusion perhaps, but where 
both parties had, for mutual convenience, long 
connived at each other’s profligacy. I have ex- 
perienced others where the husband alone has 
been criminal in the legal acceptation; but 
where the jealous fury and vindictive temper of 
the wife, exhibited prematurely and causelessly, 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


387 


had led to the realization of guilt erroneously 
suspected. I knew an instance where I myself 
advised a separation, to save the wretched 
husband from the repetition of an assault while 
he was sleeping, such as an incarnate demon 
alone could have attempted or imagined. A 
suit for the restitution of conjugal rights was 
threatened. I called on the lady’s proctor, and 
put him in full possession of the facts. Familiar 
as that branch of our profession is with human 
weakness in forms that become atrocious, he 
would not credit such an astounding disclosure ; 
but the petticoat -fiend herself acknowledged it, 
and the suit was of course abandoned. I have 
said more than enough to bear out my position, 
that in all cases that occur between man and 
wife, by far the most “awkward” that ever 
come under our care, the first duty is to inform 
ourselves of their demerits. 


388 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


CHAPTER XXIV. 


“You may as well spread out the unsunned heaps 
Of miser’s treasure by an outlaw’s den, 

And tell me it is safe, as bid me hope 
Danger will wink on opportunity, 

And let a single helpless maiden pass 

Uninjured in this wild surrounding waste.” — Comds. 

There is another class of cases very nearly 
allied to those of conjugal disputes — the “ breach 
of promise” actions; the awkwardness of these 
however, is very materially relieved to profes- 
sional men, by the coarseness of mind in which 
they have their source : it is so obvious that no 
female, of even common delicacy, will ever allow 
her fair name to he placarded as the plaintiff in 
such an action, that our consciences need not 
he very tender about the propriety of acting for 
her without regard to consequences: it is not 
necessary to he more squeamish than herself. 
There are however, two cases in which the 
question of propriety may fairly he discussed — 
either where character has been gravely attacked, 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


389 


as the apology for inconstancy, or where seduc- 
tion has been effected by aid of a promise of 
marriage ; in the one case, a too confiding girl 
may be reduced to beggary, as well as disgrace 
for life ; in the other, not only her feelings, but 
those of honoured parents, may be outraged. 
Here it would be false delicacy to submit in 
silence, yet still much consideration is due, be- 
fore actually commencing hostilities. To justi- 
fy them where character has been attacked, we 
must be satisfied that the scandal has been made 
in terms that admit of little doubt of the nature 
of the imputation — that it has been uttered in 
a quarter where it will obtain credit — that it has 
been circulated advisedly, not in momentary 
anger — that the reputation of the calumniator 
stands sufficiently high for the calumny to pass 
current, if uncontradicted ; and above all, that 
the reproach is utterly unfounded. 

The parents of a young lady, in the indulgent 
liberality with which that title is now conceded 
to every woman above the rank of a washer- 
woman, came to me with tears in their eyes, to 
give me instructions for an action, where the 
promise had, by their account, been deliberately 
made, and heartlessly broken. My best sym- 


890 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


pathies were awakened, when I saw how sin- 
cerely they were affected, but it did not seem to 
me that the lass herself was equally eager for 
the vindication of her fame ; in fact, while they 
were in tears, she was giggling : in their presence, 
all was clear and convincing; hut I had the 
opportunity on the following day, of seeing 
her alone. 

“ Well, Miss Lipton, this is a very vexatious 
matter ; tell me all about this former lover of 
your’s.” 

“Who do you mean, Mr. Sharpe?” 

“You understand me very well; the man that 
Jackson says you went a little too far with.” 

“I declare Mr. Sharpe, I don’t know what 
you mean; nobody went too far with me , in- 
deed !” bridling up, but with a simper on her 
face that she could not suppress, and looking 
down as if to hide it. 

“Very well, Miss Lipton, it does not much 
matter, but before I proceed against J ackson, I 
should like to know the worst he can say of 
you.” 

“I’m sure, Sir, he can say no harm of me, 
and I don’t care what he says ; the nasty man 
may say what he pleases, he can’t do me no 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


391 


hurt, nor Harry neither ! and I must say I think 
it very uncivil of you, Sir.” 

“Well; but how far did ‘Harry’ go?” 

“ Mr. Sharpe, I’ll answer no more of your 
impertinent questions, it’s no business of yours, 
Sir, how far he went ! and if Harry were here, 
he wouldn’t suffer it, that he wouldn’t!” affect- 
ing to cry, hut there were no decided lachry- 
mose symptoms, beyond taking out the hand- 
kerchief, so I felt no alarm. 

“ Then if you won’t tell me, Miss Lipton, 1 
must conclude that Jackson has some ground 
for complaint.” 

“You may conclude what you please, Mr. 
Sharpe, and J ackson may complain of what he 
pleases, Sir ! but Harry shall do as he pleases, 
for if you must know, we are to be married to- 
morrow morning, before pa and ma come home ! 
so I wish you good bye, Sir.” 

And there our colloquy ended, and the action 
with it. 

In the case of seduction under promise of 
marriage, the chief, perhaps the only considera* 
tion, usually is, whether the defendant has the 
means to pay damages; it ought not to be the 
only consideration; for it is no trifle to expose 


392 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


the unfortunate plaintiff to the indurating pro- 
cess of a public exposure in a court of law, 
where counsel justify a brutal investigation of 
all her past sins and follies, on the ground that 
duty to their client warrants the exposure; an 
excuse that is often strained beyond the limits 
of decency and humanity : nevertheless, it does 
occur that prudence or rather necessity, some- 
times compels us to advise a client to go through 
this perilous ordeal: it is a terrible necessity 
that drives woman publicly to record her frailty 
and the illegitimacy of her helpless offspring, 
in all the journals of the day. The attorney 
who takes on himself the responsibility of 
sanctioning a step so desperate, ought at least 
before he passes the Rubicon, to satisfy himself 
well, that the plunge is not made for nothing. 

And here I must be excused for saying a word 
upon the cruel thoughtlessness of juries; a 
thoughtlessness as immoral in its tendency, as 
it is cruel in its operation. A young woman, 
hitherto of respectable character, and decent ex- 
pectations, perhaps even of the higher class, 
appears before them in the painful and degraded 
position of a supplicant for redress, against a 
man who has seduced her by deceitful promises, 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


393 


and then left her, to maintain herself and an 
innocent child, without even a hope of ever 
obtaining independence by honorable marriage, 
— she has alienated her friends, because she has 
brought disgrace upon them — she has deprived 
herself of all opportunity of turning what 
talents she may possess to profitable account, 
because she has lost her reputation — her ex- 
penses are multiplied, and daily increasing, in 
consequence of the incumbrance which her fall 
has brought upon her — by the very act of 
soliciting redress, she stamps the indelible im- 
pression of blighted fame upon herself and her 
infant, though she has no other resource to 
preserve that infant from starvation — and if 
she passes the investigation, as she often does, 
otherwise untainted, she affords fair presump- 
tive proof of the truth of a position which I 
have often heard laid down, and believe is true, 
severely as I have elsewhere spoken of the 
sex, that woman’s first offense never springs 
from a polluted mind, but from the eagerness 
of a devoted heart to give every proof of con- 
fiding affection. Such is the case of almost 
every plaintiff in an action for breach of promise 

attended by seduction, and such are the circum- 
17 * 


394 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


stances under which she appeals to husbands, 
fathers, and brothers, for compensation; jet 
what is the ordinary result? the tale of mis- 
fortune is heard — not with cordial sympathy, 
but with a gloating zest for its indecent inci- 
dents, and an eager expectation, ill suppressed, 
of the fun and equivoque that counsel, with 
coarseness worthy of his cause, may ingeniously 
provoke on cross-examination: thus prepared 
for the necessarily cold and heartless judicial 
charge, they turn round in their box for a 
scanty quarter of an hour, and after mutual 
chuckling over the ribaldry of the bar, and 
pleading to their consciences the hackneyed 
recommendation of the judge to give temperate 
and moderate damages, agree upon a verdict of 
two or three hundred pounds, and go home and 
dine, in comfortable complacency with each 
other and themselves, for the liberal justice they 
have rendered to an injured female ! ! ! Now I 
will put what may he considered an extreme 
case, and assume that the damages are awarded 
at five hundred pounds. Let us calculate the 
real value of such a verdict. In the first place, 
so long as the foolish principle obtains, wdiich, 
even modified as it has been of late years, still 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


395 


holds to a considerable extent, that a successful 
party is to recover no higher costs than are 
adequate in strict necessity to conduct the cause 
to issue and judgment, damages to the amount 
of £500 will be reduced to £450 by extra 
costs ; and if the attorney has shown the zeal 
and activity which he ought to do, especially 
in a cause of this nature, his extra costs ought 
to be much more than fifty pounds, in most 
cases. Another deduction is to be made for the 
charge of the plaintiff’s confinement and its 
concomitant expenses : these may be moderately 
stated at twenty pounds, and if she happens to 
be in any station of society above the very 
lowest, her temporary seclusion for some months, 
is inevitable to spare her the torture of publicity, 
when her frailty first becomes known : it would 
be difficult to reckon this at less than thirty 
pounds more. Thus four hundred pounds i3 
the balance left to provide for the unhappy 
woman and her child ; and it must be remem- 
bered that this provision is for life ! from her 
situation, it follows that she cannot employ the 
money in business, even if she understands a 
trade : this compensation is the very limit of 
all her earthly prospects; when character is 


396 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


gone, and friends are alienated, slie can of 
course expect no more: it may produce her, if 
judiciously invested, an annuity of twelve or 
fourteen shillings per week, and when this fails 
to support her, she has but one alternative 
— the town! to this she is eventually driven, 
not more by the cruel faithlessness of her lover, 
than by the cool indifference of her jury. 
Should these pages ever reach the eyes of any 
that have been calkd upon to measure damages 
in these cases of compound breach of faith, I 
trust they will be more liberally inclined here- 
after, towards the wretched plaintiff*; and while 
they temper their verdict with moderation, as 
the judges tell them, will also remember that 
“ moderation ” is a comparative term ; a man 
treads on my spaniel’s toes, and I ask him with 
calmness and temper, to be more careful another 
time ; hut if he insults my daughter, I think it 
a moderate course to kick him down stairs 
though at the risk of breaking his neck. 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE 


397 




CHAPTER XX Y. 


** Nor can protection be accomplished as regards private slander, 
unless the defense of the injured character is made so easy, safe, and 
effectual, that the legal proceeding shall not be either loaded with 
ruinous expense, nor shall imply a consciousness of guilt, nor shall 
aggravate, rather than remove the mischief done. In all these par- 
ticulars however, the law of this country is singularly defective." 

Brougham’s Speeches. Vol. I. 

In relation to another topic I have given an 
instance of a class of “ awkward cases,” so 
common in these days, that almost every attor- 
ney is familiar with them : I mean those which 
arise in newspaper libels. I really think that 
the Times, and John Bull, together with certain 
other periodicals of less illustrious names, 
deserve the honor of plate by subscription 
from our learned body, for the enormous costs 
to which they have assisted us. I am not cer- 
tain whether it he good policy in an author to 
fall foul of the daily press ; it is difficult to say; 
for if sometimes they affect a magnanimous 
indifference akin to that of the lion when the 


398 


ADVENTURES OE AN ATTORNEY 


dog worried him, and gave a sort of lofty good- 
humored growl that may draw attention to 
the ignoble assailant, without injuring him by 
a lash of the tail, at other times, and far more 
frequently, they go on sleeping in proud and 
pretended unconsciousness of such unworthy 
enemies ; their silence is far more provoking, 
because more mischievous to one’s celebrity. 
I have been extremely amused sometimes by 
the ingenuity with which the more witty and 
learned of these mighty scribes contrive at once 
to give vent to their displeasure, and yet morti- 
fy their foes by contemptuous suppression of 
their assaults. I recollect once being at a dinner- 
party of young men, none of them contempti- 
ble in point of ability, and some of them far 
otherwise. By way of evening amusement, we 
selected each our daily paper, and affecting the 
tone of familiar acquaintance, addressed letters 
to the editors in such terms as we considered 
most likely to irritate, that we might have 
the pleasure of judging by their “ answers to 
correspondents ” how far we succeeded in pene- 
trating their anonymous hides. At our next 
meeting we brought their various replies ; they 
were entertaining, inasmuch as if their wit was 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


399 


somewhat scanty, they at least furnished each 
of us with a soubriquet for the evening, that 
afforded no little pleasantry among ourselves. 
All dealt very much in alliteration, and most 
affected the laconic. I cannot recollect the 
whole of them, but they were very similar, and 
the Times was especially nettled, though I 
cannot now recall the cause of offense. “ Old 
Nick is a ninny ! we know him better than he 
thinks we do ; we wish he would send his bald- 
erdash to papers that have more room for it.” 
“ Bounce is a booby,” was the retort of another; 
if I remember right, it was the Chronicle. “A 
fool who writes a clerk -like hand may be 
assured that we were not hoaxed sufficiently to 
reach the second page of his letter;” was John 
Bull’s somewhat Irish disclaimer of being 
duped. A fourth answered in obvious wrath, 
“Fairplay looks as foolish as when he was 
dragged out of the horsepond ! he forgets that 
we were by ; we could tell him all about it if 
necessary!” It gave us some gratification to 
see, that even in their mysterious hiding-places 
these self-important worthies did not feel quite 
comfortable when attacked with daggers, as 
pointed if not as poisonous as their own ; for 


400 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


there was not one letter that remained unnoticed, 
nor one answer that did not show the eager 
wish to throw back the mortification that had 
been inflicted. 

I must not again however lose sight of my 
subject. If the law of libel is open to com- 
plaint, I know of no respect in which it is so 
more justly, than that every remedy which it 
gives to an injured party is of such a nature, 
that the adoption of it exposes him to redoubled 
reproach : hence every timorous or weak- 
minded man is reduced to helpless and humiliat- 
ing prostration before the daily press, should 
he unfortunately provoke its enmity, or enjoy 
rank or office of sufficient importance to draw 
hostile observation upon him : whether he 
files a criminal information, or indicts or brings 
an action for damages, it is all one ; take which 
course he will, he is accused of a sinister motive 
for not selecting another in preference, and 
consciousness of guilt is good-naturedly de- 
duced from either ; nor is this new imputation 
confined to the paper that he has attacked ; in 
cases of libel, all the journals make common 
cause with their contemporary, whatever may 
chance to be their political, or even their 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


401 


personal hostility-: they seem to think them- 
selves entitled as of obvious and undoubted 
right, to put any man they please on self-de- 
fense on oath, and when defeated in this object 
by the resolute refusal of their victim to submit 
to such tyranny, they complain of the hardship 
imposed on themselves in the discharge of their 
public duty ! as if all the world did not know 
that they undertake such a duty voluntarily, 
for the best of all possible reasons, that it re- 
ceives higher pay than any other speculation in 
the held of literature. To read some of the 
angry articles that appear on these occasions, 
one would really be tempted to imagine that 
the proprietors of newspapers were the most ill- 
used class in the community, who, having out 
of pure public spirit, undertaken a gratuitous 
service to their fellow -subjects, were persecuted 
for their disinterested patriotism ! ! ! Many of 
them indeed, carry their assurance so far, that 
they go out of their way to insinuate some 
injurious charge, and then demand payment for 
the contradiction of it as an advertisement ! I 
remember recently seeing a glaring instance of 
this, in the Times, in a letter of the joint- solici- 
tors of the Westminster Improvement Company, 


402 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


Could the manager of that journal have over* 
heard some of the very general comments made 
on this occasion, out of the profession as well 
as in it, I doubt if he would have felt much 
flattered ! It is fair to observe, that, if far from 
immaculate, the Herald is more exempt from 
these libelous sins than any other journal of 
the day, and the Times, with all it3 swaggering 
importance, seems far more disposed than others 
to allow fair play in the way of self- exculpation 
to libeled parties ; but the best of them are an 
ungrateful set to the very public that supports 
them. 

Common as these libel -cases are, they are 
very embarrassing to professional men : it 
certainly is far from pleasant to the attorney 
himself, to become the object of a splenetic and 
vindictive attack, which is very likely to follow 
if he is successful against the newspaper which 
he is called upon to prosecute ; but I will do 
my brethren the justice to say, that I believe 
there are very few among them so destitute of 
moral courage, as to be intimidated in the dis- 
charge of their duty by any apprehension of 
such personal consequences. The real difficulty 
in cases of this kind, springs from the reluc< 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


403 


tance which all men have to face the public, 
where custom, profession, or political pretension 
has not rendered them indifferent to the en- 
counter. It is a natural bashfulness, akin to 
that which cows a man on his early appearance 
as a public speaker. It is difficult to overcome 
this timidity, even where one is conscious that 
it is misplaced and unreasonable : and yet it is 
not less an act of kindness, than of legal duty, 
to resist the indulgence of it, for it makes the 
party libelled exquisitely sensitive to the attack. 
I have been consulted in many cases, in which 
my client has, from morbid sensibility, been 
excited almost to madness, by some scurrilous 
insinuation in the public papers, and at the 
same time has been ludicrously stuck on the 
horns of the usual dilemma, whether he should 
not make bad worse, by challenging scrutiny 
into the justice of the charge : this apprehension 
always predominates in proportion to the 
privacy of the client’s routine of life. A coun- 
try gentleman, who, in some unlucky hour has 
so far lost discretion, as to take an active part 
in a county election, in preference to killing 
partridges, or more frequently a quiet clergy- 
man, betrayed by ecclesiastical zeal into contro- 


404 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


versy on some question involving the temporal 
interests of the church, finds himself unex- 
pectedly “ shown up,” in a provincial journal ; 
private malice (and who is without a private 
enemy ?) assists the editor to dress up a para- 
graph in colors in which truth and falsehood 
are intimately mixed. In the simplicity of his 
mind, the victim sends an explanation, candidly 
admitting the truth, and vainly endeavoring to 
separate it from its base alloy : the admission 
is published with new and aggravated com- 
ments — the exculpation is suppressed, because 
“ the pressure of other matter precludes us from 
giving more than an extract from the reverend 
gentleman’s letter, which we must regret, as we 
should have liked to amuse our readers” — > 
thus ridicule is added to abuse; the libel, if 
pointed, or from circumstance politically im- 
portant, is quoted by the London press, as 
illustrative of a public grievance; the poor 
pastor solicits a contradiction, and is kindly 
assured that “ his explanation is an advertise- 
ment,” and of course inadmissible, unless paid 
for at five shillings a line, being the tithe of a 
year’s income. Meanwhile he is condemned to 
the hypocritical condolences of all his clerical 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


405 


neighbors — a letter of fraternal inquiry by bis 
diocesan — and a curtain lecture nightly by bis 
wife. The spirit of resistance is at length 
aroused, be collects the testimonials of all bis 
parish — provides for to - morrow’s funeral and 
next Sunday’s duty — buddies a clean shirt and 
a sermon into bis carpet-bag, ties bis silk 
handkerchief round bis neck, and bustles away 
to town on the top of the coach, full of pious 
indignation, not the less potent because long 
suppressed, to consult bis attorney, and restore 
peace to bis fire -side, and confidence to bis 
flock. Woe betide him if bis attorney wants 
sense or principle ! in either case bis living is 
sequestrated — bis family are thrown on the 
parish, and be is a degraded man for life ! Our 
duty is to laugh away the irritation, give him 
a night’s lodging and a good bottle of port, and 
send him safely back by the next coach to bis 
friends. 

But there are cases, and far too many of 
them, that admit of no conciliatory arrange- 
ment by the consoling process of the dinner 
table. Where personal honor, or professional 
or official integrity is attacked, redress must be 
sought by legal proceedings \ and this more 


406 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


especially when a false color is ingeniously 
given to facts of themselves innocent, and when 
strangers may he justified in withdrawing con- 
fidence, if vindication is withheld. It is in 
such cases that the responsibility of advising is 
most painfully felt : if it is true that policy re- 
quires every man who may accidentally he in- 
volved in the affairs of public life, to be at all 
times ready to meet a rigid investigation into 
every act of his existence, whenever he is chal- 
lenged by the daily press, (and their doctrines 
on the liberty of the press amount to this,) it is 
not less true that a fearful responsibility is 
thrown upon the solicitor who has to advise a 
client how to conduct himself under circum- 
stances so perilous to the most virtuous. If an 
action for damages is recommended, the plain- 
tiff cannot be examined, and he is taunted with 
consciousness of guilt, because he has not pre- 
ferred moving for a criminal information, 
where he must have purged himself by affidavit. 
If he moves for an information, he is exposed 
to a similar taunt for not subjecting the value 
of his character to the estimate of a jury! If 
he takes neither course and indicts, as truth is 
no part of the issue, he cannot be examined in 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


407 


open court, unless by the special connivance of 
the judge, a connivance rightly felt to he extra 
judicial, and therefore rarely exhibited : then 
he is challenged with availing himself of a 
remedy that covers him from the fire of cross- 
examination ; and this is the unfortunate dilem- 
ma to which any anonymous libeler can reduce 
him at pleasure ! It is very true that among 
professional men, such taunts and insinuations 
are valued as they deserve, at nothing; but the 
world in general is not capable of such dis- 
crimination, and never will be. It is through 
this legal Scylla and Charybdis, that we are 
required to steer our clients safely, and it is the 
attorney who in this hazardous navigation 
must always take the helm : we can receive but 
little assistance from * counsel ; the private feel- 
ings, the past history, the personal character 
of the party, are rarely known to them ; they 
are always strangers to our clients except in 
reference to the particular transaction, and 
clients are rarely willing to repose such ex- 
tensive domestic confidence in them. But it is 
by these circumstances only, that a correct 
judgment can be formed. A man of strong 
nerve, and consistent moral conduct, may 


408 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


prudently be advised to set publicity at defiance 
while the same course might prove fatal to the 
domestic peace, and perhaps to the health of a 
timid man, or one open to censure for early 
delinquencies : even where the plaintiff himself 
need not be deterred by any personal considera- 
tions from submitting to the severest scrutiny, 
he may be intimately connected by family ties, 
with those whom such scrutiny may collaterally 
expose, and this is a difficulty that counsel can- 
not appreciate. It rests with us therefore, ex- 
clusively, to bear the weight of that moral 
responsibility which is involved in the exercise 
of a legal discretion in cases of serious libel, 
and hence I class them among the most difficult 
that fall to our lot to manage. 

It is our duty in all cases to form a dis- 
passionate judgment on the wrongs sustained 
by our clients, but there is no case in which 
this is so necessary as in actions or prosecutions 
for libel. Even where language is insulting, no 
three men will be found who exactly agree in 
their measure of the insult ; but if the question 
is whether it is injurious, speculation is still 
more at fault. I have very often looked back 
on life, and when reflecting on the absurdities 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


409 


and follies ot my adolescence, perhaps in honesty 
I should cay of a yet later period, I have thought 
what a blessed thing it is that people have such 
short memories in every thing that does not 
concern themselves. If others were to treasure 
up our ridiculous errors with as much fidelity 
as conscience does, what a set of fools most of 
us must appear! Such however, is to every 
man, his vast importance in his own eyes that 
in the first ebullitions of wrath provoked by 
newspaper libel, he concludes all the world has 
nothing else to think about, and will think of 
nothing else while the present generation lasts, 
but the ludicrous figure which he is made to 
cut in the columns of the Times, the Herald, 
or the Chronicle ! lie is in no temper to take 
a just estimate of the injury, and all his family 
are sure to sympathize with him, feeling a sort 
of reflected disgrace in the ridicule thrown upon 
their relative. Our province is to provide the 
scales for nicely weighing the injury committed : 
if it is clear that character is blemished, so long as 
the charge remains uncontradicted, that official 
influence will be diminished, commercial credit 
tarnished, or professional income damaged, we 

are warranted m advising a recourse to law : 

18 


410 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


but in deciding these points, it is our business 
to consider well, as in a former case to which 
I have just alluded, whether the imputation is 
not only serious, but unequivocally expressed, 
and prima facie, entitled to credit when proceed- 
ing from such a quarter ; whether the general 
reputation of our client may not stand too high 
to be affected by it ; whether he may not have 
himself provoked the slander by intemperate 
controversial language ; a charge to which you 
may be sure that he will not readily plead guilty ; 
and above all whether there exists no color or 
foundation for the libel. When satisfied on these 
important preliminaries, our further advice must 
be governed by special circumstances, such as the 
station and pursuits of the client; his moral 
qualities and character, his relative duty to 
near connexions, or to superiors in office; the 
position and circumstances of the defendant 
should also be taken into the account; the 
general respectability and influence of hi3 
journal, and the probability of a successful 
issue proving efficient to restrain him from 
further offense ; for many are too wealthy to care 
either for fine or damages, and many so poor that 
it is a matter of indifference whether they lose 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


411 


a verdict for twenty pounds, or a thousand. 
We must be guided by sucb considerations in 
electing between civil and criminal proceedings, 
and set at defiance all taunts of having made 
our election wrong. It is impossible to pre- 
scribe general rules for the exercise of discretion 
on these occasions ; all I can say is, that politi- 
cal libels are for the most part better let alone ; 
but if that is impossible, then a criminal infor- 
mation is usually the safest course. An action 
is the most eligible proceeding in most cases of 
private libel, but the attorney is a fool positive 
who brings bis action in any case, where the 
chances are even that he only recovers nominal 
damages; his rapacity and roguery will be a 
most amusing theme to the judge, the jury, and 
every body but himself ; and his bill will be 
taxed to wind up the farce ! 

Many of these remarks are equally applicable 
to the libels of private writers, though it is only 
ir the instance of newspapers that much difficulty 
oi discretion occurs : but there is such a thing 
as being too successful for the client’s interest. 
I recollect being instructed many years ago to 
bring an action for a naval officer who had 
been charged with swindling in a letter address- 


412 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


ed to the Admiralty. It was intimated to him 
that he must acquit himself of the charge in a 
court of law, or be struck out of the Navy 
List. The action was tried at the assizes, and 
Mr. Baron Gurney, than whom there never 
existed a more able advocate at Nisi Prius, was 
his counsel ; the damages were laid at <£500, 
and we unluckily recovered half ; the costs were 
taxed at three hundred more, and the defendant, 
panic - struck by this result, absconded. I found 
out his place of concealment in a very singular 
way, and laid a plan for his caption, which 
succeeded, but not till the fellow shot one man, 
and stabbed another in the attempt, for which 
a merciful jury convicted him of manslaughter, 
and an upright judge (Lord "Wynford) trans- 
ported him for life ; but my unfortunate client, 
though he retained his rank, never recovered a 
sixpence, and soon after died of a disorder 
brought on by vexation, anxiety, and disap- 
pointment. The circumstances of this case 
would alone be sufficient for a romance, but I 
have not space for the melancholy and extraor- 
dinary details ; so extraordinary that I could 
scarcely hope to obtain credit for them, except 
with those who took part in them, and still 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


413 


survive. It was by what is commonly called 
good fortune, that I personally escaped the 
danger. The defendant was secreted in a lonely 
house at some distance from town, that used to 
be frequented only a few months previously by 
the gang of ruffians who were engaged with 
Thurtell in the plunder and murder of Weare. 
At the same time that I was informed of his place 
of concealment, I was also cautioned that his 
character was desperate, and that he always 
went armed. Apprehending that he was more 
likely to buy off the officer than shoot him, I 
resolved to accompany him, to guard against 
any dereliction of duty, and ordered a post- 
chaise. We were both seated in it, and the boy 
had mounted, when I found that my pistols, 
which I had been advised to take for self- de- 
fense, had not been put into the carriage. I 
stopped the post-boy, and desired my clerk to 
fetch the mahogany box on my table. “ What 
is that, Sir?” asked the officer. “Only my 
dressing- case : we may be detained all night.” 
“Dressing-case !” replied the man, who on tak- 
ing it out of my clerk’s hand, found that it was 
heavy, “if that’s your fun, it’s no go for me: 
I’ll have nothing to say to such a job. You 


414 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


may chance to get dressed to some purpose with 
them sort of tools ; hut I won’t he shaved with 
you, I promise you !” and out he jumped, in 
spite of all my expostulations, and bolted. As 
of course I had myself no authority to take the 
defendant, there was no help for it but to dis- 
patch my clerk to the other end of the town in 
search of another officer who knew his person. 
It was so late in the day before he succeeded, 
that he ordered a chaise, and set off with the 
officer contrary to my directions, without re- 
turning to me. Hence I knew nothing of the 
catastrophe, till long after it was all over. Had 
I been present, I should most probably have 
been the victim ; for it was principally against 
me that his vindictive fury was excited, and 
being myself armed and irritable, I might not 
have been the only one ! It was one of those 
merciful escapes for which I hope and wish to 
be for ever grateful to an overruling Providence. 
Occasions may occur where it is right for an 
attorney to go a little out of his way to protect 
a client’s interest, and this was one of them : 
but the result proves that nothing short of 
necessity, or a quasi necessity, can excuse him 
for stepping beyond the line of professional duty. 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


415 


CHAPTER XXVI. 

* Judicls eat semper in causis verum sequi ; patron! nonnunquam 
Veriflimile, etiam si minus sit verum, defendere.” 

Cic. de Off. 

There is yet another description of “ awk- 
ward cases ” on which I must offer a short re- 
mark. As a general maxim, a lawyer is bound 
to accept every retainer, or abandon business ; 
but in our branch of the profession it is compe- 
tent to him to reject any particular class, if he 
avowedly devotes himself to another. It is not 
very politic, however, to be thus fastidious with 
old and accustomed clients. Accidental cir- 
cumstances early rendered me very familiar 
with practice in crown cases ; but I soon found 
that though such business is easily acquired 
and by no means unprofitable, as I have else- 
where shown, it does not consist with a respec- 
table ambition to seek it. If one who habitu- 
ally consults you is so unhappy as to have a 


416 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


son or a brother involved in a criminal charge, 
it would be rank cowardice to decline a retainer 
on bis behalf, merely because such employment 
is not generally considered reputable ; and in 
the motto which I have prefixed to this chapter, 
we have a high authority to guide us in the 
duty which such a retainer imposes. But still 
I would always recommend the attorney to 
keep himself as much in the back -ground as 
possible, and to avoid all hazard of rendering 
his name conspicious in the police - reports. 
This is easily accomplished by giving a brief 
to some Old Bailey counsel ; and they are far 
more up to all the tricks and manoeuvres of 
Bow street practice than the most shrewd and 
dexterous attorney can ever hope to find nim- 
self, where his business of this kind is only 
casual. The disposition of the client to deceive 
his solicitor is, as might be expected, most 
strongly exhibited in cases of criminal accusa- 
tion, though his chance of being acquitted 
must essentially depend on the sincerity with 
which he confides in him. A defendant in a 
felonious charge can rarely bring himself to 
acknowledge his guilt even to a privileged con- 
fidant ; yet without a full and frank explanation 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


417 


of all circumstances, the attorney may be taken 
by surprise, when all precaution is too late, and 
must at all events be deprived of the oppor- 
tunity of sifting the evidence for the prosecu- 
tion. Nor is the innocent defendant less charge- 
able with this folly : whether it is to be ascribed 
to the natural shame of being even suspected of 
a serious offense disgraceful to character, or to 
a distrust of the zeal of the attorney when he 
finds he has an equivocal case, I cannot say ; 
but I have known instances of men, accused of 
crime, when only guilty of venial indiscretion, 
who while eager and loud in protesting their 
innocence, have exposed themselves to the im- 
minent risk of a conviction, by withholding a 
confession of those minor follies that have 
brought them under suspicion of guilt. I will 
content myself with mentioning only one case 
which will serve to show the value of perfect 
candor. It occurred many years ago, in the 
person of a college friend who had just arrived 
in London, as ignorant of its snares as a child 
in arms. He was occupied for some days in 
that most wearisome of all pursuits, — lodging- 
hunting. In one of his morning excursions, 

he entered a respectable -looking house, over 
18 * 


418 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


which he was show.i by a young female of very 
forward and flippant manners. He thought- 
lessly entered into familiar conversation with 
her, not very likely of the most decorous kind, 
when the artful hussey ran out of the room, 
screaming violently for help, till her cries 
brought up a man to her assistance, who, with- 
out more ceremony, laid hands on the supposed 
culprit, and detained him while he sent out the 
girl for an officer ! It was in vain that he ex- 
plained and protested: he was carried off in 
custody on a charge of attempting a criminal 
assault, and the only indulgence granted to him 
was to send a messenger for me, before he was 
taken to the bar of the police office. He told 
me frankly all that had passed ; and as I knew 
him to be a man of veracity, and he had 
admitted enough to lay himself open to re- 
proach, though not to accusation, I thought 
the best way was to compromise the matter. 
The girl of course, was impracticable : but I 
applied to the man, and he had the impudence 
to ask a hundred pounds ! To obtain time for 
inquiry, I affected to listen to him, and left my 
friend in custody all night, while I spent the 
time in inquiries about the house and its worthy 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


419 


inmates ; nor was it spent in vain. The land- 
lord of the scoundrel, though I believe he was 
fully cognizant of his tenant’s character, entered 
warmly into the matter, personally undertook 
the negotiation, and effected my friend’s release 
for five pounds. I afterwards was informed, 
how truly I cannot say, that it was not the 
first nor the second occasion on which this 
precious pair had played the same game success- 
fully ! Had my friend kept back his folly from 
me, such as it really was, I should have advised 
him to face it out, and the advice would have 
been hazardous, to say the least of it! had 
nothing worse followed, he would have been 
stigmatized for life by the publicity of a police 
report, nor would a subsequent acquittal at the 
Old Bailey have much mended the matter, in 
point of reputation. An attorney is bound to 
make the best of his client’s case, whether guilty 
or innocent; but I think he is always justified 
in throwing it up, when he has reason to believe 
that his client is withholding full confidence. 

If I were to follow up my subject to its full 
extent, I should fill another volume; and my 
publisher already complains of the length of 
this. The dilemmas in which we find ourselves 


420 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY 


in entangled family settlements — in arranging 
the affairs of half- ruined men of rank — in 
winding up a bankrupt estate — in negotiating 
the compromise of election petitions, or in 
prosecuting or defending them — in soliciting 
private hills — in seeking redress for colonial 
grievances — are so various, and yet so perplex- 
ing, that each head deserves not only a chapter, 
but a volume for itself; and though perhaps I 
have only yet run half my course, I could 
readily find materials in my own office, without 
going further, to fill that volume. But my 
intelligent reader will perceive that all profes- 
sional difficulties of the kind resolve themselves 
into that inexperience of human character, as 
it is exhibited in the intercourse of the busy 
world, which is common to us all in early life : 
as soon as we acquire an insight into the 
workings of passion and of complicated motive, 
in those with whom we have to deal, it is easy 
so to regulate our own behaviour as not only 
to avoid offense, but acquire that sober in- 
fluence which every solicitor ought to possess 
with his clients. Some indeed are so head- 
strong, so irritable, and so impracticable, as to 
set all management at defiance. Some, again, 


IN SEARCH OF PRACTICE. 


421 


are so narrow -in nded and illiberal as to pre- 
sume on the obligation which they conceive 
that they impose by employing us, and will, if 
not courteously made sensible of their mistake, 
attempt to extort unbecoming service or sub- 
mission ultra the value of any costs they pay. 
This is a failing more especially frequent with 
those whom I have formerly described as collec- 
tive clients. When our adverse fortune brings 
us in contact with clients of this description, 
if we can afford to dispense with them, the 
sooner we do so the better ; if we cannot, self- 
respect must not be sacrificed to profit ; for if 
it is, we shall still fail in extending or strength- 
ening our connexion. But it is impossible to 
advise any man how far or in what way he 
may prudently assert his independence: he 
must be guided by circumstances, and trust to 
his own natural address. My object has been 
to illustrate character, as usually exhibited by 
clients in their intercourse with us, and thereby 
to furnish a clue that may extricate any man 
of common sense from the worse than Daedalian 
labyrinths of our profession. The longer I 
live in that profession, however, the more I am 
convinced that straight-forward dealing, and 


422 


ADVENTURES OF AN ATTORNEY* 


honorable consistency of principle, go farther 
to smooth our path and preserve us from un- 
seen dangers, than all the address and all the 
shrewdness that knowledge of the world can 
give ; and these are qualities to be derived from 
a higher source than the experimental cautions 
of a stranger, or they will never be acquired at 
all ; I cannot conclude better than with a 
quotation from one who was no inexperienced 
teacher, though we rarely take our practical 
lessons from the pages of ancient philosophy. 

“ Nam certe neque intelligentiam concesseris 
iis, qui proposita honestorum ac turpium via, 
pejorem sequi malint ; neque prudentiam iis, 
qui in gravissimas, frequenter legum, semper 
vero malae conscientise, poenas, a semetipsis im- 
proviso rerum exitu inducantur.” — Quinctil. 












































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